Under Stars & Stripes
by Steffx621
Summary: They said live in the present because you can't never be too sure of the future. Sometimes all you need is to blink twice and suddenly your life has changed. For them the deal was in figure out if it changed for the better or not. LP
1. Under Stars & Stripes

**Summary :**They said live in the present because you can't never be too sure of the future. Sometimes all you need is to blink twice and suddenly your life has changed. For them the deal was in figure out if it changed for the better or not. LP

**Author's Note : **I'm not sure where this idea came from, I guess if you like it you can thank my mom's nosey and *_very_* loud friends *lol* But that actually is the thing, this is just an _idea_ at the moment. I've only wrote this and a little of Ch2. This is actually the fifth idea I'm putting to paper. You know two so far *Three with this one* But the other two I just wanna take my time with before start posting.

What is different with this story is that I'm not all that sure about it so I thought maybe you all could help me. Maybe I'll make of it just a short story, I have a few ideas as of where I want it to go, but like I said...not so sure, not so clear ideas, unlike my other stories.

{If anyone wants to help me with this one, I'll be open to suggestions btw hehe}

About the story's timeline : Everything up to S5 stays the same I think. Let's just avoid all S6 baby-drama. He called her from the airport and they got married soon after. This takes place around that first year of marriage I think :)

Enjoy, and let me know what you think.

**PS :** Of _one_ thing I am positive about this fic; LP against the world! Ha **:)**

**Under Stars & Stripes**

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W. M. Lewis once said;_ the tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. _Maybe he was right. Maybe we don't realize just how much we want to live until something or someone happens in our lives.

Glass shattering, screeching tires, horns blaring... her head was pounding, all she knew was that her mind was racing at a speed she didn't knew was possible. For a reason, making sense of her surroundings seemed a lot harder than it allegedly is.

She turned to her side, slightly rubbing her forehead as her eyes fluttered open properly. There was sunshine glimmering through the blind of the window; it was early...maybe a little too early. She blinked a few times, but the shaky feeling just wouldn't go away. She looked over at the clock a moment later, maybe it wasn't that early but she sure as hell felt as if it was.

Twenty-one past nine, it had only past twelve hours, yet it felt like a whole lifetime had passed by. In her mind, and in her eyes, everything seemed like such a blur.

Well, everything except for the bed beside hers. Suddenly, she started feeling guilty again. Actually, more than that, overly guilty might cover the feeling better.

Because of her she had been left alone. There was no one else for her, and she was the one to blame.

Or maybe not, but she sure felt as if she was.

She had looked down, she remembered that much. She'd looked down for a moment, and in the other, a haze of sounds and lights where all she could hark back.

Maybe if had been his fault too. It'll be easier if she could blame it all on him, but that would be a lie and she was well aware of that.

It wouldn't be fair to him either, he was just trying to be the man she'd felt in love with in the first place.

"Do you remember what happened?"

She asked not really knowing why. Her voice was husky, and weak, and for some reason it didn't felt as hers.

But she still needed to ask the question, she knew she was awake in the other bed. Her eyes were tiredly staring into hers, and although she knew she wanted to turn to her other side and not look at her anymore, all the tubes, and machines that were covering her small frame didn't allow her to do so.

Silence settled next. Quiet and taunting silence. It felt deafening... the moment her voice stopped all the flashes and memories came back to her mind and all she wanted to do was push them aside and pretend she was back at her office ready to go home.

But there was just so much she could pretend; the reality was still there, and not planning to leave any time soon. She looked over at her, staring into her eyes just the same way she was doing back at her. Her face was stained with dry tears; she shouldn't be surprised by that though. If she thought about it for a moment she'd come to the conclusion hers would be too. She hadn't let anyone touch her; she'd been inconsolable, crying for nearly an hour, yet it didn't matter who came closer to her, she'd pushed them away.

She wanted one person; she wanted a person that simply couldn't be with her any longer.

She'd be lying to herself if she said she had been okay with the picture, but there was nothing she could do either to help even though her heart broke a little bit more with every tear she shed the night before.

She had been okay. _They_ were okay. But the petit blonde girl at her side wasn't.

She was little, more than she should be maybe. Or perhaps she wasn't, perhaps the hospital bed, and the endless wires were what made her seem so small and vulnerable in that bed.

Either way, she couldn't stop the shaky breath that escaped her lips at the sight. For some reason, she wanted nothing more than to rush to her bedside and hold her for a moment.

Maybe tell her that she was okay, and that things would be okay, but she couldn't do that.

In her was that things weren't okay, and if someone had any right to tell her things were going to work themselves out, that someone certainly wasn't her.

One way or the other she'd torn her world apart. She never meant to, of course not. But she still had, or at the very least helped.

A small, almost unnoticeable shook of her head came next; if she hadn't been so focus looking into her sad green eyes she'd probably miss the motion. However, she didn't, and in a way, it was relieving.

That gentle, barely perceptible shook let her know just how in the middle of what seemed to be a nightmare something was still right with the world.

She hadn't been doom to carry that weight on her shoulders the way she was since the night before when in between cries and screams she'd learned who that girl beside her was.

It was strange. There was no reason why they should have been sharing the bedroom. It was a Thursday night in a small town, the ER wasn't all that packed at all, yet from the moment they had made him leave she'd been aware of just who slept unsoundly by her side.

Little by little, things started making sense in her head. If well it was true the moment her eyes opened that morning everything was a blur and seemingly a nightmare, by the time her eyes locked onto that girl's, not a detail had escaped her memory.

In a way, it felt as if history was repeating itself in one odd, twisted way. If she had only waited a few more minutes to come out, or if for the contrary she had left her office at the time she always did maybe nothing would had happened.

Maybe she'd be smiling into her husband's arms as he told her all those nice things he didn't stop telling her lately.

Maybe that girl would be right where she belonged and not obliviously trapped in a room with the person that someway took her world away.

"You are feeling okay?"

That was a dumb question and she knew it. She'd asked it soft though; as if afraid to break her...break her even more than she already was, but as the words slipped out of her lips, she was inwardly cursing herself.

She shouldn't have asked anything, she should have just stay quiet, and wait until he'd come and pick them up and take them home.

That was a naïve thought though. She wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Neither would she. They've told her that much.

Maybe that was yet another twisted way fate was reminding her just what she had done.

That girl wasn't okay. That girl was broken and she more than likely didn't understood why.

She wouldn't be surprised if out of the sudden she'd asked her where was she. Where had she gone, and why she was stuck in a room with her and not with who she was supposed to be.

She'd asked a stupid question, something that she more than anyone else should understand. She knew how she was feeling, and that was definitely not okay.

Yet, she'd asked the question, and there it was, yet another small shook. It snapped in her at that very moment; she hadn't heard her voice yet, only her cries... that was especially painful.

More questions however where in the tip of her tongue. She didn't understood why, she hadn't feel yet that motherly feeling moms tend to gush about, yet with that little girl she felt as though she had to protect her somehow.

That felt wrong for some reason, and even though she couldn't explain why, she knew she still want it to go away.

"I...It hurts you?"

She stammered out closing her eyes tightly for a few seconds after she'd finished asking the question.

The hell with what she wanted, right? The hard way, but she'd learned already just how she could wish and hope all she wanted, but that one way or the other she was never going to be able to be in complete control of everything that happened in her life.

Fate would always find the way of send in her direction all kind of unknown things that would let her back in square one.

It wasn't fair, then again, she wasn't the one that mattered most at that moment. It was that girl. She did, she mattered more for her for a reason she couldn't understand.

She just did.

She'd asked her if it hurt, if she was in pain in any way, but that was a tricky question and she wasn't sure how much of it she'd picked up.

Of course she was asking her if the bruises, and scratches on her face and body hurt, but that wasn't all of it. She wanted to know if she was hurting inside. If she actually understood what had happened, and if the tough face she was wearing was just a front or if she was actually that strong.

She wanted to know. She _needed_ to know.

At her question, her face fell though. She wasn't exactly expecting her to answer with her words, but maybe a nod or...yet another shook.

None of that happened still. Her lips curled up uneasily, and she looked over at everything that was hooked to her body.

Maybe she had actually understood all the senses of the question, and just maybe it hurt her even to think about it.

"You?"

She'd asked back a moment later taking her completely aback. A few rapid jerks with her head were all she could manage.

She had already given up to listen her replying her own question; she wasn't expecting her saying anything, let alone asking her something concerning her wellbeing.

"Uh," She let out rather uneasily trying to shift slightly on the bed but stopped upon realizing just how much it actually hurt to do so. "It..." She began again, but paused when the bedroom door swung open.

Her head snapped to the door without a second thought –_and so did hers_– she was glad to see him. Of course she was. She made herself smile a little in spite of everything.

That big was the power he held on her. He was holding in one hand a big teddy-bear –_as if that would actually fix things_– but she still couldn't stop herself from liking the gesture. He was wearing a worried look still, and the wave of guilt she felt was merely inevitable.

She kept smiling though. More so, as her eyes caught sight of yet another teddy-bear; that one was smaller, and all white with just a red ribbon tied around its neck. That one wasn't for her, and she couldn't be more glad of the fact.

She didn't need any reminders, she certainly didn't, but in that very moment he still reminded her just why she had married him.

"I..." He mumbled darting back and forth between the two beds. "I..._Hi_," He chirped with a small smile, bending down and kissing her forehead for a really good moment.

He'd been scared. More than that really. You never know how much a single call can affect you until you are face with one that can undoubtedly change the course of your life completely.

"Hi,"

She said back trying to smile, but she didn't quite accomplish it. Her voice carried small through the bedroom; it was sad, and somber...dull.

Lucas' lips twisted just a bit as he looked down at her, but he still couldn't find in himself the power not to smile.

She was okay. They were okay.

He couldn't not feel happy about that.

A moment later, he lifted his head catching sight of the small blonde. "Hey," He said softly in her direction.

She looked down almost immediately at his words. She attempted to brush the tip of her nose when it itched slightly, but a groan of pain slipped out her pursed lips as she tried to do so.

Concern painted both their faces at the sight. None of them said the words but it was a fact both were aching to do something.

Anything.

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**AN :** What do you think? Should I, or shouldn't I continue? I really dunno!** :)**


	2. You Don't Want to Know

**Author's Note : **So I did decided to continue.I thought you all that read Ch1 deserved at least that much. I've been giving it a little more thought, and I think I can pull off a few more chapters at least hehe** :)**

Little shout-out to 'Ash'; wanted to say Thank you for your review, and for giving away your guesses. That made me smile, and it actually made my mind started working ideas for this fic. Hope you continue to like it hehe** :)**

I also wanted to answer here a question that was asked about the fic title; mainly it's because of a line in James Blunt's _'Carry You Home'_ song, which by the way, is a song I love more than words can really say hehe :) But there are also a few more reasons you'll learn soon enough if only you keep reading **:)**

We'll see how it goes, okay? In the mean time, well...**Enjoy!**

**You Don't Want to Know**

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The doctor had said they were going to be just fine. She wasn't sure if she believed in him completely though. Sure, all she got from the crash were a few scratches to her face, and the random broken bone, but even so, inside it felt as so much more.

It was white, a white car in the middle of the night. It hadn't been all that hard to tell apart the color. It hit hers, and it actually felt like in the movies, the white blinding light and all the memories, and '_What ifs?_' flashing right before her eyes.

She had seen him mostly. And that was actually a good thing. In some few seconds she saw her life past by and saw everything she'd gone through with Lucas; she saw just how much they've overcome, and how it was still hard to believe they were together at last.

That was still the part that hurt the most although it was allegedly a good feeling... a good memory. She knew at that moment just how many things she had yet to do. So many things yet to do with _him_. She wasn't ready to go away now and miss out on everything she knew the two of them would be.

She wasn't ready to leave him alone quite yet. She was his just the same way he was hers, and because of that, she simply wasn't going anywhere.

None of them were.

It sounded cliché in her mind, but the bottom line was that she had been given a second chance, and that was the truth. She'd got a second chance to make wrongs right, and to somehow grasp even tighter onto everything she had going on in her life.

Not everybody had been as lucky as they were.

Not everybody had made it through that night in one piece.

"Hey best friend!" Brooke said cheerily from the door.

She was wearing one big grin Peyton tried to match as well as she could. "Hey back at you," She said scrunching her nose up playfully.

Brooke shook her head a little looking at her, maybe it was at the craziness of the last few hours. She'd gotten to think the worst, and beyond, but in the end things had turned out okay.

Or so she liked to think that way. All that mattered to her right now was that they were okay. "You scared the crap out of me, Peyton Saw..." She paused smirking slightly as she reached Peyton on the bed closer to the door. "Scott," She added as she carefully pulled her into a hug.

Her features softened as she pulled away and Peyton could swear Brooke had put on a pout on her lips. "Don't you dare do that to us again, okay?" She asked wide-eyed and all Peyton could do in response was nod her head.

"I won't. I promise. I'm sorry." She said not really thinking in what she was saying. She had actually apologize?

Apologize for a reckless man who didn't know when too many tequilas were enough?

That didn't felt right once she got the chance to actually think about it.

Yet, maybe at some level she needed to say the words.

'_I'm sorry'_

Two small words...it was simple really. The problem however, was that it wasn't Brooke who needed to hear them.

"Okay," Brooke replied smiling softly at her before her look shifted to the other side of the room. "She...?" She trailed off as she returned her gaze to the oldest blonde.

"Yeah," Peyton said simply looking over at the sleeping girl beside her. "I..." She said twisting her lips slightly. "I don't even know her name," She said as she turned back, and locked eyes with Brooke. "I...I saw everything, I saw her, and she..._she_ saw me, and I...I don't even know her name." She confessed fairly uneasily, and for some reason her eyes welled up with tears in only a few seconds.

"Peyton..." Brooke said softly reaching out her hand, and caressing gently Peyton's cheek. "This wasn't your fault honey. It really wasn't." She said as soothingly as she could sound, but a part of her knew still her words would do very little for her friend.

"It just happened so fast."

Peyton explained before she rest her head back on the pillow, and her eyes fell shut. That was the truth. She had left the studio not even five minutes before everything happened; she'd been behind a blue car, and beside a black one. The little girl had been in the black one. Peyton had actually turned to look over at her in the backseat of her mom's car. She had found herself doing that a lot lately so she really didn't paid much attention to details.

She might have been laughing, or talking, or playing, or maybe saying to her mom that kind of things only kids can say.

Either way she couldn't know now. She couldn't know just what that girl had said last to her mother.

Peyton had said '_I love you'_. That was always comforting for some reason. She left for school that morning, and the last thing she said to her mom was '_I love you'_ while she hugged her goodbye.

Who knew what that little girl had said to her own mother?

The lights changed to green and it had taken the man before her a few moments to start up his car again. Her cell phone buzzed in that moment too, so she also took a moment to start her own car. It had been an '_I am sorry, all right? PS: I love you. Don't forget that.'_ She'd read the text with a smile on her face; he had actually been wrong, he had _almost_ yell at her because she was just a _little_ sick of him babying her around. In any case, smile or not smile, when she looked back up and started her car, the black car that once was at her side was now in front of her, and in just a split second the same car was swirling hastily in the opposite direction along with hers.

She had seen clearly the little girl's terrified look through the window. That was the only thing she could made sense off at that moment. It all went to black all too fast, and when her eyes opened again, all she could hear were ambulances' sirens muffled by people's yells and shrill cries. She'd seen her own car as they were settling her in one of the ambulances; only one side had been wrecked, one only, and not her side. She'd felt relieved for a moment. Then she'd seen the black car again. Then she had seen not only the passenger's side of the car tear down, but also the driver's side, and even the back of it.

She didn't saw the little girl until well after when she heard her cries in the emergency room.

She couldn't explain it, but she simply knew it. She knew at that moment just what had happened.

"They said they are taking you up into a private room sometime today," Brooke said softly a moment later, trying to gently pull Peyton out of her thoughts.

She nodded her head with her eyes closed, but after just a few seconds, she opened them again fixing them firmly into the brunette's. "What about her?" She asked not really looking over at the girl, but she still knew it was pointless to do so.

Of course she was asking for her.

At her question, Brooke's lips curled uneasily as she looked apologetically in Peyton's direction. "I don't know." She admitted sincerely, shrugging a little her shoulders.

Peyton shook her head slowly looking back down at her lap. "I...I wanna stay in the same room with her." She said not really knowing why, but she knew at least that that was what she wanted. "Can you do that?" She asked nearly pleading.

"Sure."

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"Jennifer"

It was just a whisper; yet, it managed to make her jump a little. She then sat up on the bed, tucking a few curls behind her ears. She smiled sheepishly looking at Lucas by the doorway; there was just so much she could hide from him, and she was well aware this wasn't one of those cases.

He knew exactly what she was thinking.

Everything she simply couldn't stop thinking about now.

"That's her name?" Peyton asked needlessly. Lucas smiled back at her as he moved closer to the bed. She shifted quietly allowing him to sit right next to her.

Needing the closeness, she snuggled as deeply as she could into his out stretched arms. "Yeah," Lucas mumbled looking down at her. "She's only six." He informed her not really knowing why. He'd be lying to himself if he said that he wasn't just a little worried about that need of closeness Peyton was starting to develop towards that girl, but ultimately he couldn't blame her either.

Someone had to worry about her, right? She was only six-year-old and was now left on her own.

Somebody had to.

"Six." Peyton echoed, bringing her look down to her hands, and resting her head against his chest. "What's going to happen to her?"

Lucas stayed quiet for a moment. He didn't know exactly what to answer her. There was just so much he could find out about that girl without being a relative, or at least someone who knew her. He'd found out very little, and in all honesty he didn't want her to know it. "I don't know," He said with a small shrug of his shoulders. He wasn't exactly lying. He was just keeping some of the information to himself. "I guess they'll try to find her family, I don't know."

_Then_ he had lied. He closed his eyes for a moment, instinctively tightening his hold on Peyton. He had been so close to lose her –_again_– That was a feeling he dreaded, and didn't wish on anybody. Not even his worst enemy. He didn't want to lie to her, but he also didn't want to see her hurting. "You're feeling all right?" He asked just a few seconds later, in a lame attempt to change the subject, and take her mind off that little girl.

She waited a moment to respond, but then simply nodded her head. "Yep," She mumbled quietly into his chest.

"Yeah?" Lucas asked back looking down at her closed eyes. "What about…"

"Everything's okay," Peyton assured him knowing exactly where he was going. She felt him nodding his head, and resting it against hers. She liked that feeling, it was bittersweet though, but she still felt as safe as she had always felt when being in his arms. "There's no one, is it?" She asked still not looking up at him, but he was well aware of the look she was giving him.

Maybe he wasn't such a good liar after all.

Or maybe she simply knew him too much.

"No it's not." Lucas said solemnly, shifting so that he was looking down as her eyes fluttered open. "I'm sorry," He said softly and Peyton had to smile a little at his words.

"I love you, you know that?" She said simply because she wanted too. There are many things people tend to take for granted; telling the people you love '_I love you'_ is one of those. They had been married for ten-months and just a few days. She couldn't remember a day in that time she hadn't said to him those three little words at least one time each day.

She felt proud about that fact for some reason.

"I do," Lucas replied quietly, as he leaned his head down and pressed softly his lips to hers. "I love you too." He said pulling away, and resting his forehead against hers so that the two of them could look into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry," He said again, smiling sheepishly in her direction.

Peyton tried to return him the smile, and although she succeeded, it was a smile that certainly broke his heart a little more. "You don't have to lie to me. I'm not gonna break, got it?" She asked raising her eyebrows a bit.

Lucas nodded his head as he pulled away properly. "She...Her mom apparently didn't had family. She'd grew up in foster care, or something, they wouldn't tell me much." He said honestly, looking down firmly into her eyes. "They said we didn't have to worry, that they had called social services already, and that it was just a matter of hours for someone to take care of her." He said looking over at the little girl in the other bed.

She was still sleeping. A part of him was glad of that. He had seen her before he left the night before, and even though it was obvious she didn't understand a bit of what was going on, she sure seemed as if she simply knew things were wrong.

He hated to see the way her small body heaved up and down uneasily as she breathed. She was restless, her breath was sharp and ragged, and the worst part was that there really was no one to comfort her the way she needed.

The way she deserved.

"Hey," Lucas called a moment later when Peyton shifted her look from his eyes, and buried her head on the crook of his neck without saying a word. She wasn't one to keep her opinions to herself, not when she was with him anyway. "Just talk to me," He said simply, tucking some unruly curls behind her ear.

Peyton closed her eyes again, and remained quiet for a good moment as though just taking in the fact that she was okay, and in the arms of the man she loved. "That's what is gonna happen to her," She whispered quietly, not even trying to open her eyes. She knew he was listening to every word that slipped out of her lips anyway. "History is gonna repeat itself with that little girl. She's alone now, and who knows where they are gonna take her now. She had a family. She did, and now she has nothing. I..." She paused squeezing her eyes closed even tighter, and shaking her head.

"I know it's not fair," Lucas chimed in knowing exactly what kind of thoughts were clouding her mind at the moment. He knew she felt guilty. He knew that in spite of the fact that she was glad she was alive, and okay, she'd wished it had been her car the one that got hit the most instead of that little girl's mother one. He knew it was killing her inside everything she knew that little girl was going to go through from now on.

"It's not." Peyton agreed taking a deep breath as her eyes fluttered open at last. "She's _so_ little, you know?" She noted looking over at the other bed for a few seconds. "And she...I had my dad, Luke. My mom died, but I still got _him_. I had that someone to lean on, and cry with. I didn't have to go on alone, and as hard as it was, I was never alone. I got him and I..." She paused for a moment letting out a chuckle that she didn't even knew where was coming. "And I had Brooke. It hurt, and I was angry, and I might have pushed them away at the time, but I never really meant it. It always meant everything they were with me, and she...She's got no one. You, you're right. It's not fair."

And with that, and the tears that steadily formed in the corners of her eyes she made herself stop talking, and instead went back to her spot into Lucas' arms.

At that moment, he was only sure of one thing and one thing only; he loved her. He loved every single thing that crossed that mind of hers, and everything that came out of her lips. He especially loved her heart. It was so big, and he couldn't feel more glad he owned a part of it.

It was simple, and the fact that in the last twenty-four hours he had been forced to think in a life without her was simply wrong.

He knew he couldn't live a life without that girl in his arms. She was everything and he knew that much.

"You are forgetting something though." Lucas pointed out a moment later. His voice was soft, and quiet, but it still carried his love for her, and he was sure she'd heard all that.

"Yeah?" Peyton asked from his chest fairly incredulously.

"Yup," Lucas said simply, lifting her head with his forefinger tucked under her chin. "She's alive, Peyt. She is; one way or the other she is. And who knows? Maybe things for her will work out. Maybe she'll find somehow someone who would love her just as much as her mom did. Maybe life has greater things ready for her, and she only has to hang in there, you know? She's alive and that's what is important. The rest...the rest I'm sure will worked out. Look at you, things worked out pretty well for you, didn't they?" He asked nodding his head a bit.

Peyton stared into his eyes for a good moment, simply letting his words sink in. After a couple seconds, she managed a smile, and matched his motion nodding her head too. "They did." She replied at last. "I got you, don't I?"

"You do," Lucas replied without hesitation, winking playfully in her direction. "And you always will." He added as he leaned in once again, and gave her that kiss the two of them where so in need of.

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**AN :** So I think this chapter cleared some things up a little, right? What do you think LP is going to do? Or should do for that matter?

Thanks so much for reading.


	3. The Softer Side

**Author's Note : **Thank you so much to everyone who's reading, and for the ones who reviewed, and alerted, and favorite this story. It's not news, but I really wasn't sure at all of it at the beginning, but now I'm actually getting a little excited about it thanks to all you guys hehe! So thank you! Really hope you continue to like it!

A little onto this chapter, it went a little long, I hope you don't mind. And also...Any of you ever watched '_Mercy_'? I think it was a pretty decent show, but oh well...it got cancelled; in any case, this chapter is partly inspired by one episode, so yep, that's it. Hope you enjoy!** :)**

**The Softer Side**

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She wasn't going to lie. It hurt, it did. Every little step she took getting upstairs made her body ache from top to toe.

Sure, they've given her meds, and she hadn't complain all that much in the last couple of days, but she also knew that there were only too many medicine her body could take, and apparently, whatever they _did_ gave her, have already wore off by the time she decided to make her way up to the roof.

She couldn't stop wondering if that little girl's body hurt just as much as hers did. She didn't seem as if she was in any kind of pain though. She had slipped down of her bed really decisively and without signs of being in any discomfort.

At least not physical that was.

Peyton assumed she'd thought she and Lucas were soundly asleep since she did saw her hesitating a little looking over at the bed the two of them were before she really processed leaving the room.

Peyton had hesitated as well before going after her. She had waited for a moment as though hoping a nurse, or anyone really, would bring her back into the room.

That never happened though, so again, it was in Peyton to figure out what to do next.

She'd slipped out of her own bed quietly, and fairly careful not to wake up Lucas in the process. In all honesty that was the less she wanted. If her last forty-four plus hours had been crazy, she didn't doubt for one second his had been nuts as well.

He had been all over the place talking with doctors, the police…social services; he'd been doing everything and anything she had asked him for; the very least he deserved was to have an '_okay_' good night sleep, and Peyton certainly wasn't one to disturb that.

Fortunately, she'd succeed, and Lucas remained soundly asleep on her bed, as she stepped out of the room.

In any case, although the way up the stairs hurt, the moment her feet reached the roof, she'd known it had been worth it.

She saw her sitting on the floor, resting her body against the wall, and looking up at the sky really thoughtfully. Peyton's first thought was how beautiful the view was, she actually hadn't been there before, and it never really crossed her mind that in such sad place as the hospital had always been for her, she could find such beautiful landscape only a few feet away from her room.

However, the second thought that crossed her mind was when the wind made her hair blown from side to side; it was almost one o'clock in the morning, and it was certainly cold. She didn't knew where she was going when she left her room, had she known it she'd bring something to cover that little girl's body. That awful hospital gown was definitely not doing much for her at that moment.

With a quiet sigh, Peyton moved to where she was, and wordlessly sat down next to her. At the motion, Jennifer brought her look down but didn't really turn to look over at Peyton.

If she was being honest with herself she didn't knew exactly what to say. She only knew she wanted to say something that would help that little girl one way or the other to feel better.

Or at least to feel a little bit less sad.

"They said my mommy died." Jennifer said breaking the silence Peyton couldn't break herself for the life of her.

She stayed quiet for another moment though. She simply shifted herself a little so that she was looking down at the girl, who steadily kept looking up at the oddly beautiful purple sky that covered Tree Hill that night. "I am sorry for that," Peyton said softly, at last finding her words.

In more than one way, she didn't want to say those _exact_ words. She more than anyone knew what it was like when they said them to you, and they really didn't help much.

Then again, she couldn't think of something else to say.

She was actually getting perspective, in one twisted way, but she still was. For once, she wasn't in the place where _she_ was the victim, the poor little girl that lost her mom. She was getting to know what it was like to the be in the shoes of the people who surrounded her both times when it happened to her, and in all honesty, it wasn't a nice place to be.

The right words to say simply abandoned her without her really knowing why or how.

"They said she couldn't breathe so her body…stopped working, or something," Jennifer continued as she lowered her eyes. "Mommy says that when people die they fly up to the sky and become _angels_." She said and Peyton couldn't stop the smile that graced her lips at the sight of that teeny little smile that was tugging in the corners of Jennifer lips as well.

She stressed a lot the last word, and it wasn't said with sadness, or sorrow, it was with hope, and even happiness.

Peyton hadn't felt her heart so warm since the moment they've brought her into the hospital. "You think she's one now?" She asked looking right at her, although the girl's eyes had never really met hers.

Not tonight that was.

She had certainly seen into those pretty eyes of her already.

"Yeah," Jennifer replied quietly, sighing a little. "I just wish she didn't have to go away too."

'_Too'_ that sting quite hard in Peyton's heart for some reason. She let her eyes fell closed for a moment, as though she was trying to pull herself together. She honestly wouldn't be mad if someone came and explained her just what and why she was feeling what she was feeling.

Six years old, and she hadn't only lost her mom, but yet someone else in her life already.

Maybe the two of them could connect in more ways than Peyton would have ever wanted them to.

"I bet she's proud of you from wherever she is right now," Peyton said a moment later, taking a small chance and reaching out her hand to her knee. She squeezed it just a bit, and smiled when the girl's head moved slowly up and down.

That wouldn't be a surprise, and not a lie at all. She hadn't met that girl's mom, she didn't even know Jennifer all that well still, but she sure as hell knew just how _any_ mom would love to call that blonde little girl her daughter.

"Up in the sky, remember?" Jennifer said fairly knowingly, taking Peyton aback as she finally turned her head and met her eyes with a soft smile painted on her face.

Peyton genuinely smiled back in her direction; if she really believed her mom had gone up to the sky and became a beautiful angel; Peyton was more than willing to believe it as well. "Right," She said slightly nodding her head.

"We have same color eyes," Jennifer noted with a soft smile, and Peyton was actually trying hard to keep her smile just as soft.

If she was being honest, she was more so grinning inside for some reason.

"We do." Peyton agreed fixing firmly her own eyes on that –_almost_– same pair of greens of the little one.

Hers were a tiny bit more lighter, and with hints of yellow or something. Peyton knew one thing for sure; they were beautiful indeed.

"My name's Peyton," Peyton said a moment later, hesitantly, but still reaching out her hand for the girl to shake. They hadn't been formally introduced, and for some reason, the timing seemed kind of perfect for Peyton at that moment.

Whether she realized it or not, that little girl was letting her in, and that was never easy. She from all people would know that.

Jennifer looked up at her with the lips slightly pursed, but after just a few seconds, of what apparently was her musing over the idea, she reached out her hand as well, and with a timid smile on her face shook it with Peyton's. "My name is Jennifer, but I...I don't really like it that way," She confessed quietly and by then Peyton was finding it impossible not to smile.

"Why is that?" She asked just as quietly, leaning in closer to the girl so that nobody –_even though they were completely alone in the roof_– could hear them.

"Just cause it's too long," Jennifer whispered shrugging a little her shoulders. "Like yours," She added with what Peyton could actually consider a smirk, but that in any case caused her eyes to narrow.

"Like mine?" She asked again, only a _little _confused.

"Yeah, the lady in the white dress, she gets it, she called you _P._" Jennifer explained rather nonchalantly as if that was just the clearest of logics. She still lowered her eyes a second later for a reason Peyton couldn't quite figure out.

Not straight away that was.

She still tried to mask a little her concern and let out a small chuckle at the girl's comment. It actually did make sense; shorter names are _so_ much easy that long ones. "Oh," She said goofily drawing Jennifer's attention back to herself. "So you like short names, huh?" She asked raising her eyebrows although the girl was not looking at her face. "So how you like yours? _J_?" She pressed on a little bit more.

"Actually two Js," Jennifer corrected looking back up at Peyton with two of her fingers held up in the air as well. "Jennifer Jae Cooper." She all but chirped and Peyton's stomach dropped a little as she saw sadly how bit by bit her smile faded. "Mommy calls me JJ. She...Her name's little too, although not _that_ little." She explained quietly, and Peyton had to fight back hard her own emotions at that moment.

Was it really wrong how much she wanted to hold that girl at that moment?

"I bet you still like it though, right?" Peyton asked softly, and Jennifer simply nodded at her words. Honestly, what else could she do? She'd asked her if she liked her mom's name, there's no chance she'd asked a more rhetorical question. "You wanna tell me what is it?" She asked again with a small smile on her face, and really not wanting to use the past tense quite yet.

Especially not with that little one.

"Sure… it's Annie." Jennifer replied a moment later with the truest smile Peyton had ever seen gracing her face. "She's a teacher, and pretty good one." She said nodding her head decisively.

"I can bet on that," Peyton said matching genuinely her little smile. "I really do think that's a beautiful name. My mom's name was Anna, you know?"

"Really?" Jennifer asked back widening her eyes causing Peyton to chuckle.

"Yep," She said simply nodding her head.

"Did she come to see you too? A_ lot_ of people came to see you."

It amazed her, yet it saddened Peyton deeply. She seemed to be such a happy little girl. Happy with the life she has, or better _had_, but still caring about the others. If well it was true she'd told Peyton how _'they'_ had told her, her mom had died, she wouldn't find it weird if deep inside she was just waiting for her mom to come back as nothing had happened.

She'd been there; waking up a Saturday or a Sunday morning early, and simply staying in bed waiting for her to just come in holding her favorite breakfast in her hands as she had always do, even days or weeks after she was supposedly '_long gone'_.

Sometimes the fact that her mom was '_gone_' seemed so unreal, that pretend she really wasn't, was...easy.

Or at the very least, easier than dealing with the truth.

"Uh, no... No she didn't come." Peyton replied at last, smiling sadly in Jennifer's direction. "She died too." She confessed solemnly with a sigh.

The less she wanted was to put that kind of things on that sweet, little girl, but then again, she felt as though she couldn't lie to her.

She really couldn't.

"Oh," Jennifer said simply looking back down at her lap, before her body shook a little.

"You're shivering girlie!" Peyton said as she more out of instinct than anything else, pulled her into her lap, wrapping her arm around her tiny waist as well as she could.

She really didn't thought when she did it, she just felt as though that was the right thing do to. That was what whoever person would do upon a shivering little child. Yet, she knew that logic might not apply all that well with that little girl on her lap. The less she wanted was cross any lines, or break the little trust she had put on Peyton.

However, surprising, and breaking Peyton from her thoughts, little by little, Jennifer relaxed into her arms, and although hesitantly, ultimately rested her head on Peyton's chest, tucking one of her hands under her cheek.

Maybe it hadn't been a bad idea after all. Maybe that was what she had been needing all along. Nobody had _really _hold her in what Peyton supposed was over two days. Maybe she needed the closeness; feel –_if only for a little while_– that she wasn't alone, and that there was actually someone there to look after her.

Peyton rested her head gently against Jennifer's and without really a warning, tears pooled on her eyes for some reason. "You know I once met a little girl named Jennifer, too?" She asked after a few minutes of silence.

"You did?" Jennifer asked, not really looking up at her, but still Peyton didn't want her too. In that moment, she kind of only cared for her to feel a little warm again.

"I did." Peyton said simply, and smiling somewhat at the memory. "We all called her Jenny though. I still met her when she was just a little baby, but..."

"She's the baby all your family keeps talking about?" Jennifer interrupted asking pointedly what had been in her mind for quite some time already.

Peyton let out a chuckle at her words but shook her head. "Nope," She said again upon realizing Jennifer wasn't actually seeing her. She still couldn't help the goofy smile that graced her lips. Every time someone came into the room to visit her, Peyton had always assumed Jennifer had been asleep. She'd seemed as if she was.

Apparently not, and apparently, she had been listening, and most important she...she cared.

That warmed and broke Peyton's heart all at the same time. Without saying another word, she tilted her head resting her cheek against that little girl's head, and didn't even attempt to stop the lone tear that fell down from her eyes.

There were things that simply couldn't make sense in Peyton's head; the fact that little was now completely alone in the world was one of those.

"Does your arm hurt?" Jennifer asked a moment later, in that foreign, yet familiar for some reason, childlike way that only warmed Peyton's heart to its deepest bit. She _so_ carefully placed her hand over the cast that covered Peyton's right arm, as she shyly looked up meeting her eyes.

For a moment Peyton couldn't find her words, she just stayed in silence looking down at that little girl's face. "Nope," She said at last, squishing a little her nose. "Just a bit; what about you, does your forehead hurts?" She asked, just pointing playfully to the bandage that covered a good part of her forehead.

"Nope, just a little." Jennifer said matching a little Peyton's smile. "I...I just hate cars that don't stop." She noted a second later and Peyton simply had to let out a chuckle.

"Me too," She agreed looking down firmly into her eyes. "But hey!" She called when Jennifer was lowering her head. She looked up at her wide-eyed, but Peyton still put her back at ease offering her a small smile before she –_lightly_– scolded her. "Don't say hate." She warned although she wasn't sure how much of the scolding type she had on herself.

After all, she didn't even bother not to smile as she said the words.

Jennifer nodded her head smiling as well a little too. "Are you a mommy?" She asked taking Peyton quite aback.

"Me?" She asked needlessly, shaking slightly her head as though making sense of the question. Jennifer nodded her head again looking steadily into her eyes. The girl was actually serious. "Uh, no, I mean yeah, I mean...not yet," She settled and chuckled when Jennifer did so too.

"You sound like one."

* * *

"I'm just asking you to tell me what do I need," Peyton said for like the tenth time already, and if she was being honest, she was beginning to get a little angry.

Why couldn't she just...understand? She was her best friend after all, she _should _understand, that was her job for heaven's sake!

"I...I'm," Brooke stuttered not really knowing what to say. "I just want to be sure you know what you are asking me?"

"Asking you?" Peyton said back really trying to keep her tone soft. She couldn't be sure anymore when that sudden sidekick of hers was really asleep or just pretending. "I not asking you anything, I just need you to tell me what I need, and how do I do it?"

"Peyton..." Brooke tried with a sigh, but stopped herself from continue when Peyton kept going herself.

"No," She said firmly closing her eyes for a second, and taking a deep breath as though calming herself as she opened them again. "You are doing it for Sam, aren't you? She...You really think I would even consider it if it wasn't for _you_?" She asked pleading with her eyes. "You took care of Angie when she needed it, and I would never be able to tell you just how proud of you I was when you did it. You were selfless, and noble, and what you are doing for Sam right now is the same thing; and I just...God, Brooke, I just can't let her get lost in the system. She...She really doesn't deserve that. She deserves a chance, a chance to have that life she's supposed to. That's all I want." She admitted biting harshly her lower lip in an attempt to make it stop quiver.

Peyton had no idea in just what she was getting into. She simply knew she had to do it. She knew from the moment the decision was clear in her head that not everybody was going to be agree one-hundred-percent with her, she knew that they would blame her decisions on the aftershock of the accident, or in her hormones, or in whatever, but still _needed _to do it.

Explaining herself was going to be hard, she of course knew that much, but she only needed from Brooke a little support.

She more than anyone should understood what she was feeling, right?

At least that was what Peyton thought when she decided Brooke was the first person she'd tell her mind to.

She then rested her head back on the pillow, closing her eyes and letting out some shaky breaths. She felt Brooke almost immediately hovering over her, and she honestly felt as though she couldn't take it. "I just..." She began one more time as she sat up again, and locked firmly her eyes onto Brooke's. "I just want to do what is _right_, and my guts, my _heart_ tells me taking that girl is." She stated firmly, and Brooke was actually taking by surprise at the tears that were filling her friend's eyes.

She took a deep breath before moving even closer to Peyton in the bed, and resting her hand over her thigh. "I know that honey. And I get it; I do, and you are right, it's not fair to that little girl, but..."

"What?" Peyton interrupted pointedly, feeling a little lost at the '_why_' Brooke was trying to discourage her instead of the contrary that was what she'd expected once.

"It is just that...It's not just _you _anymore Peyton, all right? You haven't even talked to Lucas yet, and you are already asking me to get a lawyer so you can take care of her?" Brooke asked widening her eyes as she spoke. She was honestly just desperate for Peyton to see things just a little like she was seeing them. "You can't forget he_ is_ your husband, he's not just a random boy you are living with, he's your husband, and you are his wife, and you two are starting a family together. What about that? What about the baby?"

"What about it?" Peyton asked back sounding a hell of a lot more harshly than what she'd intended to sound. "I didn't mean it to come out like that," She said squeezing her eyes closed tightly. "I didn't. I didn't mean it like that," She said again as her eyes fluttered open and she unconsciously fixed them on her stomach. "I didn't."

"I know that, P." Brooke said softly reaching out her hand and caressing tenderly Peyton's cheek. "I just want you to know what you are asking me to do. What you are planning to do. That's not something you just decide overnight. That is something you need to think about, _and_ talk about. _Especially_ to Lucas, okay?"

"I...I know," Peyton granted at last softening her voice and features. "I just...I just can't let her on her own. She's alone Brooke, and she's such a great girl, and all I'm saying is that Luke and I could take care of her until something real happens to her. You'd heard all those awful stories of kids in foster care, I'm sure you must know everything Sam might have gone through growing up like that. I...Jennifer's only six-years-old, she's a little girl. I'm sure the chances of someone adopting her are actually good, so I'm not even saying this is going to be something that permanent. I just..._need_ to make sure she is going to be okay before..."

"Before you let go?" Brooke tried uneasily. She'd be lying is she said she wasn't lost about for example the '_when_' and '_how_' that girl became Peyton's to let go.

"Yeah," Peyton admitted quietly a moment later as her eyes fell shut. She couldn't explain it, she really couldn't, but she honestly needed to make sure that girl was going to have a decent life.

She didn't deserve anything less.

"Just...Look what you can do," Peyton said almost pleading, as she looked firmly into the brunette's eyes. "The doctors said I'm gonna be stuck in here for at least another week or so…so will she. I…I'm sure we can work something out in that time. I'm married after all, and we have room in the house, and I...I just really have to do it." She said strongly, although she was already feeling the hot tears forming in her eyes one more time. "I promise you I'll talk to Luke. Of course I will. And I...I'm sure he'll be okay with it. You just..."

"Okay," Brooke interrupted simply with a sigh, and shrugging her shoulders. "Okay, I'll...I will look what I can do. You...I just need you to tell me if you are really sure about doing this?"

"I am."

* * *

**AN :** Sooo...What do you say? I guess next chapter it'll be Peyton and Lucas actually talking about it? Your reviews last chapter got me to think in all kind of reactions he might have but I guess I won't know for sure until I sit and start writing the chapter hehe! Let me know what you thought, and if you'd like please keep guessing about what you think is going to happen next. It really does help me knowing the thoughts that cross all your minds hehe!

Anyway, enough of me! Hope you've liked this chapter. Oh, and let me know too what you thought of the little girl? Her personality came to me while writing this chapter so I'm still making my mind of '_who'_ exactly she's going to be hehe ;)


	4. The Heart Of The Matter

**Author's Note : **Hey! I know this chapter took a little while to get to you, I'm sorry for that! Apparently, I'm not having all the free time I wish I could have, but oh well… I won't bore you with excuses *hehe* **;) **

So... even though I was pretty close to cut this chapter in two, I thought that since it took longer to come out, the length would make up for that.

I hope it does, and I hope you all like it. Just so you know, I can already picture JJ in my head and that was a big –_if not huge_– break through with this story! *hehe*  
It just makes things easier at the moment of put that that is in your head onto paper so I hope that is showed somehow in this chapter *hihi* **Enjoy!**

**The Heart Of T****he Matter**

* * *

"Don't cry,"

It wasn't an order; that wasn't it. It was maybe more like a suggestion .

In that moment, and actually, in every other moment he had seen her like that, Lucas couldn't think in one single thing that broke his heart more than that girl's tears.

He was a little confused, but not surprised at all though. He had learned soon enough just how big Peyton Sawyer's –_now Scott's, naturally_– heart was. He knew she only needed a little time, just enough to let her guard down, and once she did, she showed the most amazing of hearts. He knew he would never be full amazed at how right Brooke had been once upon a time when she said those words to him.

Still, this time around, although a huge part of him was..._proud_ of her, another was somewhat torn; torn about her reasons. He knew Peyton wanted to do what was best for that little girl, and he couldn't agree more she was going to be '_okay_' with them.

She was.

Their house wasn't a mansion but there was still room enough for Jennifer. And even if it wasn't, Lucas wouldn't have any problem making room for that little one.

It wasn't as if she was all that big anyway.

She was six years old, and even though he couldn't quite explain it either, he knew she was going to be just fine with them.

He knew Peyton had already opened her heart to that girl; he was positive she wasn't going to back off until she was sure that pretty little girl was going to be okay in a place where she was going to be loved, and valued, and simply in a place where she could be happy again with people that'd do everything in their power to take good care of her.

Lucas loved Peyton for that. Of course he did. His heart couldn't help but swell with pride at how caring and awesome his girl was. However, that wasn't why he was worried. Because, truth be told, he was...but just a little bit. He was worried, and somehow hesitating at the idea –_or more so at the fact; she had already made the decision...he loved her though because he knew she still needed his support and 'okay' to keep moving forward_– But the bottom line didn't rely in taking JJ in with them, that wasn't it.

That wasn't the problem at all.

That was the easy part in more ways than one. She seemed like quite a polite, cute little girl he wouldn't have the slightest of problems in look after, and even love. But…maybe _that_ was the problem.

He just couldn't help but worry about what was going to happen _next_. He was worried about what would happen after a week, or a month, or more when that oh-so bubbly social worker called and told them she had found a family for JJ.

He was worried because that little girl had just lost her mother, and it was only natural she was going to start seeking out for that motherly love in someone else.

Precisely in Peyton if Lucas could say so himself, and if they could actually go through with everything that meant taking her in.

He was worried about both girls' feelings; Peyton getting attach to Jennifer, as well as that little girl getting attach back at Peyton.

He was even worried about getting attach himself at her.

Maybe without real reasons yet, but he simply was worried already about the time they would have to say '_Good-bye'_.

"Come on, Blondie. Please just stop," Lucas said as soothingly as he could sound, before a moment later reaching Peyton in the bed. He then strongly –_yet carefully_– wrapped his arms protectively around her small body. "Shush," He mumbled against her hair as he pressed one fond kiss at the top of her head.

"I haven't even said anything yet," He explained letting out a small chuckle he maybe should've better keep inside for himself.

But seriously, if he was being honest, and he was, he actually wasn't all that sure about the exact reasons of those sad teardrops.

She'd been crying since the moment he came inside the room; a whole lot more softly when he first saw her, but still...she'd kept crying, and he was worried. Of course he was.

Then again, when she'd said in one fast breath what she wanted he couldn't stop the grin that started dancing goofily in his lips at her '_request'_.

He could pretend he was surprised at her words, but the truth of the matter was that he really hadn't been one bit surprised when those six little words; '_I wanna take her with us'_ slipped out of her lips.

Maybe she was crying because she was just emotional, or hormonal… who knew? In any case, he still knew better than to say his guess aloud.

He simply knew he wanted her to stop crying.

"I'm sorry," Peyton muttered so softly that Lucas almost missed it. He didn't though, and she really should have thought better before saying those words.

He definitely did _not_ want to hear her say that.

Not at all.

After shaking his head a little at her words, he pulled away gently from her so that he was seeing right into those glistered eyes of hers.

"Don't be." Lucas said simply yet firmly and really believing what he was saying. "Don't Peyt. You really got nothing to be sorry about. I just...all this..."

"I know, it's crazy," Peyton filled in for him attempting a small smile, but still Lucas' heart kept slowly breaking when her tears simply didn't stop falling.

He still tried to smile as if to give her a little bit of reassurance. "It is a little crazy," He agreed nodding his head, and had to finally really smile when she let out a chuckle at his words.

It was the truth after all. If anybody would have told them that in a week's time they would be _almost_ taking a stranger little girl into their lives they more than likely would have laugh at their faces.

It was crazy indeed.

"But I also know you," Lucas continued when his snickering died slightly. "I know just the kind of heart you've got," He said really softly reaching out his hand, and gently wiping away a few tears off her cheek with his thumb. "And you know I love every bit of it and I'd never, _ever _ask you to change that. And then, I also happen to know just how very stubborn you are; I know that when you get something inside that head of yours there is really nothing the rest of us can do against you, so…If you really think we can do it, that _we_ can help her; I guess…I guess then I'm in Peyton Scott." He said stressing playfully his last name. He knew she loved that he did it, and he also knew just how much he loved to say it as well.

He also knew he should have maybe argued a little more. Maybe tell her how he didn't have the slightest of idea about what the heck they were going to do with a six year old in their lives all so suddenly. Maybe he should have told her that people just don't go on in life taking in kids they met in the ER. Maybe he should have told her that they really didn't know Jennifer, and who knew how she was going to take the idea of live with them. He could have told her all the concerns that were plaguing his mind at that very moment, but for some reason, he chose not to.

She didn't need his own concerns on her. He was very sure she had thought about the idea a lot before saying it aloud, so instead of trouble her even more with his own doubts, he decided to better put her at ease telling her once again just how no matter what the outcome turn out to be, he was going to be there…for her, _and_ with her.

That was simply why she had him for ultimately.

"Really?" Peyton asked back, as she wiped some tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. She'd be lying if she said she was expecting him to say no. She thought still that maybe she was going to need to convince him somehow. She was glad she didn't have to do so now, although she knew convincing him into something was never harm. "We can take her with us?"

Lucas sighed at how hopeful she sounded…as if he could actually say no to her. But still after just a few seconds, he nodded his head with a small smile on his face. "Sure," He said simply. "I…We – We just gotta figure out '_how?_' now." He added kinking his eyebrow in her direction.

Peyton matched his motion but couldn't help but chuckle as she leaned forward searching for his arms once again. "You are kinda awesome, you know that?" She mumbled into his chest, and now it was his turn to chuckle.

Lucas lifted his hands hugging her tightly to his chest. "I kinda am, I know." He agreed laughing slightly before kissing her messy head. "I was serious about the '_How_' though, and I…" He paused pushing away a little from her so that their eyes could meet. "And I need you to really tell me what's in your head." He said actually serious, looking firmly into her eyes. "You can decide what you wanna tell me first," He said as he moved sitting right before her in the arm of the chair beside her bed.

At his words Peyton rolled her eyes playfully, before taking a deep breath. "How," She muttered beneath her breath and Lucas had to chuckle. She shifted looking back up at his eyes, and twisted her lips just a little. "It's not all that easy," She confessed somewhat uneasily. "Brooke says that things don't exactly work this way, you know? You can't go on to the hospital and pick your favorite orphan kid and take him home with you just because you want to, but... then she also said that the social worker…"

"Janine," Lucas filled in for her when she trailed off looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Yep," Peyton said with a smile, lowering her eyes again. "She told her how there were never enough people taking care of all these kids, so that if she definitely can't find any relatives to JJ then we'll get a chance to take care of her temporally until she can place her with a family, or a real foster home place or something, and I just…I don't know Luke," She said looking down at her lap, but she simply had to smile when he joined her in the bed once again.

Lucas pulled her to his side, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder so that she could rest her head on his chest.

"She says it helps we're married, and both with pretty awesome jobs," She whispered with a giggle before Lucas could pronounce a word.

He matched her chuckling, before looking down firmly into her eyes. He smiled fairly sadly at how they were still sparkling with unshed tears. "So if there is really no one else they could just hand her over to us?" He asked seriously, but honestly he couldn't do it any other way. It was actually a pretty big decision.

Peyton nodded her head, looking just as firmly into his eyes. "Well…that if we can get '_pre-approved_' after the social worker had looked into our lives, and after doing so she still thinks we're good enough candidates to foster care. Brooke said that part wasn't that hard. That they only need to check we are not some crazy loonies taking children just because, or because of the money. They'll check our house making sure we can have her, and I don't know… interview us as for the reasons and stuff, I guess. We'd have to go to school too," She growled playfully making Lucas laugh. "They'd teach us how to be a parent or God knows what else, and then maybe we'll have her. The first week will be like '_trial week'_. If she doesn't feel comfortable with us or us with her, they would just take her back with them, but…"

"You think it'll actually work out?" Lucas asked smiling softly in her direction.

"Yeah," Peyton replied simply tightening her hold on him for some reason. "She's been stuck in this room with me for as long as we've been here, and she is just…so lost, you know?" She said looking up at his eyes. "Her mom is not here anymore, and all of a sudden all she hears is that she can't go to her home anymore either, and they don't even care to stop and explain her '_why_'. Only that she _has_ to. I…I think I can do that; I think I can make her understand just what happened, and I really just want to make sure she's gonna be okay."

Lucas let her words sink in on him for a moment, before his smile only grew bigger. "You know you were just talking about being '_awesome_', huh?" He said playfully, running his thumb over her cheeks. "I'm proud of you, you know?" He said nodding, and didn't wait for her to answer before he was already doing so for her. "I am, _a lot_. And I…I think so too. I bet that if someone can help that girl is _you_. You know how I've told you already how awesome of a mom you are going to be, Peyt." At his words she started chuckling, and felt the need to bury her face on his chest. "What? You are." He argued jokingly before matching her chuckles.

He waited a good moment to start talking again, he just held her into his arms for some minutes, stroking her back, and dropping kisses to her head every now and again. He needed a little bit more from her though. "Now the truth," He almost stated lifting her face from his chest with his forefinger tucked under her chin.

Peyton sighed heavily before smiling sheepishly in his direction. "I am kinda freaking out a little," She confessed nodding her head. "We were supposed to get a baby in eight or so months, not a six-year-old overnight…it's…It is just a little scary," She said sincerely never losing his eyes from her.

Lucas simply stared at her for a few minutes, and although he wasn't saying anything, she knew that he simply being there for her made things seem a hell of a lot more simpler.

"I don't think that's a bad thing," Lucas spoke at last, and Peyton had to smile.

She agreed.

"I guess it is okay we are scared a little as long as we are sure of what we are doing. And we are?" He stated more than he asked, and she simply had to smile again. It wasn't lost on her how he always used '_we_' instead of just '_her_' or '_him_'; that was somehow really heartening for some reason.

They were a team in the end, and she couldn't feel any more luckier about that fact.

"Yeah," Peyton replied softly, but still with no doubt. "It can be good practice," She added with a small smirk, before looking down at her hands as she started toying with his shirt. "I just wanna help her." She confessed, and now it was Lucas who _had_ to smile.

He honestly couldn't be prouder of_ his_ girl.

"We are," Lucas promised before he leaned down pressing a small kiss to her lips. "We'll make sure she's okay, all right?"

All she could possibly do was smile and nod her head in return.

She never doubt it, but he still never stop to remind her just why she had '_chose_' him to be her husband, and the father of her babies.

He simply was the one she needed by her side at pretty much _every _moment.

She loved she knew he always was going to be there. He'd promised her so long ago, and she trusted him.

It was as simple as that.

* * *

"Board games, playing cards, your laptop, and a _bit_ of ice-cream!" Lucas sang entering the room but he stopped in his tracks when he didn't hear back any response. He lowered the huge pile of games Haley had send Peyton from his eyes so he could glance over at the room, and he couldn't help but be surprise –_good surprised though_– when his eyes immediately locked with that little girl's ones in the bed behind his wife's. She actually had a powerful stare, and she simply wouldn't look away from his eyes.

He admired that for some reason.

After a beat he shifted his look looking over at Peyton's bed, and was glad to find her soundly asleep. He was _oh-so_ sure she hadn't sleep a bit the night before but had been instead thinking endlessly about their '_little girl'_ situation as it had been so rightly named by everybody already.

"Guess she was tired after all," Lucas said a moment later looking back into Jennifer's eyes. She simply looked back at him with a little distrust but he was somewhat determined to make that hint go away pretty soon.

After all the chances of she joining their family –_if only for a little while_– where actually big.

Plus, he knew bonding with such cute little girl wouldn't harm. He was positive about that.

Lucas walked over at the side of Peyton's bed, and placed all what he had brought in the little table behind it. He then smoothed away a good bunch of Peyton's curls off her forehead, before he leaned forward pressing one font kiss there.

He thought for a moment but after just a few seconds, he retook the ice-cream he'd brought in his hands, and walked all the way at the other side of the room. "I'm glad the doctors brought you back already," Lucas noted locking eyes with the little girl. "I hope all the tests they put you through weren't all that bad."

Jennifer looked up at him thoughtfully, as if maybe thinking just how crazy he seemed. Lucas still took a seat in the chair between the two beds and never lost her green eyes from his. "Peyton here told me your name is JJ? Is that right?" He asked raising an eyebrow, and slightly looking over at Peyton's sleeping frame.

Lucas got nothing in response for a few seconds, but then she apprehensively nodded her head. He tried to look as nonchalantly as he could, but he still was maybe celebrating inwardly a little. Getting through walls was not easy; he should know that, so sometimes little things as a nod was everything, and even more of what he could have asked for in the first place.

"Mine is Lucas," He said simply reaching out his hand, and taking JJ's into his own without second thoughts. He had to smile a little when her '_This guy is crazy'_ look only grew wider but she was still smiling softly so he just had to do it as well.

Little steps were _so_ much better than no steps.

"I thought maybe you could help me with this," He said feigning being disgusted as he gestured her to the ice-cream in his hands. "I got this for Peyton, it has peanuts in there, I _can't_ stand peanuts!" He said wide-eyed fighting back a chuckle that so badly wanted to escape his throat. "Do you like peanuts?" He asked expectantly and let his head fell playfully when she slightly nodded her head. "Of course! But, I'm not crazy you know? I just can't see how someone can actually like such thingies in their ice-creams but oh well... if you do, then I guess it's okay. I'll hate to have ice-cream melt all over me anyway, so I'm glad you're here to eat it," He said playfully, already standing up from his chair and moving closer to JJ in the bed.

"Let me help you lil-rabbit," Lucas said after he put the ice-cream on the table, and helped JJ sit up a little on the bed. "This has to be our secret though, all right?" He said looking strongly into her eyes before he actually cave in and gave her the ice-cream. Playfully and everything, but he still needed to make sure she knew just what she was doing. "I don't think the nurses and your Doc are going to be too happy that I'm feeding you ice-cream. But like it is just a little bit, I think it's okay that you get it." He said as he placed a small napkin over her lap, and handed her over the ice-cream, _but_ without the spoon quite yet. "Do _not_ tell Peyton either, all right?" He warned wide-eyed but still with a goofy smile on his lips. "That ice-cream was supposed to be hers. I know that she seems really nice, and she is," He said nodding strongly as he re-took his seat. "But that is as long as you don't mess with her ice-cream," He said with a chuckle JJ hardly matched smiling in his direction, but he still kind of love it.

"Now go on. Eat a bit or else you'd be the one that ends up all sticky when that melts even more than it already has." Lucas called up and couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his lips once again at the way her big green eyes went wide, and she fast looked down at the ice-cream sticking hard the spoon into the bowl.

Lucas could only smile as she bit by bit ate her ice-cream looking over at him every so often as if to make sure he hadn't go anywhere.

"We should play something," He said a few minutes later trying to sound again as nonchalantly as he could. It was hard though; for some reason he really did care about that little one opening up to him. "What do you say, huh?" He said looking at JJ who only looked back into his eyes with confusion written all over her tiny face. "Haley sent us monopoly, and chess, and cards..." He listed as he walked his way around Peyton's bed, and towards the table he'd put all the games over. "Let's play something fun but quick too so you can sleep a little bit. I bet you are tired." He said sweetly, turning his head slightly, and sending a small wink in JJ's direction. "What do you say about cards, I know a pretty fun little game we could play. What'cha say? You in?"

JJ stayed quiet for a moment just looking into his eyes, but after just a few seconds, she nodded a little her head a few times. "Okay, cool." Lucas said with a small chuckle walking back towards her bed. He grabbed the now empty bowl of ice-cream off her hands, and with the napkin on her lap cleaned as well as he could her vanilla stained lips.

He honestly didn't want the doctors to know he had been sneaking '_forbidden_' goodies to the girls.

"Okay so this is easy," Lucas began as he settled as close to Jennifer as he could, and started shuffling the cards. "I'm gonna start unfolding the cards one by one, and all we got to do is call it every time cards with the same motifs appear, okay?" He said looking up at JJ's eyes at last. She gave him one small nod, and Lucas couldn't stop himself from smile at how cute was the way her lips were twisted.

He really hadn't had the time chance before to really look at her. Sure, he had seem her a whole lot of times before –_he'd spent the last four days hardly leaving the hospital to shower and change his clothes in the end-_ but he had never really _seen_ her. Although the skin of her face was a little bruised, it still seemed to be as soft and tender as the skin of a baby. Her eyes were really big and round, and green as the lightest of emeralds. He wasn't one to compare, of course not, but if Lucas could say so himself, he'd say hers were maybe _just_ as beautiful as Peyton's were. Her hair was blonde too, straight locks of blonde hair that fell just above her shoulders. She had a delicate pendant hanging from a thin chainlet in her neck.

He wanted to ask about it, but deep inside he knew better than to start interrogating that little one.

Or...maybe not.

"Okay, you see." Lucas said pointing out a pair of cards he had just unfold before them. "Both had hearts in them, so now is when we call them," He said nodding a little and Jennifer looked up at his eyes before matching his motion and reaching out for the cards.

She didn't have one bit of silly, and she'd certainly played the game before.

Little did she know she hadn't played it Lucas' way.

He placed his hand above JJ's just as she was pushing the cards over to her side. "You gotta answer a question before you can get the cards, and win," He explained as she lifted her face at his touch. "I'll tell you something, anything, like for example my favorite ice-cream flavor, and then you'll have to tell me yours. Deal?" He asked raising one eyebrow at Jennifer who simply stared back at him steadily as he spoke.

"Deal," She whispered at last, but oh-so quietly that Lucas almost missed it. He smiled though, and nodded his head in her direction.

They had a deal.

"All right, so let's see..." Lucas said looking up at the ceiling playfully. "Something easy, my favorite color is blue, what about yours?"

At the question, JJ's forefinger flew to her chin and she started patting it quite thoughtfully for just a couple seconds. "Blue too," She said with a small smile before after a beat adding, "But light blue," She said with her eyes fairly wide. "Like the sky in daytime."

Lucas felt as though he could only smile back at her, and nodded slowly his head. She could have just said '_Blue'_, but she chose to tell him a bit more, and in all honesty, he couldn't feel gladder about that fact.

A few more questions flew by, as what was her favorite meal, or movie, or time of the day was as Lucas kept unfolding cards on the bed. However, soon after, the questions and answers were simply coming without either of them really paying attention to the cards.

They just fell into a little conversation, that regardless the fact that she was only six, and Lucas was nearly twenty-four, felt as right and natural as if he was talking with a girl he'd known his whole life.

In that moment was when it actually snapped in him just how right it really felt what Peyton and he were doing.

"And she's also six, you know?" Lucas said with his eyes wide as if for emphasis.

JJ nodded her head at his words, and he was actually happy that her little smile hadn't gone anywhere in the time they had been playing. "Do you miss her?" She asked back and Lucas couldn't miss the little concern her voice was carrying. It saddened him fairly for some reason, but it also warmed his heart quite a bit for other.

"I do," He replied sincerely with a nod of his own. "But I know she's having fun overseas with my mom so it's okay. Plus, they are coming over for the holidays; maybe you two could play a little something while they are here, huh? Lily's pretty nice," He noted unable to hide the grin on his face.

"Yeah, maybe," JJ replied rather coyly looking down at her lap.

"She'll be seven in just a few months though." Lucas pointed out thoughtfully a moment later. He squinted his eyes looking firmly in Jennifer's direction, and had to smile at the way she narrowed her eyes as well. "What about you? You are more six or your more seven?"

JJ let out a small chuckle at his words, and Lucas simply _had _to match it. "More six," She said biting playfully her lips. "I had a birthday party two weeks ago," She said holding two of her fingers up in the air.

"That's pretty cool!" Lucas said nodding strongly, and with his eyes beyond wide. "I bet you have a lot of fun, didn't you?"

"A lot," Jennifer agreed without a bit of hesitation. "Mommy dressed me like a real ballerina," She noted with a smile that faded all too quickly when her mom's name slipped out of her lips.

Lucas smiled sadly looking over at her, but then could only brush those sad thoughts away by taking a deep breath. "I'm sure you looked beautiful, and I'm sure your Mommy did quite a good job dressing you up. You know, I really think she's looking after you some way."

"You think?" JJ asked with such hope that Lucas' heart must have broken in little pieces all over again.

"I'm sure." He said as firmly as he could possibly sound, and really believing what he'd just said.

The feeling he put into those words wasn't lost on him as well as it wasn't lost on Peyton as she slowly woke up. She'd heard the whispering, and even snickering. He was patting JJ's nose softly when her eyes fluttered open.

He'd told her earlier how she'd be an awesome mom; she really did hope he knew just how sure she was _he_ was going to be an amazing dad as well.

* * *

**AN :** Okay so _that _is how Lucas is rolling! I really didn't saw him not agreeing with Peyton. I don't think everything is going to be all that easy but I did saw him being there for her. After all he always has, hasn't he? Well...unless he was in one of those dark places but this ain't the case lol

Oh, and as a little disclaimer, I'm not a layer, nor a social worker, nor have foster cared a kid, but I've done my research and it actually isn't that hard to do it. There are a lot of kids that need the help so...yeah; I hope it doesn't seem too unrealistic they are able to take her in :)

Thanks so much for reading, and review if you like it! :)


	5. On the Road Again

**Author's Note : **Thank you for your reviews last chapter, I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you agreed. Thanks to 'Ash', almost missed you last chapter but I didn't so...Thank you! *lol*

I'm trying to get to you all one chapter of this story per week...The big scheme of things is already done (Finally! I'm not writing in the dark anymore, I finally know now _where_ this story is going, and _how_ I'm gonna get there, so...YAY for that lol  
I still gotta say... Not everything is gonna be rainbows and smiles, but we're actually getting our good share of fluff lol)

But still, since I don't have chapters pre-written of this story, get them out just _'right'_ takes me a little bit longer than with my other story but in any case, I SO can promise you all at least _one_ chapter per week if you want it that way, and continue to like it, and let me know what you think every time *hehe*

Anywho, I hope you like this chapter. It has a bit of the two things I like writing the most : LP being awesome together, and actually JJ and Peyton together as well. I'm hoping quite a few things as for their relationship (as well as JJ with Luke) so we'll see. Hope you all like it, and...**Enjoy! :)**

**On the Road Again**

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* * *

**

A sob.

A loud, heartbreaking, shrill sob had broken across the silence of her room, and woke her up soon after she had fallen asleep.

A part of Peyton was maybe expecting it; actually, she knew it would happen, she was just hoping it wouldn't.

It was strange though; the first couple of nights, maybe even the third, JJ had managed to sleep _'well' _through the night. Of course, not Peyton, not Lucas could help but notice the uneasiness of her little features as she slept, and how elaborated her breaths were, but that was all they could see then.

Now screams and inconsolable cries were what haunted that little girl's sleep. The doctors had supposedly taken her upstairs in the hospital building where some so-called specialists '_would help her deal with the aftermath of the crash'_, as well as they were doing with Peyton

Before leaving the hospital the two of them had to go through at least four sessions with a physiologist, who at least in Peyton's case, all he did was make her relive those blurry seconds of that night. She'd wonder what they exactly did with Jennifer; she was a kid, a really young child at that, and it was only natural they weren't going to make her experience that night over and over again as they had been doing with her.

She could hope so anyway.

That little girl's cries were the thing she had found herself dreading the most in her days now. She could understand her and it certainly broke her heart. She was twenty-three years old, and even so, the nightmares of that day also haunted her dreams, and even managed to upset her in really harsh ways sometimes.

She could only imagine how it was for JJ. What came to her mind every time that she tried to put herself in that girl's mind was something enough to put her to tears just like her.

'_Make it all okay'_

That was something Nathan had said to her the other day when he came to visit her –_them_– at the hospital. He'd said how she was the perfect person to make everything okay for that little girl again. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't brush off his comment in some way, but she would also be a liar if she said she didn't try to believe in his words.

That was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to find that _'something' _that was enough to pull that girl back together.

Yet, every time that she broke into sobs at nights, Peyton realized finding that so-called something was going to be a whole lot harder than she'd expected once.

The doctors, and the nurses, and even Brooke had already scolded her –_several times actually_– for getting out of her own bed and crawling deep into Jennifer's drawing her closer to her body until she calmed down and realized that she was in fact okay, and that it all was just an awful nightmare.

They've told Peyton how she needed to take things '_easy_'...that it wasn't just about her, and she knew they were right, she knew she should. Yet, if things were reverse, if Jennifer wasn't the one in that bed but her own kid, the less she would want –_given the case she couldn't be herself there for her little girl_– was that at least someone would.

Peyton wasn't sure when she'd become that someone; all knew was that she had.

And surprisingly enough she was okay with that.

"Hey, just look at me," She said firmly, yet softly looking down at JJ in her arms. She tried forcing her gently to look up at her eyes with her forefinger tucked under her chin. JJ fought her at first, but it only took her a couple of seconds to oblige. "It's okay, I got you," Peyton said as their eyes locked at last, and her sobs died down a little. Both their breathings went back to normal after just a few moments, and all that was left of her outburst was Jennifer's body heaving up and down steadily against Peyton's, and the tears that stained not only JJ's cheeks, but Peyton's too for some reason.

A few moments past by and JJ didn't moved one inch from her spot in Peyton's arms, and certainly, Peyton didn't have any intention to let her go either in spite of all the looks she was receiving from the hospital staff.

All in all, she honestly couldn't care about them.

All she cared was that bit by bit, the little girl wrapped into her arms was feeling a little bit safer, and that was all that mattered.

"It was Mommy," Jennifer whispered into Peyton's chest, and all Peyton could do to keep herself together was take one long breath before she even figure out what she was going to say.

That was the one constant of her nightmares, and everybody that had heard her knew that very well. She wouldn't stop calling out for her mom between tears and screams. Her eyes were always so tightly closed until she felt Peyton's arms around herself.

It was tricky, and painful, and really unfair; JJ was still too young to understand the _'reasons'_ of what happened, but in any way she was old enough not to be oblivious about everything as a younger child would.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry baby," Was all Peyton could say bending her head down slightly, and kissing with a lump on her throat JJ's forehead.

Pulling away a little, she reached her hand out and wiped away slowly some tears off the girl's cheeks. JJ's glistered eyes stared back at her with such sadness, that holding back her own tears was starting to become quite a hard task for Peyton to do.

"A li'l bit better now?" She asked hopeful when soft sniffles and a few hiccups were all she could hear from Jennifer's lips.

After a beat, JJ nodded her head a little; not much, barely visible but since her head was pressed against her own chest, Peyton could clearly feel it, and... It was a nod, little or not it still was a nod that caused Peyton to let out a breath she hadn't even known she had been holding.

"I'm not leaving you alone, all right?" She said firmly, yet soft enough so that only JJ could hear her. She ran tenderly her thumb over the apple of her cheek, and not for a split second lost JJ's eyes from hers. "I'm right here with you, and nothing's gonna happen to you; I promise." She said nodding her head a bit. "You don't have anything to be scared about; I'll be right here, and I'll just hold you, okay?" She stated with a small smile when JJ nodded again in her direction.

"I'm not letting you go."

* * *

For as long as she could remember those first seconds of the day; the ones when the sunlight hit her eyes letting her know just how a new day had begun and all that was left for her to do was '_wake up_', had always been seconds she had hated. It was just something that never got easier; how was she supposed to let go of the peace and idealism of her dreams in order to face the so-called _'new day'_?

However, for the past year and so, she had actually found something that made those few firsts seconds more '_bearable_' at least. That something was Lucas. Finding herself waking up next to him was something that in a way let her know how that everything that was in her dreams could actually come to life if only she was smart enough to see it.

For the last sixteen days, only two times he'd been the first someone she'd seen as her eyes first fluttered open in the morning. It felt strange, yet that new first sight wasn't all that bad, and she was actually growing used to like it too.

This morning had been a little different though; it wasn't some thin, straight blonde locks what she first saw, but instead, some big green eyes staring firmly into hers as she awoke.

JJ's hands were tenderly cupping her face, and for Peyton's own surprise, she didn't show any sign of wanting to move them even after her eyes were opened. Both her forefingers were somehow stroking her face as if she was studying her features. It felt nice for some reason; having that little girl's touch in herself wasn't odd, or awkward. It just was, and it was nice.

"I thought you were never going to wake up," Jennifer noted in something just above a whisper; her eyes focused in all and every line of Peyton's face.

At the innocence in JJ's words, Peyton couldn't help the smile that little by little graced on her lips. She lifted her own hands, and matched JJ's motion, placing them at both sides of that little girl's face, and without really thinking, dropping a soft kiss right in the middle of her forehead. "Did I really sleep that much?" She asked sounding rather coyly, but still wearing that small smile on her face.

Peyton had learn soon enough how if she wanted JJ to have at least a little bit of sleep at night, and if she wanted to have _any_ sleep herself for that matter; the smartest idea was to spent the night with that little girl snuggled into her arms. It helped JJ, as well as it also helped Peyton knowing that if the girl was one to have a nightmare, at least the closeness will let her know she wasn't alone.

"Yep," JJ said sighing; her eyes meeting Peyton's for a split second before she looked down and her tiny hands fell from Peyton's face.

That wasn't a bad sign though, and Peyton knew that much. She let her own hands fell a little, and instead wrapped them around JJ's back, drawing her even closer to her body. She knew it should feel strange, she knew it shouldn't feel right, or natural, yet it did. She wasn't sure when exactly it had happened, but JJ wasn't a stranger for her anymore, and if she were one to say it, she would dare to say she wasn't a stranger for JJ either.

Maybe the closeness came from pain, from the fact that the two of them had lost that _someone_ that made their lives great and special once upon a time.

Whatever the case was, Peyton wasn't one to argue reasons; instead, she was just going to keep doing what she had been doing, and hopefully…_just_ hopefully, that would help them both eventually.

"Sorry then, rabbit." Peyton said softly, and still smiling when JJ looked up at her a little, resting her own forehead against Peyton's.

"Can I tell you a secret?" JJ asked with her big green eyes fixed firmly on Peyton's.

She was feeling a little taken aback at the question, but she still managed a nod. "Sure," She said simply.

It was really a no-brainer; of course she could tell her anything.

"Miss Addy. She came to see me yesterday." JJ said nodding her head a bit. She was well aware Peyton had also seen her; she'd been in the room after all.

"Your teacher?" Peyton stated more of what she asked, kinking slightly her eyebrows.

JJ kept nodding her head at her words. "Yep," She said twisting her lips a little. "She told me she was going to make sure I got a new Mommy and Daddy, but…" Her voice faded slowly and all Peyton could do was offering her a sad smile as she gently sat them both up in the bed.

Never losing her hold on JJ, Peyton allowed her to rest her body against her chest, as she unconsciously started smoothing her hair off her face so that she was looking down properly into her eyes. "But you don't want that?" She asked actually knowing already the answer.

"Nope," JJ replied without hesitation, shaking her head lightly. "I don't think Mommy would like that,"

Peyton's lips twisted a little at the last part of her statement. After sighing heavily, she tucked her finger under JJ's chin, and lifted her face so that the two of them were looking into each other's eyes. "I think your Mommy would like that you are in a place where you get people to love you. I really don't think that's bad, and I actually think that's what she would want." She said giving JJ a reassuring nod. "You also need to know that because you get a new Mommy that doesn't mean your Mommy is ever going to stop being your Mommy. I can promise you that."

"You can?" JJ asked back, twisting her lips as in disbelief.

"I can, and I do." Peyton said firmly. "I promise."

Took her a couple seconds, but at last JJ nodded her head with a small smile Peyton simply had to match.

She'd grown to love that little smile. It didn't come all too often, and when it did, it was simply priceless.

"And I'm going with you," JJ said a moment later looking questionably up at Peyton's eyes.

"Yep," Peyton replied simply with a nod of her head. "With me, and Lucas; we'll take care of you until they can find you that new Mommy and Daddy." She explained and looked down expectantly at the way JJ mused over the idea with her lips twisted, and her eyes just a little narrowed.

"Why?" JJ asked actually seriously, looking up and fixing her eyes strongly onto Peyton's.

At the question, it was Peyton's turn to twist her lips, and widened her eyes. The three of them, plus JJ's teacher, the social worker, and a shrink had talked all together with the little girl letting her know everything that was going to happen in the next few weeks.

JJ had asked a few questions, she certainly have; yet she'd never asked '_Why_'.

That was a little surprising for Peyton for some reason, but still she fixed it with a sheepish smile on her lips, and a small shrug of her shoulders. "Because we want to,"

It was simple, yet it was the truth.

She wouldn't say anything different.

* * *

"What about the bedroom? And the kitchen? And Haley said something about the laundry room!"

Lucas couldn't think in another moment he'd wanted to chuckle _so_ badly, but in all honestly, he simply couldn't do it.

She looked _so_ serious. Actually concerned and moved about every little thing that was about to happen, and that was happening already. Maybe also, at how _fast_ everything was happening.

After a lot of paperwork, exactly four meetings, _a lot_ of Brooke's diligence, and one '_test'_ home inspection they had been given _'Green light'_ to take Jennifer with them from the moment she was released from the hospital, and until a '_better environment'_ could be found.

Both of them tried not to feel insulted at the way they called things, but given the circumstances, they were taking what they could get. Officially, they weren't JJ's foster parents quite yet; apparently, before they could be formally certificated as such, they needed to be trained by DCFS, so until they go through those lessons –_together_– Jennifer couldn't be officially theirs...if they could even called it that way.

All in all, what was really important was that –_unlicensed and all_– they were still taking JJ home with them, and that had been the point all along.

One thing still troubled Lucas though; they could take her back at whatever moment, and without really asking. Even though she was going with them, she was still in DCFS's custody, and it wasn't as if he was complaining, but for him it felt more as if the court office was doing_ them_ a favor instead of the other way around.

The first four weeks –_that if they even last that long with Jennifer_– they would have a visit to their home with JJ's social worker every other week, and at least once a month they had to take the little girl with a shrink; as if they would ones to drive her crazy or something.

Truth be told, Lucas knew things weren't as bad as he told himself they were. He just hadn't expected to be so much red-tape when they were supposedly doing a good thing.

In the end, a part of him did understood how it all was in Jennifer's behalf, and because she was still so young, and because of the way she so suddenly became an orphan things were maybe taken a little bit more seriously than it should. In a way he was even glad they cared enough to make sure they were doing what was right for that tiny blonde girl.

Still...One thing was understanding it, and a complete different was agreeing.

How couldn't they don't see straight away how awesome they were going to be to that girl?

In any case, a whole of a lot more came after Janine told them both they had finally the consent from DCFS to take JJ in with them. Mainly, the one that concerned Lucas the most for the last few days actually, was all the things JJ would actually need.

He really never imagined just how many things taking care of a six-year-old meant; from baby proofing the house –_it didn't mattered at all she wasn't a baby anymore_– to how their schedules were going to be once the girl was living with them.

Actually that had been one of the easiest parts; for starters, both Peyton and JJ had strict orders from the doctors to do as less as possible for at least the next couple of weeks. A couple more for Peyton in reality, but for all their sakes, they'd rather ignore that little part for the time being.

All things considered, at least Lucas had the little satisfaction to know that Peyton wasn't going to be completely alone cooped up in the house for the next few weeks.

Not that he actually expect her to follow the doctor's instructions to the letter, but still...he could always hope she'd behave.

And it all felt kind of right; she and JJ needed to take care of themselves, and in his eyes, it didn't seem wrong at all how they would be taking care of one another as well.

Well, that of course after him who was officially in charge of the twenty-four seven care of those two girls, who thanks to _him_, would be _'danger free'_ in the new baby-proofed Scott household.

Ultimately, he had gotten to do the job he would had to do anyway in a few month's time, so although it took him forever _–even with Nathan's and all the guys from the River Court help–_ he was glad he'd done it sooner rather than later, and for such sweet girl as he'd grown to know Jennifer was.

Now the problem was in convincing Peyton just how he had actually done the job right.

Who knew he'd married a really, _really_ controlling woman?

Actually, he did know, he actually liked her bossy side; it was just that sometimes she embrace it a little too much.

"Everything's checked," Lucas said as calmly as he could, holding back the grin that so badly wanted to escape.

She actually looked quite adorable when she worried over things she honestly didn't have too.

"You sure?" Peyton asked again, looking quite uncertainly into his eyes.

At her words, all what Lucas could do was nod his head, and moved to the bed with her. "Everything's ready so _you _can go back home, and for JJ to feel just as if our home was hers as well. I promise." He said firmly, kissing the top of her head.

Peyton nodded, and couldn't stop herself from smile. It was weird, she didn't remember being that nervous in quite a long time already; it was just a mix of emotions that were washing over her body and it just weren't all that easy to keep in check.

She was glad though Lucas hadn't let her freak out that much in the course of the last few days.

He had been pretty awesome actually, and she of course was one to thank him properly once she got the chance.

"Thank you," Peyton said looking up into his eyes. It was still pretty amazing how effortless he seemed to be able to put her back at ease.

"You're welcome, Blondie," Lucas replied simply, kissing yet again her forehead. All in all, he was pretty proud of her, and of how well she was keeping herself together. "Now," He said locking eyes firmly with her, as he sat behind her in the bed, drawing her body as closer to himself as he could. "How are _you_? Ready to go home?" He asked in that _oh-so_ serious tone he knew, just as well as she did, that she couldn't lie to.

Twisting her lips slightly she let out a breath looking back right into his eyes. "I am okay," She said with a small shrug of her shoulders. "I can't tell you how happy I am we are actually leaving this place..."

"But..." Lucas filled in knowingly when her voice faded.

Peyton looked up sheepishly at him, and took yet another breath before replying. "And I am happy, I know I am, but I just...it's silly, I...I feel like I'm gonna cry all of a sudden, and I just don't get it, and it's...I don't know, it's frustrating," She said forming a pout on her lips, Lucas _so_ had to kiss.

"I love you, you know that?" He whispered against her lips, and had to smile to himself when he felt her smiling too.

"I do," Peyton replied simply nodding her head a little bit. "I– Oh God!"

"What?" Lucas asked back pulling away from her, and not hiding one bit the sudden concern his voice was carrying. She closed her eyes tightly, and he wasn't liking that one bit.

"Food Lucas!" Peyton cried urgently reaching out her hand, and smacking his arm – softly but still.

"What about it?" Lucas asked back in that same shrill tone she was using, while he mockingly rubbed his '_sore_' arm

"She's _six _Luke, she can't eat the stuff we do, can't she? She needs...I don't know, green veggies, and stuff, doesn't she?" Peyton asked rather uncertainly, twisting curiously her lips to her right side.

At her words, Lucas sighed and shook his head. He honestly didn't know. "How about I go grab Haley and take her to the grocery store with me? Jamie's six after all too, right?" He said flashing a grin at how fast thinker he was.

Peyton matched his grin nodding her head quite strongly. It faded away a little too quickly though, and Lucas just knew she'd gone back to worrying. "Then you should go already, they should be done with her in just a little while, and I honestly would like the ride home," She said trying hard not to smile since she really wanted to make her point.

"Noted" Lucas said only half-serious, leaning over and kissing her forehead goodbye. "It won't take me longer, and Peyton," He called up making her meet his eyes. "Everything's gonna be okay, all right."

* * *

"This isn't easy for you either, is it?" Lucas asked softly enough so that Peyton was the only one that could hear him.

Her breaths, as well as JJ's, had grown elaborated from the moment they stepped outside the hospital's lobby.

"No," Peyton said simply with a sigh, closing her eyes for a moment. Unconsciously, she tightened her hold on JJ whose eyes where just as tightly closed as hers were.

She shook her head a few times before scooping the little girl up into her arms. Closing halfway her eyes, she tried to ignore the look Lucas sent in her direction; but she simply couldn't help herself. And besides, she wasn't all that heavy anyway.

JJ's eyes stayed closed unlike Peyton's, but still the moment she wrapped her little arms all so tightly around Peyton's neck, she knew she'd done just the right thing.

She was scared. And Peyton certainly wasn't one to blame her.

So was she for some reason too.

"Hey Jay," Peyton said softly pushing away enough so that she could see JJ's face. She smoothed off her face a few locks of hair, and tucked them gently behind her ear.

After just a few moments, JJ's eyes slowly started opening up. She looked immediately into Peyton's, and it definitely broke her heart the fear she was seeing in them. "We are gonna be okay buddy." Peyton reassured her as soothingly and nicely as she could sound, running her thumb over JJ's cheek tenderly. "Luke here is an awesome driver, I can promise you that. We are going to be home in just a little while, and we are going to be _okay_. We'll be with you the whole time."

JJ looked back apprehensively at her for more than a couple minutes, before she burrowed her head back in Peyton's shoulder, and slightly nodded her head.

Peyton took a deep breath herself before nodding her head a little too shifting her eyes so that she was looking right into Lucas'. "It's okay, we can go now." She said managing a small smile in his direction.

Lucas matched her smile, although it was more like a sad smile than it was a happy one, but still...it was a smile nonetheless. He then opened the passenger's door of his car, and took JJ in his arms for just a moment as Peyton got herself into the car.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't glad how the transition hadn't been all that difficult from Peyton's arms to his own; JJ simply did the transfer with her eyes closed, but still wrapping her arms around his neck just as tightly as she had them wrapped around Peyton's just a few seconds before.

"I won't let anything else happen to you," Lucas promised strongly into JJ's hair before he placed her into the car right next to Peyton.

Bit by bit JJ's eyes fluttered open, but as soon as she acknowledged Peyton at her side, she closed them back again as the blonde pulled her to her side once more.

"You okay," Peyton whispered pulling her onto her lap, and stroking softly her little back.

"You are, I promise."

* * *

**AN :** The accident had to kick in eventually, right? I'm not a psychologist, but I actually did saw an eight-year-old boy after a pretty bad car accident...let's say it just was pretty much _sad_. So...I dunno! JJ is _'theirs'_ for the time being, what do you think it's gonna happen now? :)

Oh, and as –_another_–little disclaimer, where I live DCFS is in charge of everything related with kids, and adoptions, and foster care, and stuff…I'm not sure in North Carolina. I think it's DSS there, or DCF...I'm not sure, so bear with me, all right? :)

And thank you, thank you so much for reading! **:)**


	6. Testing 123

**Author's Note : **All right, so apparently the chapters to this story are starting to come out a little too long; I just start writing, and then can't stop until I have covered everything that I once envisioned for the chapter. Is that a bad thing? Would you rather shorter chapters? I'm not sure. I'm usually not too picky about reading short or long chapters, so I dunno! What do you say? Should I cut them half better?

Anywho, so please let me know about that. What's important I guess is that here is *at last* a brand new update! This story is actually growing on me, so I hope it is in you all too hehe!** Enjoy! :)**

**Testing 1-2-3**

**

* * *

**

Logic, and reason, and even other people... they all could tell her what to do, what was right, what was _that_ that she was supposed to do, but as far as Peyton was concerned, none of those things made any sense in her mind anymore.

She had been leading a life she pretty much loved for the past months; she hadn't asked for anything more, yet it had been given to her..._twice_.

And she simply couldn't complain about it.

For the last half an hour they had been sitting in those very same porch stairs she had sat so many times before. She had sat there with Lucas once upon a time when the idea of being married to him didn't even cross her mind, and had it crossed, it would have probably felt as the craziest of thoughts.

Yet, it hadn't felt so crazy in a very long time already.

They had also sat there not too long ago…_'supposedly'_ sinking in what their lives were about to become in only a few months' time.

Being sitting there again, not alone, not just with Lucas, but also with someone else's little girl on her lap had never, not for a split second crossed Peyton's mind as something she'd do in a near future.

She was sure the thought hadn't crossed either Lucas' mind, and maybe because of that she wasn't taking for granted that goofy smile that was dancing on his lips as he hold _them_ both close to his body.

The ride home had been everything _but_ easy. It had been restless, and even though going from the hospital to their house couldn't take any longer than eleven minutes, it had still felt like forever.

Mostly for JJ, but also for Peyton; having that little girl literally shaking against her own body, and holding onto her as if for dear life hadn't been one bit easy for her to deal with. JJ's tiny arms had been wrapped around her body the whole time, and a whole lot more tightly than Peyton had ever imagined a girl her age could hold.

It had got to her. It certainly did. Especially the way she unconsciously trembled until the moment Lucas pulled over his car on their driveway, and scooped her out of it into his arms.

Peyton had to make herself smile at how tightly both her arms and legs were wrapped all around Lucas' body.

He had been taken a little aback at the way JJ did so all too quickly; Peyton clearly saw the look of confusion in his face when he first took the girl into his arms, but then it only took him a short moment to realize JJ was somehow just finding that comfort she genuinely needed in his arms.

Lucas had then hold her back just as tightly – Or well, maybe not _that_ tightly, but still tight enough to let JJ know wordlessly how he simply wasn't going anywhere.

Peyton had heard him whispering really softly into her hair how she was okay now as he rocked her a little on his spot.

It was a little surprising though; Peyton had always thought how she certainly wouldn't like the slightest of bits the person who even dared to hug Lucas the way JJ hugged him at that moment, but...in any case, she couldn't help but be just glad she was doing so.

JJ didn't really know them yet, but she still trusted Lucas, and that was enough to bring a genuine smile to Peyton's lips.

She knew just how good it felt having his arms around her body, so she was glad JJ was feeling that too.

It just never failed to give her that..._safe _feeling.

She honestly could only wish for that little girl to feel safe again, and she was positive there was no other better place than Lucas' arms for that task.

Who knew she'd ever be okay with _her_ man holding _oh-so_ tightly another '_woman_'?

She was more than okay with it anyway and that was what mattered.

JJ's breathing was still a little sharp when Peyton took her back into her arms, so after not really thinking about, she'd decided they could just wait a little longer outside their house until JJ had calmed down a little bit more, and for real.

It had actually worked out; and not only for JJ, but for her, and for Lucas too.

It was a little weird; not a real word between either of them had really been shared, yet Peyton knew she wouldn't trade that very moment for the world.

Sometimes the things that really mattered didn't come from words or big speeches, but from deeds, and simple things as just '_being there'_.

He'd thought he would have to wait a few good months before really seeing with his eyes how good of a mom Peyton was going to be; a part of him was glad he didn't have to. He hated the ways in which JJ had happened to their lives, but he couldn't for the life of him, hate the fact that she was there snuggled peacefully in his wife's arms.

He hadn't really seen them together before...not the way they were at that moment anyway. He loved how little by little JJ's features softened in Peyton's arms, and how her eyes went from tightly shut, to simply closed.

Her breathing had gone back to normal after just a few moments, and her cheeks were even a little pink, unlike the awful pale they were when Lucas had first held her.

It was scary, especially since it happened _so_ fast, but in any way he could ever regret it; that little girl was already in his heart, and for one reason or the other, he wouldn't have it any other way.

"I think they are gonna think we stole her," Lucas noted trying with all his might to hide that hint of tease his voice was carrying.

Peyton growled a little at his words, but after rolling her eyes –_just a little bit though_– she lifted her head from his shoulder so that she was meeting his eyes. "Who? The neighbors I care _so _deeply about?" She asked fairly sarcastically although she was hoping JJ in her arms wouldn't catch it.

She didn't though. At least not seemingly as she bit-by-bit opened her eyes at the sound of their voices.

After sending a small smile in Lucas' direction, Peyton lowered her head now aiming to meet JJ's eyes. "Hi," She almost cooed not taking the smile off her face for the slightest of seconds.

She wasn't sure how much a little smile could help; but she sure as hell was hoping it helped at least a little.

"Told ya we were going to be okay," Peyton said, letting out a small chuckle Lucas matched effortlessly. After a beat, he leaned over enough so that he could catch sight of JJ's eyes as well.

JJ looked up at his eyes for a moment, and then back at Peyton's. "I'm sorry," She said rather softly, her lips were twisted quite uneasily as she let out a deep breath.

Peyton was just about to tell her how she didn't have anything to be sorry about when Lucas sent her one of those '_looks'_. So instead of begin, she simply closed her mouth again, and let him do the talk.

He'd always been way better than her with words anyway.

"What are you sorry about, huh Pretty Girl?" Lucas asked looking down steadily into JJ's eyes, and in a tone of voice Peyton wasn't really used to hear him talking with.

"I don't know," JJ replied only a few seconds later, shrugging her shoulders uncomfortably. "For being a baby I guess,"

"Oh, honey, you weren't being a baby; we were just a bit scared. That's all," Peyton hurried to explain although her voice stayed soft, and quite tender. She then sat up JJ properly on her lap so all their eyes could meet as they should. "And it is okay. There really is nothing wrong with being afraid sometimes, is it Luke?" She asked turning to look at him with her eyebrows kinked.

"Nope, not at all," Lucas said, playfully shaking his head.

Peyton then shifted her eyes back at JJ and shook her own head as well. "Nothing wrong," She reassured her simply, patting gently JJ's tiny nose with her forefinger.

JJ smiled just a little bit nodding her head at Peyton's words. "I guess," She said but at the look Peyton gave her, she tried to fix it smiling quite sheepishly now. "Okay, not wrong," She said with the tiniest of chuckles as she rested her head back on Peyton's shoulder.

Peyton first looked down at JJ, and then up at Lucas' eyes, and simply couldn't not smile.

Maybe they would be all right after all.

"But..." JJ spoke softly again, breaking them from their quiet stare. When she was sure she had both grown-ups' attention she continued. "I still don't like to be scared," She confessed quietly and in all honesty, not Lucas, not Peyton, could find just the right words to say back at her.

Truth be told, they'd give anything to find something that could help them _all_ stop being scared of life and living.

Lucas then let out a sigh, and simply plastered a smile on his face. "Then we'll work on that," He said trying to sound as eager as he could sound for that girl. "Now...How about we go inside?" He said gesturing both to the front door of their home. "I'll show you your room, and I'll also feed you both cause I'm sure you are starving," He said looking up at Peyton with a knowing look. He was positive she was hungry, and _really_ craving for some food that wasn't made by hospital staff, and brought to her by nurses.

Being completely honest with himself, so was he. Hospital food wasn't his forte either.

He would certainly miss the pudding though.

"Want to come inside with us now?" Peyton asked too looking down with a smile at JJ's eyes. "I am kinda hungry," She admitted coyly yet rather playfully.

JJ offered her a smile as she also nodded her head. She was _maybe_ a little hungry too. "Yeah," She said simply, yet by the time she'd finished saying the word Lucas was already standing up himself from the steps, and in one fast move, he lifted JJ from Peyton's lap and placed her down on her feet right before the door. She stood there quietly for just a moment as Lucas helped Peyton up from the steps as well, and then the two of them stood behind her.

It was her own home; the one she had been living for over a year now, but even so, Peyton was feeling a little too nervous standing there. More than likely it was because of JJ.

Actually, of course it was because of JJ.

Because of the fact of been there, in _her_ home, _with_ that little girl.

In that very moment the whole idea seemed surreal in her mind, yet it wasn't. It _was_ real. Everything that was happening was real and in more than one way, it was just snapping in her just how very real it was.

They now got JJ. She was in their lives, and hopefully she'd stay for as long as she needed to stay.

They knew that if they only did everything right from now on, and for whatever time it was necessary, they could make that so-called difference in that little girl's life.

Help her somehow to get that '_normal_' life they knew well she deserved.

One in which they will at least have that quiet satisfaction of knowing they'll helped, if only a little bit.

"Let's go, li'l rabbit," Peyton said with quite a smile, resting her hands over JJ's shoulders, and pushing her a little into the house.

Lucas held the door open for the two of them to come inside and had to smile to himself at the sight. He was certainly loving how protective and caring Peyton was towards JJ. He loved the way the girl looked up at Peyton before stepping into the house, but as soon as Peyton offered her that little smile she often offered to _him_, and him only, the girl looked back down with the same smile dancing on her lips.

Things weren't going to be easy. He knew that maybe a little too well, but he still couldn't care. It was strange, bringing someone else's child into your life, but it also felt right. It felt as if that was simply what they were '_meant_' to do, and surprisingly enough, it felt a hell of a lot more than just _'right'_.

He stepped inside the house closing the door behind him, but not for a split second he took his eyes off of Peyton and JJ.

Both of their eyes were quite wide for some reason. He really didn't understand why. If well it was true he'd done '_some_' changes, it wasn't really that much.

He hoped though their wide eyes were because they liked it, and felt comfortable, and not the other way around.

Brooke had pretty much ordered him to buy balloons –_plenty of them_– and a big '_Welcome Home'_ sign he'd hanged at the end of the living room for the two of them. He really hadn't been living in his house for the last couple of weeks either, so maybe he'd hanged the sign for himself too. It just really hadn't been _'home'_ without Peyton around.

In all honesty, there were no words enough he could say to express just how glad he was she was finally home.

Finally home _with_ him.

JJ…well, she was simply the coolest sidekick.

He then looked over at Peyton again, and had to smile at how her face expression hadn't changed one bit since the three of them came inside.

What she felt at that moment, at their house again felt just a little weird; the last time she had been there had been exactly seventeen nights ago, but for so much more than just the obvious reasons, it felt for her as if she hadn't been there in years.

She loved though all those little things she could see Lucas had done; there wasn't one untidy spot in their living room. Unlike a regular day, all and every of his books were tidy placed on the bookshelf. The remote control was right in the center of the coffee table, and not a single crumb was there for her to see. The sign was maybe a little crooked to one side, but she still was quite moved by everything.

It definitely felt good being back at her home and have that feeling of things going back to '_normal_' at last.

However, the allegedly _normal_ feeling didn't last all that long; as soon as her eyes traveled a little down, and caught sight of JJ's eyes looking over at every spot of their house, she realized going back to normal wasn't really in their upcoming plans.

She was okay with that though. It had been her –well, _their _choice after all. Either way the point was that they had decided to look after her as a real parent would; nobody had forced them into it, nobody had made them do something they didn't want.

They just went for it.

Whether they were ready or not, she was with them now, and she was theirs to take care of and love.

Peyton wasn't sure why but she simply knew neither would be a hard thing for her to do.

"Hey, so what do you say?" Peyton said after shaking her head a little as though pulling herself out of her thoughts. She crouched down and rested her hands at both sides off JJ's body. Being completely honest with herself, taking off the smile she was wearing seemed nearly impossible.

It was a combination of feelings, she was sure that if she was asked she probably wasn't going to be able to explain it, but she was. She was simply happy.

"You are going to be staying here with us for a little while so we gotta make sure you like it," Peyton explained raising a little her eyebrows as in anticipation. "Do you?"

JJ thought over the question for just a couple seconds before her head started moving up and down a few times. She was actually smiling, but not just _smiling_, Peyton could tell that, and she was sure Lucas could too; she was smiling for real and that was simply the nicest of feelings for some reason. "Yeah," JJ said simply, not stopping her motion with her head. "It's as if you are gonna have a party," She added with her eyes quite wide looking over at the balloons that were set at every corner of the room, and down the hallway as well.

Peyton smiled sincerely nodding her head at her words; it looked indeed as if they were hosting a party. Just as she was about to reply JJ's comment, she saw Lucas out of the corner of her eye letting out a breath. At that, she let out a small chuckle of her own, and turned her head looking over at him. She sent him a knowing wink and he simply had to smile.

He couldn't hide just how much he actually loved she knew him so much. He'd been nervous, he certainly had, scared out of his mind for saying the less. Yet, now, with both girls standing at his living room, all of them safe and sound, and even better with smiles painted on their faces, he simply knew they would be all right.

All of them.

"It does," Peyton agreed at last, shifting so that she was seeing right into JJ's eyes again. She patted her nose with her forefinger simply because; it was maybe a little weird, but she really loved that tiny nose of hers, and how soft it always was. "Today is just the three of us, but this Thursday we are all going to Lucas' little brother house for a mini-party they are making so all our family can meet _you_ properly. You think you'd like that?" She asked raising her eyebrows playfully. "You like parties?" She asked again before JJ could reply, but a lot more softly. It was a simple question, but it held a lot behind of it for some reason. Peyton wanted to know her. All of her as strange as that sounded.

"Sure," JJ said nodding her head. "Parties are fun, right?" She asked rather uncertainly and all Peyton could do was smile and nod her head.

"We'll make sure you have fun, pretty girl," Lucas chimed in, finally finding the words on himself to say.

"Yeah," Peyton agreed simply wearing a soft smile on her face. She stood up slowly from the floor, and at doing so reached her hand down for JJ to take. "I'll take you to meet the rest of the house, okay?" She asked just as JJ had taken her hand.

The little girl nodded her head looking up at Peyton, and then after a beat looked over at Lucas. "Thank you," She said really softly, yet hearable enough by the two of them.

Why she was thanking him was not so clear for either of them, yet, when she said the words, a lump formed in Lucas' throat for some reason. He swallowed it hard anyway, and after a moment simply put back a smile on his face. "Let's go," He said trying really to sound firmly, but more so happily. "We haven't even showed you your room quite yet."

* * *

"She's nervous,"

Peyton bit her bottom lip playfully and closed her eyes for a moment at Lucas' statement. She knew he was right. She'd been standing by the doorway of JJ's makeshift bedroom for a couple minutes before Lucas appeared behind her.

JJ hadn't notice her yet, so she simply stood there seeing her putting all so carefully her clothes at one side of the bed, and smoothing them slightly before walking to the settee by the window.

She sat there rather awkwardly, but in any case, none of them could blame her. Having a new pair of little feet sauntering around their house was also something they were just beginning to get used to.

They had always been the ones doing the noise; it could well be Peyton and her –_very, very loud_–music, or Lucas in their bedroom typing insanely fast to the point of –_almost_–drive Peyton crazy. Now there was this other little person's hums, and small sounds echoing through the house, and in spite of everything, whatever awkwardness that should be felt, it wasn't like that, it felt heartwarming for more than one reason.

Having JJ there with them was maybe a chance of having that '_glimpse_' to the life they were supposed to have.

All of them; from the two of them and the family they knew they'd have someday soon, to JJ and the new family she'd get soon enough if they could say so themselves.

Anyhow his statement didn't apply to JJ _only_, and Peyton knew that herself pretty well. She was fairly nervous too. She knew she wanted it all with Lucas. She did. There was not the slightest of doubts in that. Yet... just as JJ needed, Peyton would also probably need just a little more time to get past that sudden '_edginess_'.

"Yeah," Peyton replied softly at last, leaning back a little in Lucas' arms. She looked up at his eyes, and shook her head just a moment later. "Are you gonna say goodnight?" She asked actually serious taking him a little aback.

Where had gone all her softness?

In any case, Lucas simply nodded his head looking right into her eyes.

Peyton matched his motion as she pulled away from him. "Then go," She all but ordered, gesturing him with her head towards the bedroom. "I'll go in when you get out," She elaborated smirking just a little bit at the way he was looking back at her.

That confusion was priceless.

"And... We're not doing it together?" Lucas asked quite softly, and _almost_ pouting.

"Nuh, uh," Peyton replied simply, yet goofily shaking her head from side to side. "We ain't tucking her in _together_," She said pointedly, and she could've sworn Lucas' jaw dropped a little.

"Why not?" He asked again letting his eyes fell into a squint. He was just confused. Why couldn't they just tuck her in together? They'd done pretty much _everything_ else that way.

"We're not there _yet_," Peyton explained simply, and rather nonchalantly. "Go get me when you are done with her. Oh, and Luke," She called widening her eyes a bit. "_Be nice_, she's just a little girl," She said all _but _serious really fighting back a chuckle.

At her words, Lucas then simply stood there with no words to say back, as she playfully patted his chest, and walked away in their bedroom's direction. He really didn't get her, JJ was just a little girl, she'd said so herself.

And in all honesty, Peyton wasn't completely sure what she'd done it either.

Maybe she just didn't want to feel it _all_ more real than it already was.

It took Lucas only a few minutes to walk back into their bedroom and she simply had to laugh at such cute pout he was still wearing. She didn't take the time for more explanations though, but as soon as he was a little further into the room, she just stopped doing what she was doing in her laptop, and exited the room with a goofy smirk on her lips.

She just _really_ couldn't explain it.

"Are you ready to bed?" Peyton asked fairly softly as she entered JJ's bedroom. She knew it was needlessly she asked the question; of course she was ready for bed. They had put her on her PJs at least an hour ago, and the yawns the little girl let out throughout dinner had let them both know how she was indeed tired, and in need of her bed.

Yet, the moment Peyton stepped into the room she'd gone back to feel all too nervous again.

"Yeah," JJ replied rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm tired," She explained –_needlessly_.

Maybe Peyton wasn't the only one that was still a bit nervous about this all.

"Come here" Peyton said sweetly, lifting her up of the floor, and placing her gently right on top the bed. She sat across from her at the edge of the bed, and simply sat in silence for a couple of minutes just glancing over at her. She smiled a little, and rested her hand on JJ's thigh, as if calling her attention that way. The little girl looked up at her with those sleepy eyes that only told Peyton how she needed to hurry and say whatever she needed to say _fast_. "I...I know that you wish you were in your own bed and bedroom right now, and I know this all..." She trailed off looking over at how little changed Karen's former room was. But then shaking her head slightly, she refocused in JJ before her. "But I promise we'll fix it up a little bit more soon, okay?" She said, and had to smile when JJ nodded her head.

The room was _definitely_ too adult-like for her as well.

"I...I'm gonna let you to sleep now," Peyton said standing up from the bed already, and pulling down the covers so JJ could crawled under. She let out a breath looking down at JJ, as she also tucked behind her ear a few locks of hair. She then crouched down on the floor, and looked seriously at her eyes. "I'll be just right across the hall, okay? If you need anything, _anything_ you just go meet me there. You put on your pretty sleepers and go get me no matter the time," She said firmly and nodding her head along with JJ who matched her motion only seconds after she began herself. "You got here some water just in case you get thirsty, and I'll also leave the door open just a bit so you can get a little light in here, all right? Oh, and I...I" She said leaning closer to JJ as though she was about to tell her a secret. JJ leaned over a little too, and Peyton felt as though smiling was simply the one thing she could do at that moment. "Right there," She whispered gesturing her to the vanity table across the room. "In the first drawer, I let there for you a couple chocolate kisses just in case you want something sweet in the middle of the night sweet girl," She said with a small chuckle JJ matched simply.

Peyton nodded her head pulling away from the girl, and then just offered her a small smile. "Whatever you need I'm just a call away, got it?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

Letting out yet another small chuckle, JJ nodded her head one more time. "Got it," She said simply yet firmly looking into Peyton's eyes.

"Okay," She replied slowly, not really wanting to leave the room quite yet, but then again...Lucas had been actually right, and she simply couldn't let JJ get used to her sleeping with her every night.

If she did so, then what was going to happen once the girl went away with her new family, and Peyton couldn't be there to comfort her anymore?

Peyton then shook her head a little as if pulling herself off from all those daunting thoughts, and instead she made herself smile as she bent forward, and tenderly kissed the top of JJ's head. "Have a good night," She whispered stroking gently her chubby cheek before she really pulled away and walked to the doorway.

"Night Peyton," JJ whispered back all so softly, and Peyton simply smiled.

"Good Night," She said at last closing the door behind her, and of course leaving a crack open as she had promised.

A part of her didn't want to get even closer to that girl; she knew she couldn't...she shouldn't.

Then again, there was also that _other_ part of her that simply couldn't help it.

She could only hope now that letting JJ into her heart hadn't been the wrong choice for either of them.

* * *

**AN : **So what do you think? LP + JJ = ? You all got the last word *hehe* I think li'l tiffs should get in the way, I'm just not sure what kind of tiffs, do you have any ideas? I have some, but I'll love to hear from you all anyway! *hihi*

Anywho, thank you so much for reading, and let me know what you think!** ;)**


	7. The Box with the Answers

**Author's Note : **Update Day! *hihi* been having some crazy days over here, but actually still managed to make a little progress with this story. The problem however, I don't know why but I'm actually writing the chapters in not exactly the right order, so...yeah, I did finish pulling off Ch7, but Ch16 is kind of already written anyhow *lol* I know that that doesn't make much sense, so anyway...I hope you are enjoying this story! This chapter was pretty much made so we all could learn a little bit more of JJ's life pre- the accident night and stuff...It's a little slow but I still hope you like it, and please let me know what you think ;)

Thanks so much anyway to all you who are reading! Means a lot and we'll see how this story keeps moving along. A teeny _'insight'_ :: Chapter 16 is not all that happy, I'm pretty sure some of you would not like what I'm planning to do *already did, kinda lol* BUT it also had its share of cuteness, and aw, the story is quite close to my heart so I hope we get there soon enough and that you all keep reading, and hopefully...liking!

**PS :** HAPPY HALLOWEEN! *hehe*

**The Box with the Answers**

* * *

"I think he's bored," JJ noted with a chuckle and Peyton couldn't think in a time she had been any more right.

It had taken a little –_well, in reality a lot_– of her to convince Lucas in how she could actually be outside of the house for a couple of hours without something wrong happening.

He'd had a hard time trying to believe those words. He simply just found it hard, not only let Peyton outside the house without _him_, but also JJ. Whether they could see it or not, his job was to take care of them, and a part of him was scared out of his mind that something else will happen to them if _he_ wasn't there for them when they needed him.

In all honesty, he didn't care one bit Peyton was a grown woman. If it were up to him, he'd treat her as a porcelain doll and keep her safe and sound in the safeness of their home.

Of course he knew that wasn't remotely possible. It was Peyton he was talking about in the end, but a guy could still dream, right?

More so when it was about the woman he loved, and his family itself.

She had _literally_ just got out of the hospital. It was only natural he was worrying so much for them. At least he'd like to believe that.

Ultimately, he'd ended up agreeing –_of course, that not before he called Nathan and make sure he was going to be with them at every moment_–

Although going back to work hadn't been at all in his '_To Do'_ list, he'd been forced to do it. Apparently, after being away for over two weeks, his presence was starting to become necessary, so after almost making Peyton swore she wasn't going to overdo herself, he'd agreed to first, go to work himself. And second, agreed to them going out of the house without his '_supervision_'.

It was an understatement to say he had agreed without being really convinced, but in any case, they were going out.

A part of Peyton couldn't blame him; she actually liked when he got all protective over her. Especially now for some reason; but sometimes, even though she'd give anything to make him happy, too much simply became_ too_ much. She was positive both, herself and JJ had reached that _'too much'_ point already.

Everybody was treating them as if they were made of glass of something. If well it was true they had only left the hospital three days ago, that didn't mean _at all_ they were doomed to housebound.

The doctor never said they were in bed rest or anything like that. To _either_ of them. Peyton had made sure to explain that to Lucas rather pointedly. The doctors had just told them how they had to take things slow for the first few weeks; eat well, and do not stress out over nothing for _all _of their sakes.

Peyton had actually agreed gladly with him; she needed to take care of JJ as well as she needed to take care of herself; she knew that _very _well. Yet, she honestly wasn't staying at home _all-day-long_ only to please Lucas.

She love him, she certainly did, more than _anything_ else in the world; but if he was going out, so would them.

–_It really didn't matter he'd gone out actually against his wishes, the point was that he had–_

It had been JJ's idea the '_Where_' they headed off to. Peyton hadn't thought about it before, but it actually was a good idea.

She had loved when the _'suggestion'_ left JJ's lips all so quietly. Unfortunately, the little girl's night's sleep hadn't improved all that much in the last couple of days. She would still wake up crying in the middle of the night, and for some reason it had become harder for Peyton to calm her down at their home than at the hospital.

She really couldn't understand why; only that she hated it. She still tried to only stay with her for as long as it cost her to go back to sleep. She'd tried –_and tried hard_- to stay put in her own bed next to Lucas until it was time to get up, or well...until JJ woke them up again.

Peyton knew all of it wasn't too easy on Lucas either. Their days had actually gone well, but then the night came and it was as going back to step one.

She was finding it comforting anyway to hold on to all the little smiles they'd get from JJ during the day. She loved everything Lucas was doing to make her feel at home; from cooking her favorite meals for the three of them, to the point of come up himself with all sort of crazy games that little by little were helping JJ open up to them, and to everyone else really.

Although the official '_introductory dinner'_ was set until Thursday –_suiting perfectly for Thanksgiving Day actually_– Brooke and Sam, and Haley and Nathan, had already paid their little-quick visit to JJ… and to Peyton naturally of course.

They hadn't said much, or asked much for that matter either. They had keep it simple, only saying to JJ just how happy they were she was okay, and with Lucas and Peyton now.

They still had kind of given the girl a few presents, and although JJ had acted rather shy around them, after they were gone, and it was just her with Luke and Peyton, she'd opened the presents with quite a smile on her face, and even with excitement.

Peyton felt silly by saying it, but the picture of JJ opening her presents all excitedly had make her feel herself like a seven-year-old in Christmas morning.

Were those little things that made it all worth it.

And it actually hadn't been so hard pleasing her wishes that morning; it only took from Peyton a call, and in less than an hour she already had in her hands the keys to JJ's –_now former_– house.

When Nathan parked in their driveway, he had found both Peyton and JJ sitting on the porch steps talking softly. He'd walked to them and Peyton had '_suggested'_ to him that in order to keep their day smoothly, it was maybe a better idea if they all walked to JJ's house instead of driving.

She'd checked the address, and surprisingly it wasn't that far from her home. Only a few blocks closer and they would've actually been neighbors.

That fact had felt a little odd for Peyton, but in any case, it did make things easier. The less she wanted was make JJ overdo herself, or doing so herself for that matter either, but it really wasn't that far.

Peyton had still to do a little convincing on Nathan as well...it really seemed like it was a family thing or something, Scott boys honestly worry _too_ much.

She'd appreciate the gesture though; Brooke had always been her go-to girl, but every now and again, usually lately since the two of them were now _officially_ related, Nathan had well become her go-to boy if she could say so herself. Even though it didn't happen all that often, sometimes she certainly found herself in a place where she couldn't talk to Luke right away and when going to Brooke with her problems didn't seem like the smartest of choices. So in those times Nathan had happened to be there, and he _certainly_ was not that bad of a friend – _and_ of a brother of course either.

In all honesty, he hadn't had any problem hanging out with JJ and Peyton today. Ultimately, both his son and wife were at school, so passing the while with the girls didn't sound as a bad plan for him at all.

However, when JJ had said to Peyton that he looked bored, she had been _deathly_ right. She was looking at him through the window of her bedroom, and when Peyton moved closer to the girl; she saw the picture of boredom in Nathan's features. He was just walking the sidewalk from side to side looking blankly at everything that passed by.

Peyton simply had to agree with the girl. The boy was bored.

He'd said he didn't want to intrude so that the two of them could go ahead, and look for whatever they needed, that he'll just wait outside.

Maybe he just hadn't stop to think that maybe it would take them a little more time than he expected to find whatever that was they were still seeking out for.

In any way, they weren't ones to blame. At least Peyton didn't think so. For starters, JJ hadn't been there since everything with her mom happened. The social worker had gotten some of her clothes and personal items, but she'd never really take the girl back there.

It hadn't been lost on Peyton the little smile that graced her lips as she stepped inside _her_ home again. Not she, not Lucas knew all that much about JJ's life still; only that it had always been just she and her mother, and that they had moved to Tree Hill only a few months ago.

Whatever the case was, the house Peyton was at at that moment was_ JJ_ home, and she more than anyone knew how good it did feel to be back to that place.

The sad part however, was that she'd had to come back home without the person that held all the meaning of that word.

It saddened Peyton fairly but that still didn't stop her from amaze herself at just how many pictures of JJ that place held. From the moment she was just a teeny little baby, to pretty recent ones.

Peyton couldn't stop to see details into any of them though. As soon as she asked JJ what she wanted to do now, the girl had smiled back at her before running her way up the stairs and into her bedroom.

The shy little girl Peyton was starting to get used to, completely disappeared before her eyes as she saw JJ in her bedroom with all those things that were her life not so long ago.

Peyton smiled looking down at her, and rested her hand on her shoulder as if drawing her attention away from the window that way. "Yep, I bet he is," She said matching the small chuckle that escaped JJ's lips as she turned looking up at Peyton's eyes. "We still don't have to hurry to go, okay? We can stay for as long as you want to. If he's really bored then I promise I'll go get him in a little while," She said winking playfully as she moved back to the girl's bed.

"I got already most of your clothes packed," She continued as she zipped up yet another bag of clothes. "I think it was a good thing you decided we should come here. I was going a little crazy trying to match for you the little clothes we have at home," She noted chuckling slightly although her words were nothing other than the absolute _trut_h.

Even though JJ hadn't spent all that many days with them yet, in the few time she had, Peyton, and actually Lucas too, had learned already how keeping a six-year-old clean and tidy in the same suit of clothes for a whole day wasn't easy _at all_.

It wasn't as if JJ was messy, the polar opposite actually. Every time the slightest bit of food, or anything really fell to her clothes, her tiny face would contort in that way that simply told Peyton how she certainly _needed _to pull the girl out of those now '_mucky_' clothes, and instead get her into something _neat_.

Truth be told, even though it had only been three days, Peyton had actually seen herself struggling with the clothing aspect, so for more reasons than one, it had been a great idea to come there.

Maybe the feeling of _'familiar'_ and '_normal_' would help JJ deal with everything she was dealing with too.

"You're taking it all?" JJ asked looking wide-eyed in Peyton's direction.

Peyton chuckled, but couldn't hide the apologetic smile that she simply _had_ to send back in JJ's direction. She actually wished they could take the whole place with them back home. Sadly, that was pretty much impossible. If well it was true JJ lived with her mama only, the house was big enough to host a whole brood. After a moment, Peyton simply shook her head twisting her lips a bit. "Not all of it," She said carrying a little uneasiness in her voice. "But you just tell me what you wanna take and I'll make sure we do, deal?" She asked raising her eyebrows, and JJ nodded her head with a small smile from the beanbag-chair she was sitting at.

"Okay," JJ said biting playfully her bottom lip before she stood up from the chair, and walked a few steps closer to Peyton. "Wanna see something?" She offered looking up rather nervously into Peyton's eyes.

The blonde felt as though nodding was the only thing she could do at that moment. She loved the way JJ was smiling up at her. She then just reached her hand down for JJ to take and lead _both_ their ways. It was her home after all.

The little girl walked her quietly down the hallway, and into the room at the end. She opened the door all too carefully, and let go of Peyton's hand as she walked further into the room by herself.

Peyton stood by the doorway for a moment, just looking over at her, and at what seemed to be her mom's bedroom. It was definitely a grown-up room, just for the furniture Peyton could tell that much, but then the way JJ looked over at everything, nearly broke her heart.

"JJ," Peyton called up softly causing the girl to turn on her spot to look at her with slight glistered eyes. Peyton took a deep breath, and then simply managed a small smile in that little girl's direction. "Your Mommy's room?"

"Yep," JJ replied simply nodding her head. "Mommy keeps all her_ treasures _in here," She said with her eyes fairly wide, before scurrying to the other side of the room with a soft smile painted on her face.

Peyton then just watched her as she crouched down on the floor and pulled from under the bed a small wooden keepsake box. "Mommy's treasures," She echoed with a smile of her own. "I bet your Mommy will love if you keep it," She noted but before she could continue saying what she wanted to say, JJ's head turned rather fast locking eyes with her.

"You think so?" She asked uncertainly, standing up from the floor already with the box in her hands.

"I know so," Peyton said decisively motioning her to the double bed in the middle of the room. She pulled JJ –_with box and everything_– up onto the bed and then simply looked at her as _she _looked down at the box.

"You wanna see what is in there?" JJ asked again, sounding just as hesitantly as she had the time before.

In any case, Peyton shrugged her shoulders a little at her words. "I dunno," She said simply. "I think it's yours so _you_ can see it if you want to. We can take her home so you can see it by yourself if that's what you'd like."

JJ thought for a minute before her lips twisted a little to her side. "Can I open it with _you?_" She asked and all Peyton could do was smile in return.

"I'd love to open it with you too," Peyton said back squishing her nose up playfully.

JJ then nodded her head once again, and let out a small sigh before opening up the top of the box. "Momma says it is 'portant to keep memories of the things we love," She noted softly before Peyton could distinguish anything yet that was inside the box.

"I...Um, I think she was right," Peyton said back only a few seconds later but not really lying. She kind of believed that too; sometimes if you keep just the _right_ object, at that one important moment in your life, then maybe years later when you look at it again you'll get to feel the same way you were feeling that day that you saved it.

She'd like to believe that anyway.

"Yeah...me too," JJ replied meeting her eyes for just a second before looking back down at the box.

Peyton was looking firmly at her face, but when the girl let out a chuckle, she unconsciously shifted her eyes down at the box.

"That's me, but I'm not a treasure," JJ said innocently giggling slightly as she took out of the box a few photographs that rested on top of all her mother's _other_ treasures.

Very little did she know; of course, _she_ was her mom's greatest treasure.

"I think you actually are one," Peyton said nodding knowingly in her direction. JJ looked up at her sheepishly, shaking her head a little. "That was your Mommy?" She asked smiling at that little girl's modesty.

JJ moved her eyes back to the photo and nodded her head. "That was when I was a baby," She said turning a little the picture so Peyton could look better at it.

"Well...you were one pretty baby," Peyton said sincerely, looking at a chubby Jennifer in her mom's arms. "And your Mommy was very pretty too," She said not lying in that one either. She actually was a lot like JJ with her long blonde hair and big eyes. Hers seemed a little darker though, but Peyton couldn't tell for sure.

"Yep," JJ said firmly, nodding her head along with her words. She then started flipping through the pictures, revealing more pictures of her and her mom mostly. But then she reached to the last one and Peyton's heart broke a little bit more at the sight.

"That's Daddy," JJ whispered with her eyes strongly fixed on the picture. "He was in the desert," She informed closing her eyes tightly for a moment.

Peyton closed hers as well before reaching her hand out, and resting it upon JJ's cheek. "It's okay baby," She said softly, stroking her skin a bit.

"Nope," JJ replied quietly, yet shaking her head a little too strongly. "Mama said he was in a place that wasn't too safe, but that he was doing a good thing, and that he..."

"I bet he loved you _very_ much," Peyton filled in for her with a sigh when the girl's voice cracked. JJ nodded her head somberly before her right hand flew to her face rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I think he's now with Mommy again," JJ said and the moment Peyton caught sight of her lips quivering a little she just _had _to pull her close to her side.

Peyton didn't say anything for a moment, and simply held JJ to her chest. She really couldn't help in looking down every so often at the picture of her dad in his army suit. All in all, maybe JJ was right, and maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe they were actually together now, but maybe also looking down at the girl from...somewhere.

She'd love to find a way to explain just that to that little girl.

"What else is in there," Peyton said a moment later, trying to just change the subject to something a little bit lighter. In all honesty, the less she wanted was having JJ shedding a single more tear. She moved gently JJ's little hands from the box she kept holding tightly, and took out of it a few postcards. "These..."

"We travel a lot," JJ said lifting a bit her head from Peyton's chest. "That's..." She began pointing with her forefinger the card in Peyton's hand. "Seattle," She said simply before looking up at Peyton's eyes. "We lived there for a _long _while," She said wide-eyed, and Peyton only smiled as she kept going. "There you can ride in tons of ferryboats, those are _fun_," She said smiling softly.

"They are, aren't they?" Peyton agreed with a small chuckle. "So what's your opinion on rain? Like it? Or not too much? Seattle is quite rainy, right?"

JJ sucked in her breath for a moment as though she was stifling laughter or something. "A little," She replied at last with a teeny smirk on her face. "We used to go out in the rain sometimes," She began speaking rather softly, almost into Peyton's ear as though telling the blonde a secret. "Rain can make you sick but if you get some hot cocoa and change your clothes _right away,_ it can also be fun," She said with a chuckle Peyton didn't hesitate in match.

They flipped together through a few more of the postcards of the places JJ had lived with her mom, and Peyton actually listened with delight at JJ's explanations of _every_ place she'd been.

Peyton was positive she hadn't heard the girl talk as much as she'd talked that morning, and it honestly felt for her as if she'd made at least ten big steps forward with that pretty little blonde.

However, not twenty minutes later, their moment was rather interrupted when Peyton's cell phone started buzzing in her pocket.

She'd be lying if she said she'd been surprised at who it was. "Hi," She said softly into her phone, moving to the doorway after she'd left JJ still on the bed looking over at more items on the box.

"_Hey," Lucas said back simply, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Especially, not fooling Peyton. His voice was carrying all the concern she knew very well he was wearing at the other end. "You two are okay? Nate says you'd been there forever,"_

Peyton let out a quiet puff of air before rolling her eyes playfully. "You already called Nathan?" She asked feigning disbelief. Of course he had.

"_Yup," Lucas replied quietly with a pout he knew she wasn't seeing but still more than likely knew it was there anyway. "I was worried," He argued shrugging a little his shoulders._

Peyton couldn't help but smile at his words. "We are okay, Luke," She reassured him patiently. "We just packed some of her clothes, and now she was actually showing me all the cool places she'd lived with her mom. Are a lot, Luke," She said with a chuckle Lucas matched effortlessly. He honestly only need her laughing _one_ time to realize she was indeed okay. "I promise though we'll be home in just a little while. Stop worrying!" She said playfully laughing once again.

"_Okay," Lucas grumbled back just as playfully. "But you take care of yourself and..."_

"Yeah Luke, I will." Peyton cut him short rolling her eyes just a little, since he was actually _still_ worrying. "I'll see you at home?"

"_Yeah," Lucas said without hesitation. Truth be told, he'd be waiting all morning to lunchtime only so he could go home and take a proper look of those girls of his. "Getting out of here in just a while, so you two better be at home when I get there, okay?"_

"Okay," Peyton said simply nodding her head. "I'll see ya then,"

"_Yeah...Love you," Lucas sang really not wanting to hang up the phone quite yet._

"Love you too, goof," Peyton said scoffing a little. "Be safe,"

_Lucas simply had to sigh._

"_Ditto"_

* * *

**AN : **Hm...What do you say? Yeah, I know, a little too slow, but also a little needed. Didn't you want know who the girl was? I hope so! Next chapter is 'Thanksgiving'...I actually heard my mom talking about our upcoming thanksgiving the other day so I though "What the heck!" so here we'll have it a bit sooner too *hihi*

**Ooh, Side-Note!** Luke's movie didn't fall through in this fic! I thought that was lame, and a really bad move, I would have LOVE to see LP's movie done so...here he's currently working in his movie _with_ Julian! Anybody likes him by the way? I'm just curious!

Anyway, thanks so much for reading, and if you like it...let me know! If you didn't...well, then is your choice if you wanna tell me or not! ***lol***


	8. A Family Thing

**Author's Note : **This is one of those chapters I just started writing and didn't seem to stop until it was a bit too late, and I've made one _long_ chapter and a bit **too** jumpy! I guess it sort of makes up the slowness of the last one...eeeep, dunno! Let me know what you think anyway!  
Oh, and...Somehow replying some of the questions I hadn't respond from your reviews :: I just don't wanna give much away. One of the things I like the most of this story (That doesn't mean at all it should be something you like too, but it's me lol) Is that you all kinda have to read _between the lines_ to really get what they are saying, but most important what they are _not_ saying, and believe me, it's quite a lot lol... **:)**

So, the actual point of this **AN**; sooner rather than later _everything_ would make sense and you'll learn _all _you_ need _to learn_ if _only you read careful enough!

Anywho, I'm babbling, ain't I? *lol* I'll shut now, so um, don't know...**Enjoy! :)**

**A Family Thing {All In}**

* * *

"I think I was going to be a pilgrim,"

"Thanksgiving play, or something?" Peyton asked back quite softly, feeling only a _little _lost at the comment.

"Yep," JJ said simply turning around on her spot so that she was facing Peyton. "At school, you know?" She explained maybe a bit too pointedly as if Peyton really didn't have a clue about what she was talking about. "We were supposed to act our parts until the moment Mr. Turkey was served for the _very_ first time," She said with a small chuckle Peyton didn't have the slightest of problems to match.

She sobered up a little too fast though when realization hit her. "I'm sorry you couldn't be there JJ. I...I really didn't even think about that sweetie,"

"It's okay," JJ replied rather quickly, shrugging a bit her shoulders. "I liked being here with you and Lucas,"

"You did?" Peyton asked quietly, unable not to smile at her little statement.

It might not mean all that much for everybody else, but for her, for more than one reason, it meant everything.

"Yeah," JJ said firmly with a nod of her head. "I liked the apple pie Lucas brought yesterday," She admitted with a giggle Peyton _had_ to match one more time. "Last year me and Mommy were in New York City, you know?" She asked with her eyes wide looking right into Peyton's. She simply smiled back as JJ nodded her own head.

Before the girl could continue telling, Peyton turned her back around facing the mirror, so that she could listen to her story, but _also_ finish doing her hair.

"There were many people dressed up into _all _kind of things, and animals, and TV people, too," JJ noted turning around only a little catching Peyton's eyes with her own. "We saw the big parade in the middle of the street, it was _pretty _big, the whole street was filled with people, and _huge_ balloons, and Snoopy, and even Santa Claus was there. At night we ate turkey with Mommy in a pretty restaurant," She paused softening her voice a little. "And we ate a little apple pie too," She added sheepishly and Peyton had to laugh.

"I bet it was really fun, baby," Peyton said sincerely as she attempted for like the third time that morning to pull –_neatly_– JJ's hair up into a ponytail.

Who knew it actually was _that_ hard?

Then again, the girl hadn't stopped moving, nor talking for that matter either since she'd started trying. So even though Peyton wasn't one to complain about the fact, not at all, still, if the ponytail ended up all messy, it wasn't going to be only her fault.

"Yeah, it was," JJ replied turning around –_yet again_– "You think we can see a little of the parade on TV before we have to go? Momma said that was a pretty important part of thanksgiving," She said nodding her head with her eyes quite wide as she spoke.

Ultimately, she really wasn't giving Peyton an option.

She simply _had_ to cave in.

"Of course," Peyton said back with a nod of her own. "We just got to find the way to take the remote off Lucas' hands, he..."

"He really likes the game," JJ filled in for Peyton before the two of them started chuckling at the statement.

The boy had certainly made his point clear about the game earlier that day.

"But we'll convince him," Peyton assured her firmly, and actually believing what she'd said. If she was good at something..._anything_, that was made Lucas Scott do the things she'd like. It really wasn't bribing, or manipulation, or anything such in any way. It was just simply the way things were. "Oh, and I'll tell you what, I can always ask Brooke to make you a pilgrim costume. I know thanksgiving is today, but maybe you and I...and Luke too, could play thanksgiving one of these days," She offered smiling softly. But really, who said kids could only play thanksgiving _that_ Thursday? There really was no harm in pleasing that little girl.

Or at the very least...trying to do please her..

"You think she can?" JJ asked back with actually so much hope carrying with her voice.

"Sure she can," Peyton replied without one bit of hesitation. Sweetly, she then cupped JJ's face with both her hands. "She didn't have any problem making you this pretty dress just for today, did she?" She asked with her eyebrows rose, as she smoothed JJ's very special thanksgiving blue and white dress, Brooke had brought to her only the day before.

"Nope," JJ replied coyly looking down at her own pretty new dress.

"No, she didn't," Peyton agreed simply, with a smile. "I'll tell her today, and I'm sure she'll love to make you a pretty awesome pilgrim costume," She said patting playfully the tip of JJ's nose before putting on her _'serious'_ face again. They _really_ were running late already. "Now, come on, I gotta fix you up quickly or else we'll end up celebrating '_Black Friday'_ instead of thanksgiving tonight at Haley's," She said with a chuckle JJ didn't hesitate to match.

So maybe they actually have quite a few reasons to be thankful for that day; that girl's smile instead of her tears was definitely one.

Those teeny smiles, and chuckles, didn't always come easy, and not always lasted that much either. So the bottom line was that in only five days they'd been with that girl at their home, she had smiled, and talked a whole lot more than what she did in all the sixteen days they spent in the hospital together.

Not she, not Lucas could be sure about how much that really mean, but in any case, they knew it did mean _something_ at least.

* * *

Peyton still was only supposed to be taking care of only_ one_ child in her house. Yet, the moment she stepped into her room after leaving JJ in the living room with a movie, she'd realized maybe they were _two_, and that fact was _just_ snapping in her. "What the heck are you doing?" She asked really fighting back a chuckle.

Shrugging, Lucas looked back at her from the mess he'd made on _their_ bed. Of course, his eyes squinted. "Just searching for something," He argued playfully, one more time with a shrug of his shoulders. "What?"He asked again fairly defensively when she simply kept staring at him. In any case, he knew that even if he wanted to, there was no way he could wipe off the grin he was wearing on his face at that moment.

It wasn't as if _she_ hadn't made messes herself before.

Even _worst_ ones and he _so_ could say that.

Rolling her eyes a little, Peyton walked her way to the bed, and sat right on the edge. "Nothing," She said innocently, with a shrug of her own. "I just thought you'd be ready by the time I finished with JJ. That's all," She said rather politely, patting a bit his cheek. "I guess we can be late...it won't be my fault anyway," She said pouting just a little bit and standing up from the bed already, but only to be literally dragged back onto it by Lucas. "Hey!" She cried with a giggle as she found the better part of her body resting over his. She caught a glimpse of his eyes into hers for a split second before she simply _had_ to laugh.

Everything had been so crazy in the last few weeks; not only because of the accident, and JJ, but because of _everything_. In a way it still amazed her how in spite of whatever that was in her mind, he'd always..._always_, no matter what, could still make her smile. And in more ways than one, simply remind her with that goofy smirk of his, how what _really _was important was right there before her eyes when she was looking at him.

She waited a beat, but then Peyton could only soften her features before smiling sheepishly up at him – Not moving _one_ inch from his hold of course. "Are you gonna tell me what you were looking for?" She asked artlessly, reaching out her hand and instinctively resting it upon his cheek.

Lucas smiled looking down at her, and then just shrugged his shoulders...one more time. "It was not for _you_ exactly," He warned playfully before she could start making ideas in her head.

However, the way her lips formed into a pout at his words, let him know just how she had _already_ made those ideas.

He chuckled though, honestly unable not to do so. "You are gonna laugh though," He added coyly, and then it was her turn to chuckle.

"Give it," Peyton replied eagerly, sitting up on the bed, and looking expectantly in his direction.

Lucas rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm before going back to smile. He'd laugh of himself if it really wasn't so embarrassing, but all in all he wanted to do it for JJ so he'd decided he'd deal with the teasing he was _oh-so_ sure would come from his lovely wife. "You know the play? JJ's?" He said needlessly, Peyton simply nodded. "Well..." He said reaching out for one old scrapbook. "I was six at the time too," He said after he opened the book in one page close to the end, and pointed out to a very serious boy squinting terribly at the camera.

He certainly didn't seem happy about his roll, and Peyton's attempts to muffle her chuckles made him realized just how obvious that was.

"You were the turkey," Peyton sang, trying with all her might to get rid of the hint of tease on her voice, but failing miserably. "You were cute," She noted reaching out her arms, and wrapping them around his neck before he could stand up from the bed, as she well knew he wanted. "You were," She insisted, looking out of the corner of her eye the photos of Lucas' turkey performance once upon a time. "Look at those chubby cheeks, who knew?" She said kissing his lips between a giggle he actually had to match.

He had hoped he'd be able to show JJ the picture without Peyton really having to see it, but well...he'd failed, and all in all, he actually knew she'd see it eventually, so if she was one to tease him about it, so be it, it wasn't as if he didn't enjoy seeing her all giddy in his arms.

After a moment, Peyton pushed away just a bit from Lucas so that she was seeing into his eyes. "You searched out for the picture for JJ?" She asked cautiously, narrowing slightly her eyes.

"Yeah...kinda," Lucas replied shrugging his shoulders. "I kind of just wanted to make her smile, you know?" He said as if that was just the logics of explanations.

And in a way, it was.

"You are cute," Peyton stated before dropping a kiss to his lips once again. "But you still need to get ready or we are really going to be...even late," She said goofily, patting his chest, as she stood up from the bed, and walked towards the door. "We'll show her the picture when you are looking just a little less...raggy," She said chuckling before leaving him all by himself in the bedroom with quite a pout on his lips.

She always did that to him.

In any case, the smirk she triumphantly was wearing as she exited the room didn't last all that long on her face. "Dammit Julian!"She cried out clearly startled, and with a hand strongly clutched to her heart. "You scared the crap out of me! What the heck you are doing here?"

He was taken aback by her reaction; of course he was, but wiping off the smirk of his face? There was not a chance in hell he could do that. "Old habits never die, huh?" He said with his eyebrows raised. "Still cursing...not even being a mom made you change that," He said_ only_ half-teasingly making her glare in his direction.

Peyton pursed her lips, walking past him as her heart race starting going back to normal. "I...I'm not a– What are you doing here?" She asked once again, honestly, not wanting to explain herself to him.

Especially _not_ him.

Even though he actually did have a point, JJ was only six-years-old after all. Peyton certainly knew she shouldn't be cursing like that.

And not that loud too.

She wouldn't admit that to him anyway.

She just wouldn't.

"Just came to see it with my own eyes, you know?" Julian replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Needed to see in order to believe," He added, and couldn't help but chuckle at the dramatic way she rolled her eyes.

"What?" Peyton asked rather exasperatedly, but who could blame her? Having unexpected visits from _ex_-boyfriends on thanksgiving morning was definitely not in her plans.

"The infamous girl, and you...and..." Julian began explaining but trailed off when she started shaking her head. "What?" He asked defensively.

"You got not business in that, and you know it," Peyton said back pointedly nodding her head. "Luke's just inside and I..."

"And what?" Julian interrupted her moving only a little closer to her. "It's not as if I don't see the guy every day at work, and besides..." He said softening the urgency on his voice. "I kind of...well, I just wanted to make sure you were really okay after...you know? Everything..."

At his words, Peyton took a deep breath and could only nod her head yet again. "It's fine I guess," She said at last, looking right into his eyes. "I am fine," She added feeling the moment just a _little _awkward. A part of her couldn't really blame him, she knew in spite of everything she'd worry about him if something actually happened to him.

Maybe it wasn't that easy to explain, but of course she would worry.

He was Julian after all; he was certanltly not just another stranger in her life.

Breaking her from her thoughts, Julian's voice carried to her ears after her last statement. "I can see that now, you look fine, I...I'm glad," Julian said quite sincerely looking over at her from head to toe. "Just the wrist..." He said lifting his wrist up, and whirling it a little in the air.

Peyton smiled nodding her head as she followed his lead, and lifted a bit her own arm which was still '_rocking'_ that awful black wrist guard the doctors kept insisting she _needed_ to use. "Just the wrist," She agreed quietly at last.

Silence settled next, and she simply had to shift her eyes from his to the floor for some reason. He walked past her silently after a moment before moving back, and resting his chin over her shoulder. "Can I meet her?" He asked into her ear, and it was as though she was hearing a five-year-old asking her for candy or something.

She shook her head out of instinct more than anything else before turning around on her spot, and meeting his eyes one more time. "Just to say _'Hi'_, and then you're gone, got it?" She warned even though she already had cave in.

Julian just nodded his head gesturing her with his hands towards the living room; he had _so_ already spotted the girl...he just hadn't wanted to intrude her, as in reality he didn't know at all how things were going with that girl and Peyton...and Lucas of course as well.

All he knew was that she'd been there for quite a few days already, and he kind of wanted to meet her for some reason.

Peyton looked into his eyes cautiously for a few more seconds, before shaking her head yet again, and walking towards the living room with Julian walking closely behind her.

She stopped short smiling over at how focused JJ was watching the parade on the TV, and simply enjoyed the way her little face was all lit up. "Hey," She said softly, not wanting at all to startle her, but just drawing her attention.

JJ's eyes moved from the TV to Peyton's eyes for a second, and then right at the stranger in the house. She twisted her lips a little, but Peyton lightened the mood somewhat with a chuckle. "He just came to say _'Hi'_ and _'Happy Thanksgiving'_," She said sweetly, reaching JJ in the couch, and helping her up so that the two of them were facing Julian. "Jay, this is Julian...he works with Lucas, you know?" She said looking down at JJ before lifting her head up and meeting Julian's eyes. "And Julian this is JJ," She said simply, yet quite happily for some reason.

That was actually the first time _she_ was introducing the little girl; the times before that, although few, it had always being Lucas.

She wasn't complaining about it though, it just had felt kind of nice for a reason she couldn't really explain.

"Nice to meet you," Julian said in his soft voice, reaching out his hand for JJ to take.

After looking up at Peyton as if for an _'okay'_, JJ shook hands with him for a few seconds. "Happy thanksgiving," She said softly looking up at last at his eyes.

Julian smiled nodding his head, as he took his hand back. "Happy thanksgiving to you too," He said sincerely before looking up at Peyton.

She had told him already what he'd came in to do, and like he had done it already, he knew very well what he was supposed to do know. "I'll go now," He said gesturing with his head towards the door.

Peyton nodded her own head at his words, and just smiled a bit looking down at the girl for a second. "You can come," She called after Julian even though her eyes stayed down locked with JJ's for a longer moment. He turned around only slightly from the doorway, and she just had to elaborate. "I mean...only if you want to...Um, Nathan, and Haley's for dinner tonight? Just..."

"I won't say it was _you_ who invited me...noted," Julian filled in for her with a smirk, and she couldn't help but smile. "I'd say it was JJ here," He added with a chuckle, and even JJ matched it softly. "I go now...I'll...See you guys later," He said before closing the door behind him and leaving the two girls in the living room.

"He's actually kinda nice when he wants to be," Peyton said chuckling a little to JJ who just nodded her head with that little smile gracing her lips.

It was thanksgiving after all, and...ultimately, Peyton knew he really didn't have any other place to go to that evening...He would if he'd only fly back to LA or something, but he hadn't, and a part of her felt maybe a little responsible for him. He was _'new'_ in town after all, and for better or for worse, _she_ was the one that knew him better, and all in all, it honestly couldn't harm. She was just doing what anybody else would have done for a friend.

She'd like to believe it that way anyway.

* * *

"One week later and she's still alive and so are _you_…I can take that as a good sign, right?" Haley sang fairly playfully into Peyton's ear, not really wanting to sound _too_ annoying, but still needing to say everything that had been in the tip of her tongue for the longest of time.

"Ha!" Peyton grumbled, glaring only _slightly_ in Haley's direction as she took a seat next to her by the dining table. "It's not that funny,"

"It kinda is," Haley settled simply, brushing off Peyton's glare with a shrug of her shoulders. "She seems okay though…Not traumatize _yet_ at least," She said looking over at the boys _and_ JJ in front of the TV watching nothing other but the game.

Peyton rolled a little her eyes at her comment, but in any case followed her eyes to the living room. "I think she_ is_ okay," She said pointedly drawing Haley's attention off the girl. "At least for now, and so are we. I-I think she actually loves him," She added rather sheepishly looking over only a bit back at Lucas and JJ in his arms.

"Luke, _or _his arms?" Haley asked back with both her eyebrows rose. "She seems pretty comfy in there, you sure you are not even a little jealous about her? Maybe he'll like her more than he likes you…She is after all a whole lot more cute than you are," She said nodding firmly, and really fighting back a chuckle.

Peyton couldn't help but roll her eyes yet again, but after a moment, she also let a small smile grace her lips. Truth be told, she wasn't even _one_ bit jealous of that girl. "I think she loves _him,_ period." She said using her _'serious'_ tone. "But…she actually does love being up onto his lap. He…he'll be writing, you know? And then sometimes just after she wakes up after her nap, she'll simply go into the room he's in, and with no words, she just stands there, right next to him until Luke simply pulls her into his lap as he just keeps writing with her there. It is…just cute, you know?" She said softening her voice at the almost '_normal_' picture now.

Haley took a deep breath looking over at that little girl snuggled all too comfortable in her best friend's arms, and then looked back at Peyton. "It is kinda cute," She agreed simply, taking off her voice all hint of tease for the first time that evening. "So how is it _really_ going?" She asked looking firmly into the blonde's eyes.

"Okay," Peyton replied shrugging her shoulders a little bit. "It's not a vacation with her at the house, we have to be careful about all the little things which is kind of…weird," She acknowledge narrowing her eyes slightly. "But it really isn't that bad either, you know? She's really sweet, and she's always trying to make things easier for the two of us…I think it'll maybe be okay for her in the end," She said really softly, looking one last time at the two before shifting her eyes to Haley's before her.

"I hope so," Haley said back just as quietly, before her eyes narrowed looking at Peyton with those eyes that were pretty much telling her, how she wanted to tell her something, but wasn't sure if she should.

"Just spit it," Peyton said simply, yet firmly, leaning back on her chair.

Haley let out a breath rolling her eyes only a little bit. "I kinda looked up for her, you know?" She said but at Peyton's look of confusion, she decided to elaborate a little more. "At school, you know her mom actually worked there with us? Six grade teacher, I never really met her…But, I…I still must have seen her sometime I guess."

Peyton's mouth opened to reply, but she closed it back again when she realized she really didn't know what to say back at that. Little things kept appearing, that one way or the other, kept tiding their lives with JJ's, and sometimes she just had a hard time finding all those little explanations at the _'Why'_ having so many opportunities before, she never really met JJ or her mom before the night of the accident.

"I went over her whole file actually," Haley spoke softly again upon Peyton's silence. "I, um...hers, and JJ's. It wasn't hard, or wrong for me to do it...at least not as a teacher," She warned not knowing if as a friend – relative whatever, it was actually wrong for her to do it. In any case, after shaking a little her head, she continued. "I just had to ask for her...she's actually pretty bright, and has good grades. You know what is the _one_ note she keeps getting from her teachers?" She asked looking with her eyebrows raised in Peyton's direction.

Peyton let out a breath, and then simply sent back at her a '_What_?' look.

"That she talks _too_ much, and usually doesn't let the other kids around her concentrate properly in whatever the teacher's saying," Haley noted finding it still hard to believe. If in the three times she had seen JJ outside of the hospital, that girl had said _four_ words; that would be an exaggeration.

She'd barely said '_Hi_' and _'Bye'_, yet according to her files, she was the gabbiest of students.

"She actually does like to talk," Peyton granted thoughtfully, smiling a little. "She's just being through a lot, so I don't think new people is her forte these days. But, every time either of us, Luke or I find something she's really into, like all the places she'd traveled with her mom, or her favorite nighttime stories and stuff... she then starts talking like a little parrot until she realizes she's the only one who's talking and we are just two dorks looking back at her." She said with a small chuckle Haley for some reason simply couldn't match. "I just think...I don't know_,_ maybe she just needs some time to get back to her old self, right?" She asked really trying to find some words of encouragement from Haley. She was after all a real mom herself, and a teacher at that.

"I guess so," Haley said simply with her lips slightly pursed. "I do believe it's good for her to stay with you guys now. I mean...the_ two_ of you. Her records always showed _just _her mom, you know? No dad, not even an emergency contact, just her mom…and that, that was…"

"Sad," Peyton filled in for her knowingly. By that day, she had been through JJ's files more than one time as well. She had learned even things she wished she hadn't. "Her Dad died in war before she was even born, I…I don't think he even knew he was going to have a baby before it... happened," She said feeling rather uneasily, before swallowing hard the lump that had formed in her throat. "You see she always has that little necklace... since the hospital?" She asked and at Haley's nod, she continued. "There's a _'J' _trinket hanging from it, I...I haven't ask, but...her dad's name was Jack...I think that _'J'_ is his, and not hers, and... I guess that's all she actually has from him; not a single picture of them together, or letter..._nothing_," She said before closing her eyes tightly for a moment. She honestly couldn't be sure what it was; telling those words she'd kept just for herself for the last few days aloud. Feeling for JJ and even for her dad, the feeling of unfairness that washed over her every single time she started thinking in all the things that had been taken away from that little girl already, maybe even the hormones, but whatever the case was, she simply couldn't help the hot tears that formed behind her eyes as she spoke.

"She kind of has you two now, and well...all of _us_ for that matter too," Haley said smiling softly in Peyton's direction and giving her knee a small reassurance squeeze.

However, although Peyton opened her eyes at her voice, and actually returned the smile, it only lasted a few seconds. "Yeah, but for how long?"

* * *

"Momma we home!"Jamie sang rather loudly as he entered his house with at least four bags hanging from each of his arms. "Got the cranberries!"

"_And_… a few more things," Brooke added sheepishly, walking closely behind the boy.

Haley looked at them both –_and the bags_– for a second, before muffling a chuckle, and moving closer to Jamie. "I just needed the cranberries," She said pointedly taking one of the bags off his hands. "Go leave whatever else you two brought into the kitchen, and…" She called before Jamie could run in the kitchen's direction as she well knew he was about to do. "And if there is something that needs to be in the fridge…"

"Then I'll put it on the fridge," Jamie filled in fairly grumpily for her. He even had to roll his eyes a bit at how Haley would _always_, no matter what, warn him the very same things. "Got it mom," He said at last, before heading to the kitchen with his head down.

"He's just being dramatic," Haley defended herself when both Peyton and Brooke's eyes followed Jamie to the kitchen. "I'm not _that_ annoying," She warned before the three of them started chuckling.

"So... what else did you got?" Haley asked after a moment in Brooke's direction attempting to change the subject a little.

Brooke chuckled a bit before actually replying. "Just a few more goodies for the kids…" She trailed off pensively with a tiny smirk on her face. "See, it's not _'kid'_ anymore, it's '_kids_', more than one, not only Jamie anymore, I _so _can get used to this!" She said maybe a little too happily clapping playfully her hands in the air. "She's like a little rabbit, isn't she?" She asked as her eyes traveled to the living room, and caught a glimpse of that newest little girl in their family.

Peyton smiled following her eyes, but then simply raised her eyebrows. "Why a rabbit?" She asked simply, and not really that confused or lost at Brooke's comment.

She kind of thought that too.

"Because," Brooke explained shortly gesturing them both to JJ. "She's all little, and timid, and shy, and curled up like that in Lucas' lap she's just too adorable," She gushed out with quite a smile on her face before shifting her eyes back at Peyton. "It's actually quite awesome having her around now," She said sincerely with a few slow nods of her head.

Peyton matched her motion, but just when she was about to reply, she caught Jamie walking back into the living room out in the corner of her eye.

He walked slowly yet surely in all three women's direction, and when he reached the dining table, his eyes started darting back and forth between the three of them. "You think she'd like to play something?" He asked rather hesitantly looking into Peyton's eyes. "I really don't think she's liking the game," He pointed out correctly with a small chuckle looking over at JJ.

All sets of eyes shifted towards the living room as well, and matched Jamie's chuckles was all the three women could honestly do. It really wasn't late at all, yet JJ's eyes were growing heavy as she 'supposedly' watched the TV without being the slightest of bits interested into whatever she was seeing.

"I don't think she likes it that much either," Peyton agreed laughing, before looking back down at Jamie. She held her eyes on him for a few seconds, before standing up from her chair, and walking towards the living room. All she did was reach her arms out a little, before JJ was already sleepily crawling up onto her, wrapping tightly her arms around her neck. Peyton gave Lucas a smile and a small kiss to his lips before walking back to the dining room with the girl in her arms. She sat back on her chair, and kept JJ in her lap, as the two of them just listened for a few minutes the little conversation Brooke and Haley were having. When Jamie started twirling his foot on the floor was when Peyton remembered just why she'd brought JJ with her in the first place.

"Are you bored?" She asked in a small voice looking down at JJ and with a soft smile on her face. The girl shook her head widening her eyes, as if she really didn't want Peyton to think she was bored or something. "Good," She said with a small chuckle. "You can go upstairs and play with Jamie in his room if you want? I bet he has pretty cool games," She offered, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

JJ twisted her lips a little, although they were more like curling up in the sides, and Peyton simply loved it. "Can I?" She asked just as softly as Peyton was talking.

"Sure rabbit," She assured her putting her back on her feet and right next to Jamie. Even though Jamie was not even a year older than she was, at that moment JJ seemed to be at least three years younger than the boy. Peyton smiled though looking at both kids before gesturing them with her head towards the stairs. "Go on play," She said simply and still smiling. "I'll be right here if you need me, okay?" She said nodding her head as if for more reassurance.

"Yeah," JJ said softly, and after her Jamie echoed yet another '_Yeah'_ before looking at JJ and without further ado running his way up the stairs with her running after him.

Thanksgiving for them certainly didn't mean stay all day in the living room with chatting girls, and boys into games on TV.

A part of Peyton didn't think she'd go on so easily, maybe she was expecting her to be a little more dependent on her for some reason, but in any case, she was glad she had been wrong, and JJ had gone with Jamie just as she was supposed to.

* * *

"I'd say it just went _all right_, what about you?" Lucas asked maybe a little _too_ happily. His voice was carrying from the hallway as he walked his way to the living room. "Plus," He said again before Peyton could reply his earlier question."I think Haley gave us food to bring that could last easily until Christmas," He noted playfully with a chuckle, before his eyes actually caught sight of Peyton and JJ by the couch.

"I do think it went okay," Peyton agreed looking down at a sleeping JJ in her arms.

"But..." Lucas trailed off knowingly. He had caught every bit of emotion her voice was carrying; there was definitely a _'But'_ at the end of her statement.

Peyton smiled sheepishly looking up at him for maybe a bit longer than she should have before replying. Then after a beat, her eyes shifted back down again. "But," She granted rather quietly as though actually hoping he'd miss it. He didn't though, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes when he even let out a chuckle at her admission. In any case, the moment he pulled her –_and JJ as well_– to his side, she let herself smile.

Already with her head comfortably resting against Lucas' chest, Peyton looked up at his eyes after she'd made sure JJ was still soundly asleep. "Who do you think exactly we are kidding?" She asked in her smallest voice, and honestly, at _any_ other time she would have laugh at how _fast_ his eyes fell into a squint at her words.

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked back after taking a moment to try to make sense of her question...or more so, of her statement.

"I...I mean," Peyton said letting out quite a long sigh. "Today, and everybody, and us...and a big dinner so they all could meet her. I...She had a nice time, she did, and I can't tell you just how happy that made me, but..." She trailed off for a second biting slightly her bottom lip. "Today...This morning, I almost made her watch 'Miracle on 34th Street' because that's what people – what _parents _do in thanksgiving with their kids...but then...then I thought how clichéd that was and in the end she ended up watching a Charlie Brown movie_, also_...about thanksgiving that was just as clichéd and that..."

"You don't like the movie?" Lucas asked feeling completely at a loss at Peyton's ramble.

"No," She replied trying to keep her voice soft, but still squeezing her eyes shut a little as though she was a bit exasperated he hadn't get her yet. "The movies weren't the point, I don't care about them, but...everything...I – Luke, she...she's just not ours." She said softly letting out yet another sigh. "And soon enough they are gonna take her back, and I just don't think it's fair with her for us to let her get attach to all of them when chances are in just a few months or weeks or whatever she's not going to be able to see them anymore, I..." She trailed off uneasily once again looking away from his eyes for a moment, and instead burying her head even deeper on his chest. "I...I guess what I'm trying to say is that...I don't want her to get attach to them because I just don't want her to miss them once she's not here with us anymore..."

Lucas stayed in silence for a moment or two just looking down at her eyes before he let out a long sigh of his own, and for some reason, tightened his hold on them both. "You'd rather keep her here only waiting until the day they'll come taking her back?"

"No," Peyton replied simply, yet firmly, before Lucas could even finish asking the question. Of course she didn't want that. "No...Not at all. But, I still don't wanna see her hurting either...She has lost enough as it is, and I just...wish I could save her from losing even more than she already have."

"She'll be winning too, you know? Even more than what she'd lost. Don't forget that you..." Lucas tried to soothe, forcing her –_gently_– to meet his eyes, and patting playfully the tip of her nose along with his words. "When she's done with us she'll be going to a family...she'll be winning ultimately and that's what you should care about. You are the one who's giving her the chance to have that and so much more. That is all that should matter. Being part of a family, _our_ family...even if it is only a make-shift one as ours is always a gift I simply know that little girl is appreciating." He said shifting his eyes down for a few seconds looking at JJ. "You're letting her know how in spite of everything she can still trust that a person..._you, _any of us, is gonna be there looking out for her just the very same way her mom would..."

"I love you," Peyton interrupted him mid-sentence with a chuckle he matched instinctively. "And about all of that..._we_," She corrected pointedly. It wasn't just _she_ who was doing all that load of things he had said, it was _them_.

The two of them.

"_We_ indeed," Lucas agreed with yet another chuckle of his own. "I...She'd be a part of this family for...a week, a month, or even a year, I don't care about that, and I know you don't care either. She's gonna be here for as long as she's going to be, but we...we are not worrying about tomorrows, but about today's, and the fact that she even teased Jamie today for getting cake all over his face. The rest...shouldn't bother you quite yet. We'll deal with whatever comes next when it actually comes," He said firmly in what seemed to be one breath only. "We are _not_ kidding anyone; we are just doing what we are doing because that is what we want to do. And Peyton," He called up looking pointedly down at her eyes. "I love you, too," He added and she simply had to laugh a little.

"We are actually doing this," Peyton noted quietly a moment later when their snickering had died slightly already. "We're really taking her into our family," She said looking up firmly into his eyes.

Lucas could only nod his head in response. "We are...all in, right?" He asked and Peyton simply matched his motion with her own head.

"All in."

* * *

**AN : **Got any thoughts about this chapter?_!_? I hope you do! *hihi* It was a little all over the place, I wanted at least a bit of everbody POVs, failed getting Nathan's into here, but you still got a good bunch including _Juliaaan._..What do you say? Should he get with Brooke here? Or...dunno, maybe getting in between LP bringing a bit of drama? OR : none, just in case you don't like the guy at all! hehe..I kind of do anyhow *lol*

Anyway, that's an open question until I can make my mind...still torn, so if you can say "Brooke" "LP" or "None" I'll appreciate! *hihi*

Hope you've like this, and thank you all so much for reading!


	9. You Get What You Need

**Author's Note : **You'll have to wait a little bit longer (until the next chapter) to know what I decided to do with Julian-boy! Thanks for your input though...it's a little divided but it did help me! *hehe* So happy I even got this time a li'l review from "Bendecida82" I have to say it, I _really_ hope you update _soon_ one of your stories!**!**! *hihi*

Anywho! Hope you all like this chapter too! There's some P+the girl time, and some LP fluffy stuff for you all too!It was quite a fun chapter to write nonetheless! *lol* I guess you'll learn a few things you wanted to learn after this chapter *hehe*

**Enjoy!**

**You Get What You Need**

* * *

She had lived by herself the better part of her life. She had been alone in a big house more times than the ones she could actually count. But...that wasn't really a bad thing all the times. She had gotten used to that quiet and silence that '_loneliness_' represented. Or at least, she had gotten used to hear only her very own thoughts and whatever sounds only _she_ could make.

That _'way of life_' changed for Peyton not so suddenly, yet, when it eventually changed, she hadn't been completely aware of just how much until it really snapped in her one day.

One thing was sharing the house with Brooke when they first moved back to Tree Hill; they lived together, they shared the same house, _yes._ Yet, they didn't precisely share a_ life_ together. She'd realized the difference just a few weeks after she had begun to live and share her whole life _with_ Lucas.

It had felt a little weird at first…even her slightest of routines had changed simply because... because of _him_ really. It sounded a little too clichéd in her mind, but it was the truth anyway; it wasn't just _she_ anymore. It was the_ two_ of them. Her room wasn't just hers anymore, the bathroom was always more Lucas' than it was hers; they shared the toothpaste... the toilet, the towels at times...They now just shared stuff..._everything _at some point.

She _even_ began to share her very own silence.

By that day, Peyton had pretty much got used already to Lucas' every sound; he would always wake up before her, and even though he'd always –_well, most of the times_– tried not to wake her up too in the process, sometimes he just didn't manage to be as careful as he thought he was being. But even so, in those times he'd wake her, she'd managed to learn all the little noises he made that actually made him, _him_. He'd tend to be a little too clumsy at first, stumbling upon all and every supply in the bathroom cabinet. She actually had listened him just standing in front of what she assumed was the mirror patting his cheeks every so often.

If she was careful enough, she could swear she had even been able to hear his far too loud thoughts and worries from her side of the door sometimes. She had always known he liked to worry, especially worry about _her_ for some reason, and being completely honest with herself, a large part of her actually loved that part of him more than...some other parts.

Still, even though it had been eight days or so since Peyton had been actually living with JJ too, she hadn't had the proper time to get used to her little sounds quite yet. She'd noticed though how most of the times JJ would try to be as quiet as she could; walking slowly and very carefully as if worrying something bad would happen if she only stepped where she supposedly shouldn't. Peyton was not a psychologist or anything such, yet, for some reason, through time she had learned to see fear whenever she saw it in someone else's faces; lately, especially in JJ's face.

She had also gotten used to at least twice a night, be up next to that little girl's bedside, taking her into her arms, and singing sweet little nothings into her ear until she was calmed enough to be put back on her bed. Tonight however, that had been different and in all honesty, Peyton had worried more than she thought was possible when nothing happened that night.

Her eyes fluttered open at three o'clock in the morning _sharp;_ the first few seconds she had only made sense of how early it was, and how she was sure it was going to take everything in her to go back to sleep.

The moment she closed her eyes again –_attempting in vain to drift back to sleep_– for some reason she'd seen Jennifer's eyes staring back at hers as if accusing her for forgetting about her for that split second. After that, she hadn't cared one bit if she jerked Lucas awoke when she hurriedly jumped off of their bed. Her heart had started beating at a pace she hadn't felt it beating in a very long time already.

She had worried out of her mind; dreading something terrible had happened to that little girl she was just beginning to get used to share her life with.

However, after quickly entering into JJ's room, she had let out the longest of breaths. She hadn't even known she had been holding it until she saw JJ –_for the very first time, really_– sleeping peacefully in that bed.

She was curled up in the tightest of balls, hugging tightly at the little stuffed animal Lucas gave her once upon a time in the hospital. For the first time, her breathing wasn't sharp, and her body wasn't heaving upon aftershocks of her cries.

She was simply asleep.

Not tears staining her chubby cheeks, or screams and cries escaping her lips; she was just sleeping in that way Peyton hadn't know until that moment just how much she had wished she would.

She'd stayed in the dark of JJ's room for the longest of time; how much, she really couldn't tell, but it had been enough to bring to her every bone in more than one way, such peace and serenity.

That feeling had only lasted until she stepped out of the room anyway. She was supposedly heading back to her room, she was determined to attempt to get that same sound sleep JJ was having that night, but in any way, soon enough, before she could even reach the deadbolt with her hand, her body had let her know just how it had _oh-so_ different plans for her that night.

Before that time, she had only feel that same feeling while being dealing with quite a hangover, or because she was simply sick and unable to control anything that was going on inside of her stomach.

Tonight that had been different, yet alike...She'd spent, at the very least, an hour and a half bent down on the toilet, letting out all the things she was sure she hadn't even ate.

It had been six thirty-seven in the morning when she had been startled by the small sounds…better yet, by the rumbling of JJ walking down the hallway and into the kitchen where Peyton had been for the last hour or so. She had been there just musing over the fact that she had been awake for over three hours, and how now the _idea_ of going back to sleep was certainly quite an illusion.

She had jumped a little on her chair when she'd felt JJ walking closer to her; but in any case, she had then smiled sincerely when she saw into her sleepy eyes.

In all honesty, there was really _nothing_ scary in that little girl's face.

She was actually pleased when she saw into JJ's face, and saw nothing other than a small smile and her arms still wrapping tightly to her stuffed animal.

None of them really said something for some good few minutes; all Peyton did was pull JJ up onto her lap, and hugged her tightly to her chest…It had felt as though the two of them were just quietly celebrating the fact that no nightmares had filled JJ's dreams that night.

At least that was what Peyton chose to believe; JJ still have another three plus hours left of sleep, but in any case, the fact that she'd reached six in the morning without cries or screams, had been for some reason, the biggest victory Peyton had overcame with JJ so far.

She had smiled to herself after a good moment, and leaned down kissing her head as any mother would have kissed her own daughter, and it had felt _right_.

She was proud of her whether she was her own kid or not; she was proud of her nonetheless, and she certainly wasn't one not to let the girl know just how very much.

"No bad dreams," JJ called rather quietly, yet carrying with her voice that same hint of sweetness Peyton had so gladly got used to already. She lifted her head up, meeting slightly Peyton's eyes and it was as if the one thing they could do was smile in each other's direction.

Peyton nodded her head a little squishing playfully her nose up. "No bad dreams," She echoed with a chuckle before leaning forward and nuzzling tenderly her nose against JJ's forehead.

JJ matched her chuckling -_faintly_, yet Peyton was sure that could well be her favorite sound coming out from that girl's lips.

She then just stayed still for a moment or two, just looking down into JJ's sparkling green eyes before her smile changed for a goofy twist of her lips. "What wake you then? It's still pretty early," She said playfully, not wanting for a second to sound patronizing or anything.

"You did," JJ replied pointedly, before turning around in Peyton's arms, and meeting her eyes properly at last. "Did _you_ have a bad dream?" She asked fairly concerned only causing Peyton's heart to warm a little bit more.

"No baby, I didn't have any bad dreams either," She replied with the tenders of smiles painted on her face. "Just was a little thirsty," She justified simply, gesturing the girl to the cup of ice-tea that rested upon the dining table.

"Good," JJ said simply before resting her head back in Peyton's chest.

It was _both _their victory, and in all honesty, there really was _nothing _wrong to feel good about it and celebrate it for the time being.

They could never be sure about all the new problems tomorrow maybe had ready for them, so celebrating little victories simply seemed as the right thing to do.

For both of them.

* * *

He had jumped out of his bed fearing the very worst...Actually, much alike the way Peyton had when she first awoke that morning. However, just as it did to her, all his worrying feelings had changed for relieved feelings the moment he stepped into JJ's room, and his eyes saw the picture of peace in both girls' frames.

Peyton was a bit uncomfortable though, he could tell that much, but in any way, her lips were curled upward in that very same way he just loved.

Quietly, not wanting to startle her or JJ for that matter either, Lucas knelt down on the floor next to Peyton, and slowly rested his hand over the small of her back. She didn't want to wake up; at his touch, she actually buried deeply her face on the side of JJ's bed, but at the small kisses he started dropping to her neck, she took a deep breath, and slowly turned her head so that she was meeting at last Lucas' eyes. "Morning," She mumbled sleepily, twisting goofily her lips to one side.

Lucas simply smiled, and without really thinking about, he just leaned down kissing her '_Good Morning_' properly. "Morning," He mumbled back against her lips, and had to match the small chuckle that escaped her lips after he pulled away.

He loved the way her laughter echoed in his ears _every_ time...It really didn't matter she was trying to muffle the sound with JJ's covers.

After a moment of just staring into her eyes, he settled his back against the side of the bed, and pulled Peyton to his side. He let her rest her body over his chest, and simply started stroking her every bit. He'd never be full amazed of just how much he loved that girl. "Did she have another bad dream?" He asked softly tucking behind her ear a few unruly –_really messy_– curls.

"No," Peyton said quite beaming, and shaking her head strongly from side to side. "No nightmares, and not a _single _tear last night," She noted with one of the truest smiles Lucas had ever seen in his girl's face.

He took a deep breath, and then simply matched her smile. He could see there, crystal clear just how just very happy JJ's little victory actually made her. "I...That's awesome," He agreed before leaning down and kissing her lips once again...honestly, he did so just because he wanted to.

As they pulled away a moment later, Peyton couldn't really stop smiling, and simply settled with being in his arms, and feel as if nothing else really mattered.

However, the moment Lucas' eyes fell into a squint; she had to narrow her own eyes as well. "What?" She asked pouting just a little bit.

"Um, why are _you_ up then?" Lucas asked back pointing out the obvious. If there were no nightmares, there really was no reason for Peyton to be, pretty much, sleeping on the floor at JJ's bedside.

"Oh, that," Peyton said flashing quite a grin in his direction. "_Your_ bug inside_ me_, kind of didn't let me sleep...like at all," She explained raising her eyebrows, as if really expecting for him to reply something...anything really.

"Oh," Lucas settled simply with a sheepish grin after a moment.

Peyton chuckled at his word, as she also nodded her head pointedly. "_Oh_... right," She said smirking before now leaning up herself, and dropping a kiss just a little more passionate than the prior ones had been to his lips.

All in all, she actually was happy. Despite morning sickness, and little bugs starting to mess with her body already, she was happy, and nothing was going to take that away from her at that moment.

"She said she dreamed with her mom," Peyton spoke softly a moment later from his chest. She felt him nod his head so she continued. "She caught me in the kitchen after I was done…with the bathroom," She grumbled playfully."But, um…then she told me what she'd dreamed instead of nightmares. She said her mama was in a white dress like in a garden with white roses or something. She said it was actually '_pretty pretty'_," Peyton parroted quietly, yet letting a small chuckle escape her lips. "She said her mom told her that she was going to be okay, and JJ said she trusted her. I...She didn't have any bad dreams, you know?" She said still unable to take the smile off her face when she looked up at Lucas' eyes. "Then I brought her back to the bed, and... I promised her I stayed with her until she was back to sleep '_just in case'_, but then I guess..."

"You fell asleep too," Lucas filled in for her, kissing her yet again, before lifting his head and sending a playful wink in her direction. "I'm glad."

"Yeah me too," Peyton agreed quite quietly, and actually struggling to come up with anything else in response.

She was just glad indeed.

"It's almost nine o'clock," Lucas informed her breaking softly the nice silence that had settled in the room. For a little while all he could hear where JJ's breathings from the bed, and also Peyton breathing steadily against his chest.

"Mmm," She mumbled without meeting his gaze, and wordlessly letting him know she kind of still wanted to go back to sleep.

Lucas chuckled, but couldn't help but shake his head. "Come on, we should get up and do something fun with the little one…I think she…"

"Yeah, me too," Peyton agreed giggling before he could even finish saying his statement. She knew what he was about to say anyway, so it really was okay she cut him off. "I think she'll use the little fun today before going back to school, but …"

"What?" Lucas interrupted her shifting his own eyes down at her still closed ones.

"I'm still not sending her tomorrow," Peyton explained rather nonchalantly, missing the way Lucas' eyes rapidly fell into a squint at her words.

"Why is that?" He asked back trying to sound just as casually as she spoke to him, but he still wasn't sure just how much he'd succeeded.

After a few seconds, she chuckled at the question, so maybe he'd failed more than just a little bit.

"Because it's Monday, Luke," Peyton pointed out the obvious opening reluctantly her eyes at last. "I'm not sending her back a _Monday._ You do know just how so much better it'd be if school weeks started on Tuesdays, so…tomorrow she's mine, on Tuesday, well…then I guess I'm okay with School having her," She said seriously, although inwardly she was maybe laughing aloud at her own words.

Lucas stayed quiet for a moment as though sinking in what she had said. However, not two seconds passed by when a goofy grin had already grace on his lips. He honestly loved her logic. "I guess I'm okay with that," He said with a small chuckle, she couldn't not match. "But…" He said softly calling her attention again before she could snuggle back into his arms. He still needed to ask about that 'something' she had just said and that was still ringing in his mind. "Are you? Really?" He asked simply, yet she narrowed her eyes as if demanding a little more of information. "Okay I mean... Are you _really_ okay about she going back school already?"

A small gasp escaped Peyton's lips at his question without she really aiming for it. She was okay with it, she was... But maybe she was _a little_ worried about it too. "I don't know, I...I guess so," She said looking up sheepishly into his eyes. Maybe she wasn't all that okay with it, but in any case, she wasn't ready to admit it quite yet either.

"I don't think you are, but for what it's worth, I promise I'll call her teacher at _every_ free moment I get just to make sure she's doing okay...I _so_ don't care driving her teacher _nuts_," Lucas said only half-teasingly, flashing at her his best grin after he was done solving all her problems.

That wasn't really a fact, he hadn't solved _all _that was troubling her, but he still liked to believe that at least he'd helped solve _one _of her problems_._

All in all, it wasn't as if she really had so many. She –_they actually_– just like to worry a little too much over things sometimes.

Whatever the case was, after a moment, Lucas had to smile proudly when Peyton's lips curled upward into a genuine smile.

He'd done well.

She still was looking up thoughtfully into his eyes and he wasn't sure just _'Why'_

"What?" He asked with his eyes squinted, and with confusion written all over his face.

Peyton wanted to laugh, she really did, however, she settled with a sheepish smile. "What about you?" She asked back maybe a little too cryptic for his taste. "I mean...What are _you_ worried about more? Because you are too, I know you," She said firmly, smirking just a little in his direction.

She knew him _very_ well indeed too.

At her words, yet another _'Oh'_ escaped his lips, and at that, Peyton simply couldn't hold off the chuckle inside her any longer. "Now you're mocking me?" Lucas cried looking down at her, and at her –_futile_– attempts to muffle her chuckles with his shirt.

Of course he didn't want to wake up JJ by being too loud, but she was still mocking him, how could he just stay quiet at that?

"And I'm not worried," He grumbled, moving away a little her face from his chest so that he was in fact looking into those eyes of hers.

Peyton obliged and met his eyes for a moment before yet another chuckle had to leave her lips. "Yes, you are," She stated leaning forward and pressing a nice long kiss to his lips. Ultimately, the kid was still asleep, so there really was no rule applying that regarded PDA.

"I...Yeah, okay...Yes, I am," Lucas agreed meekly against her lips. She chuckled quietly, and he _so _had to match it.

He was of course, a little worried himself as well.

"But," Lucas said drawing her attention back to him. He still let out a small sigh before actually reaching his point. "It is still not that I am worried, _worried_ all right?" He said looking quite firmly into her eyes. "I am excited about the appointment, I...Of course I am," He said shaking a little his head at how obvious that statement was. How could he not be excited? It was _their _bug in the end.

However, after the accident he had just been a little too edgy about everything concerned their future little one. It was okay according to the doctors since it was still too little to be really affected, but in any case, he hadn't actually stop worrying...

Neither had Peyton, and Lucas knew that much.

_Even,_ when she had tried with all her might not to show it.

He knew her _very_ well as well, too.

"So am I," Peyton said a little too quietly, leaning up and dropping yet another kiss right to his lips. "But..." She trailed off hoping he'd catch up and continue, which thankfully he did.

"But yeah...I am also a little worried about it all. I just want things to be all right; not...Not only with the bug, but also with the girl," Lucas said gesturing with his head to the still sleeping little girl by the bed.

"But I guess it'll actually be okay," Lucas said shaking his head slightly after a good moment of silence. "If she is still not ready to be back at school with all the other kids, then we'll go get her, and... we'll try again." He said sounding just the way she needed him to sound. "And...as for the bug, I guess that since he's making you sick already, it means he is kind of okay too, so..." He paused twisting his lips; his eyes goofily darting back at forth between Peyton and JJ. "Just stop worrying. It'll be okay," He said firmly, and Peyton simply nodded her head sheepishly.

Lucas actually did have a point.

"And... now we really should get up, goof," He said fairly teasingly, pulling her up gently from his lap where she'd so comfortably had been snuggled for the past half an hour. He stood up from the floor as well, and simply looked at the pout in her lips. "Tomorrow's Monday and unlike you and JJ, I do have to go to work so I'd really like to enjoy my Sunday with you two..." He said smiling all too sincerely looking into her eyes. "I'll go make breakfast, you get her up," He all but ordered, leaning in and kissing her forehead fondly before moving in the doors direction.

"Hey," Peyton called out before he could actually exit the room. It took a moment, but his words had finally sunk in properly.

"Yeah?" Lucas replied quite innocently from the doorway.

Peyton pursed her lips playfully for a few seconds looking right into his eyes. "The bug, you called it _'He'_," She noted really trying not to smile for some reason.

Lucas remained quiet for just a moment, simply staring back at her before he shrugged his shoulders. "We already have the girl," He let out without really thinking, and actually regretted it a little when Peyton looked down for a second, but... he just hadn't thought what he was saying until it had been a little too late.

He knew maybe that hadn't been the most right thing to say, but it just... slipped out. "I..." He began softly, not exactly sure if he had to apologize or something, but in any case, the smile she flashed in his direction and the way her nose squished up playfully caused him to trail off.

"As long as _he_ doesn't like you better than me, then I guess I'll be okay with it," Peyton said with a chuckle he matched rather relieved. "Now go on...I'm sure she'll be hungry," She said gesturing with her head towards JJ. "And I am kinda a little hungry too," She admitted with a genuine smile before turning in her spot, and face the soundly asleep little girl.

She didn't make a big deal of it...It _hadn't_ been a big deal really.

But...He still shouldn't have said those words.

She wasn't their girl; she was just borrowed

* * *

**AN : **No nightmares & LP+bug fluff? I honestly can't say I didn't like writing this chapter, of course I did! Me going through LP withdrawals= Me _craving_ to write LP fluff chapters! I hope you've like it! Please let me know what you think! **;)**

**PS : **Just so you can start making a little time-line in your heads...that appointment they are talking about is the first _'official_' bug's appointment!** ;)**


	10. Now What?

**Author's Note :** Gosh, I've been meaning to upload this chapter for a few days already! Something _always_ got in the way, but hey! Here it is at last, and I _really_ hope you get to like it! Truth be told, it is a little of a 'jumpy' chapter, but I kinda like those a bit too *hehe*

Anywho, you all gotta tell me what you think if you like it or not. Hope you do though! *hihi* **Enjoy! ;)**

**Now What? {Whatever It Takes}**

* * *

Peyton hated mornings like this one; _hated_ them. If well it was true it wasn't Monday morning precisely, Tuesday had still arrived far too soon for her taste. And on top of things, everything just wasn't going _her _way. Night had passed by too quickly, and morning wasn't as sunny as she once hoped it would be. It was dark, and even kind of cloudy, like if it was going to rain soon. It was in more ways than one, as if the day itself was telling her how she should have stayed at home instead of going out and faced that...world outside.

But then again, maybe the problem wasn't the universe, or the day in particular; maybe that wasn't the problem at all.

Actually, she knew the answer to that very well; her day was frantic already, and it really wasn't because it was somewhat dark, or because she left at home half the papers she had to bring along to the label, that wasn't the problem. In all honesty, it was all because of that tiny little girl that all of a sudden had turned her world upside down.

But that wasn't a bad thing. She wasn't complaining about it, not at all, and not for a split second. She just couldn't understand just why she cared _so_ much.

It wasn't as if the first grade was so scary, yet in many ways Peyton was dreading it was.

She merely ran her way into her office; her purse and coffee mug tangled in one hand, and a stack of papers, and her laptop in the other. She was late, and having miss work for over a month, piled up work was all she had waiting for her atop her desk.

She cursed under her breath when a few of the papers made its way to the floor. She stood still for a moment, closing her eyes a little too tightly but in any case, _choosing _not to stress out over that. She instead then just opened back her eyes, and kept walking further into the office.

She'll pick those up later.

She had to half-close her eyes when a form flipping through magazines was the first thing her eyes caught sight of as she walked across her studio. She wasn't lying when she said she had a lot of work to do, she did, but for some reason...She was now positive she wasn't going to get anything done this particular morning.

"You're here early," Peyton said not really stopping to greet Brooke properly, but rounding up her desk half-meeting her eyes in the process.

At her words, Brooke looked up thoughtfully at the ceiling before a small smile crept on her lips. "Guess the better statement would be; _you_ are here late," She said smirking only a little.

Peyton rolled her eyes slightly, but then she also couldn't help the faint chuckle that escaped her lips. "I'm sorry," She said looking back at Brooke's eyes. "I know I'm late, but...What are you doing here, anyway?" She asked freely, starting to unpack some things off her purse and onto her desk. "Not that I'm complaining though," She added pointedly not wanting Brooke to think at all she wasn't glad to see her.

She wasn't exactly on cloud-nine about the fact, but she didn't have any problem with it either.

Maybe she just wasn't in the mood or state of mind to deal with people today...or at the very least, quite yet.

That had to be it.

"I just wanted to stop by, and check on you," Brooke explained simply shrugging her shoulders. "You okay?" She asked suddenly sounding a heck of a lot more serious than what she had aimed to sound.

Letting out a –_long_– breath, Peyton nodded her head. "Peachy," She said quite sarcastically although she did flash a smile in Brooke's direction along with her words. "I am fine," She fairly sang shaking her head at the look Brooke gave her. "There's just a lot I gotta do, and not that much time," She explained at last taking a seat behind her desk. "So..."She sighed fixing her eyes on Brooke "Are _you_ okay?" She asked back knowing Brooke hadn't come all the way to her office –_at eight-thirty in the morning_– just to check how _she_ was doing.

"Yes," Brooke replied rather rapidly with a nod of her own. "Just wanted to know how you were holding up," She said simply yet not meeting Peyton's eyes.

The blonde just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not a mental case, you know?" She said with a chuckle Brooke naturally matched.

"I know but...It's quite big right?" Brooke tried, twisting slightly her lips.

"Yeah...I mean, I guess so," Peyton said uneasily, with yet another shrug. "I kinda didn't wanna leave her there. You should have seen that little face she made me when I dropped her there, I..." She said with a nervous laugh, shaking a little her head. "I actually wanted to come inside with she and all the other kids just to make sure she was going to be okay, and..."

"You didn't?" Brooke interrupted asking what she actually thought would be just normal. She was only six after all, and going back to those routines she usually did with her mom couldn't be easy.

"No," Peyton replied narrowing her eyes for some reason. "I wanted to, but... Isn't that embarrassing for kids and stuff?" She asked feeling only a _little_ lost.

Brooke chuckled at her words –_and at the face she was doing_– but still, shook her head. "No, not quite yet. She's only six, she probably needed it," She said with a smile that faded all too soon at the way Peyton's face contorted slightly. "I..."

"It's okay," Peyton cut her off simply, yet shaking her head. "Um, and you and Julian, huh? How's that going?" She asked, really wanting to change the subject.

If her head hadn't been the whirlwind it was that morning, Peyton would have even laugh –_and aloud_- at the way her question made Brooke's eyes go wide. "Seriously you thought it was a secret?" Peyton said in her defense. "I'm not blind Brooke, all thanksgiving dinner you two were eyeing each other as if waiting _oh-so_ badly to get out of there and finally meet up," She said rather knowingly _and_ casually, trying to focus a little in the bunch of contracts she had to look over that morning. "I think it is just okay," She said with her eyes still down, when Brooke stayed quiet for more than a few seconds in a row.

"Is it?" Brooke asked fairly cautiously after a moment.

Peyton shrugged her shoulders, and nodded her head looking back up at her eyes. "I guess. He is kind of great once he opens up," She said simply, and almost smiled herself at the way Brooke's lips _so_ wanted to curl upwards as well. He was indeed a good guy when he wanted to be. "Just be careful," She said smiling at last, before looking back down.

Brooke took a breath, but still managed a nod of her head. She honestly didn't want to go into detail about that particular topic quite yet.

"Damn it," Peyton breathed before Brooke could pronounce a word. She shook her head looking down at the papers, before standing up from her chair and walking back to the entrance where she'd thrown yet another bunch of –_important_– papers when she came in.

Brooke stayed put in her sit feeling just a little guarded about what had somewhat set Peyton off; were the papers, she...JJ. "Something's up?" She asked cautiously when Peyton made it back to the desk.

The blonde shook her head, not even attempting to meet her eyes.

"Are you sure you are okay, P?" Brooke asked again, actually wanting badly for Peyton to open up to her for once and for all. She was going to do it eventually; Brooke knew that, she only wished it were sooner rather than later. "You don't seem that okay, you seem kinda jumpy," She noted standing up from her chair, and moving closer to the spot Peyton stood.

"I'm fine." Peyton said with a long sigh, and closing her eyes tightly for a moment. She wasn't lying; she was fine, she wanted to believe that...the interrogatory however, was starting to push her buttons.

Or maybe not so much.

"It's...it is just JJ..." She confessed uneasily a moment later, at last looking up into Brooke's eyes.

Maybe she didn't like the interrogatory, but she actually felt as though she needed to let everything –_or at least some_– of what she was feeling out of her system. And well, since Luke wasn't around, Brooke would have to do it. "Maybe she wasn't ready to be there quite yet, not even her regular teacher was on today, and...You were right, I should have gone inside with her and make sure she was_ actually_ going to be okay in her classroom, but I didn't and now I can't stop worrying. And I know it's just school, you know? But...I don't know, I can't stop thinking about her, and everything that can go wrong," She said feeling actually out of sorts. A moment of silence or two passed by before she started shaking her head slowly. "And I'm also drinking _tea_," She added almost pouting, when her eyes caught sight of her _coffee_ mug filled _not_ with coffee precisely, but instead with tea. She honestly _had_ to roll her eyes at just how "_great"_ her day had begun.

A part of Brooke actually wanted to chuckle, but of course she chose not to. "You're drinking tea?" She echoed after a moment, and actually caused Peyton to let out a chuckle of her own.

A sarcastic chuckle, but a chuckle nonetheless.

"You know that if babies are born before their time the doctors actually _have_ to give them caffeine?" She asked, but didn't wait for Brooke to reply before she was speaking again. "They do, but while there are still in here it's not as if you can't have any, you actually _can_. But… if you happen to do so then they'd all look at you as if you were making the biggest of crimes against the bug because of that sad cup of coffee." She explained shaking her head at just how absurd that sounded in her head. "Oh, and coke too, you know? I know you always heard how you can't drink _caffeine_, but then...I don't know, I thought I was just giving up_ coffee_, but _noooo_…" She let out goofily, yet not laughing at all. "Apparently I can't drink coke either, and it is not as if I like it, I..."

"You don't like it," Brooke filled in knowingly for her. There were things she simply knew for being her friend for ten plus years; that Peyton Sawyer didn't like Coke...or Pepsi, or any kind of black looking drink for that matter, was one of those.

"I don't," Peyton agreed with a nod of her head. "Yet, I'd kill for one right now," She said with a chuckle Brooke matched genuinely.

It would have been just..._perfect_ if that moment with Brooke had last the whole morning. Or at the very least, a little bit longer, however, it didn't, and her cell phone _had_ to ring.

Only mere seconds passed by between Peyton having a smile on her face, to having her face fairly contorted, and her eyes tightly closed while she listened to the other end of the phone.

Maybe a part of her was expecting the call...Maybe that was the reason she'd been all '_jumpy_' all morning, but in all honesty, having JJ's teacher calling her was the very less she wanted.

Or needed.

'_Be right there,'_

Was all Peyton said before she was already grabbing back her purse and keys, and exiting her office with Brooke in tow.

She'd attempted to drive herself, but reluctantly ended up agreeing in how Brooke did have a point, and she really wasn't in the right state of mind to be driving.

JJ's school and her office were at least twenty-five minutes apart. She hated the whole ride; she'd been merely cursing the whole time, _and _car sick, and physically unable to reach Lucas. She hadn't complained one single time, but that morning she honestly started hating just how much that movie was pretty much stealing her husband.

And all in all, she didn't even know why she was calling him; there was nothing he could do to help, she didn't even know exactly what happened, only that she needed to pick the girl up straight away.

Well, she knew that, and also that she was upset out of her mind at JJ's teacher, and in moments like those, Lucas _always_ knew what to do.

She got herself down of the car as soon as Brooke parked and didn't lose a second waiting for her before she was already walking into the school, and honestly, without even knowing where that girl's classroom was. All she was sure of at that moment was that she needed to reach her.

She did so soon enough though, and if she was being honest with herself, it broke her heart in a way she hadn't felt it breaking in a very long time.

JJ's head was down when Peyton spotted her resting her body against the wall outside of her classroom; she must have listened Brooke's heels clicking on the floor because before Peyton could get to her, she was already looking up into her eyes.

It only took JJ a couple of seconds before she started running in Peyton's direction, and climbed her up, wrapping her tiny arms as tightly as she could around the blonde's neck.

"Shush," Was all Peyton said knelt down on the floor, and hugging back that little girl with all she got.

She couldn't help but feel guilty, feel responsible somehow for everything JJ was feeling at that moment. She wasn't sure what exactly that was, but she sure as hell knew it wasn't something good.

She wasn't crying, yet her little body was shaking slightly, and it was just obvious she needed to get out of there.

"I'm sorry." Peyton breathed softly a moment later, pushing away a little from JJ so that she was actually seeing into her glistered eyes. "I am buddy; we'll get out of here now, okay?" She asked simply, and JJ just nodded her head, before burrowing it back in Peyton's shoulder.

Maybe there had been something she could have done so JJ didn't have that hint of sadness in her eyes at that moment. Maybe Peyton could have actually _do_ something...anything, to save JJ from even more heartache, but in any case, she had missed it, and for some reason, she couldn't help but actually be mad at herself for it.

She didn't lose her hold on JJ for one second, but she still managed to look up at Brooke's eyes, and share that sad look the two of them couldn't help but wear in their faces.

It was never supposed to go wrong… yet, it had, and now all Peyton could do for JJ was taking her out of there, and hoping with all her might she could find just that _'something'_ that would make it all alright for her again.

Even if it was only for the time being.

One thing however, Peyton had wanted badly to do before leaving the school that morning. She hadn't done it anyway, and that had been because as she told herself, JJ was more important than herself at that moment.

Yet, the fact that JJ's teacher, whatever her name was, because in all honesty, Peyton couldn't care one bit what name that was, the point was just how coldhearted she must have been to have the heart to practically humiliate JJ in front of her whole class after everything she had gone through.

Okay so maybe Peyton was a _little_ biased, but that didn't mean JJ deserved been punished for something Peyton couldn't bear to think she'd done. Not a thing bad enough could cross Peyton's mind, that was as bad as to make the teachers practically kicked her out of the classroom because she was allegedly '_rebelling_'. It sounded even more ridiculous every time she thought about the teacher's words over the phone. She was new, yes, but they were talking about JJ for Heaven's sake! The girl she had in her arms wasn't a girl who was in any condition to rebel herself or be even slightest disrespectful towards a teacher... or towards anyone for that matter.

Taking one long, deep breath Peyton simply shook her head, and kissed her girl's head as if wordlessly reassuring her she hadn't done anything wrong. Because truth be told, Peyton was absolutely sure she hadn't.

After reassuring Brooke she was okay now at least knowing JJ was safe and sound with her, Peyton had dropped her brunette friend in the doorsteps of her store, and then headed with JJ to the one place she could think at that moment that would certainly take her tiny head off the morning she had had.

Actually, _both_ their minds, but she kind of didn't want to admit that quite yet.

They really didn't speak for a good moment, but Peyton still managed to make her crack a small smile every now and again.

Now however, JJ's eyes were firmly fixed on her, but not precisely with a look of joy painted in her face.

"What?" Peyton asked turning her head so that she was meeting JJ's eyes, and in truth, stifling more than one chuckle at that disgusted face of hers.

"That's gross," JJ said rather sincerely, shaking her head a little bit from side to side.

Peyton bit on her bottom lip with a soft smile but shook her head as well. It was not gross at all. "It is not, you should try one..." She said offering the girl a fry just dipped into her vanilla ice-cream.

"Ew, no!" JJ replied chuckling, and moving away to the other side of the bench so Peyton couldn't actually reach her.

"You can't say it's gross before you have even try it, so there...Just _one_ Jay," Peyton said genuinely having a hard time fighting back laughter. What was so gross about her ice-cream...and her fries? Both were actually pretty good.

JJ's mouth opened a little as she continued to shake her head. "Uh, no, thank you," She said before chuckling once again, and then trying a little of her _own_ ice-cream. "I got mine, thank you,"

Peyton rolled her eyes playfully, but didn't even attempt to hide her smile. Who knew a couple McDonald's ice-creams and a park was all she needed to make that girl smile. "Your loss, kid," She said rather boldly eating at last the fry she'd offered to JJ.

A nice silence fell between the two of them as they ate their respective goodies. JJ moved back after a moment to her spot right next to Peyton, and even rested her head on her shoulder as both looked over at the few kids that were actually playing in the playground before them.

"Not even one?" Peyton tried softly one more time resting her own head against JJ's.

"Nope," JJ replied simply with a smile Peyton didn't manage to see, but that she still offered.

'_What happened?'_ Had been in the tip of Peyton's tongue more than one time since they've left the school together. She wasn't complaining at all for the company, but she couldn't help but wonder just _what_ had happened, and just _why_ JJ had ended up sitting behind her instead than in school.

Peyton couldn't be sure if JJ could actually read minds or something, but in any case, just when she'd wanted to ask the question again, the girl had spoke softly first. "What's a foster kid?"

Peyton didn't like the question though. "A foster kid?" She asked back pushing away slowly from JJ so their eyes were meeting. JJ simply nodded her head. "Why?" Peyton asked back instead of replying again.

She wasn't sure why, but she honestly didn't want to answer it.

JJ shrugged her shoulders, narrowing a little her eyes.

"Come on, I can't tell you what you want to know if you won't talk to me," Peyton said simply and actually a lot more softly that she was aiming to sound. Maybe she just didn't want to scare her or something.

"They say I'm one," JJ replied fairly uneasily, with her lips twisted, yet never losing Peyton's eyes from hers.

"Who?" Peyton asked once again, for some reason starting to feel angry at whomever '_Who_' was.

"At school, Peyton," JJ simply replied with yet another shrug of her shoulders. "Billy Jones said that," She added at Peyton's still questioning look. "He told me that when all your parents die, and you're alone, and nobody wants you, you become a foster kid cause someone has to look after you anyway," She explained in a small voice, but still looking firmly into Peyton's eyes.

In more ways than one, it was as if with that steady stare she was somehow demanding for the truth. "First of all," Peyton began a moment later. She took the napkin JJ was holding in her hands after she'd finished her ice-cream cone, and gently wiped her tiny lips before pulling her a little closer to her side. "You're not alone baby," She said looking down firmly into JJ's eyes. "You have many, _many_ people who want you and care for you, kid...You got _me_... and Luke, and Nate and Haley, and Brooke, and…it really is just as if you are our family too, okay?" She said, sweetly patting JJ's nose.

The girl simply smiled in return, and slowly nodded her head.

"But..." Peyton continued just a few seconds later. "Sometimes people _do_ like to put names on everything, you know? Just as for example if you like some type of music you_ have_ to be some kind of person," She explained but the way JJ was twisting her lips let her know just how she maybe needed to be a bit more clear. "You know how all my records are labeled in one specific way?" She tried with a smile and her eyebrows rose.

Peyton had after all spent a _whole_ afternoon explaining the girl just why she still have vinyl records instead of a '_pretty small iPod, just like Luke's'_ Even though she indeed had her own iPod as she had also showed her that.

"Yeah," JJ replied with her eyes quite wide, and a nod of her head.

"Well, sometimes people like to label other people like that as well–"

"–Why?" JJ asked clearly confused, squishing her nose a bit.

"I don't know Jay," Peyton replied sincerely shrugging her shoulders. "But they do, so sometimes when kids like you need someone to take care of them social workers like yours takes them to people like Luke and I, and just because of that we became your foster parents."

JJ narrowed her eyes for a moment as if sinking in Peyton's words. "But that's not bad, is it?" She asked rather hesitantly.

"No, no it's not." Peyton replied without one bit of hesitation herself, and shaking a little her head as well. "They'd say Luke's your foster dad, and I'm your foster mom, and you're something as our foster child, but...I really don't want you to pay attention to those names, okay? You are staying with us because we wanna make sure you are going to be okay, and because we actually love having you around. The names they want to give us...Those really don't matter. You are just a kid, all right? You really shouldn't care, or pay attention when people call you otherwise or add labels to your name. You're _just _a kid, and a very_ awesome_ kid at that," She said with a genuine smile, and patting JJ's nose playfully making her giggle.

"We're clear?" Peyton asked raising her eyebrows expectantly. She honestly was hoping she'd made her point clear indeed.

"All clear," JJ replied with quite a smile on her face. Apparently, she'd like being called awesome by Peyton.

"Good rabbit," Peyton said with a smile of her own. She took a deep breath but didn't erase the smile from her face as she began asking again. "You wanna tell me what happened today?" She asked really softly, as if a part of her was actually hoping JJ would miss it.

She didn't though, but she didn't seem to be bother by the question either. "I just didn't wanna answer her question," She explained matching the tone Peyton was using and still looking up into her eyes.

Peyton held her eyes on hers for a few seconds as well, before she let out a sigh. "What did she ask?"

"It's...She asked me why she didn't know me, and why I have missed school so many days," JJ said shrugging her shoulders as she explained.

Peyton was about to respond but JJ continued before she could. "I didn't want to answer that, I didn't know her either," She finished and Peyton had to smile a little in her direction.

"You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Peyton said back nodding her own head. "If you ask me, I'll say your teacher overreacted a bit too much, and you know what? _She_ should have known you, you didn't, so...We will still tell her we're sorry and that you just don't like to talk about it, but I'll make sure she apologizes to you as well, okay?"

JJ thought at the question for a moment, before at last nodding her head. "Okay, but..."

"But?" Peyton echoed smiling playfully.

JJ chuckled but put back her serious face only a few seconds later. "But I still wish Miss Addy was still at school," She admitted sadly, and Peyton felt vividly her smile fading at her words.

"We'll ask where she is, and when she's coming back too, all right?" She promised, wanting badly for JJ's smile to go back to her lips.

It came back indeed, and slowly, yet surely, her lips curled upwards after a moment. "Okay," She said once again before Peyton pulled her to her side, and kissed fondly the top of her head.

That was honestly the one thing she could think –_and feel_– to do at that moment.

* * *

He'd come into his home more times that he could remember; once upon a time he'll come in to find his mom in the kitchen doing all the things only she could do. Once he had also come in to find no one, just _his_ silence in _his_ house. In the past year that had changed for the better of course; he had come in to find Peyton _–his wife–_ doing everything and anything in that house that was now _theirs_.

Today however, that had changed a little bit more, and Lucas wasn't maybe completely sure about just why he had loved it so much.

It wasn't Peyton's voice –_or loud music_– that welcomed him, that hadn't been it tonight. Today it had been his wife and that little girl's giggles that let him know just how he was home at last.

Saying the picture of the two of them cocking –_or at the very least attempting to cock_– had melt his heart was clearly an understatement. "Hey!" He said calling up their attention off the soon-to-be smashed potatoes.

Peyton jumped a little at his voice, but in any case put a smile on her face as she looked up at his eyes. "We're making you dinner," She informed with a chuckle JJ matched as she also started nodding her head in his direction.

"We're smashing potatoes!" JJ sang fairly happily, as she kept sticking the potato masher in and out the big bowl.

"I can see that pretty girl," Lucas sang back moving closer to them behind the counter, and dropping two fond kisses to the top of each of their heads. "Smells good," He noted sticking his finger into the bowl only to have Peyton smacking it out of it. Playfully, but still smacking it. "Hey!" He cried feigning being actually hurt. He let out a chuckle, and naturally so did Peyton, and for his luck, even JJ did so as well.

If well it was true he'd got to worry out of his mind that morning when at keeping his promise and calling JJ school to check on her, he'd found out Peyton had picked her up already; now, at that very moment, when he saw nothing short of bright smiles painted on both their faces, he was positive the two of them were okay now, and that simply was enough reason for him to be just as okay as well.

"We kinda wanted to surprise you," Peyton said just a moment later, leaning back against his body. JJ kept smashing hard, and the two of them couldn't really not smile in that moment.

"Surprised indeed," Lucas said kissing softly the side of Peyton's head, and reaching out one of his hands, and playfully tickling a little JJ's tummy.

She giggled on her spot, but not for a split second stopped smashing; Peyton had gave her that _one_ mission after all. She had to do so even if that meant fight back chuckles at Lucas' tickles.

"We were just talking about school tomorrow, you know?" Peyton noted a moment later, _painfully_ moving away from Lucas' hold and closer to the stove instead. "We made a deal," She said with a chuckle not really facing Lucas or JJ, but her _attempt_ of breaded turkey cutlets.

"Yeah, what is that?" Lucas asked, fighting back his own chuckle, and sitting right across from JJ in the counter.

"We agreed we are gonna give school another chance tomorrow, and that this time we are going to do things a little bit different," Peyton began explaining turning around just enough so that she was seeing into Lucas' eyes. "I promised I'll leave her at the very doorway of her classroom, and _you_ promised you'll pick her up at that very same doorway at the exact right time she gets out, not a minute later…"

"Not a minute sooner," JJ chimed into the conversation, chuckling herself a little now. She'd be the one of the _'suggestions'_ after all.

Lucas finally let out a chuckle of his own, but obediently nodded his head. "I can do that," He said simply at last.

"Good," Peyton said nodding as well from her spot at the stove. "You're also taking _us_ this Saturday for a tour through the studio," She informed him letting out yet another bunch of chuckles JJ didn't hesitate to match once Peyton reached her by the counter, and wrapped tightly her arms around her tiny body. "_We_ agreed in that one too," She said smiling in Lucas' direction, and with her head resting over JJ's shoulder. "You are spending way too much time at that studio these days so _we_ just wanna go and see what the whole movie riot is,"

All what Lucas could do was matched their chuckling, and meekly nodded his head one more time. There wasn't really a thing he wouldn't do for Peyton, and seeing the two of them smiling, and even '_conspiring_' against him, only made him wish even more for that life.

And in a way, it was bittersweet. Because a part of him wanted to believe he already had it, but another part kept telling him that not just _yet_.

He knew he'll have it eventually; a life where after coming back from work at nights he'll find Peyton in the kitchen setting dinner –_that if she ever actually learned how to cook_–and that then he'll also see their children beside her, helping her, or making their homework by the living room, or playing, or simply giggling in that very same way Peyton was doing with JJ that precise night he happened to come into his house.

He had always tried to see it as a good thing; the fact that JJ was spending time with them was always something _good_. In more ways than one, she was giving them the chance to have a glimpse of that life they'd have in a close future, but for some reason tonight Lucas felt only a little differently about that fact. He actually started thinking in how the hole that little girl was going to leave in their lives once she found a real family wasn't going to be just a hole a simple glimpse would leave, but a whole lot more than that, and Lucas just couldn't help but saddened about the fact.

He wasn't sure if he should, he wasn't sure if thinking what he was thinking was right or wrong, he only was sure that at that very moment, he'd wished JJ was not only that_ glimpse_ of their future lives, but a part of their whole lives as well.

* * *

**AN : **Hmmm, got any thoughts? I sorta do like this story. Took a bit to really grown in me, but eventually it did, and I can't wait for you all to read the places where I thinking of taking it! *lol*

We're still maybe getting a few more fluffy chapters...I dunno for sure so you gotta wait and read! *hihi* Thanks a lot for reading, and...let me know what you think! ;)

xo


	11. Perfect Little Accident

**Perfect Little Accident**

* * *

"You gotta promise,"

He was being serious, and she had honestly growled back at him. He didn't want to be one of those mushy husbands that couldn't stay away from his wife and kids for the slightest periods of time, but in any case, that annoying feeling in the pit of his stomach made Lucas _almost _understand them.

He didn't want to leave. He was actually wishing he could just stay snuggled in bed next to the woman he loved and don't do anywhere else all day long.

However, as it seemed, the fact that he was going to be away for the –_entire_– weekend, and wouldn't be home until late on Monday wasn't such a big deal for that _'loving'_ wife of his. She wasn't even flinching while he attempted to say_ 'Goodbye'_

Sure, she had said she'd missed him a lot the days before, but Lucas needed her to say it _now_, and actually promise so.

"I'm gonna be late," Lucas informed her grumpily. He sat back on the bed, and simply watched as after a moment, she –_painfully_– rolled on her back and slowly her eyes fluttered open.

"Then you should go babe," Peyton told him rather simply before pulling the covers back up until her chin.

Lucas rolled his eyes, and not waiting a beat hovered over her once again. "I told you I need you to promise it," He repeated her quite pointedly, trying to take the covers off her body so that she acknowledge him for once and for all!

Peyton chuckled at his words, and even though he wanted to be '_mad' _at her for being _so_ damn stubborn, he couldn't help it and simply had to match her snickering.

Before he could even process it, she was already sat up on the bed with both her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. "Of course I promise, Luke," She said _oh-so_ softly against his lips. "I love you so, _so_ much, and I'm gonna miss you more than words can really say," She said rather goofily with a chuckle even though she did mean everything that she was saying. "I promise, I promise, and I…promise," She said laughing pulling away enough from him so that she was seeing into his eyes. "You?" She asked back simply before he could pronounce a single word.

In any case, at her question Lucas had to roll his eyes one more time. She actually was asking that? Really? If he weren't going to miss her would he be doing such riot about leaving?

Shaking a little his head he took her lips into his own one more time, and then just gave her that real passionate _'Goodbye'_ kiss the two of them actually needed.

Peyton was pretty much giggling against his lips, but she still managed to deepen the kiss at the same time as she tangled her hands on the back of his neck and into his hair. "I am gonna miss you," She whispered as they pulled apart at last, and their foreheads met.

She was being serious for the first time that morning, and Lucas actually liked it; she would _actually_ miss him.

"And I _do_ love you," Peyton continued speaking softly, and slightly nuzzled her nose against his. "And you are really, _really_, _really_…going to be late if you don't get your butt out of here already," She said laughing again, and even though Lucas did roll his eyes a little bit, he also had to laugh.

He simply loved her. All of her.

"You're such a tease," He noted trying to sound serious, although he couldn't wipe off the smirk from his face. "

"So?" Peyton replied simply with both her eyebrows rose, and quite matching his smirk as well.

"Ugh," Lucas growled one more time, before leaning down a little on the bed, and kissing her lips softly one more time. "I call you when I get there, and you…"

"I'll call you too if anything happens," Peyton filled in for him before leaning forward herself, and stealing yet another kiss from his lips.

She'd miss him indeed.

"_Anything,_" Lucas echoed pointedly, and Peyton simply nodded her head meekly.

It took him at least fifteen more minutes to say _'Goodbye'_ to her before he moved to the other room in the house, and continued his _'Goodbyes'_ there.

Peyton would be lying if she said she hadn't love just how loud JJ's giggles were that she could even hear them loud and clear in her room.

Not so long ago, actually only twenty–three days ago in Thanksgiving when Peyton had told Haley just how much she thought JJ loved Lucas, she should have known she hadn't been one single bit wrong.

He was amazing with her, and would _always _know just the right to say to that girl at pretty much every moment.

Much alike the way he did with her, and in all honesty, Peyton couldn't help but love him a little bit more every time that he made her smile, or giggle, or yell, or…anything really.

In the past month that JJ had been with them, Peyton had simply grown to actually love every little moment the three of them spent together.

Of course, she also loved the moments she spent with Luke alone, as well as with JJ alone –_as this very particular weekend was going to be_– but the times the three of them shared together, were just by far her favorites.

It actually felt sometimes as if they were a family, and that never –_not even once_– had felt wrong at all.

Today in any case, she had pretty cool plans for her day with the girl _alone_. The things Peyton could actually remember her mom teaching her once upon a time were very few really, but the one she was teaching JJ herself today was with all certainty, the one she cherished the most.

In more ways than one, it had made her who she was today, and she couldn't be any more grateful about it.

"They smell funny,"

Maybe JJ would appreciate it someday too; even if she weren't quite seeing the bigger picture right now.

"They kind of do, don't they?" Peyton replied matching the way JJ was squishing up her nose.

"Yup!" She replied simply yet goofily covering her mouth with both her hands in an attempt to muffle the giggles that were escaping her lips.

She failed though, and Peyton didn't have any option other than to match her snickering a little. "I'll do this with you outside–"

"But outside's freezing!" JJ filled in for her knowingly, and playfully feigning to be shaking.

Peyton let out yet another bunch of chuckles before nodding her head. It was certainly freezing outside. For some reason winter was starting a little sooner this year, but whatever the case was, outdoors or indoors, Peyton was still teaching that little just how the_ 'doodles'_ that filled the house, weren't_ just_ doodles per se.

"Come over here kid," Peyton said from where she was sitting on the floor, patting a little her lap as though telling JJ to sit right there.

The girl smiled at her before nodding her head, and without one bit of hesitation moving and sitting herself comfortable on Peyton's lap, _and_... in front of the still empty white canvas.

Peyton looked down at her with a little smile on her face, and then simply kissed the side of her head before focusing back on the canvas before them. "The paints smell funny cause they are made of oil, but..."

"Oil?" JJ asked lifting her head up so that both their set of eyes were meeting.

"Yeah," Peyton replied just as simply patting playfully the tip of her nose. "These aren't common paints so we oughta be careful, okay?" She said nodding her head decisively as if for emphasis.

JJ chuckled at her motion, but also started nodding her own head. "I'll be careful," She promised meekly, but still flashing the tender of smiles in Peyton's direction.

"Okay rabbit," Peyton said nodding yet again her head before shifting her eyes back to the canvas. "What do you wanna paint?" She asked actually searching for inspiration in whatever words JJ would tell her.

The girl actually thought for a few seconds; her forefinger tapping her chin and everything. She then just looked up at Peyton, and smiled –yet again. "How about something...I dunno, sparkling," JJ tried simply, yet she was in fact serious.

She wanted something _sparkling._

"Sparkling..." Peyton echoed looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully for a moment before shifting her eyes back down, and fixed them firmly on JJ's. "Maybe like nighttime...with the stars..."

"Yeah," JJ interrupted nodding her head, and biting playfully a little her bottom lip. "Kinda like the one we saw, remember?"

"At the hospital, of course I do," Peyton replied unable to keep inside the sigh that escaped her lips along with her words. She certainly remembered. "We sort of met each other that night, huh?" She said trying with all her might to put a big wide smile on her face.

Apparently, she succeeded since JJ in return only kept smiling and nodding her head. "Yeah! Can we paint something like that? I bet it'll be pretty!" She said bouncing slightly on Peyton's lap.

All Peyton could do back was nod her own head at her words. "I bet it'll be pretty too," She agreed chuckling a little. "We'll start with…" She let her sentence trail off as she reached out one of her hands grabbing the palette and a couple of paint tubes.

"Blue," JJ chirped simply following Peyton's hand with her eyes. "The sky is blue," She informed the older blonde with her eyes wide, and a few nods of her head.

Peyton fixed her eyes on JJ's for a moment, before cracking a smile. "You're certainly right," She granted trying to sound serious, although she actually wanted badly to chuckle. "But what else? Is it the sky just…_blue_?" She asked rather expectantly in JJ's direction

The girl widened her eyes at the question, and after just a few seconds shook her head. "Nope," She answered certainly. "It…It has kind of white too, right? And purple too, and...You know when you are at the beach? There it is...It's kinda orange too, and then at nights it also has stars in it, and stars are like…" She paused shifting her eyes down for a moment. "What color are the stars really?" She asked after a beat looking back up at Peyton's eyes.

Peyton simply kept smiling for a moment –_honestly unable to do anything else_– but after just a moment, she started biting a little on her bottom lip as she tried to come up with just the _right_ answer. "I think the stars are also kind of white or light yellow, but here's the secret…" She said raising a bit her eyebrows, and gesturing JJ towards the palette. "The things we see every day aren't plain, you know?" She said looking for a second into JJ's eyes, as she also started putting a little of blue paint on the palette. "Blues aren't just blues and sometimes we forget to see that. When you are painting you have to see everything than the others can't, you know? Like…all the little lights of color people tend to overlook, the shadows, the hide shimmering and the shades, what is behind the glimmer, and…just look," She said taking JJ's hands into her own, and then making her grab one of her brushes, and mix a little bit of blue painting with the white. "If we only put a teeny bit of white into the blue then it'll be a whole new blue. We could put there a bit of red, or even yellow, and just like that, if we only play around a little with all the kind of blues we can make, then I bet our sky would look a heck of a lot more awesome than if we only used _blue_, kid."

JJ looked up pensively into Peyton's eyes for a few good seconds before her head slowly started moving up and down. "Okay," She said chirping happily, as once again a smile graced her lips. "Okay, we'd just play around, right?"

"Yeah," Peyton agreed with no hesitation, and letting out a chuckle. That was actually the whole point.

"But we still oughta be careful," JJ added before Peyton could actually stop chuckling, but she still managed to nod her head.

"Oh, but still…" Peyton called when realization hit her at last. "Here's another secret," She said when her eyes were firmly locked on JJ's. "We really shouldn't be_ too_ careful, okay?" She said simply, but realized she needed to explain upon JJ's confused look. "And it's actually simple, if we do…If we care for _every_ little spot and line that can go crook or anything, then it just wouldn't be really fun, and the whole point of taking a canvas, or a white sheet of paper is to put there what you are feeling, and what you want the world to see, and if we are being too careful then we wouldn't be doing it right, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah I do," JJ replied nodding her tiny head yet again; her eyes darting back and forth between Peyton's eyes, the paints, and the canvas. "I do," She chirped one more time causing Peyton's heart to warm to its every bit for some reason.

"You actually do," Peyton said nodding her own head, and smiling as widely as she possibly could.

The girl actually did get it, and Peyton could tell that much just by the way she was looking over at the still white canvas, but in which she was certainly already seeing that beautiful sky she'd seen in her mind only minutes ago.

She then began doing what she always did; she thinned a little the paints, and then simply put brush into the canvas…however this time, unlike all the other times she'd painted or sketched something before, a little girl laid on her lap this time around, and her tiny fingers were tangled into hers, blending there as if they have simply always been there from the start.

It felt strange; a part of her could _almost_ remember how it was like not to be the one _'teaching'_, but the one _'learning'_ on her mom's lap.

Maybe she shouldn't have done it, maybe it had been wrong, but she simply couldn't help herself, and _had_ to smile at the whole merge of feelings that little girl made her feel.

"I miss going sometimes," JJ said rather softly, but still breaking Peyton a little from her thoughts.

She looked down at the girl, and slightly raised her eyebrow. Her comment was indeed a bit too suddenly.

"To the hospital," JJ explained simply shrugging her shoulders, before she shifted her eyes back to their painting.

Peyton stayed quiet for a moment as though making sense of her few words, before she also focused back on the canvas before them. "To the hospital?" She echoed, still painting, but naturally wanting to know where the heck that little comment had come from.

JJ sighed a little too heavily, but Peyton could also manage to hear the softest of chuckles escaping her lips before she replied. "Yeah, but not the part of the hospital we go," She clarified shaking her head. Peyton nodded so she continued. "There are some other parts, you know? Nicer parts. We went a lot to those with Mommy," She said with her eyes still firmly fixed on the painting. "She said the hospital and all the sick kiddies there could always use the help so she took me sometimes...Some of them were really sick," She said fairly uneasily, but still lifting up her eyes so that she was seeing into Peyton's. "Mommy said that made her sad but that she still knew that was the right thing to do so we have to keep going, I..." Her voice faded slowly, and she began twisting her lips a little bit.

"What rabbit?" Peyton pushed softly looking down steadily into her eyes.

JJ sighed again, but after a beat met back Peyton's eyes. "I wonder who's there to help them now," She admitted shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh," Peyton said slowly, smiling fairly sadly in JJ's direction. "You know I'd take you wherever you like, so if you wanna–"

"It's okay," JJ cut her off with an actual smile on her face, and her nose all scrunched up. "Painting pretty skies with you is not bad," She said giggling, lifting up her hands, and cupping playfully Peyton's cheeks. "You are actually pretty good," She said rather goofily before bursting into chuckles one more time.

Peyton just matched her chuckling, effortlessly really. "You're a piece of something, you know that?" She asked looking down at her before her eyes traveled a little to her side, and to JJ's hands. "Dude, you put paint all over my face!" She cried out playfully, and not even quarter as serious as she had attempted to sound. "Up, up!" She all but ordered taking JJ's hands off her face, and pulling herself and JJ up on their feet. "Look the mess you did on me," She said laughing and touching a bit her face, and all the paint JJ had put there.

The girl moved to the opposite corner of the room, and didn't even attempt not to laugh at Peyton. She wanted to reply something, she did, her snickering just didn't let her and Peyton could tell that much.

Rolling –_playfully_– her eyes, Peyton bent down and stuck her finger in a little bit of paint, and before JJ noticed it, she was already making the girl's face just as sticky as hers was at that moment. JJ tried to fight Peyton and move away from her, but she was only six after all, and even if she were strong enough to do so, her constant laughing probably wouldn't have let her either.

Peyton grabbed her by her waist and sat them both on the floor again tickling non-stop JJ's belly. The girl couldn't stop laughing, and in all honesty, neither could she.

"You didn't thought I'd let you get me all mucky and you'll end up trouble-free, did ya?" Peyton asked still slightly chuckling, but still managing some words.

JJ giggled some more before shaking her head strongly. "You said we got to be careful!" She reminded Peyton with a chuckle trying to lift herself up a little and –_attempting_– to tickle Peyton back.

She failed though, and that simply was because Peyton hadn't stopped one second in tickling _her._ She was simply just enjoying those crazy little sounds getting out of that girl's lips.

"You started it, remember?" Peyton pointed out chuckling slightly too, but after a beat seriousness set back.

At least a bit of it.

"But it's true, we should get those things off our faces before they dry, so...go on get a dishcloth from the kitchen. I…I'll try to fix the mess _you _missy, did," She said all but seriously, lifting JJ up from her lap, and putting her back on her feet.

The girl smiled mischievously in Peyton's direction, before her lips twisted goofily, and she cried an '_Okay_' as she turned around, and attempted to leave the room and do as she had been told.

"JJ!" Peyton called after her just as she'd reached her doorway. JJ turned on her spot, and sent yet another smile to Peyton from there. Peyton remained quiet for just a few seconds staring into JJ's eyes before she did the one thing she wanted to do at that moment.

It felt strange though; she'd only made a real big deal of saying those words one time before, and all in all, it had been only natural, she was saying them to a boy!

Now however, she felt almost as nervous as she'd felt that time for some reason.

"Come here kiddo," She said motioning JJ with her head to come back to the spot Peyton stayed sat put. She dragged the little girl back onto her lap, and hugged her tightly to her chest kissing strongly the side of her head for a few seconds. When she pulled away a bit, JJ looked up at her with her eyes quite narrowed, but still smiling. Peyton stared back at her, and did nothing other but smile as well.

She didn't narrow her eyes per se, but instead squished her nose up, shaking a little her head, as though telling JJ that way she wasn't crazy, she just wanted to tell her something. "I love you, you know that? A very _huge_ much for some reason," She said nodding her head, and kissing yet again the top of JJ's head. "Now go bring me that washcloth for real, pretty girl," She said patting her up once again, and simply smiling in her direction as the girl did so too.

It's not the same saying _'I love you'_ to a grown person than to a kid. The feeling wasn't what was just hitting her; if she was being honest to herself, she could probably say just how she'd loved the girl even before they left the hospital a bit over a month ago, but...one thing was knowing what she felt, and a completely different was saying the words to her for some reason.

It was silly, she was a little girl, and Peyton knew just how much those three little words could express, and how maybe JJ had actually been missing them lately without her mom saying them to her, so... even though she felt fairly silly for making such a big deal of _finally_ saying them aloud, she felt rather better now.

Freer somehow.

And if she could say so herself, she would say how she'd keep saying those little words for as long as that girl kept smiling back in her direction.

It was as simple as that.

* * *

"I, I, I…" Brooke cried rather apologetically from her spot. "I really didn't mean to wake you," She said with a sigh at last turning so that she was facing again a just awakening Peyton.

She sure as hell was hoping her not to be cranky. Or at the very least, not too much.

Peyton rubbed a little her eyes, and after shaking a bit her head, acknowledged Brooke properly at her room's doorway. "You already did," She said simply, yet not_ that_ crankily, just a little sleepily. "I was kinda expecting you anyway," She noted sitting up on the bed.

Brooke narrowed her eyes playfully at her words, and without really knowing why, she had to crack a smile. "You were? Why?" She asked cautiously, moving to the bed, and sitting right on the edge across from Peyton.

"Because," Peyton explained simply shrugging her shoulders. "_Your_ boy's not here, _my_ boy's not here, it was really only natural you came," She pointed our fairly smugly, actually fighting back laugher for some reason.

Maybe it was at the way Brooke's eyes widened.

Actually, it was _indeed _at the way her eyes widened; it happened really fast, and she was even chocking a bit.

"First of all, he is _not_ my boy," Brooke clarified pointedly although she was still coughing.

"And you keep saying," Peyton settled simply, yet already giving in to laughter. "I guess it's okay though," She said casually only a moment later. "You're actually missing him, that's a good thing right? Means things between you and him are actually moving along?" She asked with a small smile, and her eyebrows slightly rose.

Brooke stayed quiet for a good moment; her eyes still wide, and her mouth a bit opened as if she was just ready to reply, but she didn't know quite yet what exactly. "I…they are," She replied simply at last, shrugging her shoulders. "He…He's…"

"I'm glad," Peyton cut her short smiling, and reaching out her hand, squeezing just a little bit Brooke's thigh. The brunette smiled in return, and Peyton simply kept doing so. She seemed happy, and ultimately that was all Peyton needed as her best friend.

It really was okay if it was Julian who was making her happy.

All that mattered in the end was that goofy smile she'd been carried for the last few weeks.

After a beat, Brooke heaved a long sigh but didn't wipe off the smile on her face for a second. "What a mess you two did outside," She pointed out trying subtly to change the subject.

She wasn't bother by it or anything, she actually was simply curious about the mess she'd seen when entering the house.

"Don't look at me," Peyton said defensively, yet smiling sincerely in Brooke's direction. "_She _was the one that made the whole riot in the house!" She argued laughing, and looking over at a sleeping JJ at the other side of the bed. "I know she seems pretty calm and sweet, but the girl is a menace when she aims for it!"

Brooke laughed at Peyton's words, and could only nod looking over at the little girl as well. "Things are going well with her, huh?" She asked softly, shifting her eyes up.

Peyton smiled at her, and just shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno, I guess…She's actually kinda awesome," She granted crooking her head a bit to one side. "Painting neatly is just _not_ her thing," She said with a chuckle Brooke matched effortlessly.

"I can see that," She said only a moment later pointing over at the small blue stains of paint that were filling not only JJ's cheeks and tiny nose, but Peyton's as well.

"Damn paints are actually hard to take off!" She cried playfully in her defense standing up from the bed at the same time. She walked just a few steps to her vanity table, grabbed a bow, and pulled up her hair into a ponytail. "I'll try harder later anyway," She said facing still her reflection on the mirror. "I don't think having those thingies on her face can be that good," She said simply, and even chuckling a little bit.

"It's actually pretty awesome, you know?" Brooke noted seriously, yet keeping her voice soft a moment later.

"What exactly?" Peyton asked turning on her spot so that she was looking right into her eyes.

"Everything you two have done for that girl," Brooke explained simply looking over at JJ for a few seconds. "I still remember the first time I came visit you all here; she was _so _quiet, and hardly made any eye contact at all, and now…I don't know, you two are painting together, and staining each other…she trusts you, and _that_ I think is awesome," She elaborated smiling genuinely as she finished talking.

Peyton stayed quiet looking into her eyes for a moment, before a small smile graced her lips as well. "Yeah, I guess…I'm happy she seems happy," She confessed quietly, without really aiming to sound that way.

"I can bet she is," Brooke settled simply.

"Yeah," Peyton replied softly –_yet again_– before a loud chuckle escaped her lips. "Oh, but still…If Social Services would know just how much ice-cream that girl is getting in here, I swear they'll take her back in a blink!" She cried out laughing, and leaving Brooke with quite a puzzled look on her face. "Maybe that's part of her '_happiness_', huh?" She said finger-quoting in the air.

Brooke laughed at her antics before her head started moving up and down. "Ain't that the truth?" She played along, not even attempting not to smile. "You could stop though, you know?" She said with her eyebrows raised a bit.

Peyton couldn't help but smile sheepishly at her words. "It's kinda all my fault actually," She confessed coyly looking down at the floor for a moment. "I'm the one that gets in the _'mood'_ of ice-cream these days – but like _all _the time, so…If I _have _to get some, so _has_ she, you know?" She said looking sheepishly in Brooke's direction.

The brunette could only laugh and nod her head a teeny bit. "How is _that_ going by the way?" She asked gesturing Peyton down to her own stomach.

She looked down and simply shrugged her shoulders with yet another coy smile. "Okay, I guess," She said sighing without really wanting to do so. "Wanna see?" She asked raising her eyebrows. Brooke simply nodded her head even though she really didn't know what she wanted to see. Peyton smiled, and then just moved opening the top drawer of her nightstand. "That's…_that_," She said almost chuckling handling Brooke the very first sonogram of her bug.

Brooke's face scrunched up as she caught sight of the sonogram, and Peyton just bit nervously a little her bottom lip for some reason. "Last week?" Brooke asked shifting her eyes from the scan.

"Yeah," Peyton replied simply nodding a little her head. "The bug is actually as big as a big-bug right now," She said chuckling before her head unconsciously started shaking.

"What?" Brooke asked matching slightly her chuckling, but also knowing _that_ look on Peyton's face. "Everything's all right?" She asked, and it was almost immediately as the words slipped out of her lips, that her voice softened.

"Yeah, yes it is." Peyton replied with no hesitation, although she was still wearing the look. "I just...I don't know..." She said shaking yet again her head, and moving to the other side of the room.

Brooke waited a moment, but then just smiled knowingly in Peyton's direction. "The girl's sleeping, _I_ am here, you wanna talk, so just do it," She said simply, shrugging one of her shoulders.

She was well aware she was right.

Peyton held her eyes on Brooke's for a moment, before a silly chuckle escaped her lips. "It's...Wanna know a secret?" She asked instead of actually coming clean all too soon. She raised her eyebrows in Brooke's direction, and the brunette simply nodded her head.

Peyton chuckled, and then not missing a beat got herself into the bathroom. "There!" She called from the bathroom door tossing over at Brooke the white little box. "I got at least ten more of those," She said laughing, although it was more of a nervous laugh for some reason.

Brooke held the box in her hands, and could only match her laughing for a moment. "Why do you need all these anymore? You already know you're pregnant!" She cried throwing the pregnancy tests back at Peyton.

She got it, and simply shook her head. "That's the thing," She stressed quietly, looking down at the box in her hands. "It doesn't feel like it sometimes,"

"Okay," Brooke managed simply with a sigh. She didn't know exactly where she was coming, _or _where she was going, but she was still there ready for whatever it was.

"For example last week, um, we...we went for the appointment," Peyton began explaining, and gestured her to the scan that still lay atop the bed. "We were excited, _I_ was, but...I don't know, in the back of my mind I just kept thinking that once they looked in there they just weren't going to find anything–"

"But they did," Brooke chimed in holding the small picture back in her hands. She narrowed her eyes a little, and if she were being honest with herself, she would say just how she was actually a little lost about everything the blonde was saying.

"Yeah," Peyton agreed rapidly, even nodding a bit her head. "And it was awesome, it was, we saw the bug, and we heard his heartbeat, and... I...I just don't know. Sometimes I even forget about it," She said rather quietly looking down at the floor, and heaving a sigh. "It's not as if I don't think about it, or don't feel...you know, we even used baby oil instead of regular turpentine while painting because …of course I don't wanna harm him... it's just that...sometimes it just slips out of my mind, and... how screw up that is?" She asked shaking her head and not meeting Brooke's eyes quite yet. "That's why with all the pregnancy tests I guess..." She let her sentence trail off for a moment shrugging her shoulders. "I guess I just want to make sure it is still there, and hadn't gone anywhere, you know?" She said yet again shrugging her shoulders, and looking up at last into Brooke's eyes.

Brooke stayed quiet for just a moment, as though sinking in her words. After a beat, she simply smiled in Peyton's direction. "I don't think it's screwed up at all," She said quite decisively. "I think you just should give it some time; for starters you still have a long way to go. Stressing yourself out about that now, it's kinda pointless I think...you should just try to enjoy every bit of it while you can P. I…I guess it'll start becoming more real with each day, and week, and month, and once you can actually hold that little one," She said softly, yet firmly, really trying to reach Peyton. "And I don't think you should actually beat yourself up about that, okay? This last month you've had _a lot_ in your head," She said sending at Peyton a knowing look, before looking over at JJ. "A couple months ago you were simply enjoying of your honeymooner– first year of marriage. Then all of a sudden you weren't only pregnant, but also into a car crash and taking care of a girl that is not even yours...I actually think it's impressive you've had time to worry about this all at all," She said chuckling a little, as if trying that way for Peyton to crack a smile.

Even a little one.

It happened indeed, and after just a few seconds of thinking over Brooke's words, a small smile tugged at the corners of Peyton's lips. "I guess," She said simply letting out a quiet chuckle. "I just don't want the bug to think I don't care about it, because I do, I really, _really _do, and–"

"I think you're beating yourself up over _nothing_," Brooke cut her off firmly. "Hear yourself, you are just telling me how much you care already about that teeny thingy, I guess the fact that you're worried about what it might feel or not is what is gonna make you a good mom," She said sincerely, nodding her head a little bit. "If you ask me, I say you already are,"

* * *

"Tell him you do Jay; pull him out of his misery!" Peyton said laughing; more so into the phone than into JJ's ear.

JJ chuckled sincerely at her words, and then after a beat put on her '_serious_' face again. "I miss you too, Lukey, I promise I do," She said _oh-so_ sweetly to the other end, and Peyton simply had to smile _–even widely_– dragging her into her arms, and kissing fondly her chubby cheek.

When JJ was done talking with _'Lukey'_ she –_sadly_– handed the phone over to Peyton. "I promise too, Luke," She said goofily laughing when JJ did so too. "But I...I actually _do _miss you," She added softening her voice. She leaned back on the bed, and just allowed the girl to rest herself over her body as she kept talking with her guy.

_Their_ guy in more than one way actually.

"_I know you do goof," Lucas replied rather knowingly into the phone. That really was no secret to him; she could joke about it all she wanted, but the fact that he wasn't right there by her side actually sting a little._

For the two of them.

"_You do know I miss you too, right?" He added upon realizing Peyton wasn't one to respond straight away. He could actually see her smiling coyly at the other end of the phone._

"Yeah, yeah I do." Peyton replied quietly; JJ lifted up a little her head meeting slightly her eyes, and she genuinely had to force herself to smile that time.

It was silly, they hadn't even been away from each other for a whole day; yet she was missing him as if he had been away for months.

Maybe it were the hormones kicking in again. Either way it was not a good feeling.

"_Got the picture of my living room and the girl by the way," Lucas chirped quite happily trying to take Peyton's head off those sad thoughts he knew very well she was thinking about._

Peyton shook her head a bit, but couldn't not let out a chuckle at that. "Today we really did have fun, I..." She paused looking down a little as JJ's eyes were slowly closing. "I think I would have died out of boredom if she hadn't been here...or at the very least gone crazy with the silence!" She said laughing_ but_ only half-jokingly.

"_I guess I have yet another thing to thank that girl for, huh?" Lucas asked also only half-jokingly. A big part of him was immensely glad his girl didn't have to be alone and that was all thanks to JJ. "This is actually pretty quiet without you two in here...I...I... almost, almost- all right?" He stressed pointedly before confessing. "Don't laugh at me, but I...I kinda almost went out and 'hang out' with Julian tonight,"_

She knew he said she shouldn't, but she simply couldn't help herself. "You should have gone, Luke," Peyton said laughing but really trying to sound firmly anyway. "He talks a lot; he would have kept your mind off of things..."

"_Yeah like what things? You?" Lucas tried matching her laughter instinctively. "The guy would probably start talking about you the whole time, so no, no thank you, I'm just fine right here..."_

"You know he wouldn't," Peyton argued back when her snickering died down slightly. "He's kind of with Brooke now, you know that,"

"_Yeah I do, and that bothers you?" Lucas asked actually taking her aback at his sudden seriousness._

"You're kidding me right?" Peyton said back trying to keep her voice low since JJ was drifting off to sleep, but she wasn't there quite yet. "I was..."

"_I know, I'm tired, you should be too...I'll call ya both in the morning, okay?" Lucas said simply, yet heaving a sigh along with his words._

Peyton stayed quiet for a moment, before she also sighed. "Okay," She said quietly, shrugging a bit her shoulders even though she was well aware he wasn't seeing her_._

"_Okay, I...I love you, and I'm sorry, I just miss you," He said trying to sound a bit less broody now._

Peyton nodded her head, and let a small smile –_sad_– tugged at the corners of her lips. "You too," She said simply before after a beat adding needlessly the obvious. "I love you, too."

* * *

**AN : **I know where I wanna get, I'm just not sure how to get there so chapters like_ this _happened *lol* Hope you've liked it anyway! Let me know what you think** ;)**


	12. Just Say… Oops!

**Author's Note : **The better part of this chapter has been written for months actually! I remember writing it one afternoon with no electricity *and thunderstorms, and not even my laptop working* I wrote it literally on paper. That was certainly a new *lol* The thing is that all last week my dilemma was in find the so-called notebook I've wrote it on. Thankfully, I DID find it! *Ha!* And now you got the chapter ready to read it just how you should have early last week if only my room wasn't such a mess! *lol*

Anyway, I'm rambling already, I know! Hope you all like this chapter anyhow!** Enjoy! ;)**

**PS : Happy ****Thanksgiving everybody!**

**Just Say… Oops!

* * *

**

"Why?" JJ asked with a pout Peyton simply had to smile at. She was never the kind of child that asked for too much, or pouted every time she didn't get what she wanted. Yet, today was different, and Peyton understood why.

She'd never failed her. Not for the forty-five days she had been living with them. Since the moment the girl had started school properly again, Peyton had held true to her promise; she was the one that drop her at the very doorway of her classroom, and Lucas was the one that pick her up in the afternoons. They had a system, and it worked.

Yet not today.

It was a fact JJ would maybe find it a little hard to understand, but Peyton still didn't. She understood, and she sure as hell hoped that to be enough.

"Just because baby…Luke's going to take you to school today and you…" Peyton said playfully pointing at JJ with her forefinger. "And I will meet here in the afternoon." She continued, and tried quite hard to keep her smile properly set on her face. "I promise you I'll help you with your homework _just_ like always then, pretty girl," She said before her smile fast changed for a twist of her lips when JJ beat her, and twisted hers first.

"But why?" The girl asked again before moving just enough so that Peyton could hold her into her arms.

Needlessly to say, she didn't hesitate one bit in hold JJ as close to her body as she could, and kiss all too strongly the side of her head when the girl leaned against her body. "I just gotta stay here today," She explained looking down at the girl wrapped into her arms.

"Can I stay with you?" JJ asked far too softly, and with her eyes fixed quite stubbornly on the floor.

Peyton couldn't help but smile sadly at the question. '_Of course'_ was certainly on the tip of her tongue. She couldn't say it though. "Winter break starts this Friday already, you'll stay with me then," She almost chirped, and smiled sincerely when at her words, JJ allowed a smile to tug at the corners of her lips too.

If well it was true the girl definitely wasn't like all the other children –_at least according to Peyton_– that still didn't mean she was going to be the exception this time around; of course she was looking forward to winter break _just_ like any other kid would.

After a moment, JJ slowly started moving her head up and down in assent. She waited a beat, but then just turned around in Peyton's arms, and stared at her quite sweetly before dropping a small kiss upon Peyton's cheek. "I'll stay with you then," She echoed with the sweetest of smiles painted on her lips before pushing away completely from Peyton so that way their eyes were meeting just the way they should. "I love you, too," She said simply and with that very same smile she had been wearing for days. She then shrugged her shoulders and looked in the door's direction when Lucas' voice carried from the kitchen.

Peyton didn't really have time to respond to her little comment. Before she actually knew it, JJ was dropping yet another kiss to her cheek, and running towards the door.

Luke had called her for breakfast after all, why wouldn't she oblige, right?

The girl still –_obliviously more than likely_– left Peyton sitting by the bed with the echoes of her words running through her mind time and again, and in all honesty, she was left there with her eyes _slightly_ glistered as well. Yet, this time, for a change, her eyes didn't fill with tears for the wrong reasons.

They did it for the right reasons; for the greatest of reasons at that.

* * *

"I…" Lucas began as he entered his bedroom, but had to stop in his track only mere steps further. "See, I thought you were running late cause it was taking you longer to get _dressed_, not precisely because you actually needed help getting out of your PJs," He said as casually –_and serious_– as he could sound, but naturally he failed.

Given the way she was curled up in the bed pouting in that overly cute way she did, it was nearly impossible for him not to smile at the sight.

She didn't say anything back for a moment, but just helplessly shrugged her shoulders.

"You showered right after me, you got me the girl ready, you packed her backpack, you…You should be out of here with her in like ten minutes," He pointed out upon her silence.

Her _persistent _silence.

She wasn't serious though. That was the one reason why Lucas wasn't worried at this _'sudden'_ change of routine. Just like him, she hadn't stopped smiling since the very moment he walked into the room.

When she did the small attempt to snuggle deeper under the covers, Lucas let out a chuckle, and moved all too fast to her side. He somewhat laid on the bed, wrapping his arms around her body and resting his chin over her side. "Do you care if I snuggle here with you then?" Lucas asked far too innocently looking right into her eyes.

She was fighting back the urge to chuckle, and Lucas could tell that much.

He still tried as hell to keep his so-called serious front.

"If you're planning to stay here, then I can always do so too…"

Well, yes, he wanted to be firm and serious and tough, it…it was just hard when she was looking so darn adorable.

"You know I can just go drop the girl, and then come back here with you, or…" He trailed off for a second peppering a few couple of kisses to the side of her neck.

Honesty, simply because he couldn't help himself.

Once he was serious enough to go back talking, Peyton rolled slightly onto her back so that their eyes were meeting properly for the first time.

"Or maybe she could stay too; we aren't that much of the uptight kind of parents anyway. Now, are we?" Lucas asked, and at that, the two of them gave in to laughter for a moment.

They certainly were _not_.

Peyton was laughing too, she was, yet, by any means she wasn't noticing Lucas chuckling, but also moving even closer to her at every chance he got. After a moment, they reached the point when Lucas was mainly wrapped into Peyton's arms, and he had _oh-so_ comfortably burrowed his head in the crook of her neck.

She looked down at him curiously the moment his chuckles died down slowly, and so had hers.

"So we're staying?" Lucas asked feigning innocence, and far too quietly for some reason.

Peyton however –_even though a little bit painfully_– shook her head _'No'_. Being completely honestly, she didn't know why she'd done it. She wanted him to stay, she actually did, yet he couldn't.

In any case, Lucas could read her quite well, and without moving an inch from her arms, asked what he needed to ask. "Why not?" He asked simply even though he was almost putting.

"You need to get to work, and JJ has to get to school, that's why," Peyton replied all too pointedly and smirking slightly at the look on his face _and _at the way his jaw dropped.

"But you are staying, and you got to work too," Lucas fought back in that childlike way Peyton simply couldn't not laugh at.

She pushed away from him, but still not a second stopped smiling.

Honestly, she couldn't.

"You are right, _I'm_ staying," Peyton explained plainly. "I…I have too," She added, and Lucas couldn't miss the way her voice softened at the end.

"You okay?" He asked just as softly, reaching out his hand and resting it upon her cheek. He smiled when she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

"Yeah," Peyton whispered still with her eyes softly closed. "I just don't feel like going out today,"

"Okay," Lucas said cautiously, and with a sigh he simply couldn't keep inside. "Can I do something for you? Breakfast maybe? It is already served, I can bring it here for you if you'd like or…Or are you sick? I mean, you know…? The..."

"The bug's just fine and not really making me sick today, so really Luke," Peyton said going back to sound a little too serious. She anyhow cupped sweetly his face with both her hands, and smiled in his direction as she did so. "I am fine," She insisted strongly one last time before dropping a sweet kiss to his lips, and just like that, with no other words, she snuggled back under the covers with her back at him.

Was he worried? The answer to that question was certainly an understatement.

Of course he was.

She wasn't like that. His girl was pretty much a work addict – in a good way of course, but she still was. She never really skipped work unless it was with _him_. She was an outdoors kind of person, cooped up inside the house all day _"just because"_ simply didn't go with her.

Either way, Lucas couldn't think in something he could actually do for her other than oblige her wishes, so he settled, and simply did then what he almost never did in the mornings; have JJ with him in the backseat of his car as he drove them both to school.

Yet, he was also driving with the feeling of that little voice echoing in the back of his head telling him all so often how maybe something was actually wrong.

He still made it through the day making sure to call Peyton every so often and even if she said it wasn't, he was still blaming a little that bug of theirs. After all, that was what bugs did, right? They make their mamas sick and tired at times.

He was hoping it was just that anyway.

Lucas arrived back to his home around five o'clock in the afternoon. Today Peyton had asked Brooke to pick JJ up from school since he had dropped her off, and Peyton simply knew just how much he really needed to get done with the movie before the holidays.

He hadn't argued really. Truth be told, he was actually rather swamped so Peyton actually did help him.

However, the moment he put one foot inside the house, and his eyes caught sight of JJ sitting by herself in the dining table eating quite nicely –_but alone_– a real big bowl of ice-cream, Lucas had gone back to his worried mode for some reason.

The simply wasn't the way things were.

It was Wednesday afternoon, JJ should be doing her homework, and Peyton should be helping her.

She _always _did.

Lucas still tried not to make a big deal out of it just in case it really wasn't. Quietly, he closed the door behind him, and walked towards the dining table kissing JJ's head before sitting across from her.

"Hey Luke," JJ was fast to greet, even though her voice carried rather soft and coy since she had actually just been "_caught_" with her hands on the goodies.

"Hey to you too, pretty girl," Lucas sang back unable not to smile at such cute little girl JJ was. "What'cha doing here by yourself?" He asked not wanting to ask directly for Peyton, but still hoping for the girl to give him a bit of fast information.

JJ didn't quite catch it quite fast at first anyway.

"Eating ice-cream silly," The girl pointed out with a chuckle Lucas faintly matched. "But oh…" She called goofily when realization hit her at last. "Brooke told me not to wake Peyton, but to eat quietly here until she wakes up on her own," JJ began explaining all too seriously, and nodding her head along with her words too. "She said we should let her get her sleep now that she still can," She parroted Brooke words to the letter, nodding even strongly her head.

"Oh," Lucas said simply, yet maybe a little too thoughtfully.

They did indeed have a point.

JJ chuckled slightly at his face before sticking the spoon back into the bowl. "Do you want some?" She offered reaching the spoon out in Lucas' direction. "I took all the peanuts out already," She added with a small giggle.

Lucas smiled and honestly, he felt as though he couldn't not oblige. JJ had after all taken all the peanuts out because of _him_.

In any way, as soon as he thanked the girl for the very yummy 'Peanut-free–ice-cream', Lucas kissed strongly the side of her head again, and then headed towards his bedroom.

At first, he only peeked his head inside to see that blonde of his with his very own eyes.

Not really for his surprise –_well, maybe yes, but just a little bit_– he stepped into his bedroom to find Peyton soundly asleep on their bed. She was wearing one of his tee-shirts. That was obvious, and she genuinely seemed floating on that big thing. She still looked quite cute sleeping the way she was. She was curled up into a tight ball in the middle of a pretty big mess she'd more than like made. There were papers, her laptop, even books scattered all around her as she slept.

_That_; hadn't been too surprising. His girl was messy. He had always known that and in all honesty, he kind of loved that about her anyway.

The fact that she was still in bed the very same way she was when he left her, well…_that_ was surprising.

He moved to the bed next to her wrapping one of his arms softly around her waist, and burrowing his head into her tangled mess of curls. She stirred a little at the intruder in her bed, but not too surprisingly, she stayed with her eyes closed and only let out a few undistinguishable grumbles Lucas took in as just her way to tell him how she was still sleepy.

In any way, she did need to wake up…it was after all a little past five o'clock in the afternoon. Lucas wasn't sure, he really couldn't know, but for the way things looked, she'd been sleeping for much time than the one she's supposed to, so in the end, he was actually doing her a favor. If he didn't wake her up now, then how was she supposed to be sleepy at night when she is actually supposed to be?

In truth, Lucas was just looking out for her when he decided it was time to get up.

Of course, she wouldn't be one to see things the way he did, but Lucas still knew he was right.

He really was.

"You stayed in bed all day?" Lucas said softly right into her ear, not really questioning her, but more so stating a fact.

"Not_ all_ day," Peyton corrected him speaking just as softly as he was. She waited a beat, but then just flipped onto her back for a moment before making Lucas lay down next to her so she could rest upon him just as she wanted.

They stayed quiet for a good moment; Lucas gently stroking her back, and dropping kisses to her head every once in a while, and Peyton simply finding that sense of peace his arms on her always gave her.

"The better part…?" Lucas tried again asking his question quietly into the air, before lowering his head and fixing his eyes down on hers.

She stayed quiet at first, but then just couldn't stop the silly smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. "I went for food and snacks to the kitchen," Peyton informed him rather coyly after a moment of mulling over his words. Her eyes stayed closed though, but her hands did find the fringe of his shirt. "Went to the bathroom a few times too…" She added, and at that the two of them had to chuckle.

When his snickering slowly died down, Lucas simply smiled to himself looking down at her still closed eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked trying as hell to sound casual and nonchalant. He knew he had failed though. He knew that just as much as he knew she'd heard every bit of concern his voice was carrying.

Peyton waited a moment to respond, snuggling closer to his body as though needing the closeness. "Everything's okay," She replied sincerely with a sigh at last. "I'm glad you're home though," She noted looking up into his eyes for the very first time that evening. "Where's the rabbit?" She asked and he had to chuckle.

"Right outside," Lucas informed her with a nod of his head. "She's eating a snack but I guess I should be…"

"That's okay," Peyton cut him short letting out yet another chuckle. "I'll help her get her homework done in a little while. I told you I'm all right, remember?"

"Do," Lucas replied obediently before leaning down his head, and giving her lips a tiny kiss. "But are you sure? I…um, I kinda worried for you all day, why…why didn't you go to work?" He asked sounding a little more serious than he had originally aimed to sound.

He had said the truth though. He had worried all day long for that girl before him.

"I just…" Peyton began, but trailed off goofily biting her bottom lip. "I kinda didn't fit," She explained rather uneasily avoiding his eyes for some reason.

"Fit?" Lucas let out instinctively, without thinking one bit. "Fit where? At the office?" He keep trying with his eyes squinted and feeling far too lost about her words.

"Nope," Peyton replied with a small chuckle. Lucas however, stayed just as quiet and serious as she continued to explain. "I kinda…my clothes," She said with a pout she was sure he'd missed– _he didn't though_– and also gesturing him towards the open cupboard at the other end of their bedroom. "I swear I tried them all and they just wouldn't close," She confessed before burrowing her head all too deeply into his chest, and at the same time letting out that good bunch of chuckles she'd been keeping inside all day long.

And _that_ time around, Lucas couldn't help himself and _had _to match them.

Everything was okay indeed.

"You should have told me," Lucas said laughing, yet trying not to do it. He pushed away from her only enough so that he was seeing into those green eyes of hers. "So, you really didn't…_fit_?" He asked fighting with all his might yet more chuckles, and also unconsciously shifting his eyes down and fixing them on her seemingly still flat stomach.

"Nope," Peyton replied smiling sheepishly in his direction. "Been wearing skirts and dresses all week long in the middle of December, haven't I?"She asked with her eyebrows raised. He had after all made his point clear about how much he was enjoying that very fact only a couple of days ago.

"You have indeed," Lucas said with a small chuckle of his own. "Is…–But that's awesome, right?" He stammered out, not even trying to wipe off the goofy grin that graced his lips at that moment. "You know…in spite of not…fitting?"

At his words, Peyton chuckled but also nodded her head a few times. "It kind of is," She agreed matching his grin. "Guess the bug wouldn't be a bug for that long, huh?" She asked chuckling before Lucas bent his head down, and took her lips into his as she kept giggling against them.

She had said earlier how things were okay. In all honesty, things were a whole lot more than just okay.

Lucas was sure of that at that moment.

"I thought I hear you two laughing," JJ noted rather playfully from the doorway. They broke the kiss with smiles on their faces at her voice, and JJ began patting all too '_pensively_' her chin with her forefinger.

Peyton looked over at her from the bed, and simply snuggled deeper into Lucas' embrace patting a little bit the bed too. "Hop on pretty girl!" She said smiling sincerely in JJ's direction.

The girl couldn't stop a giggle from escaping her lips, but after just a few seconds of thinking over the idea, she did as she was told, and hopped on the bed crawling her way as closer to Peyton and Lucas as she could. "Buggy's bugging you again?" JJ asked all so innocently looking up at Peyton's eyes a little bit. She wasn't silly; she'd heard them talk about the '_bug'_ a little too often. She really wasn't sure who it was; she just knew it make Peyton sick at nights sometimes.

"Um, not really bugging," Peyton said smiling down at her, and with her nose all squished up. "He's just…" She let her sentence trailed off for a moment looking up herself at Lucas. Letting out a small chuckle she looked back down at JJ's eyes. "I dunno, I guess he's just growing rabbit," She explained simply, hugging the girl even closer to her chest, and kissing fondly the top of her head.

Lucas followed her lead, and wrapped his own arm around both _'women'_ snuggling them as closer to his body as he could. He kissed the side of Peyton's head, and tickled a little the side of JJ's belly. "I think I wanna stay here today," He said sounding just a little sleepily, attempting to lean back on the bed with JJ and Peyton in tow and everything. "We'll just snuggle, it'll be fun," He added simply when the two girls could only laugh in return.

Peyton however, waited a moment to turn around slightly so that she was meeting his eyes. "I think we _so_ could stay here the rest of the day," She agreed with a chuckle JJ and Lucas matched effortlessly. "We'd make our homework later, right Pretty girl?" She asked looking down at JJ with her most genuine smile painted on her face.

"Sure," JJ replied without one bit of hesitation. "We'd make it all later, Lukey," She reassured Lucas looking up at his eyes before snuggling deeply into both their embraces.

Peyton nodded her head looking up at Lucas as well, before she pulled the quilt up covering that way the three of them. Four really, and for the very first time actually, the bug didn't feel as an idea anymore but like something that was _actually_ happening.

Something that was real.

If her Wednesdays, school weekdays or whatever, were '_doomed'_ to be led that very way; she holding tight onto a girl she'd grown to love, and at the same time being held by the man she loved the most in the world, then Peyton was sure life couldn't be all that bad after all.

It was simple, there was no glimmer, or need of power, or celebrity, or any other sort of vain things, it was just_ that_ moment, with the _'three'_ people that made her family, that she was feeling as happier as she had ever felt.

She could well start thinking in tomorrow…or in just later that day actually; there was no dinner made yet. JJ would probably have to stay up past her bedtime if she actually wanted to get her homework done by tomorrow. Peyton still didn't have any clothes to wear the next day and she certainly needed to do something about that. Lucas more than likely needed to get things done for his movie as he always has, but…None of those things really mattered at that moment.

It didn't really matter at all.

What mattered was that little smile Peyton was seeing down on JJ's lips, or how cute she seemed toying with the fringe of Lucas' shirt, or how tenderly one of Lucas' hands was–_maybe unconsciously_– resting on top of her own stomach.

Those were the little things that _really_ matter, and being completely honest with herself, she was way more than just okay with that.

* * *

**AN : **I watched 616 the other day, and suddenly I got a few too many ideas of _'bonding'_ time between the three of them! *hehe* It got my inspiration to this story running, so I already have like half next-next chapter written, and it's actually kinda nice writing them all fluffy. Have I ever mentioned how much I like that? The thing now is to wonder how much longer can that fluff last, huh?

Anyway, almost forgot to answer "Reader" little comment in last chapter's reviews. First off, thank you so much! Constructive criticism to the win! *hihi* Now…I really don't know. I guess the point is not to say "baby" per se. Here in my family we've been from "Peanuts," passing through "Bugs" and "Pickles" and "Pumpkins" and "Monkeys" to "Sissy" and just "Sweetie." So the bug thingie is really just a nickname **;)**

Thank you all so much for reading!


	13. Almost Normal

**Almost Normal

* * *

**

"Thanks," Peyton said simply and all too quietly by the doorway. She wanted to chuckle at the little feet echoes that rang into her ears, but if she did so, the delivery guy would more than likely think she was crazy, so she kind of fought it back, and simply smiled.

Smiled rather widely, but_ just_ smiled

Maybe she should have turn around right away, see with her own eyes just how wide JJ eyes were, but she chose to stay put for a few seconds just waiting to hear what she was going to say.

Peyton couldn't be sure what _exactly_ was that that she going to say, but she certainly was sure the girl would say something.

Anything.

She_ always_ did.

"Whoa," JJ breathed at last, and at that, Peyton let out her chuckle. She turned around slightly, and simply looked over at JJ with her eyebrows a little raised.

"That's one_ very_ big gift," JJ said biting playfully her bottom lip before running her way to Peyton at the door and helping her pulling the big box into the house.

"It kinda is, huh?" She asked looking down at JJ and simply had to let out yet another chuckle at how big her eyes still were.

"Yeah," JJ said simply before matching Peyton's snickering a little bit. "Santa sure came early for you," She noted just as they reached the living room, and Peyton laid down the box on the floor.

"Actually it's not really for me," Peyton explained trying to sound serious, but she was well aware she was failing. The wide grin on her face was simply impossible to wipe off.

"For who is it then?" JJ asked casually, as she sat down on Peyton's lap as the two of them faced _'the present'_.

Peyton looked down at the girl for a moment before shrugging helplessly. "I'm kinda thinking is for the bug," She said _almost _laughing.

JJ chuckled at her words, and instinctively burrowed her head in the crook of Peyton's neck just like a little rabbit would. "I didn't think bugs _so_ tiny get presents," She said still giggling, and slightly meeting the older blonde's eyes.

"I didn't know either, but apparently they do," Peyton agreed with a smile, and her nose all squished up looking down at JJ. "You wanna see what is in there?" She asked kinking her eyebrows, and the girl didn't hesitate one bit in nodding strongly her head.

"Sure," JJ said simply already moving a bit closer to the box. She stopped in her tracks though, and slowly turned around looking at Peyton's eyes. "Are you sure we can? I mean...Christmas is not yet," She said quietly, and with her lips twisted slightly.

Peyton pretended to be thinking for a moment, before a _'defeated'_ sigh escaped her lips. "I guess we could open _this_ one," She said scrunching her nose. "I don't think Santa would mind, and... I don't think the bug would either," She explained, really fighting back a chuckle.

JJ looked thoughtful though; her eyes were darting back and forth between the big present and Peyton's eyes. "I don't think they'll mind either," She agreed at last when curiosity got the best of her.

Peyton chuckled sincerely and nodded her head at her words. She agreed... Of course she did. "Then let's have at it pretty girl," She chirped fairly happily moving JJ from her lap so that she could help her open the box and reveal what Peyton sort of already know what it was, but having in mind how priceless the expectancy in JJ's eyes was, pretending she really didn't know either was rather fun.

"W-What is it?" JJ asked pouting only a little bit; her eyes were narrowed, and she honestly didn't know what she was seeing.

That was priceless as well.

"Crib, Buddy," Peyton explained simply; JJ however, seemed a little confused still. All she was seeing was brown thingies that resembled everything _but_ a crib.

"Like for the bug to sleep in?" JJ asked again uncertainly. She waited a small moment before moving back closer to Peyton.

"Yeah," Peyton replied simply gathering her into her arms, and placing her gently back on her lap again. "We still gotta pull it together; looking like that we can't even think in put the bug in there, can we?" She said tickling a bit JJ's belly, and chuckling herself when the little girl did so.

"I guess not," JJ replied simply shaking her head from side to side. "I'll help!" She chirped standing up from Peyton's lap and moving right in front of the box. "But...Um, how I'll help?" She asked after just a moment, and yet again, Peyton had to chuckle.

Being completely honest with herself, she didn't know _'How' _either; the instructions were in Italian after all.

* * *

"You know, if you keep making those faces I'm gonna start thinking you like Peyton more than you like me," Lucas noted as seriously as he could sound and most important, _not _chuckling. As he had grown to realize in the last fifteen minutes, _that_ was hard.

The girl had said herself she wanted to stay with _him_, she did, she was exited...Sadly for him, that excitement only lasted until the moment Peyton stepped outside of the house with Brooke in tow and not with her.

Honestly, he didn't take it personal; they had gotten close in the last couple of months and he was okay with that. They had grown to know every little bit of each other and that was a good thing in his eyes.

It made him feel good for more reasons than only one. He loved every time he saw them hugging, or sometimes at nights, if he was lucky enough, he would even catch a little sight of Peyton saying her '_Goodnights'_ to JJ. He'd grown to love the way she would _always_ give the girl that sweet, soft kiss right in the middle of her forehead remembering her time and again how she would be right in the next room if she needed anything.

_Anything._

Peyton would always stress that last word, and Lucas...he believed in her just as much as he knew JJ did so too.

In any case, the fact that the girl had worn a pout on her lips for as long as they had been alone was something he needed to fix.

More often than not, playing goof would do the trick and make her smile.

That was simply all he needed from her, and not really surprisingly, only a few seconds after he had stopped talking, bit by bit JJ replaced her pout for a tiny smile.

She looked over at Lucas with her eyes narrowed a little before she stood up from her spot on the couch, and walked her way to the couch across the living room where Lucas was. She stood right in front of him, and simply looked at his eyes with a small smile as if waiting for him to do the obvious.

What he always did.

And sure enough, Lucas knew what he had to do, and simply did so. He stretched his arms out and pulled her effortlessly onto her lap. JJ didn't say anything for a few moments, and neither did he. Lucas just wrapped his arms around her small frame, and JJ simply rested her head over his chest as she'd done all so many times lately.

"I like you too, Luke," JJ promised softly at last. She shifted slightly so that she was meeting his eyes.

"I know you do, little goof," Lucas said, playfully patting her tiny nose, and flashing his best grin in that girl's direction.

At his touch, JJ let out a good bunch of small chuckles, and just reburied her head in the crook of his neck. "Where she went?" She asked quietly even though she actually did know where she had gone.

Lucas let out a small chuckle of his own at her words, and then simply looked down into her eyes. "To the mall...You know how Brooke said she _needed_ new clothes?" He asked fighting back yet another chuckle.

JJ's eyes went wide at his words, and she also had a hard time fighting back laughter. She had –_very clear_– hear Brooke_ demanding_ how Peyton needed to stop her 'silliness' and go on and buy clothes she could actually wear. "I do," JJ replied nodding a little bit her head. She looked up quietly at Lucas' eyes for a good moment biting her lips slightly.

"What?" Lucas asked a little lost as of the '_Why' _she had stopped talking all too suddenly.

That was one of the things he had also learned of that girl. She couldn't stay quiet for more than a couple of minutes.

She honestly couldn't.

"The clothes are for the bug too, right?" JJ asked pushing away a little from him so that she was sitting properly on his lap.

"Yeah, kinda," Lucas simply replied nodding his head, although still feeling kind of lost.

"I, um...maybe we could make something for him too," JJ suggested quietly; she started playing a little too nervously with her hands, and Lucas simply had to smile.

"What do you mean Pretty girl?" He asked kinking playfully his eyebrows.

JJ looked at his eyes thoughtfully for a moment before slipping down from his lap, and taking his big hand into her tiny one. "It was a secret," She informed him looking up into his eyes, as she walked them both down the hallway.

Lucas just nodded his head looking down at that little girl he didn't even know why he loved all that much. "It'll stay a secret, I promise," He whispered back at her.

JJ nodded her head at his words, and led the way towards her bedroom. "Me and Peyton were working on that this morning," She explained as she opened the door and revealed her really messy bedroom.

Lucas let out a –_small, really small_– chuckle, and then put on his serious face again looking down at her. "I don't think the bug can sleep there quite yet, can he?" He asked looking down expectantly.

JJ twisted her lips and from the doorway looked over at the actual crappy-done _'crib_' she and Peyton had managed to put together. "We ain't good making bugs' beds," She explained, looking up uneasily into Lucas' eyes.

He earnestly studied her tiny features and smiling down at her was simply the _one_ thing he could do. "I guess I could help you," Lucas chirped rather goofily, lifting her into his arms in one fast movement, and placing her up onto his shoulders securely. JJ started giggling instantly but Lucas was almost sure he managed to hear a _'Yeah'_ from her lips between her giggles. "We could surprise Peyton ourselves, huh?" He asked aiming to look up at her eyes.

JJ rested her hands at both sides of Lucas' head, and leaned forward when he spoke again. "We could," She agreed playfully, and smiling quite brightly. "I bet she'll like it, I...I think she actually was a little sad when we couldn't," She noted twisting a little bit her lips again.

Lucas softened his features at her words, and then simply smiled back in her direction. "You're kinda awesome, you know that?" He asked simply, and smiled even wider when a light pink graced on JJ's cheeks. "But you know what? So I am, and Peyt, and even the bug too, so..." He let his sentence trail off looking over at the _'crib'_, before looking back up at JJ's eyes. "I think we have work to do, pretty girl," He pointed out rightly, and JJ simply started giggling from up there.

He was right. They had a lot of work to do indeed.

* * *

"So she didn't like shopping?" He asked simply, and with his eyes –_supposedly_– focused on the railing they've been trying to put together for about an hour now.

They usually didn't ask her about her mom unless she wanted to talk about her. That was for more reasons than just one, a touchy topic between JJ and them. It wasn't as if she was bother when someone asked her about her mom, the polar opposite actually, she'd speak for hours at the time about all the things her mom was and did.

The problem however was what happened next; what happened that very same night's day in which she had spoke about her mom. Sometimes she would have nightmares again, not that often if Peyton did her magic well, and by all means made sure JJ was peacefully asleep before leaving her bedroom.

But some other times, more often than not, every time JJ happened to reminisce about her mom; whether happy memories or not so much, later the day the girl would be the picture of sadness. And in all honesty, that was something, not Peyton, not Lucas couldn't really take.

She'd remain fairly quiet for the rest of the day, and usually in need of just a bit more of skin-to-skin contact. If Lucas happened to come back after work and find JJ _quietly _snuggled in Peyton's arms, he would instantly know they had talked about that girl's mom.

It was no secret she missed her. Peyton had in fact told JJ one morning, at breakfast actually, how every time, every single time that she missed her mom she should tell her that much. And the same way, Peyton had promised JJ that every time _she_ missed her moms _–any of them_– she'd tell JJ as well.

The girl had agreed smiling, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt, and they all knew that.

Maybe that was a way of coping, for the two of them. Not hiding out those feelings inside themselves, but instead telling them to the one person they knew could understand what it really meant missing someone so much.

Lucas didn't feel left out of that bond they shared; he also had that person so he understood. In fact, he would also actually say that to Peyton whenever missing him hurt a little too much at any day, but in any case, he was well aware Peyton knew much better how to handle JJ when it was about her mom's affairs.

That didn't mean however, that when he was home alone with the girl they didn't talk about her mom if she wanted to, they did, Lucas just still knew it would go better if Peyton were there too.

Yet, today she wasn't, but if Lucas could say so himself, he'd say it was going _okay_.

"Nooo," JJ replied, goofily shaking her head from side to side. "She said that most people were lazy-butts that let all their Christmas shopping for the very last minute and she said that wasn't right," She said almost chuckling, but still _'helping' _Lucas put the rails in its place.

Naturally, Lucas matched her chuckles, and couldn't help but agree. "I think she was _absolutely_ right," He said firmly locking eyes with JJ. "I don't think Peyton is being very keen of the crowds right now, you know?" He said nodding a little his head.

JJ matched his motion understandingly. She had gone shopping with Peyton a few times already; she definitely wasn't very fond of shopping either. "The bug still needed the clothes, didn't he?" She asked biting a bit her lower lip.

Lucas laughed at her words, and couldn't help but nod his head in agreement. "He certainly did," He said knowingly, and not lying one little bit. There was not a part in his body that wasn't thrilled every single time his eyes caught sight of Peyton's tiny bump a little bit bigger every day, but that still didn't mean he was pleased with how hard it was really getting for Peyton to find clothes that _really_ fit her.

She wouldn't complain that much, but simply settle laughing, and _'blaming'_ it all on him. Lucas would more often than not agree and take the _'blame'_, but in any case, having Brooke coming over today; first promising how as the very first Christmas gift for her '_god-baby'_ she'd make a ton of chic maternity clothes for Peyton, and then second, actually convincing Peyton to go shopping for once and for all, hadn't been a bad idea at all.

The bug _actually_ needed the clothes.

"We are almost done..." Lucas noted when his snickering died down slightly. He looked over at the crib, and then thoughtfully in JJ's direction. "Now all we need are..."

"More screws!" JJ yelled rather excitedly, before a bunch of chuckles escaped her lips.

Lucas would have instinctively matched her chuckling if it hadn't been for the sound of the back door closing. "Go back out!" He cried from the living room hoping Peyton would hear him and not ruin their surprise.

Just in case, when he heard her laughing from the other end of the house, he sent one of those _'looks'_ down at JJ.

The girl giggled but didn't hesitate one bit in running out of the room, and meeting Peyton halfway by the hall. "You can't come in!" She cried out, literally lunging forward onto Peyton, and wrapping both her arms tightly around her neck when she had already crouched down on the floor to greet her "It's a surprise, you can't see yet!"

Peyton didn't say anything for a moment, but simply hugged JJ back, giggling herself into her hair.

If well it was true shopping two days before Christmas hadn't left her in the best of moods, that wholehearted hug JJ gave her surely put her back in the very best of moods. "I won't come in, sweet girl," She promised softly into JJ's hair.

The girl didn't let go of her, but simply nodded her head in response; both her tiny hands tangled already into Peyton's hair, and her head already resting comfortably on Peyton's shoulder.

The older blonde remained there crouched on the floor for another good moment. She simply rested her own chin over JJ's shoulder, and hugged her tightly the way she hadn't for the three hours or so she had been away.

"I missed you," JJ whispered really softly Peyton almost missed it. She didn't though, and in all honesty, the girl had just stolen the three words she was about to say herself before JJ spoke.

"I missed you too, Pretty Girl," Peyton whispered back, pushing away a last from her. She made sure both their set of eyes were meeting before she offered JJ the sweetest of smiles. She had missed the girl indeed. "I see you and Luke are having fun, huh?" She asked kinking her eyebrows playfully, and looking over at the living room a bit.

JJ followed Peyton's eyes, looking over behind herself, and then turning to look back into Peyton's eyes with a sheepish grin spread across her lips. "Yeah, but...you still can't come in," She reminded Peyton, playfully shaking her head.

"I won't," Peyton said just as goofily, also shaking her head as she began standing up from the floor. "I heard you though," She called already on her feet, but never losing JJ's eyes from hers.

The girl looked up at her confused for a moment; she narrowed her eyes, and simply didn't know what to say.

"The _'S'_ word," Peyton pointed out really fighting back a chuckle, and keeping her smile as little as she could.

At her words however, JJ's mouth opened slightly and her eyes went wide as if she had been caught saying something she really shouldn't have said, and in a way she had, but Peyton didn't know the whole story yet. "Luke said it was okay to say the _'S'_ word today," She explained biting a little her bottom lip.

"He did, huh?" Peyton asked back raising expectantly her eyebrows.

JJ nodded her head, but she was still a little bit nervous, and Peyton could tell that much. "He said bug's crib needed a ton of screws!" She chirped rather happily before both her hands flew to her mouth. "I shouldn't have said that!" She said giggling, and Peyton wasn't really sure if she meant about saying _'Screws'_ again, or about the other piece of information she had let out without really aiming for it.

"It's okay kiddo," Peyton said giggling too. "Your secret's safe with me," She promised patting playfully JJ's nose. The girl let out another giggle, and then simply smiled nodding her head. "I have a lot to unpack so I guess you could go on and do whatever you are doing with Luke, okay?" She said with one of her eyebrows raised. JJ nodded once again so she kept going. "Still...If you get _bored_..." She called loud enough so Lucas in the living room could hear her. Seemingly he did, since Peyton did manage to hear a loud huff ringing from the end of the hallway. She let out a chuckle of her own, but then focused her attention back on JJ. "You can come into the bedroom and help _me_ if you want, all right?"

"Yeah," JJ said simply before lunging forward, and gripping tightly to Peyton's legs for a moment. She then looked up at the blonde's eyes, and simply smiled brightly before letting go, and running her way back to the living room where Lucas welcomed her with the screws in his hands.

Peyton stayed in the hallway for a moment, she simply stayed there and listened them both chuckling at whatever Lucas told her when she stepped into the bedroom. For many reasons this Christmas in particular didn't feel like any other Christmas she had experienced so far; for starters she actually had a family. It wasn't as if in past Christmases she hadn't, she had, this time it felt just…different.

The fact that she had been married for a year now was one of those; the fact that her bug was little by little becoming so much more than just a _'Bug'_ was other.

But that JJ was in their lives now was the most important of those, and Peyton knew that maybe a little too well.

Maybe she wasn't ready to admit it too openly, but that scared her somewhat.

* * *

"I don't like these," JJ whined looking actually seriously in both grownups' directions.

Lucas muffled a chuckle looking away, but Peyton didn't even bother. "Why?" She asked back as if daring the little girl. "Because you are not good at it?" She tried sounding a whole lot more knowingly than she even knew she could sound.

JJ's eyes narrowed, and she stayed quiet for a moment just looking quite strongly into Peyton's eyes. "I don't know," She said shrugging her shoulders, and pouting. "I...I just don't like it," She said standing up from the floor, and walking in the couch directions throwing herself on it. She sat there, and with her face still scrunched up, she looked over at both adults with her arms crossed firmly over her chest.

Peyton didn't smile –_as much as she wanted to do so_– she just looked just as firmly into JJ's eyes before leaning over, and resting herself on Lucas' side for a moment. "She's kinda cute, isn't she?" She asked playfully into his ear.

Lucas nodded his head, and yet again had a hard time fighting back a chuckle. JJ seemed so serious on that couch. He honestly didn't know just how willful that girl was until that evening. It were just Chopsticks. Not everybody could be good at eating with them from the start; Lucas knew that, so did Peyton, but apparently JJ didn't.

As it seemed, the girl needed to be good from the start.

"She is," Lucas agreed at last with a quiet chuckle, before focusing back on JJ. "Come on Jay," He said gesturing her to the still untouched dinner over the dining table. The girl looked over at the table, and then back at Lucas' eyes shaking her head decisively. "I'll teach you," He promised seriously. "And I won't laugh," He added actually wanting to laugh, but he still tried to keep his promise and didn't do so.

JJ twisted her lips a little bit more before she turned slightly, and looked at Peyton's eyes.

"I won't do it either, baby. I promise," She said in JJ's direction. At last, the girl's features softened, and she let out a deep breath before hopping off the couch and walking back to the little table, dropping herself right onto Lucas' lap.

JJ rested her back over Lucas' chest, and then shifted her head a bit so that she was meeting Peyton's eyes. "Why did the bug want to eat...that?" She asked scrunching her face, and looking a bit disgustedly towards the Chinese food on top of the table.

Peyton smiled looking at JJ and then over at the food. She really didn't know why she'd wanted Chinese, she just did. "I dunno, honey," She replied honestly before bending forward and nuzzling her nose playfully against JJ's. Peyton had to chuckle when –_at last_– JJ let out a good bunch of chuckles of her own. "We'd still try it, all right? If you don't like it, then...we'll try something else, deal?" She asked raising both her eyebrows as if in expectation.

JJ looked up and Lucas' smiley face for a second before smiling herself, and nodding her head looking right into Peyton's eyes. "Deal," She said simply lifting herself up from Lucas' chest already, and taking –_once again_– a set of chopsticks in her hands. "How again?" She asked with a chuckle looking rather mischievously in Lucas' direction.

A few attempts were made; Peyton actually managed to eat a little between giggles, and JJ –_almost_– got a full bite into her mouth. Unfortunately, when half an hour past by, and most part of the food was scattered over the dining table Peyton's promise about _'trying something else'_ had to became fact.

"Maybe bug should have chosen something..._easier_," JJ tried with a sheepish grin just as Lucas was sitting her on the stool right next to the one Peyton had sat herself on.

"I agree," Lucas said with a chuckle walking round the counter, and reaching his cell phone. "Something easier," He echoed before laughing, and shaking a bit his head.

Peyton matched both their chuckling, and simply shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever," She said snickering a little herself. "What should we eat, Jay?" She asked trying to sound as serious as possible.

JJ squished her nose playfully, and simply smiled for a moment as she all so focused started thinking in just 'What' they should eat. "How about breakfast?" She said fairly uncertainly in Peyton's direction. "That's easy," She added smiling sheepishly before she heard Lucas chuckling behind her and she had to look back at him. "It is, Luke!" She insisted giggling before he moved closer to where she was and started tickling her belly making her giggle even more.

Peyton tried looking down at her hands, not smile, ignore the moment for some reason, but she simply couldn't. She heard them both laugh, and she just _had_ to smile, and even matched their chuckling one more time. She didn't see often –_at least not recently_– Lucas acting so relax, and being _so_ in the moment without worrying about anything else.

That was maybe why she couldn't take for granted that moment and had to smile at it.

It wasn't as if he had been away from her, from them...that wasn't it, in the last months he had acted as just the best husband she could have ever asked for. The thing was that she could always still see that hint in his eyes, and sometimes in his voice; he would always have a ton of other thoughts running in his mind. From both hers and JJ's welfare, to everything the movie he had –_finally–_ wrapped up for the holidays today meant.

Peyton simply couldn't help herself from being happy those smiles and those giggles didn't come along with worries behind, but simply with all the good feelings she knew he was feeling at that moment.

She knew that just because she was feeling them all as well.

After a moment of simply watching over at _her_ boy, and at...the girl, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Lucas' frame and at the same time a little around JJ's. The girl looked up at her, and just kept giggling. "I'm in for breakfast," She whispered up into Lucas' ear before kissing a bit his neck.

Lucas smiled down at her before kissing back first her forehead and then dropping a small sweet kiss to her lips. He then let go of JJ as well after kissing her head, and just nodded his head in both girls' direction. "I'm okay with breakfast in the middle of the night too. What the heck, right?" He asked laughing, and only got in response a couple goofy nods from both girls.

"I think we could settle with some pancakes, right Jay?" Peyton asked standing up from her stool, and shooting a playful look at JJ. The girl nodded her head vigorously in response, and Peyton simply smiled. "Yeah, I think so too...I'll get started with them and..." She let her sentence trail off closing her eyes slowly, and letting them that way for a moment. She listened Lucas asking her something but for some reason at that moment his voice carried muffled to her ears. She opened her eyes after a few seconds but it all still seemed blurry, and she felt as light-headed as she'd ever felt before. "Or maybe not," She said quietly at last before closing her eyes upon the swirling room beneath her; both JJ and Lucas then simply watched helplessly as her body fell to the floor in a rush.

The next Peyton could make sense of was her body resting flat on one of the couches in the living room, and a moist feeling over her right arm. Her heart broke at those sad teardrops before her eyes had even completely open. "Hey," She called sounding a whole lot more softly than she aimed to sound.

JJ was crouched down beside the couch, and she barely looked up at Peyton when she spoke. She saw into her eyes for a moment, but she still didn't stop crying. "Do–Don't die, Peyton," She cried burrowing her face into the crook on Peyton's elbow.

Peyton stayed quiet for a moment; her hands instinctively traveling to JJ's hair and her fingers gently slipping into her long locks. "I'm okay baby," She promised sitting up a little against the arm of the couch, and forcing JJ to look up at her. "I am," She said simply again, and she really wasn't lying. She'd actually felt a little dizzy all day long but that really wasn't anything new for her lately. "Shush, don't cry," She pleaded when JJ didn't stop crying but instead her whimpering only grew heavier.

After a moment, and when her eyes started filling with tears of her own, Peyton scooped the girl up onto her lap, and cradled her as closer to her chest as she could. "Shush rabbit," She said again kissing the top of her head. JJ shook her own head and her tiny body started shaking unconsciously beneath Peyton's body. "Come on Jay, don't cry, kid, I mean it," Peyton said actually begging her to stop crying, she looked down at the little girl's soaked with tears face, and even though she bit down strongly her bottom lip, more than one tear of her own made its way down to her cheeks. "Don't cry because then...ugh, then I'll cry too," She said helplessly when her own cheeks were already stained with tears.

For what felt like the longest of moments all Peyton manage to hear were JJ's sounds as she cried, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lucas and the worried face he was carrying when he reentered the living room with the phone in his hands.

He still let out a breath at the sight of Peyton's eyes opened, and after just a few seconds, he moved to the couch where both girls were. He sat behind Peyton and JJ on the arm of the sofa, and wrapped his arm strongly around Peyton's neck. Bending down, he kissed her head strongly, and actually let out a watery chuckle. "This is normal, right?" He asked into her hair, and even though Peyton wanted to chuckle, she simply couldn't.

Having JJ crying –_because of her_– on her lap at that moment honestly got the best of her. "It is," Peyton replied anyway in spite of herself even, looking up at Lucas's eyes. It was indeed normal, but how could she actually explain that to a six-year-old? A six-year-old who had lost so much as JJ had?

"Hey, I'm not gonna die," Peyton said finding firmness in her voice at last, and actually forcing JJ to meet her eyes. "I'm not. I just felt a bit dizzy but everything's all right, I promise you that, okay?" She asked strongly, looking steadily into her girl's eyes.

When JJ nodded a bit her head, Peyton matched her motion and letting out a breath, she leaned back into Lucas' body. She brought JJ back with her, and rubbed sweetly her back as her sobs slowly died down.

"It is normal," Peyton grumbled playfully again when she was sure JJ was done crying, and she could actually start joking about it. The girl looked up, and although she wasn't crying anymore, she looked up into Peyton's eyes with not only tears filling her own eyes, but also with skepticism. "It is. I guess the bug just got excited because he finally has a bed to sleep in once he's born." She explained not wanting to laugh at just how lame her explanation was, but who knew? Maybe she was right, and the bug had just got a bit_too_ excited.

JJ however, simply looked up at Peyton's eyes with hers a little narrowed. "You think?" She asked looking over for a second at the finally tidy done crib she and Lucas had put together.

Peyton looked over at the end of the living room where the crib was, and simply smiled looking back at JJ's eyes. "I know." She said simply nodding her head.

JJ matched her motion but her lips were still a little bit twisted.

They waited a moment in silence, all of them just looking into each other's eyes every too often until JJ's hand slowly traveled down to Peyton's tummy. Seemingly, there was really no bump to touch, at least not for anyone other than Peyton...and maybe Lucas, yet the spot where JJ put her teeny-tiny fingers over, was the very spot Peyton had spotted as _'her bug'_ just a few days ago.

None of them said anything; Peyton's eyes were just firmly fixed on the girls hand locked down over her tummy. "It's okay bug, it's just a crib," JJ said quietly before she leaned back into Peyton's arms.

The blonde looked down at the little girl for just a moment before her eyes were filled with tears one more time. She shook her head, and let out a good bunch of watery chuckles looking back and forth between Lucas and JJ in her arms. It was silly, she was okay, they were_ all_ okay, yet she just couldn't keep her tears at bay.

"Hormones _suck_!" Peyton said at last giving in to the dumb tears, and burrowing her head playfully in the crook of Lucas' arm.

She was chuckling, yet she was crying too, and very clear she managed to hear Lucas and even JJ laughing at her.

It was silly indeed, but it really didn't matter they were making fun of her; as she told herself it wasn't quite her fault but the hormones, so she simply kept laughing, and kissed fondly the top of JJ's head after a moment.

The girl was laughing now, and in all honesty, the fact that it was at her expenses didn't bother Peyton at all.

She was laughing, and that was simply all that mattered.

* * *

**AN : **Told ya I'd watched 616, huh? I guess we'll get ourselves yet another early Christmas next chapter, but you really cannot blame me, I am quite a sucker for the holidays and I'm actually liking writing about them, so…I hope you've like this chapter, and next one we'd get Christmas! Any ideas? I already got a few, but like always suggestions are more than welcome *hehe*

Thanks so much for reading!


	14. All Those Pretty Lights

**Author's Note :**I'm sick, and stuck at home with the flu so at least I got this chapter done. Eeek, despite everything I am _so_ feeling the Christmas thingie already. Wouldn't mind a little snow though *lol*

**Enjoy!**

**All Those Pretty Lights**

* * *

If she was being _–completely–_ honest with herself, Peyton was sure she couldn't explain just _'Why'_ her eyes had fluttered open in the middle of the night. Between Lucas and her, she was the one with the heaviest sleep while his was at least ten times lighter than hers was.

Either way, she had been the one waking up when she really shouldn't have. She really couldn't blame the _'mom thing'_, since she really wasn't a mom quite yet.

Or at least that was what she kept telling to herself.

Whatever the case was, when she opened her eyes, she happened to see JJ right there; she was the very first thing her eyes made sense of at almost three o'clock in the morning. Maybe Peyton shouldn't have been surprised. After all, not a day had gone by since JJ had been living with them, in which she hadn't told the girl how whatever she needed –_at whatever hour_– she could just go into her bedroom and get her.

She had never gone before, so maybe, just maybe that was why Peyton had been taken a little aback.

It had been funny though; most of the times, Peyton would sleep atop of Lucas. Right there tangled into his arms, and resting her body all over his chest as he held her back as tightly as he could without actually hurting her of course.

That night however, that had been different. Lucas had been laying on his right side with his back actually at her. When Peyton looked over at him, he had been curled up in a tight ball soundly asleep.

On the other hand, she had been sleeping on her left side. Something she almost never, ever did. Not since she had been living with Lucas anyway. The funny thing had been the free space in the bed between them; it had been as if at some level they had been prepared for JJ coming over in her pretty blue-footed pajamas that night.

Peyton didn't think about it. Maybe she had been still a little too sleepy to actually think; but in the end when she simply stretched her arms out and motioned JJ to hop on the bed with them, she honestly wasn't thinking, she was just doing what she had to do.

JJ however, thought about her offer for a moment. If the lights would had been on, and Peyton had actually saw JJ's face musing over the idea, she'd probably laugh. She didn't do it though, but simply smiled in the dark.

Maybe she didn't want to wake up Lucas, but mostly she honestly just didn't want to scare the girl away with unforeseen laughs or anything such.

Since they left the hospital almost two months ago, they really hadn't sleep in the same bed at nights. Little naps in the middle of the day, yes, a few times actually, but not at nights.

Maybe that was why JJ had hesitated a little before hopping on the bed. In any case, a small smile, and a soft _'It's okay'_ from Peyton's lips had been enough to have the girl up onto the bed with her.

Peyton had cradled the tiny girl close to her chest, and hugged her tightly thinking that was all JJ needed.

She had been wrong, and as she'd learned soon enough; JJ clearly had had different plans for the night all along.

"I'm not," Peyton replied simply after just a few seconds of musing over JJ's question.

It had been a simple question, a short one Peyton shouldn't have had any problem replying. Yet she had had, and it hadn't been because of the question per se, but mostly because of the _'Why'_ it came.

"Are_ you_?" Peyton asked again upon JJ's silence. She leaned over slightly so that she could catch sight a little of the girl's eyes in the dark of the room. It was hard to tell, but Peyton was almost sure JJ's eyes were a little glistered, and she frankly didn't like that one bit.

Shifting a bit her head up, JJ locked eyes with Peyton. "Not really," She replied honestly with a small shrug of her shoulders. "But I guess I should be," She added leaving Peyton even more puzzled than she had been before.

She still stayed quiet for another moment, and just started toying a little when JJ's hair. "Why do you say that?" Peyton asked back honestly without a clue of what the answer was going to be.

She hadn't been around many children around Christmas Eve and Christmas season overall, but she had always _assumed_ kids were happier at that time of the year. It was almost obvious, right? They were off from school, there was snow on the streets, there was Santa, and there were presents. What else could they ask for?

At least that was what she had always thought. Who knew a six-year-old would happen to her life at twenty-three and teach her otherwise?

She still found it hard to believe the girl _should_ be _sad_ at Christmas time.

That couldn't be right, could it?

"Because you said so," JJ spoke all so softly at last. Her voice was a little shaky, and she sighed right after she finished speaking.

Peyton's eyebrows furrowed and she just didn't understand where JJ was coming. First, she had asked her if she was _sad_. She wasn't. She really wasn't. And then the girl had said that maybe she should be sad. It just didn't make any sense. "What did I say?" Peyton asked back after a moment. She kept JJ wrapped into her arms, and rested her head slightly over the girl's. She didn't lose her tight hold on her one bit as they talked. Maybe she needed a little bit of that too.

At the very least, Peyton liked to believe she did.

"You said tomorrow it is yours and Luke's anniversary–"

"Yeah, I did," Peyton interrupted pointedly, yet keeping her voice soft. Her eyes were narrowed, and as she noticed after a beat, so were JJ's. She had been surprised Peyton cut her short, and the older blonde could tell that much. "And why does that mean you should be sad?" She asked again, not even attempting to hide the urgency her voice was carrying.

It really wasn't like she wanted to interrogate the girl or make her say things she didn't want to say, but…in all honesty, all Peyton wanted to do was put her back at ease, and that certainly wasn't going to happen until she let out all those sad thoughts that filled that tiny mind of hers at that moment.

"March six," JJ replied simply and rather softly. Her head was shaking a little bit against Peyton's chest, and she could actually hear JJ's breathing a little too sharp.

In spite of everything, Peyton managed a small nod and tried hard to keep her voice just as soft as JJ's. "Okay," She said simply as though telling the girl to go on that way.

JJ sighed yet again, and then turned in Peyton's arms so that she was seeing right into the blonde's eyes. Her lips were slightly twisted, and what Peyton saw in that face of hers was that not only her voice was carrying uneasiness; her whole features were. "That's Daddy's anniversary," She explained quietly, and it only took Peyton a couple seconds to put two and two together.

"Oh, baby." Peyton said simply, yet carrying much more than just understanding with her voice. "I'm gonna tell you a secret, okay?" She tried softly with a small smile painted on her lips. JJ looked at her pensively for a moment, before she nodded her head slowly. "May twenty-eight," She said earnestly with a sigh she didn't even have plan.

At her words however, JJ's eyes fell into a squint Peyton hadn't see all that often on her, but that seemingly was a lot like Lucas'. The blonde didn't chuckle at it though, but simply smiled, and decided to elaborate before JJ could ask. "That's _my_ mom's anniversary," She said nodding her head a little bit, and finally understanding why JJ had showed up at her bedside in the middle of the night.

Peyton couldn't be too sure about children, and about everything they supposedly feel or didn't, but she certainly could be sure of what '_Anniversaries_' meant sometimes. Yet, as it seemed, JJ didn't know the whole story yet, and in Peyton was to share that with her. "Here's another secret," Peyton called when she noticed JJ losing herself in thought once again.

"What's that?" JJ said softly, not really meeting her eyes, but playing with the fridge of Peyton's nightgown.

"There are quite a lot kinds of anniversaries, you know?" Peyton said almost chirping, and sounding as happily as she hadn't sounded before that night. JJ looked up at her and bit by bit matched the soft smile Peyton was wearing on her lips. "Your Daddy's, and my mom's, those…those anniversaries are sometimes a little too sad, huh?" She asked with her nose scrunched up a little.

JJ opened her mouth to respond, but close it back again after a moment, and simply nodded her head. She wouldn't say a 'little too sad' precisely; she'd certainly say much too sad actually. "Mommy cried a lot that day," She admitted after a moment.

Peyton felt a lump forming on her throat at her words, but couldn't do anything other than swallowed it hard before she continued speaking. "She missed your Daddy," She said rather sadly, and making JJ look up at her eyes. "But not all anniversaries have to be sad rabbit," She explained putting back a small smile on her face.

"How come?" JJ asked with her tongue stuck out just a little bit.

Peyton sighed, and wrapped even tightly her arms around JJ's back drawing her closer to her body that way. "Some anniversaries can be happy, like Luke's and mine tomorrow. We got married a year ago, and that means tomorrow is a happy day because we get to celebrate that day," She said, playfully patting JJ's nose simply because she wanted to. JJ smiled at her touch, and that was pretty much all Peyton could have asked in return anyway. "Birthdays are also happy anniversaries, you know? At least kind of," She said laughing quietly, and JJ just a quietly matched it.

"But..." JJ tried after a moment. Peyton couldn't miss the way her lips twisted again a little to the side.

"Go on," Peyton said simply, sending an encouraging smile in the girl's direction.

JJ took a long breath, and lifted herself up just slightly looking over at Lucas. Peyton couldn't be sure, but if she could say so herself, the girl did so as to make sure they hadn't disturb the boy as he slept all too soundly. "What happens with Daddies and Mommies sad anniversaries? Do..."

"I..." Peyton began, but had to take a breath herself before keep going. "I guess it is okay if we are sad a little in those days, but we...Look, we just gotta remember that for_ one_ sad anniversary we can find at least_ ten_ happy ones, I...I promise you that kid." She said adamantly and smiled a little too triumphantly to herself when JJ nodded her head as if accepting her statement that way.

After a moment of silence JJ stated biting –_just a little bit_– her bottom lip, and although Peyton wanted to chuckle at her, she settled asking what she knew was needed to be ask. "What baby?" She asked drawing JJ's attention to herself once again.

JJ looked up at her, and the way she was biting her lips wasn't in a nervous or anxious sort of way, it was more in a mischievous way and Peyton actually smiled at that. "I...You think we can go and wish Mommy and Daddy a 'Merry Christmas' on Christmas Day? We could visit your mama too like we did that day, remember?" She asked with her eyes wide with expectation.

Peyton kept smiling, and didn't hesitate one second in start nodding her head. Of course they'll go. If well the first time she'd taken JJ to the cemetery to visit her mom hadn't been too easy and smooth, Peyton still knew the girl needed at some level to go there. She needed that place in which she could talk to her mom and be alone with her, even if that place was as sad and cold as the cemetery certainly was for the two of them.

They'd go anyway because JJ deserved at least to be able to say 'Merry Christmas' to her mom.

"We'll go Pretty girl," Peyton replied sweetly at last, reaching down her hands, and tickling only a little bit the girl's tummy. "I bet they all will be quite happy to see us," She said not really lying, but just giving away what she liked to believe.

JJ chuckled at her words, but the not missing a beat a yawn escaped her lips, and it was then when it hit Peyton how they really shouldn't be having that kind of conversations at 3:45 in the morning. She kissed JJ's forehead fondly before turning her back into her arms, and hugging her to her chest so the two of them could actually drift off to sleep as they should have done hours ago.

Peyton was starting to feel her eyes growing heavy when JJ moving a bit against her body caused her to awake fully again. She didn't say anything, but simply waited to whatever –_other_– question she knew it was coming.

"You got married on Christmas Eve?" JJ asked almost chuckling, and if her eyes hadn't been closed, Peyton would have probably rolled them.

It honestly wasn't the first time she'd been asked that question.

"We did," Peyton replied chuckling slightly at last. She leaned over nuzzling playfully JJ's neck causing the girl to giggle. "We just got tired waiting for spring," She explained sincerely and truth be told, she just couldn't wipe off the smile from her face that night.

She didn't want to think about –_even more that was_– but the feeling that girl in her arms gave her was something she could _easily_ get used to...that of course, if she hadn't already.

And even when she didn't want to admit it, she knew very well that she already had, and simply couldn't be sure if that was a good thing or not.

* * *

Too soon, it was Monday morning, but the feeling this particular Monday morning was carrying didn't feel at all as a '_regular_' Monday morning should feel like. Peyton had woken up not only with Lucas' arms tangled around her, but also with her own arms tangled around the girl.

She had smiled at the sight –_at the feeling_– and simply waited until Lucas wake up as well before really staring her day. They'd had breakfast together; as usual Lucas made it, and Peyton and JJ simply told him just how good it was.

Not that any of them were complaining, but this time around Christmas was going to be a small affair for them since on the one hand, Haley, Nathan and Jamie were flying later that day to meet Haley's family and spend Christmas with them. And on the other, since things with Brooke and Julian were going a little too well, the two of them, plus Sam, had flown the day before to LA where they were going to spend the holidays.

It actually was okay; spending not only Christmas, but also their one-year anniversary together and just with the little girl felt really as the most perfect way to do it for both Lucas and Peyton.

Then again, early Christmas Eve visits weren't all that bad either.

"Pretty awesome, huh?"

Peyton let out a small chuckle at Haley's words, and not missing a beat simply leaned over and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder. "Pretty awesome," She echoed looking over at that big smile not only Jamie was wearing, but also JJ. They were being 'badass' according to Nathan, and were opening just a couple of presents together since, sadly, they weren't going to be able to see each other in the actual Christmas Day.

Peyton didn't say it aloud too much; she hardly ever let herself think about it actually, but the fact that that girl, little by little, step by step, had opened back to the world felt honestly as the very best Christmas gift she could have ever asked for.

It just made her happy, and Haley had got it right, it was pretty awesome indeed.

"How does it feel?" Haley asked again. She crooked her head a bit so that she was meeting Peyton's eyes. The blonde looked back at her with nothing other than confusion written all over her face so Haley decided to elaborate just a little bit more. "I mean...from last year and today, how does it feel?" She asked, and raised her eyebrows as if in anticipation.

Peyton took a small breath before her eyes shifted down, and a silly smile started dancing on her lips. There were honestly a thousand ways she could answer that question, yet, at that very moment, she was finding it hard to come up with just the right answer. "As strange as it sounds," She began looking up into Haley's eyes again. "I think this year everything feels more frantic," She told her honestly, yet couldn't stop the nervous laugh that escaped her lips along with her words.

Haley matched her laugh, but couldn't quite believe her words. "Are you serious?" She asked actually surprised at her prior response. Peyton simply nodded her head a little bit, and Haley had to laugh once again. "Call me crazy, but I'd say Brooke literally cursing at you for bringing the wedding forward at every minute for about _three_ whole days felt just a _little _more frantic that now," She pointed out really trying not to laugh.

Peyton pulled away from her shoulder, but she on the other hand, did no attempt to keep her laughter at bay. "You'd think," Peyton granted at last nodding her head goofily. Haley chuckled, but she still needed a little bit more of explanation. "But…last year, _even_ with Brooke going on and on about how crazy it was getting married at that time of the year I was sure of what I was doing. I was sure of Luke, and of me, and of wanting to marry him. I…I am still sure of all those things, don't get me wrong, I am," She stressed needlessly. "I am...really, but things aren't so black and white anymore, just...look at JJ," She trailed off looking herself over at the girl.

Haley followed her eyes, and held them on the girl and _her_ son playing by the end of the living room. Maybe in that moment she could actually see things the way Peyton did. Those two hadn't hang out a whole lot in the past couple of months, yet they had gotten close. They looked after each other in School, and actually cared for one another as real family would. When Jamie had asked her to go visit that morning not only his Uncle Luke and Aunt Peyton, but _also_ JJ, Haley's heart had certainly warmed, and maybe Peyton was quite right, and JJ had brought that hint of grey to their very blank and white lives.

"That girl practically turned our lives upside down, not in a bad way, but she did," Peyton continued upon Haley's silence. She smiled looking over at Haley, and actually beamed a little since for the look in Haley's eyes, she was just coming to realize how Peyton was the one that had been right, and not even Brooke's franticness the year before could top this one. "I went yesterday Christmas shopping for a six-year-old," Peyton stated as if that was the craziest things she'd ever come to do.

Haley turned her head looking at the blonde's eyes, and nodded her head with a chuckle. "It's the same feeling though," She said and now it was Peyton's turn to be _–utterly_– confused. After all, they had just been talking about how different the feeling was this year, so Haley couldn't really blame her for being confused.

So in the end, the brunette let out yet another chuckle and granted Peyton's confused look. "I mean...its life changing in the end." Haley explained knowingly, and Peyton actually nodded her head at her words. "Last year it was you and Luke – It_ is_ still you and Luke," She corrected pointedly, yet chuckling a little bit again. "But it's also that girl's life now. Who knows where she'd be now if it hadn't been for you and Luke," She said looking quite seriously into Peyton's eyes. She might not say it a lot, maybe she didn't say it enough, but ultimately, the truth of the matter was that at the end of the day, she couldn't be more proud, of both, her best friend, and his wife who conveniently happened to be a great friend of her as well.

"I...I think she'd be just fine," Peyton said in something just above a whisper a moment later. She actually had to take a couple of seconds just to sink in what Haley said. It hadn't been anything out of the ordinary, yet it had made her wonder. "But then again, I guess I'd be lying if I said I'm not glad she's right here where I get to see just how fine she really is," She said sincerely, and maybe it was a little selfish. She honestly couldn't be sure. But of what she was indeed sure, was there were no regrets in having that girl messing up her living room in the company of her nephew.

She honestly wouldn't have it any other way for more reasons than just one.

* * *

"We okay, Luke! We are!"

Peyton wanted, and wanted _badly_ to echo the girl's words but she simply just couldn't do it. They were certainly okay; _they_ were the okay, the kitchen whatsoever, not so much.

Lucas entered the room both girls where, biting his lip as if stifling laughter that way. He was being discrete, but Peyton couldn't miss it. He wanted to laugh, and in all honesty, he had every right to do so.

But...She and JJ just wanted to make something yummy for him while he worked in the living room; the fire alarm setting off and smoke coming out from the oven hadn't really been in their plans.

"I–I thought you two were keeping an eye on the oven!" Lucas noted after a moment. He looked over at Peyton and her sheepish grin, and then at JJ by the counter. The girl looked back at him with wide eyes, but not even trying not to smile. Lucas had to smile himself at that. "But apparently not," He added with a chuckle, moving behind Peyton, and wrapping his arms all too tightly around her waist.

She leaned back on him, and rested her head on his shoulder tilting a bit her head so that she was seeing into his eyes. "I'm sorry," She said laughing, before her hand gently travelled to his cheek. "But in our defense," She called with her own eyes wide, and one of her eyebrows rose. "It was_ your_ fault," She stated seriously, yet at her words not only Lucas had to chuckle incredulously, but so did JJ.

The difference however, was that the girl laughed at how true Peyton statement was. "We were wrapping your present, Luke," JJ chirped playfully from her spot before Peyton started coughing and sent her one of those '_looks_' she well knew already.

"Shush," Peyton cried out in JJ's direction before she lifted herself from Lucas' arms, and turned around only enough to see his eyes properly. The girl on the other hand, then simply started biting slightly her bottom lip; she actually wasn't supposed to say that aloud. "It was your fault," Peyton said anyway flashing at Lucas her best grin.

He then just laughed. Honestly, he felt as though he couldn't do anything else. "I guess I'm okay with that," Lucas said meekly leaning in and kissing –_softly_– Peyton's lips.

PDA in front of the girl? They actually tried to keep it as little as possible for some reason. It wasn't as if she'd said something, it was just that she was still young, and she just didn't need to see that side of things. Little kisses and small glances here are there were even fun for the two of them when JJ was around.

Yet, sometimes Lucas would even dare to say the girl liked when he and Peyton kissed a bit, or say '_I love you'_ to each other, or to her. From time to time out of the corner of his eyes, he'd see JJ smiling sweetly when they did so.

Much alike this time around.

"I'd still like my peanut butter cookies and I'm sure Santa would to," Lucas said almost laughing, looking back and forth between both girls.

Peyton shot a playful wink in JJ's direction before she leaned in and dropped yet another soft kiss to Lucas' lips. "You'd have to help us then," She all but ordered, patting a little bit his chest, and moving back to the counter next to the overly burned cookies.

She laughed, and so did JJ, so naturally, Lucas had to laugh himself as well.

A couple more trays of peanut butter cookies later; Lucas was still hanging out with the girls in the kitchen. Even though he would have love to be working in the little _–yet pretty cool–_ toy train the girls gave him, the smiles the _two_ of them had painted on their lips when the first tray of perfectly made cookies was out, had made of that moment one of those moments he simply knew he wouldn't trade of the world.

* * *

"Luke can lift you, you know?" Peyton said a little too quietly, nudging playfully JJ's elbow with hers.

The girl shifted her eyes from the tree before them –_the one Lucas was really focused working on_– and looked over at Peyton with her eyes slightly narrowed. If Peyton hadn't known better –_and she did actually_– she could have sworn the girl was looking at her as if she was crazy or at the very least, talking pure nonsense. Her little _'pose'_ however, didn't last longer, and all Peyton had to do was wide a bit her eyes and raise one of her eyebrows; at just that, JJ had let out a deep quiet breath, and both blondes had smiled at just how well they knew each other. "Mommy always let me put it," JJ admitted quietly after just a moment. Her eyes shifting down to the star tree-topper she'd been holding in her hands for the longest of time already.

"Well, guess what?" Peyton said goofily, standing up from the couch, and placing JJ back on her feet as well. "We'll love for you to put the very last ornament thingy on _our _Christmas tree as well," She said, playfully patting JJ's nose, and right before Lucas' attention was drew away from the tree.

After just a few seconds, when Peyton turned around to look at his eyes, he offered her one on those scoundrel grins she could only smile back at –and wait a bit to kiss him of course. "She says she'd like to put the star on top of the tree; care to help Lucas Scott?" She asked twisting her lips playfully, and squishing up her nose in that very way she didn't do all that often, but only when she was _really_ happy, and Lucas certainly wasn't one to miss that teeny detail.

He still simply let out a chuckle, and before either girl could match it, he had already take JJ into his arms, and up on his shoulders so that she could put that pretty star –_she'd chosen from the store_– on the very top of their yet-to-be-light-up Christmas tree. The girl giggled and Lucas was sure that must as well be his favorite sound in the world along with Peyton's laughter of course.

Peyton waited a moment, just enough for the star to be placed right in its spot, and once she was sure of that, her arms found Lucas' waist, and the side of her head found the side of his arm to rest upon. Both JJ's and Lucas' eyes shifted down at her, and she honestly could only smile sheepishly back at them. "Shall we light it up?" She asked with both her eyebrows raised, and one of her most genuine smiles on her face.

Lucas didn't respond right away but followed Peyton's eyes all the way up to JJ's. "Shall we?" He asked with quite a grin looking expectantly into the girl's eyes.

At the question, JJ's eyes started darting back and forth between the two grownups, but at the same time, a smile was certainly tugging at the corners of her lips too. "I'd like that," She said simply, and nodding her head a bit, before Lucas put her back on the floor, and right next to Peyton.

The older blonde's hands traveled instantly to JJ's shoulders and the moment JJ looked up at her with that sweet little smile on her face, Peyton simply knew_ that_ was the way to begin Christmas.

Took Lucas less than a couple of minutes between turning off the living room lights, and then lighting up instead the colorful ones of their tree. Within seconds he was standing right beside Peyton and JJ, and although a little bit silly, the three of them just stood there for a moment looking over at all the sparkling lights, and even at Lucas' toy train making '_Chu Chu' _noises around the tree every so often.

Hot cocoa and a few marshmallows on top was all JJ needed next before she was already sound asleep. Quite quietly, she made herself comfortable in the couch, or better yet, on Lucas' lap. She was curled up in the smallest of balls with a little bit of chocolate staining her lips, but also with that same little smile she'd been wearing for most part of the day gracing her tiny lips as well.

And even though her eyes were starting to grow heavier and heavier with each passing minute, Peyton simply didn't want to give in to sleep quite yet.

Her head was resting on Lucas' shoulder, and she was really, _really_ close to start teasing him for humming all so quietly one of those Christmas carols that had been driving her crazy every since November.

She didn't say anything though. Maybe because she was actually far too tired to even tease him, but maybe it was also because she was sure he thought she was already asleep and having him thinking that for a little while longer was just okay with her.

Whatever the case was, the moment she started toying with the fringe of his tee shirt and he _almost_ immediately shut his mouth was rather funny, and not only she had to stifle a chuckle but of course Lucas too.

He wasn't really the best at singing; not even hums for the girls work that well for him –_nor_ for them.

Not missing a beat, Peyton's head tilted just enough to find his eyes on hers. "Cute," She chirped quietly, yet rather playfully.

Lucas smiled at her, and although he rolled his eyes a little bit at her word, he still had to lean in to kiss strongly the top of her head. "Maybe I should..." He let his sentence trail off gesturing Peyton with his head towards the sleeping girl on his lap, and actually choosing to ignore her comment about his rendition of _'Little Donkey'_ "Probably, you know..." He nearly stammered out, so Peyton certainly had to chime in.

He needed her.

"Put her to bed," She filled in for him knowingly. Lucas just nodded his head meekly, letting out a chuckle a little louder than he probably should have let out, but that in any case made Peyton smile. "Goon…I'll wait here for ya," She said pushing away a bit from him, and pulling the small blanket that lay on the couch over her body.

Lucas smiled quite sincerely looking down at her as she stood up with JJ in his arms. "You know I–I've planned–"

"I actually loved the way we spent our anniversary," Peyton filled in for him once again, but this time around a whole lot more firmly for some reason.

Lucas thought for a moment, but not a whole minute passed by before he started nodding his head. "I did too," He said simply yet truthfully. He honestly wasn't sure just what she'd thought of their very '_ordinary_' first anniversary, just hanging out at their house with the girl, cooking, doing the tree, and doing all those Christmassy-like things, so he had thought it would be better if he said the words. If he maybe tried to tell her just what he had planned before JJ happened, and actually even before their bug happened too, but now, after actually hearing her say what she'd said she had just reassured him what he already thought.

They didn't do anything fancy and out of the ordinary, but simply spent the day together, and in truth, there was really no need of more with them, and he was actually pretty much glad his girl knew that so certain.

Took Lucas anyway some good ten minutes to waltz back into the living room, and he had to stop in his tracks for a moment as he saw her on the couch, curled up in a tight ball but still trying to stay awake. He wasn't sure why, but he loved her a little bit more plainly because of that.

Peyton looked up at him, but in all honesty took her longer to tell apart his silhouette in the dark, than to bring her head back down as he snuggled with her on the couch. "Took you long enough," She whispered into his chest, resting one of her hands there, and lifting just a bit her head so that she was meeting his eyes.

Lucas smiled – Honestly unable not to do so, and then simply shrugged his shoulders. "She's harder to get into her jammies when she's half asleep and the less I wanted was to wake her up," He pointed out laughing quietly before pressing her just a little closer to his body and kissing the side of her lips all so softy.

He knew though she'll call him a tease for that kiss, but...he could live with that. Those little kisses felt actually pretty darn awesome if it was she, and only she the one he was giving them to.

Surprising him a little, Peyton stayed quiet, and simply looked –_quiet blankly_– up into his eyes for a moment. Bit by bit a smile tugged at the corners of her lips and Lucas actually let out a sigh of relief at it for some reason. Her hand was resting right over his chest, and he was positive she was feeling just how fast his heart was beating with her –_almost–_ on top of him. It was certainly not the first time –_not at all_– but he honestly couldn't help himself –_or his body_– every single time that girl was near him. _Even_ after a year of marriage.

"I just love you," She said fairly simple with a shrug of her shoulders.

Actually, _especially _after a year of marriage.

He was certain, one-hundred percent at that moment; that she'll never, not ever, would cease to amaze him.

Were all those tiny things she did that simply made it impossible for him not to love her.

"And I love _you_," Lucas replied after a short moment, saying the only thing he honestly could say back. Without missing the littlest of beats, he leaned down his head and pressed his lips to hers once again, simply because he just couldn't help it after her words...and actions, and sheepish smile, and sparkling eyes...

He wasn't lying. He certainly loved her.

As they pulled apart, their foreheads rested on one another's for a moment before Peyton laid her head back over his chest. There was no need of more words, she knew that too damn well, but...she still needed to say a couple more words that had been on the tip of her tongue throughout that day.

"Happy anniversary,"

It was a whisper, yet for some reason, it made it all more real for him.

He kissed her again, honestly, just because he wanted to, and then just said back the words softly against her lips.

That was all, and _so_ much more, than she could have _ever_ asked for.

* * *

**AN : **Not sure what I feel about this chapter, but wanted to write it nonetheless. We'd get a small time-jump next chapter. Let me know what you think!


	15. Never Be Ready

**Author's Note :**Tomorrow I have a meeting at school so I probably should be in bed right now, but I couldn't help it, I was feeling this story and this update just…happened. Hope you like it. I think it's okay, so…**Enjoy! ;)**

**Never Be Ready {Sixty-Nine Days}

* * *

**

There was something about her questions. If she were being completely honest with herself, Peyton would simply say that she loved them.

They were always the most simple of questions, yet the ones that got her to think the most.

She'd ask about food or TV shows, or really, about any of those little things the girl would think and then she would just...ask.

And why not, right? Why couldn't she just ask whatever thought that happened to cross that mind of hers? Peyton would be lying if she said she didn't like every single time JJ's face would turn all pensive, and her forefinger would even travel to her chin, and she'd tap it goofily, just because one of those thoughts was running through her mind.

A part of Peyton was even proud. It was a weird feeling, but at the end of the day, it made her feel good about herself. JJ trusted in her. The girl didn't have any problem saying to her whatever thought that cross her mind, so in the last few weeks, Peyton had simply grow to love those little questions.

Why pizza had to come in square boxes when they are rounded?

How come donuts couldn't be squares as well?

And well, _yes_, the girl actually was a little too fond about squares but that wasn't really the point.

That morning she had come out with a pretty good one that _–as usual–_ Peyton hadn't been too sure how to respond. But in all honesty, that was the fun part.

JJ had '_asked'_ to stay at home that day, and Peyton had '_reluctantly_' let her. But...It wasn't as if she was being a bad mother, that wasn't it; she honestly didn't have a choice. JJ's tummy was aching! How was Peyton supposed to send her to school that way, right?

Either way, after a little ginger ale and some cuddles from Peyton, JJ was back up on her feet and more than eager to go with Peyton to her office.

The older blonde had obliged. Yet again, she hadn't had a choice.

She hated to admit it, but she was getting soft. Not with everybody per se, but when it was about JJ; the girl had her wrapped around her finger, and she couldn't really deny it anymore.

Ultimately, that morning Peyton actually needed to get to work – girl in tow or not. She was meeting with one of many band managers and his so-called _great _new artist she apparently_ needed_ to listen in person in order to really appreciate just how very great he was.

She had obliged at that request too. In the end, it really didn't bother her; that was her job after all and she surely loved it.

Even more when JJ joined her; there weren't so many the times she could go along with Peyton since she had school, but every time they managed to go together in the afternoons sometimes, or even some Saturdays with Luke, the girl would make of Peyton's time at her studio a hell of a lot more funnier than when was by herself.

That morning however, they had been downstairs at TRIC; the bar was empty and the studio was busy with someone else recording so they have all come downstairs, and as JJ put it; it had been like a mini-concert for just she and Peyton. Actually, she'd say for the _three_ of them since the 'Bug' as everybody –_not just them_– had grown to call it, had been there too.

The girl had been sitting right on Peyton's lap the whole time; her head comfortably rested over her shoulder, and her tiny hands toying over with everything she could reach; from Peyton's every ring, to the fringe of her skirt, to even her belly playfully. She hadn't been bored, that was just what she did, and Peyton actually loved it.

For about twenty minutes or so, they just talked with the artist, and his manager. It was a serious meeting, it actually was, but for some reason the artist happened to be British and apparently, JJ had found that fairly funny. Peyton was supposed to be focused, her serious look properly set on her face as she listened to all the –_endless_– perks she'd have if she only hired this new British artist. Yet, she'd had a really, _really _hard time fighting back laughter when JJ burrowed her head on her arm, and started snickering, whispering at Peyton at the same time just how very cute his little accent was.

She'd said into Peyton's ear just how she'd never been before with a boy who spoke like a _'prince'_; Peyton had then only smile at the girl's logic.

She honestly was just beginning to realize princes talked like British people.

In any case, the moment he had begun singing, JJ had put on her serious face back. Peyton saw –with quite a smile at just how focused the girl was seeing her '_prince_' perform on stage with a single acoustic guitar, and his voice only. After he was finished with the first song, JJ had leaned close to Peyton's ear one more time; she been dead serious when she asked her just why his funny accent went away when he was singing?

Saying Peyton had been left blank at her question would certainly be an understatement. She honestly had only stare back at her with a silly smile dancing on her lips, before she simply shrugged her shoulders, and kissed the crown of her head as the sounds of the guitar started echoing through the bar one more time.

In all honesty, she didn't know, and she loved that.

Their morning seemed to fly by after she'd say to the prince's manager how she'd think about it, but that she had actually liked what she'd heard. JJ had agreed, although she didn't fail in remark how princes should stay princes _even_ when they sang.

Peyton had only smile, and nod her head. Then she'd put the girl to work. Not because she skipped school it meant she was work-free and Peyton had let her know that very clear early on.

The girl loved it though. She loved to pretend her _'work'_ was just as important as Peyton's, and how Billy the '_coolest'_ of sound engineers couldn't really do well his job if JJ didn't help me prepare the booth before recording.

Peyton would be the biggest of liars if she'd say she simply didn't love having JJ's makeshift little desk behind hers, but...she still had also gotten _that_ call that morning.

She hadn't given it much importance, it certainly wasn't the first time she'd gotten a call like that, and it usually was okay by her. Their job was to look out after her girl after all so she had grown to be okay every time that they just wanted to make _'surprise'_ checkups on JJ. Peyton was okay with that, it wasn't as if she had any secrets.

She didn't.

Though in a way, when it was about her feelings, she kind of did.

That wasn't a good thing.

"You're squishing me!" JJ mumbled – playfully, yet a bit seriously as well too.

Peyton let out a small chuckle, but didn't loose her hold on her anyway. "I am, huh?" She asked pushing away only slightly from JJ so that she was seeing into the girl's eyes. She simply nodded in return, and took a –_dramatic_– breath of air when Peyton let go a little bit more of her, and placed her properly on her hip.

"Luke says you can't lift me," JJ informed Peyton with all the seriousness of the matter, and nodding her head just a little bit.

Peyton chuckled yet again at her and at her seriousness, but still didn't put her back on her feet quite yet. "Oh he did, did he?" At JJ's strong nod, Peyton didn't have any other choice than to nod her head as well. "The bug's just fine, I can promise you that much," She said before leaning in and dropping a soft kiss to JJ's forehead.

The girl just smiled quite sheepishly in Peyton's direction, but her eyes were still a little wide. The bug could be fine as of _now_, that certainly didn't mean Peyton could carry the girl around all the time, even if she kind of needed it right now for some reason. Peyton still gave in in the end, and sat JJ right in front of her on top of her desk. "When is Brooke coming?" JJ beat Peyton in asking, and honestly, the smile she was wearing as she asked the question _almost_ made Peyton a little jealous.

Not too much though; having her two favorite girls getting along wasn't bad at all.

"In a little while," Peyton informed her at last, and with not much effort matched her silly smile. "You're gonna be good?"

"I'm gonna be good," JJ was fast to reply and her eyes were far too wide as she spoke. "And I'm gonna have fun!" She stated with such conviction Peyton could only agree with her.

About three weeks ago, Brooke had taken JJ on her very first shopping spree and ever since then, she'd gotten the girl for herself at least a couple more times, _always _promising she'd have fun even though Peyton wasn't going to be around.

The up-side, Brooke wasn't lying either. The girl was starting to love her getaways with Brooke every now and again, and surprisingly enough, Peyton was the one that seemed to take the _'separation'_ a little bit harder for some reason.

Maybe it were her –_messed up_– hormones kicking in again.

Either way, Peyton had to agree with her. "You are," She said smiling sincerely in the girl's direction. "Luke and I will pick you up at night after the appointment, okay?"

"Okay," JJ echoed with a chuckle, shifting her eyes down to Peyton's still tiny bump. "Tell Bug _'Hi'_," She chirped rather happily before lunging forward and wrapping quite tightly her arms around Peyton.

There was no need for that hug, yet JJ had given it to her just because she felt like it.

Maybe that was what made everything harder for Peyton.

As soon as out of the corner of her eye she saw not only JJ's Social Worker but also a couple more people walking along into her studio, Peyton knew this time around the '_checkup_' wasn't just any checkup.

Looking back down at JJ, she smiled a little and put her back on her feet after kissing –_strongly–_ the crown of her head. "Go on with Bill, I'll be right there with you two in a little bit, got it?"

JJ didn't look over at the entrance...Luckily for Peyton maybe; the girl simply kept smiling, and after just a few seconds she had made all her way into the booth, and was giggling at who knows what but she was still doing so.

Peyton took a breath, a deep, long breath before her eyes shifted up and she acknowledged properly at last the Social Worker's presence. It was a man and a woman who came with her, they stayed by the doorway, maybe they were being polite or something, either way Peyton simply couldn't like them one little bit.

She shook hands with the social worker and tried not to say what she so badly wanted to say, but...at the looks on those people's faces she just couldn't stay quiet. "She's not a zoo animal," Peyton said sounding a whole lot more hurt than she probably should have sound, and before Janine had even completely took back her head. The Social worker's eyes were narrowed when she looked up at Peyton's, but so were hers. She wasn't lying, and she cared more than enough for that girl in the booth to just let them treat her as a showcase animal as Peyton was sure they were.

"_It's not like that,"_

That was the way Janine; the Social Worker she and Lucas –_and even JJ_– had gotten to like through the last three months, started explaining Peyton exactly just how different this visit was.

Peyton could have sworn she spoke for the longest of times, but she simply couldn't make words out of the most part of what she said. It wasn't as if she didn't know or had forgotten; that wasn't it. She and Lucas were JJ's _foster_ parents; that had _always_ been clear for her. But...what seemed far too surreal in her mind at that moment was that they were actually taking the girl away from them already.

She had done her research –_of course she had_– finding families, adoption procedures took months to get through, it had barely been three months since they have gotten JJ! It wasn't as if she was expecting them not to come and get the girl back, Peyton knew that day would come, she just didn't expect it all to happen... too soon.

'_Fostering with a view to adopt'_ those were the six words that kept echoing in Peyton's minds of what the Social Worker had said. That was what those people in her office would do for JJ, and if things went right, they'll adopt her.

But...What if it didn't? What if things didn't go well? They would just...throw her back into the system?

That was what hurt.

Peyton had promised to herself –_and to JJ, and even to her mom too_– that she'd look after the girl until she was sure she was placed in the _right_ home. But the thing was that if they actually took her away by the end of the weekend as the Social Worker told Peyton they would, chances were she wasn't going to be able to see the girl again.

Ever.

She had no rights over that girl, not really, she never had even though sometimes she'd felt JJ just as family, but...she wasn't, and _that _was what sting.

"Should I bring her," Peyton spoke in something just above a whisper, and without really knowing why.

Her eyes where down, and Janine had stopped talking only a few seconds ago, and then...the words just slipped out of her mouth.

In all honesty, the less she wanted was them seeing JJ for some reason, but she really couldn't do anything about it if that was why they have come.

After all she was not her mother, and Janine had made hell of a job that morning reminding her that.

In any case, the –_not anymore_– bubbly-looking red-haired shook her head at Peyton's words and without aiming for it, Peyton let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding.

In that moment, it all snapped in her, and as the social worker said her _'Goodbyes'_ and _'We'll be in touch to arrange everything'_; Peyton's eyes were slowly yet surely filling with tears.

She shouldn't cry, she honestly shouldn't, yet if JJ hadn't been just a few meters away, she was sure she would have started weeping like a baby then and there in her office desk.

Her elbows found the desk, and her head fell freely to her hands, and all she could honestly think about was in just 'How' was she supposed to tell the so-called 'Good News' to the girl.

They had talked about it with her, she knew –_just as well as she and Lucas supposedly knew_– that she staying with them was something just temporal. That there was a home, and two pretty awesome parents waiting for her somewhere, and there was just a matter of time for Janine to find them. There were times the three of them even joked about it. But it wasn't funny.

It wasn't funny at all, and Peyton was just beginning to realize that very fact.

It had been a little ironic though; when Janine gave Peyton a brief explanation of why finding a home to JJ had been a priority for her, she hadn't said only because of the girl's sad situation, and how tragic it had been the way her mother had died. The social worker had stayed quiet for a short moment until Peyton had lifted up her head, and had seen her eyes fixed pointedly in her little yet of course noticeable bump.

Peyton couldn't, she honestly couldn't be upset at her still-to-be-born bug because of...existing merely, but that still didn't mean her heart wasn't slowly breaking as thoughts of what this upcoming weekend was going to be, filled her mind.

Did it feel wrong? It did.

Could she help it? Not really. She just knew it hurt a whole lot more than she thought it would.

* * *

Lucas' hand was resting on the small of her back when they stepped inside the house. All of it felt like a dream, more like a nightmare actually. Like nothing that was happening was in reality happening and she was just imagining it all somehow.

In that very moment, Peyton actually wanted to lean back into his arms, Lucas was just behind her, his touch was on her, it was only natural –_and right if she did so_– but she just couldn't do it. She knew that if she move or say something she probably shouldn't, he'd want to talk.

Actually, he already did.

In the ride home from the Doctor's office, none of them had said a single word. Peyton had tucked her hand into his almost as soon as he started up the car, but that was all she had done.

Now he wanted to talk, and she knew that much.

He wanted to talk about the girl.

He wanted to talk about the appointment.

He wanted to talk about everything.

And in all honesty, all _she_ wanted to do was reach their bed, curled there and just...cry really.

She wanted to cry, and if she could say so herself, there was nothing wrong with that.

Actually, it was a lot wrong with that thought, but she was choosing to believe it wasn't.

When she was walking past the small dining table, Lucas' hand tucked in the crook of her elbow, and if she weren't feeling so drained, Peyton would have probably smiled at how well she knew her boy.

He was certainly not letting her go into the room until they have said something. Anything really.

Peyton waited a good moment before turning around. A part of her was maybe hoping he would let it go for today, but she was being far too optimist thinking that. As she turned around slightly, she didn't miss a beat before locking eyes –_firmly_– with him. She was scared, she was, to her every bone and about _everything_, but that didn't mean at all she couldn't look at those eyes of his.

In a way, she was hoping he could understand with just look into her eyes all that she wanted to tell him without her pronouncing a single word.

In the back of her mind she knew he could, she knew that by the way her eyes were still a little bit too puffy he knew she didn't want to talk. Then again, she also knew that she needed to let out of her system even something of all she was feeling, and Lucas certainly wasn't one to let her keep that inside when they both knew she didn't need that.

"Just don't say it," She pleaded really quietly, but still with her eyes fixed firmly on his. Only seconds passed by when Lucas had already reached out for her, and wrapped both his arms strongly around her frame.

They stood there in silence for quite a long moment. Just there, the two of them, in silence, and in the middle of the kitchen. His chin was resting against her head, and Peyton's own head was resting against his chest as she always did.

"I won't," Lucas promised firmly though seemingly he was talking to the air. She shifted however at his words, and looked up at his eyes –_slightly_– squinting hers. "I won't," He repeated at the expectancy her eyes have.

Why couldn't she believe he wasn't going to say the words he actually wanted to say? Maybe because they were the truth for him, and she knew he'd give in to them sooner rather than later.

"But..." He began after just a few seconds when her eyes didn't shift away from his one second. She had been right really; he just couldn't keep it inside. He wasn't sure how, but he was sure they would. "But they are," He said nodding his head along with his words. He pushed away a bit from her, and made her stand right before him where their eyes could meet just as they should. "Things are going to be okay. For...for all of us," He promised firmly, yet shrugging unconsciously his shoulders.

Maybe that was the less she needed –_or wanted_– to hear. She'd warned him not to say it in the end, but...they have come through worst. That moment, everything that was happening was just something –_else_– the universe was putting on their way for them all to pull through. And he wasn't lying. He really wasn't. He honestly believed things were going to be just fine for all of them. From JJ to the two of them and their family.

If it hurt they were going to say goodbye to that girl too soon? Of course; way more than he could actually express, but he could only show so much. _They_ needed him now to be strong, and put smiles on his face even when the less he wanted to do was smile.

He was still going to do it. This weekend, and for as long as he'd need too.

He wasn't going to lie to her. He certainly would not. He'd tell her he was hurting too. Eventually.

But as of that moment, Peyton needed him to tell her things were going to be all right even if he didn't know that yet.

After all, she had married him; knowing those things had been one of the reasons.

"Say something," Lucas said choking back a chuckle when a couple of minutes passed by and all Peyton kept doing were just staring into his eyes.

She smiled at his words, she honestly couldn't not do it, but after a second, it faded away and her eyes shifted down to the floor. "I'm just gonna miss her," She admitted quietly, shrugging her shoulders, and sincerely, feeling awful inside.

She could tell him more; tell him maybe just how bad of a mom she was feeling already because she was worrying more for the fact that they were losing the girl – that _wasn't_ their kid, than for the one that was.

Peyton didn't have more time to think though, she heard Lucas sighing a little, and even though she wasn't looking up at him, she knew he was nodding his head. Maybe they were both crappy parents already. That was a lie, and she knew that very well, she just didn't want to admit it.

She smiled though, because the next thing Lucas did, was what she _really _needed.

He didn't say anything else; he then just wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led both their ways to the bedroom.

None of them cared for the clothes at that moment, Lucas simply laid them both down on the bed, and Peyton didn't argue.

She _couldn't_ argue.

She curled against his chest, and rested both their hands over her stomach. It wasn't as if she didn't care about it, she did; she just couldn't find in herself the might to bear with _that_ quite yet. The lone tear that fell from her eyes after a moment wasn't shed because of the appointment, though it probably should have been.

For total different reasons but still.

However, it wasn't. She shed that tear for the girl. The tiny little girl they allowed into their family and that now was just leaving.

It all hurt, and she hated it, she was honestly hating herself for just thinking about that, but for the very first time, taking her in with them seemed like a mistake in Peyton's mind.

She knew she was thinking that out of hurt, out of _pain _really, but she couldn't help it. She'd grown more attach to that girl than what she probably should have to begin with. That had been a mistake, and now not only _she_ was going to pay the consequences.

JJ would do.

That was what hurt most.

"I am happy though," She whispered turning, and catching sight of Lucas' eyes at last.

At that moment, she let yet another tear fell from her eyes; _that _one, had been because of the appointment.

* * *

**AN : **I dunno…What do you think is going to happen next?**? **


	16. Didn't We Almost Have It All?

**Author's Note : **Hi! So...apparently I left you hanging with this story for a little too long, eek…I totally lost track of time, I'm sorry, but hey! Thanks sooo much to "cayt326" for kicking a little sense into me, and reminding me how this story also needs to be updated *Constantly! lol*

I guess I just tend to "stall" when the chapter is not too fluffy and happy, but I still hope you like this one. Hope you do, and hope you let me know what you think.

**Enjoy!** …{And promise next chapter won't take too long to be up!}

**Didn't We Almost Have It All?**

* * *

It was silly, actually it felt a lot beyond _just_ silly. She honestly, not for the life of her, could say a couple words that _mattered_ without feeling as though she'd break down then and there.

JJ wasn't silly either. She had noticed that and Peyton knew that much. For the past twenty-four hours all that she had been able to say to the girl were trivial things; she'd fixed her breakfast that morning, she'd picked out her clothes for the day, she'd done everything she did every morning, other than _really_ talk to the girl.

She and Lucas told her the '_Good'_ news later that evening. They have both plastered smiles to their faces as they told her just how happy they were Janine had find her a family all too soon, and such _'Great'_ one.

That had been partly a lie. They didn't know that for sure, and that was bit by bit killing Peyton inside.

Of course, she'd tried to mask it, she had; it just hadn't been easy.

Every time that her eyes would find JJ all she could think about was how when morning Monday came there was not going to be any little girl to dress up for school. No more backpacks to make. No more peanut-butter sandwiches that would make her sick more often than not, but that she still would make. No more cutting bread in squares instead of in triangles as Peyton liked it, because the girl was the _one_ person in the world she knew that liked bread cut in squares the better. No more warming up milk in the middle of the night to go with Oreos because none girls could really sleep.

The girl was simply not going to be there anymore, and dealing with the fact was being a lot more harder than she once thought it'd be.

A part of her had hoped JJ wouldn't understand. That she'd just smile at the news and maybe even be excited because she was going to be with that new great family Lucas and Peyton told her she'd be. But the reality had been far too different. She hadn't said anything. She had only stared into Peyton's eyes, as she and Lucas spoke.

Maybe wordlessly accusing the older blonde of...abandoning her too.

That was actually was Peyton was feeling if she were one to name what she felt. She felt as if she was abandoning the girl that she had looked after for the past seventy days. Maybe that wasn't time enough to care and love someone as much as Peyton now knew not only she, but Lucas too loved that girl.

But they did, the two of them, and now letting go just seemed as the hardest thing to do.

She wasn't going to stop caring though; she had made herself that promise that very morning when her eyes fluttered open. If JJ's social worker was one to come and take the girl at four o'clock Sunday Morning, then Peyton was going to keep caring for the girl until then, and until the moment she was out of their home.

Even after that if she was being completely honest with herself.

As of now, all she could do was say to JJ little nothings. Offer her small soft smiles, and hug her tightly to her chest at every chance she'd get.

Or maybe saying all those _'silly'_ things she didn't think of say until that evening.

"I love your hair girl; did I ever tell you that?" Peyton asked, honestly, after swallowing hard a lump on her throat. She was doing JJ's hair after her bath, and without knowing really why, she was being as careful as she had ever been before. JJ was already into her PJs, but her hair was still a little too wet, so pull the brush through the girl's blonde locks was simply what Peyton felt like doing.

JJ didn't respond her question though; her eyes were down fixed on her lap, and her fingers tapping every so often the fabric of her cotton-blue striped jammies.

"It is," Peyton said anyway after a moment of silence. She continued to pull the brush through JJ's hair but a little bit slower for some reason. "You will never, really, _never_ hear me saying something bad about my hair, I...I like it, don't get me wrong," She started explaining trying as hell to sound happily, but still keeping her voice soft for the girl. "But sometimes," She said letting out a small chuckle she hadn't planned. "Sometimes I just think Luke likes it more than I do, but...it is not easy you know? You had seen how it gets in the mornings, and... I don't know, if I could, I'd wish for some pretty, easy hair like yours without one bit of hesitation..." She pulled the brush through one last time before heaving a sigh, and pulling the girl to her side.

Peyton's arms were tightly wrapped around her tiny frame, and JJ's head instinctively rested over her chest.

Silence settled in the room for what felt forever for Peyton, but that could only have been a few minutes. Lucas was outside by the kitchen, the two of them could hear him clearly. Dinner had been served over an hour ago, yet he was still messing around in the kitchen with the dishes and glasses, and God knew what else.

He was nervous about everything too. He really couldn't hide that, and even if he could, Peyton could read him anyway as if she were reading an open book. He had tried –_hard_– to keep himself busy over the past day; Peyton was sure the boy hadn't talked so much over the phone for as long as she knew him. He'd been upset with the people he was talking to. Maybe that was his way of coping or something. He couldn't be mad a Peyton; of course not. He couldn't be mad at JJ or at her social worker; that wouldn't have any logic. The girl was the one with less blame, and her social worker was just doing her job.

They couldn't take care of her permanently. That option had never been on the table. All of them knew that. Or at least Lucas, and Peyton thought they knew. They were starting a family of their own, but in all honesty, there must have been a reason why not he, not Peyton had talk about the bug's nursery yet.

Had they touch the subject; then they probably should have talked about _'When'_ the girl was leaving. She had been sleeping in the room they said would be the baby's after all. But...none of them had wanted to talk about that. Maybe that had been a mistake.

Lucas was actually sure of that now.

Maybe that was why being mad at himself was an option at that moment. He had gotten attach to the girl when he knew he shouldn't have. From the beginning he knew Peyton would grow to love that girl; he had seen that in her eyes the very first time they talked about taking JJ with them for a '_little while'_. He had dealt with that knowledge. He had told to himself earlier on, how _he _was the one that was going to stay unbiased. He would look after the girl, he would try to fill her every need as well as he could, but he wouldn't get attach.

He would treat the girl the same way he'd learned to treat the players on his team. He cared for them all, but that didn't mean he was going to break down if one change addresses and changed school.

He had failed miserably trying to do that with JJ, and it didn't snap in him how much until Peyton told him the news the day before.

He was finding it all unfair; for himself of course, but mainly for Peyton and JJ.

Maybe that was why he'd take his anger out on everybody at work. They weren't ones to blame either, but the alternative of keeping all inside hadn't worked for them too well in the past, why would it now?

In all honesty, he was dreading the next day's afternoon. He had been dreading the moment for months, he had, but now that it had finally came; it felt a hell of a lot more hard to deal with than he thought it'd be.

Letting out a breath he focused back in the dishes before him; if there was no one else to _'yell'_ at anymore, and since the girls were still getting ready for bed, then the one thing he had left to do was make himself useful in the kitchen.

He'd learned through time it actually _did_ help him think clearly.

* * *

"I'm sorry,"

Those were the two words Peyton could think of say at that moment. There were a thousand things she was apologizing for; the most important maybe, for failing her.

JJ shifted her head up a little so that she was actually meeting Peyton's eyes. Her eyes were narrowed, and if Peyton could guess, she'd say the girl was actually clueless about why the blonde was apologizing. "Me too," JJ said anyway taking Peyton aback with that response.

Now it was the older blonde's turn to narrow her eyes. She wanted to ask 'What for?' She really did, however she chose not to.

Honestly, she didn't do it because a part of her was really fearing the answer.

"I..." Peyton began again after just a few seconds. She pulled away from JJ just enough so they were properly seeing into each other's eyes. "I know that there are many things you don't understand, I know that you are maybe feeling a little sad right now..." She let her sentence trail off when JJ's head start moving up and down at her words.

At the moment, a big lump formed in her throat, but in spite of herself, Peyton swallowed it hard, and made herself smile. "I am a little sad too," She admitted nodding her head slightly as well. "But...I need you to know that it doesn't matter where you are, or with who you are, me and Luke, we are always going to care about you, _always_. You...in a really short time you became a really big part of our lives, and I...I'm really gonna miss you so, _so_ much," She said earnestly. It was actually the first time she was saying the words aloud, and surprisingly enough, she was feeling a whole lot better as she did so. "This house is going to be too quiet without you, but you know what?" She said looking firmly into JJ's eyes, and even though she honestly didn't want to cry, tears were beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

JJ's lips twisted a little before she replied, and just as Peyton's, her eyes were glistering as well. "What?" She asked fairly tearfully. Her eyes were still down, and one of her hands had already found the fringe of Peyton's skirt.

Peyton took a breath, and for the second time that night, force a smile to her face. She pulled JJ to her lap without second thoughts, and cradled her as close to her chest as she could. "But I know you are going to be okay girl," She stated looking down at JJ's face, and stroking a little her chubby cheek with her thumb. "I know that even though I am gonna be sad you are not going to be with Luke and me here anymore, I'll still know you are going to be with that awesome family Janine found you, and I know you are gonna get that life we have always been wishing for you pretty girl." She paused, lifting JJ's face with her forefinger tucked under her chin.

The two of them stayed quiet for a moment or two afterwards, just looking into each other's eyes and Peyton hoping that would be enough to let the girl know she wasn't lying.

And in all honesty, she wasn't; that was _exactly_ what she was hoping for her still.

JJ heaved a sigh after a short moment, but her eyes were still firmed fixed on Peyton's. "Where I'm gonna go?" She asked at last in a small voice, and killing Peyton a little bit more, her voice shaking a little too.

"I don't know." Peyton replied sincerely, her own voice close to crack. "But I think you are going to be a whole lot better there than here you know?" She said chirping slightly, and plastering yet again, a smile to her face. "I bet you are going to have a real room for yourself there, you're going to get your toys, and you are going to keep going to school as you always have, I, um...and the best part is that you are going to have a mom and dad just for yourself, doesn't that sound good?" She asked smiling and raising a little her eyebrows.

JJ thought for a moment, and although her lips were slightly twisted, she managed a nod with her head. "I guess," She said simply before her head burrowed in the crook of Peyton's neck. "I just liked it here,"

* * *

"I didn't know you've been doing that," Luca noted with just his head peeked through his bedroom door.

He wasn't sounding accusing or anything such, he was just curious, and a bit surprised too.

"I didn't know I had been doing it either," Peyton replied simply from the bed. She smiled sheepishly at him before her eyes shifted down again at the small scrapbook in her hands. "I...I always knew I'd make something like this someday, you know?" She began explaining when Lucas had already moved to the bed, and sat right next to her. She leaned against his side a little, and kept the book on her lap so the two of them could look at it.

"It wasn't as if I wanted to do it so our kids would see it one day when they were old and maybe…I dunno, shed some tears over it at how little they were once upon a time, that...that actually wasn't it," She said chuckling slightly, and tilting her head so she could see Lucas chuckling at her as well. She shook her head, but continued her _'story'_ since Lucas went back to quiet after just a few seconds. "I think I just wanted to make it for myself, I...I didn't – I _don't_ want to forget the things that are happening now, I mean...why if when we get old and wrinkle I start to forget things, I...I guess I'd like to still be able to see somewhere what I'm feeling right now and everything. Maybe I knew I'd make it because _I_ was the one that wanted to shed some tears some day at how little they are right now, but I don't know...I don't know if that's even selfish–"

"It's not," Lucas was fast to cut her off. He widened his eyes when she looked up at him with her jaw a little dropped. He wasn't lying; it wasn't selfish at all. "What?" He asked defensively yet playfully, pushing away a little from her so that their eyes could meet. "You don't think I'd like to eye that book someday when we are _both_ old and wrinkled?" He asked certainly making a point to her.

He knew that much.

"Okay maybe not so much," Peyton agreed with a chuckle at last, leaning in her head over his shoulder one more time. "But I...I," She said but had to pause sighing.

"You still never thought you'd make one for a kid that isn't really yours," Lucas filled in knowingly for her before she could complete her statement. Her head was so close to her chest, that even though she didn't say the words, she still nodded slightly her head, and Lucas could feel that rather clearly. "Are you gonna give it to her?" He asked more so into the air after a moment, taking into his hands the light-blue scrapbook that still rested atop his wife's lap.

"I don't know," Peyton replied after a moment of thinking over the question. "I don't think I should," She added looking up at his eyes.

Lucas eyes fell into a squint, but for a few seconds he really didn't know what to say. His free arm found the way to her waist, and he somehow managed to pull her even closer to his side. Dropping a kiss to the top of her head, he managed a small smile locking eyes again with her. "I think she's a bright kid, and I think she loves you. The little or much she stayed here she grew to love you, and I...I don't think she'll forget us that easily, but...maybe she'll like a little reminder of the time she spent here, I bet it'll be something nice for her to look at a few years from now...and, I don't know, hopefully it'll–"

"–It'll put a smile to her face," Peyton filled in for him with the thought she had hoped when she'd began that scrapbook for JJ. "That'll be nice," She admitted smiling coyly up at Lucas. After a beat, she let out a sigh and fixed her eyes back to the picture in the front of the book. It had been that first thanksgiving JJ had spent with all of them. She was with Jamie in the photograph; both kids were smiling, and with little cake stains covering their lips.

That had been a good day; maybe someday it could actually make JJ smile just as it made Peyton smile at that moment.

"Yeah it'll be," Lucas whispered back softly, giving yet again another kiss to the top of Peyton's head. "So you are giving it to her?"

Sighing again, Peyton nodded her head. "Yeah," She said locking eyes with him. "If I can anyway," She added shrugging her shoulders uneasily. "Maybe we aren't even allowed to give her that kind of things, you know?"

Lucas steadily looked into her eyes for a long moment before he shrugged his own shoulder. "We can try," He fixed it with a small chuckle Peyton matched effortlessly.

"We can," She agreed simply leaning up and kissing all too softly his lips. She didn't break the kiss for a good moment though, and in all honesty, they _both_ needed it.

* * *

Peyton hadn't made her way completely into the bedroom when she was already hearing those soft –_yet greatly heartbreaking_– sobs carrying from the bathroom.

She stopped in her tracks before reaching the bathroom door, she sat on the edge of the bed, and in spite of the soft sounds of JJ crying, she tried to pull herself together before reaching out for the girl.

It were only necessary a few words, just an '_It's time'_ from Janine to put JJ into tears. That Peyton could remember, before that afternoon, the girl hadn't cried –_at least not really cry_– in something over a month.

This time however, her tears hurt Peyton a whole lot more than the ones she had shed before.

This time around _she_ felt responsible of them, and that...that simply hurt, and was almost impossible for her to bear '_graciously_'.

She hated that word. She really did.

In the past, she had missed out on quite a few things because she wanted to do the gracious thing, and honestly, it had sucked.

Now...the feeling felt pretty much the same.

Shaking a little her head, she stood up at last from the bed. Her right hand was clutched at her heart, and her eyes were already filled with hot tears of her own.

"It's just me buddy," Peyton called softly, crouching down next to the bathroom door, and knocking it a few times. "You are okay, I...I'm here, you just..." She trailed off sighing, and squeezing her eyes tightly when her voice caught on a little sob. "Just unlock the door, okay? Can you do that?" Peyton asked almost pleading, and still hearing JJ's soft sobs at the other side of the door. She knocked the door one more time, and when she received no response, yet more tears welled up in her eyes. She bowed her head, resting it against the door, and simply gave them both a moment to sink in everything. "I am here now, and you're gonna be all right, you just got to let me in, okay? I'm not gonna let anyone do anything to you," She promised sincerely when just a few tears made its way down to her cheeks. "Please, just trust me,"

Her words stayed in the air for at least another moment or two. Peyton let her head resting on the door, and when the deadbolt started turning, she jumped a little on her spot. She wiped her eyes vaguely before at lifting her head, catching sight of that broken little girl at last. JJ's eyes were puffy, her cheeks were beyond red, and as soon as her watery eyes caught sight of Peyton, she didn't think twice in reaching out for the blonde. Peyton held the girl with both her arms almost immediately, and then just listened as she sobbed in her shoulder, with tears filling her own eyes at that moment.

JJ's arms were short, she was barely six-years-old, yet she managed to wrapped them both really tightly all around Peyton's neck and shoulders. Painful sobs racked her tiny body as she held on to Peyton for dear life. "I don't wanna go, please don't make me go," She cried into Peyton's shoulder, not letting go of her one bit, but holding on tighter to her if that were even possible.

Peyton swallowed hard; her hands resting upon JJ's head, and fresh tears of her own making its way freely down to her cheeks. "Shush," She said simply unable to say any other thing.

Even though her intentions were good, all Peyton's words did was make JJ cried even harder. Her head started shaking strongly from side to side, and when Peyton pleaded her to stop kissing the top of her head firmly, the girl only burrowed her head deeper into Peyton's shoulder, not even attempting to stop crying.

She honestly couldn't.

None of them could.

A few minutes passed by, and leaning back against the bathroom door, Peyton managed to sit herself and JJ when the girl's sobs slowly started dying down. JJ's head was as close to Peyton's chest as she could, and although she wanted, she couldn't stop her body from shaking and heaving up and down every so often.

The two didn't say a word for another good moment, it was a muffled silence, and carrying from the living room Peyton could almost hear the murmurs of the people there.

She hated herself for it, but a part of her was even hoping that JJ's future foster-parents would back out at the girl's outburst. JJ didn't even give them a proper look when she was already crying, and running all her way to the bathroom, pleading not to be taken away.

Peyton hadn't bothered to give explanations or apologies; she had only run after the girl to the back of her house. She couldn't leave her alone like that.

She actually just couldn't leave her alone quite yet.

"Don't make me go," JJ broke the silence again, and slowly but surely, her voice was breaking one more time. "I wanna stay with you," She cried, and Peyton could only shake her head closing her eyes as tightly as she could.

It wasn't as if she was telling her she couldn't stay with that motion; that wasn't it. She simply felt unable to hear the girl saying those words. She honestly couldn't find it in herself to bear it. "You're gonna break my heart with those words," Peyton said fairly tearfully, tightening her hold on JJ, and lifting her a little so that she could properly drop a strong kiss to the top of her head.

"I..." JJ tried to start again, but Peyton shushed her shaking a little bit her head again, and locking eyes properly with her.

"You are going to be fine," Peyton stated as firmly as she could sound, cupping tenderly JJ's face into her hands. "You are, you are going to have now a mom and dad of your very own, and that is so much better than staying here with us – It is," She insisted when JJ started moving slightly her head from side to side again. "I know you don't understand now, but...One day you'll see it pretty girl, this is all for the better, you are going to have a family," She said chirping in spite of herself, and everything she was feeling. At that moment, for JJ, she chose to ignore just how she felt as if someone or something was tugging out her heart. She couldn't tell the girl that she wasn't sure of that. She couldn't tell her that at that very moment she didn't think letting her go was the right thing to do. She couldn't say that. She could only smile even if it was killing her inside.

Especially when it was killing her inside actually, she was sure she'd take whatever pain if only JJ didn't have to feel any.

"You have to believe me...You're going to be okay, and we'll..." Peyton tried to continue but had to trail off sighing one more time when the words she was about to say simply couldn't come out.

In all honesty, all she wanted to tell the girl was that they would see each other again.

But she couldn't say that to her either.

She didn't know if that was even possible. More than likely it wasn't, and making that girl false promises, was something Peyton simply couldn't do.

"I love you," She settled instead, and for the very first time that evening, she smiled sincerely. _That _she could promise the girl, she loved her. A whole lot more than she probably should, but she simply did.

No one could ever change that; of _that_, Peyton was sure.

A few too many more tears passed by, a few more far too tight hugs too, and not even then _any_ of them were quite ready to say goodbye.

Lucas was holding her at that moment, and not only Peyton's eyes were on him and the girl, but the social worker's, and the so-called _fitting_ parents too. They didn't seem like bad people, they were not bad people, they genuinely seemed to want the girl, and make right to her; Peyton could see that in their eyes. They carried hope, and both of them were wearing smiles; that was reassuring at some level.

It was. Peyton's heart however, simply couldn't stop breaking still.

"I'll miss you," Lucas said earnestly into JJ's hair just before he put her back on her feet. He looked at her eyes, and forced a smile to his face. "Be good," He said attempting to sound playful, and even patting a bit her tiny nose.

JJ nodded her head, but for the second time in her whole little life, she couldn't keep tears at bay. Yet another family was being taken away from her and that was everything she could honestly understand.

Peyton then tried to keep her goodbye simple; she couldn't let herself –_or the girl_– break down again. Took her long enough to calm her down before, now they just couldn't step back.

She still hugged her..._tightly_, and didn't let go of her for a good moment.

In those very seconds, her mom flashed to her mind. Ellie did. One of the very last things she told Peyton once upon a time...it had been over six years ago, but in that very moment, it felt for Peyton as if it had been yesterday. She had told her why she'd come back; she'd said she wanted to make sure she had a great life. Peyton hadn't completely understood what she'd said next until that moment.

Ellie had said how those three weeks with her had made of her life _great_.

That was what Peyton felt at that moment. Barely seventy days they spent together, yet that girl had managed to leave quite a print to her heart.

She had made her life better; greater even if now letting her go was hurting in a way she hadn't hurt in a very long time.

There had been seven words Peyton had whispered into JJ's curls just before she let go of the girl. She had said them quietly, maybe too quietly for JJ to even hear them, but she still had.

For some reason, she simply couldn't keep them inside.

_"I don't want you to go either,"_

It had been a whisper that was probably best if JJ hadn't heard it.

Peyton could hardly admit that fact for herself, let alone could she admit it for the girl or anybody else, really.

But it was anyway the truth.

Whatever the case was, less than ten minutes after, the girl was gone, she was, and all Peyton did at that moment, was shed a few quiet tears in the shoulder of the man she loved most.

He'd said they were all going to be fine.

Peyton was _trying_ to believe in him, but…

It was just hard.

* * *

**AN : **This chapter was partly inspired by one of the too many episodes of _"Judging Amy"_ when kids were taken away from their foster families. I hope it was good enough, and well…We'll see what happens next. Please let me know what you think!

**PS **: How did I do the 'dramaaa'? ***lol*** I think I do better with fluffy chapters, but I dunno, you are the only ones that can actually say so please do it hehehe! ;)


	17. Piece of My Heart

**Author's Note : **You know, I actually liked writing this chapter. Especially the first part for some reason. I guess that's just the way I'd like to imagine LP would be there for each other, you know? Not that much with the big gestures, but with simply being there. I hope that makes any sense for you, and I really hope you get to enjoy this chapter. There are still a few more chapters of this story but I'm already in the process of "closure" though there is still one other little thing I need to throw your ways that I'm not sure how much of a "good move" is, but that you'd probably get anyhow since I'm writting that chapter at the moment.

Anywho, I'm kinda babbling already, so I'm gonna say, bye, and well...**Enjoy! ;)**

**Piece of My Heart {Before & After}**

* * *

In spite of everything, in spite of herself even, Peyton smiled softly as she felt Lucas' arms wrapping around her waist pulling her into him as closely as he could. In all honesty, at that very moment he was comforting her in ways _he_ couldn't even begin to imagine, and in ways,_ she_ couldn't even begin to explain.

Lucas Scott had his ways with Peyton Sawyer, and that was certainly no secret.

None of them said a single word for at least ten minutes or so. They were on the bed, both their hands locked into each other's, and Lucas' chin was resting over Peyton's shoulder without putting all that much weight on her. He honestly just needed having her close.

It had been some long couple of days, and the one thing that seemingly made them _both_ feel all right, was being in each other's arms. That wasn't a new thing or a secret either, but in the past few days, it had become so much more than just Lucas or Peyton's safe place. It had been the one place she felt like being without wanting to run away from it. And it had been the one place he felt as if he could be without his mind start racing about all the things that at the moment he simply couldn't control.

It was however, the place that brought tears to both their eyes the easiest.

Especially Peyton's really, and she couldn't quite explain it; that was just the way things had become in only a couple of days' time.

The one place they found solace was there in each other's arms, and that wasn't a bad thing at all, but...it wasn't a good one either.

Peyton hardly moved for as long as that little moment lasted. She shifted only slightly so that she could rest a little bit more of her weight on him.

She actually tried to focus and see if she could hear all what Lucas was thinking. She wasn't having that much success whatsoever. Mostly what she was hearing were her own daunting thoughts. The ones that had been with her all day long and the ones she actually wanted to tell Lucas.

She genuinely wanted to tell him how they should've known. How she felt kind of stupid for not seeing it before that last Friday.

She stayed quiet anyway, and it wasn't precisely because she hadn't want to broke the silence that had settled between the two of them; it was because_ he_ did so first.

"I called you," Lucas whispered into her ear really softly.

The less he wanted was making his statement sound as an accusation or something such. All he wanted was to let her know he had worry for her, and maybe also tell her –_in the nicest of ways though– _how he really hated when she turned her cell phone off, and he didn't have the slightest of clues as to where the heck she had gotten herself in.

Peyton waited a beat in silence, but after taking a small breath she flipped slowly onto her back and Lucas propped on his shoulder so that their eyes were meeting. "I didn't know," She said twisting her lips sheepishly, and actually not lying. Lucas left their house almost at nine o'clock, she had decided to stay at home at first for the day, but when she changed her mind, she also kind of forget to turn her cell phone on again.

She really didn't know he had been calling. Or maybe she chose not to know. It was no secret the boy would call, and eventually worry when she didn't pick up.

That hadn't been her intention anyway.

"You okay?" Lucas asked just as softly as he had sounded the time before. She brought her eyes down, and held them there for a moment before her head started nodding slightly.

That wasn't a lie either.

She was okay, just not _completely_ okay.

He should have maybe waited for her to tell him a response with her words. He didn't wait anyway, and before she could make sense of it, his lips were already tenderly pressed against hers.

She didn't complain, or grumble, or pull away. She actually just smiled a little bit against his lips.

That was kind of what she needed, and she was glad he had known that much.

"I am okay." Peyton told him honestly, when their foreheads met and she could see clearly into those blue eyes of his. "You?" She asked, and yet again smiled a little bit.

She didn't spend her whole day calling him, but that still didn't mean she hadn't worried about her boy.

He was that after all. He was _her_ boy.

"Now I am," Lucas replied just as honestly, before his head tilted down slightly, and their lips met once again. "I didn't–" He began once again, but trailed off when her fingers reached his –_now_– sealed lips.

Peyton actually knew exactly what he was about to say. He didn't know where she had been. Maybe part of her didn't want him to know where she had been. Yet, that had been earlier that day, now that night had come, and it was the two of them alone again, she didn't have a problem telling him anything. "I was at the hospital," She told him simply, yet one-hundred-percent sincerely.

She also shrugged her shoulders, and hadn't she done that, Lucas would have probably started worrying out of his mind the moment the _'H'_ word escaped her lips. She did so though, so he simply kept steadily breathing and asked the next thing he needed to ask. It wasn't a _'Why' _precisely. "All day?" It was for how long. He had left the house just a bit past nine o'clock in the morning, twenty minutes later he was at the set, other twenty minutes later he was calling Peyton with no response for the rest of the day.

"Yeah," Peyton responded simply one more time, before her head found the crook of his neck, and his hands found her back yet again. "I..." She began, but a coy smile graced her lips as she slightly lifted up her face meeting his eyes. "You know I...I spent all day holding babies?" She said as if that was just the craziest things she had ever done, and actually told him.

And although it was _the_ craziest, it was still rather out of character, and they both knew that.

Lucas couldn't help but match her coy smile effortlessly. All and every scenarios had played in his mind, yet, holding babies hadn't certainly been one of those. "Holding babies?" He echoed raising just enough his eyebrows telling her like that to explain just a _little_ bit more.

Peyton's eyes widened slightly, and her head started moving up and down against his chest. "In the hospital, the-there's this ward for babies in DCFS custody, they...um, some of them are sick, some of them are just too little to leave the hospital quite yet, and…the nurses said how with just holding them, touching them, just taking them out of the isolette for a few minutes, you can help them in ways the doctors can't really explain sometimes, but that...still does, it helps them, and I..."

"You just held them," Lucas chimed in fairly quietly. His eyes were on hers, but somewhere as she explained her point, hers had shifted down. She didn't say anything for a good moment; her lips only twisted slightly to her right side. He smiled softly, and his forefinger found the way to her chin and he lifted it only enough so their eyes were meeting.

"Yeah... I just held them," Peyton replied simply at last, yet again, shrugging her shoulders. "One of the nurses, she...she told me that people who contribute in some way there feel better afterwards, feel connected. That just by holding them I was changing their lives, and that maybe I was...even changing mine too," She noted sighing and this time around, her eyes didn't shift from Lucas' one second. He was smiling a little bit, and she was finding the greatest of comforts in that smile.

Lucas didn't shift his eyes from her either, yet he couldn't help when they fell into a squint. "You wanted to feel better?" He asked quietly, a part of him not wanting to hear the answer.

It wasn't as if he didn't like she'd go to the hospital and helped out there; that wasn't it at all. Lucas was proud of her because of that, yet, the fact that she had searched out for a way to feel better that wasn't him didn't set all that right for him.

That was his job; that was why she got him ultimately. When life got harder, _he_ was the one that had to make things easier for her.

It somewhat killed he wasn't able to make it all alright for his girl at that moment.

Lucas sighed a little, and Peyton simply thought over his question for a few seconds. Their room, hell their whole house fell into silence as she thought in just the right thing to say. She still didn't know what that was, and was pretty sure, she wouldn't know that for sure even if she were one to spend the whole night musing over his question.

His question that felt more like a statement actually, but that maybe also meant how well he knew her. "I wanted to feel better." Peyton echoed at last, and her voice was actually carrying all shades of uneasiness. She didn't want to make him feel bad, as she knew he probably was feeling. She was just saying what was true and hoped he'd understand.

If well it was true, the one person that could _really_ give her solace was he, that didn't mean sometimes she didn't feel as though she should look out for that comfort elsewhere. And surprisingly enough, the hospital and all the little babies _almost_ did the trick.

It helped for a while. It made her forget all the stuff she didn't want to think about. But all of that only lasted until that nurse had said those words to her, and it wasn't as if her words had made her feel bad. That hadn't been it. They had just saddened Peyton because she knew she was right.

Lucas took a deep breath looking firmly at her; his hand reached up finding her cheek, and she simply had to smile softly at his touch. "Do you feel better now?" He asked and smiled when at his words Peyton's eyes fell close, and her own hand reached up resting upon his.

"I am now," She replied sincerely as her eyes fluttered open again, and her eyes fixed firmly on his. She smiled softly yet again before lifting up herself a little and pressing gently her lips against his. "I miss her," She admitted before their kiss had completely being broken, and their foreheads were only slightly touching.

Lucas didn't respond but only nodded his head before lying on his back, and pulling her closer to his side one more time. Her head rested on his chest, and his chin rested against her messy tangled curls. He stopped smiling the moment Peyton wasn't looking at him anymore.

He didn't say the words, but of course he missed her too.

He really didn't need to say it aloud; she already knew that.

* * *

"I really don't know what you are doing,"

If that statement hadn't come out carrying such sincerity Peyton would have probably be mad at Brooke for saying so. Who was she to question her, right?

She actually was her best friend, so maybe she did have some right, but in all honesty, Peyton didn't care about those special '_Best-Friend-Rights'_ at that moment. She wanted to be left alone, and in peace, not being asked questions she had no clue how to respond.

She actually didn't reply, and as Brooke's voice and presence kept lingering in her room, she curled up into the tightest ball she could. It was even a bit frustrating at that moment, she wasn't complaining, but not even her body was just hers anymore, and that was just starting to become a bit too obvious for everybody else and not just for her and Luke.

That wasn't the point anyway, and she really wasn't complaining about it.

She just didn't want to acknowledge Brooke, and so she was hoping that the fact of having her back at her, and no words coming out from her mouth would make the brunette catch the hint.

But apparently, she didn't, since only a few seconds later, Peyton felt her sitting at the other side of the bed. She stayed quiet for a long moment though, and Peyton wasn't actually one to complain about that.

At least not at first; a few minutes passed by, and at last, Peyton had to give in and roll onto her back so that she was seeing in Brooke's direction. "What do you think I'm doing?" Peyton asked, and her question_ certainly_ carried back ten times more harshly that she aimed to sound in the first place.

She tried not to show that anyway, and simply kept her eyes steadily looking into Brooke's.

At her question, Brooke shook slightly her head, but not for a second back out. She had come with a purpose; she wasn't going anywhere until she'd achieve it. "Do you wanna talk about?" Brooke asked back instead, and apparently, Peyton didn't think of that response as the right one since her eyes widened quite a bit, and her jaw even dropped.

The blonde sat up on the bed, and just rested herself against some pillows until her eyes were properly meeting Brooke's. "That wasn't what I asked you," She said simply, yet her head had begun to shake slightly from side to side.

She was being a bit too bitchy, but Brooke wasn't really minding about that. She had actually dealt with worst versions of that curly blonde-haired friend of hers. "You're a moping," She stated all so simply that she even wanted to laugh at how true her statement was. "You are moping and so is Lucas. I...I guess it's a good thing he's at least going to work, but today's Wednesday and you just hadn't showed up your butt at the office, let alone someplace else...That is what I think you are doing," Brooke explained pointedly, and shrugged her shoulder once the words finished coming out of her mouth.

Peyton's lips pursed, and if Brooke could say so herself, she could swear Peyton's teeth were gritted inside her mouth.

Her stare was firm on Brooke's eyes, but the brunette simply couldn't care, and without giving Peyton a chance to fight back whatever her arguments were, she kept saying what she _needed _to say. "And you wanna know what the worst part is?" She asked, and Peyton didn't even bother to respond or even nod her head.

She was clearly upset, but Brooke wasn't caring all that much about that so she chose to keep going anyway. "The worst part is that I don't get you guys, I don't think none of us do...It is not as if JJ had died or something like that – heaven forbid," She said looking up at the ceiling for a second. "She just went away because that's the way things work, and you two wanted it that way–"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Peyton interrupted pointedly, and Brooke didn't miss one bit of the hurt her voice was carrying.

The brunette chose to ignore that too…if only for the time being anyway.

"It is not supposed to mean anything," Brooke said back, and she couldn't help her voice for rising slightly. She honestly just wanted Peyton to snap back into her life instead of mope around as she had for the last three days. "It just the way things are and you know it, you miss the girl, that's only normal but what the heck are you doing locking up yourself because of it?" She let her question linger in the air since Peyton was far from coming up with an answer.

She did want to answer but she didn't know _how_. The words simply couldn't come out. She wanted to tell her she wasn't locking herself up, although she kind of was. She still wanted to tell her she was wrong in everything she had said.

But...She simply couldn't. Maybe it was because Brooke was actually right, and Peyton was being just a little too stubborn to admit it.

A good moment passed by before Peyton let her face fell into her hands, and she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands before her head simply started shaking decisively. "I don't need this right now," She muttered still covering her face, and not stopping her motion with her head for one second.

Brooke thought for a instant, but just couldn't not respond. "If you don't deal with this right now then when are you?" She asked sounding also a little too harshly, but...she honestly couldn't help it.

If she wasn't firm, how in hell was she supposed to make Peyton see things the way she actually _should_?

"You gotta deal with what you are feeling, and god, stop beating yourself up upon something that really isn't that complicated," Brooke said sighing, and softening the urgency in her voice just a little bit.

She couldn't help doing that either; Peyton looked broken. Torn, and worn out over a decision she probably had known for weeks, maybe even months but just hadn't had the guts to admit.

By that time, Peyton looked up from her hands, and her eyes met Brooke's at last, her eyes were already sparkling with unshed tears. "I hate this," She admitted painfully, and bit strongly her bottom lip in an attempt to make it stop quivering. "That's what you wanna hear? That I hate all of it, that...I hated waking up on Monday and not find Luke and JJ looking silly cartoons in the living room? That this house is really_ too_ damn quiet all the time and I can't bear it most of the time? That..." She paused closing her eyes tightly for a second when her voice cracked. "Ugh, that I hate that all her stupid drawings are everywhere in the house and I just can't take them down," A tear fell from her eyes at the admission, but she wipe it away rather fast with the palm of her hand.

She shook her head shifting her eyes down, and Brooke couldn't only twist her lips feeling partly concern. In a way, she was hoping letting all that out was a good sign anyhow.

"I..." Peyton began again after a beat, but trailed off taking a deep breath and lifting her head up. "I just hate she's not here anymore,"

Brooke waited a moment before saying another word, and instead moved closer to Peyton in the bed wrapping her arms strongly around the blonde's frame. She cradled her closer to her chest, and stroked a little her back as a few more tears kept falling from her eyes.

"Then what are you gonna do?" Brooke asked softly after a few minutes. She wasn't pushing so hard, just enough, and of that she was rather sure. She felt Peyton however shaking her head against her own chest so she pulled away so they were seeing properly into each other's eyes. "What are you gonna do?" She asked again when Peyton was already sit up on the bed.

The blonde's head shook yet again, and her eyes shifted down before she took a deep breath and just shrugged her shoulders. "What can I do?" She asked back when a couple more tears fell from each of her eyes. She didn't wipe them this time around though. "It wasn't supposed to be this hard, I...I was supposed to look after her until she got a family, she now does, and I...God, I can't stop thinking about her. I think if she's all right, if she needs something, if she likes her new parents..."

"If she misses you too," Brooke chimed in knowingly, and although she wasn't ready to admit it, Peyton nodded her head a few times. "I still think you're missing a point," She noted before Peyton could say anything. The blonde's eyes narrowed but even if she wanted, she couldn't ask just exactly what that meant, so Brooke continued explaining anyhow. "She already had a family. She's had one for almost three months and that is what is killing you, that she's lost you two now as well–"

"Don't say things like that," Peyton nearly pleaded shaking her head. "That's not how things were supposed to be–"

"But they were anyway," Brooke interrupted pointedly, and far too strongly. "You two became her family whether you wanna keep ignoring it or not...You were her mom in all ways that mattered these few months and that's what you should have thought before letting her go,"

For the first time that evening Peyton chose not to shake her head.

She didn't know how much of that statement was true but _"Letting her go"_ part certainly stung in her heart. She shouldn't have done that, and maybe she'd been right earlier, and all Brooke was saying was actually the truth.

They shouldn't have let that little girl go; Peyton knew that very much at that moment.

* * *

It wasn't as if he had been surprised of seeing her like that; although he kind of was.

It wasn't as if he hadn't wanted to find her in the living room instead than in their room; he had actually wanted that.

It wasn't as if he hadn't hoped to see his wife scurrying around their house as she hadn't since the day social services took the girl away from them. He had hoped that.

He had.

Yet tonight, when he first stepped into their home and a picture of nervousness welcomed him from the living room, he simply had worried.

He couldn't help it. Peyton had been by the couch, her back at him at first, but after a few seconds when she turned around and their eyes locked, he'd seen so much more than just the obvious by the way she was biting nervously her bottom lip.

He had entered the house through the kitchen door, and surprisingly enough, _she_ had made dinner. If that had happened five times since they got married, that would certainly be an exaggeration.

Lucas honestly didn't want to jump to conclusions before he had even asked what was going on, but he still couldn't help the knot that formed in the pit of his stomach as soon as he walked into the house.

She seemed nervous, and honestly, that was more than enough to get him nervous too.

More so, after _she_ spoke the first words of the night before he could even say _'Hi'_

"We have to move to a bigger house anyway," Peyton had said far_ too_ nervous before standing up from the sofa, and yet again, start biting on her bottom lip. "We have," She insisted and Lucas truthfully let out a chuckle.

A nervous chuckle, but nonetheless a chuckle.

He just had no idea where the heck she was coming..._or_ going with that.

She still wasn't wrong anyway. They had to move soon enough.

"Okay," Lucas said simply after gaining control of his emotions again. His voice was rather cautious anyway, but she couldn't blame him. She just couldn't. He moved closer to her at the other side of the living room, and placed his hands on both her sides before she could object. She actually smiled coyly in his direction when he sat them _both_ on the sofa, and her back was resting quite comfortably against his chest.

She never stopped biting her lip though, and Lucas didn't miss that, even after her head found its way to his shoulder. She sighed heavily and stayed quiet for a good moment as Lucas simply started stroking softly her back. "I love this place, you know I do," Peyton began explaining her point, but her voice was still carrying rather softly, and full of uncertainness still for some reason. "You grew up here, and I thought I'd grow up here too, but..."

"It's small...I get it," Lucas interrupted pointedly, _yet_, rather sweetly, and Peyton could only nod her head as she thought in just what to say next.

"It is," She agreed anyway in the end, and honestly, the coy smile she was wearing was way more than just priceless. "We wouldn't fit anyway and now and everything and..."

"You're kinda rambling." Lucas pointed out, yet again his voice carrying all shades of sweetest.

Peyton smiled and even chuckled slightly at his words. She waited a beat, but after just a few seconds, she lifted up her head from his shoulder so that their eyes were meeting properly. "I am rambling," She granted simply nodding just a little bit her head. She took a deep breath as if for courage, and then just stare at him with her eyes_ slightly_ glistered.

A part of Lucas was actually hating himself for not noticing those sparkling unshed tears in her eyes before.

He still didn't have any time to say anything about it, before Peyton was speaking softly again. "And I am scared," She confessed sincerely, unable to lie to him really. "Out of my mind actually," She added, and Lucas matched the small chuckle that escaped her lips after her admission. "But I want her back," She stated simply, yet sounding as serious as she hadn't sound in days. Her eyes were firmly on his, and the small smile she had wear all that evening completely disappeared as she waited for Lucas' response. It really was obvious he had been taken aback; his eyes had widened before falling into a squint after all.

But even though Peyton had said the truth to him, and was scared out of her mind at that moment, she didn't shift, not for a split second, her eyes from his. She had thought about it all day, hell, she had been thinking about it all for months, and if she knew Lucas just as well as she think she did; then she'd dare to say he'd had the same thoughts she had for the last three months.

In all honesty, all Peyton wanted to tell him at that moment was to say _something_. That she wasn't liking one bit the silence, but then again, she really couldn't blame him. "I know is crazy to just think about it," She started explaining simply because the silence was driving her crazy.

And actually also because that silence was only letting her know how maybe she did need to convince him. It was crazy indeed in the end. "But maybe it's not, maybe it is not _that _crazy, maybe she's not the only one who needs us, because...she does, she needs someone, she needs a family, she needs _us_. We–we are building a family and there is really not a reason why she can't be a part of that, she...she's already a part of it, you...I think we can do this, we can, and I mean...it'll be crazy, it is already crazy, but...isn't that just life, Luke? And I know, I know we got married hardly a year ago and...maybe things are happening far too fast, but...It's been three days, less than that; and I–I haven't stop thinking about her in that time... and I miss her, and I want her back, and I...maybe fast is not that bad. If...Just think about it Luke," She said with her lips slightly twisted even though her voice was actually carrying so much hope that Lucas' heart was maybe breaking a little every time another word came out for her mouth. He still managed to nod his head a little, and even offered her a soft smile as she continued talking.

"Things with us had never been precisely slow," She noted with a chuckle Lucas simply had to match. That was nothing other than the truth. "We are good now, we are together, and we are happy, and... I love our family as it is, but that...that is with JJ here, and I think you know that too," Her eyes shifted down as the words finished coming out of her mouth, but not a beat later, Lucas' forefinger was already tucked under her chin making her look up at his eyes.

"I do,"

Was all Lucas had to say, and in all honesty, that was all and _so _much more than Peyton needed to hear at that moment.

* * *

**AN : **They had to get her back, right? You'd see next chapter just "How" - Hope you've liked this, and please let me know what you think! **;) **


	18. Lost & Found

**Lost & Found**

* * *

"_Three weeks for a lifetime"_

That was the one thought that constantly filled Peyton's mind for the last eighteen days. And if she could say so herself, the thought had also filled Lucas' mind.

Actually, she knew it had.

If those eighteen days had done something to the two of them; that had surely be bring them both even closer together.

At nights, when she couldn't sleep, and well...when_ he_ couldn't sleep either, they would just turn the lights on and just _talk_. Then they would not talk about JJ precisely, they spent all day long talking about that little girl and everything that came along with her, so...at nights, when both of them were far too worn out to sleep or talk a little bit more about the girl, talking about all those little nothings that crossed their minds seemed always as the thing to do.

Those weeks, and late night conversations about anything, had someway, somehow brought them closer together, and it had only made them both be more sure about how they were doing the right thing at getting JJ back. They were ready. Maybe not everybody could see it –_not JJ's social worker at first certainly_– but they had actually been ready to adopt that little girl from the moment each of them laid eyes on her even if they hadn't known it right away.

She belonged with them. She did. And in just a matter of days, she would be. She would be theirs and all of it would have been worth it.

Fourteen days had been _'probation'_; not only for JJ, but especially for Lucas and Peyton. The girl had stayed those fourteen days with the foster family she had been placed four days before Peyton called her social worker and told her just how much things had changed. It hadn't been easy, far from easy actually. But it had been _it_. It had been the one thing the two of them had wanted to do and little by little, they were getting there.

Psychologists – lots, lots of meetings with them, questions, even drawings by JJ, and so, fifteen days after the first meeting, it was said by one of them how Lucas and Peyton were indeed fit parents for Jennifer Jae Cooper soon-to-be Scott, and they could actually say that for sure now.

They hadn't seen the girl in those almost twenty-one days. Not one time. Not even a phone call. That was part of their _'probation' _apparently. According to JJ's social worker, they had to give the girl some '_fair-time'_ to spend and share with her new family. Had she not settle with them –_properly_– after fourteen days, then Lucas and Peyton would have their fighting chance for the girl.

Sure enough, sixteen days later, they had _earned_ that chance, and even without seeing her or talking to her, from the very moment they started with the psychologists meetings and the endless paper work, they simply knew they'd get her back.

That was the way things were supposed to be.

Nobody told them much about how JJ was doing in that time she was not with them. Not Lucas, not Peyton know how she was coping with the change or whether she was coping or not at all.

They had only see a couple of her drawings from some sessions with the psychologists; that had been a bit reassuring since the girl drew a pretty blue sky with a lot of stars and forms of people that resembled _everybody _but her new parents.

It had felt far too wrong to feel good about that for them, especially for Peyton for some reason, but those little drawings had helped them more than they could explain anyway.

It let them know somehow just how what they were doing wasn't precisely just for them, but mainly for JJ.

She missed them, too.

The day they got the call had been a Tuesday; Tuesday afternoon, and for some bizarre reason Lucas had been with Peyton even when he shouldn't have been.

He was supposed to be at school, yet he'd surprised her with lunch at her office only a little past noon.

She had actually almost cried over the phone, yet she hadn't done it. She had just smiled and kissed Lucas pouring out every bit of emotion she had inside into that kiss.

They were told that three days from that call they'll get her back, and that if things went okay, they would be able to adopt the girl two months from that upcoming Friday.

Things had simply worked themselves out the way they should, and that had been three days ago.

Going into DCFS's offices hadn't been too nice for Peyton that morning though; especially, since Lucas stayed downstairs at the lobby filling God knew what more paperwork. He hadn't been too fond of letting her go upstairs all by herself, but he still had let her, and she still had gone alone – only at first naturally. She could have stay downstairs with him while the papers were filled, but she simply couldn't.

That little girl was upstairs, and she needed them, even if it was only one at the time.

When Peyton reached the offices, she spotted JJ almost immediately, and that _'simple'_ fact had made the last twenty-one days a whole lot more than just worth it.

Someone was taking one of her hands, and her eyes were looking to the front rather blankly. Her thumb was on her mouth, and maybe it was because she was just nervous and didn't want to be there.

Or maybe it was because she didn't understand just _why_ she was there.

Or maybe, just maybe it was because her hair was loose, and all over her face.

JJ genuinely hated that; Peyton knew that and so much more. That was exactly why she was coming back home with them that evening.

The first words JJ had said into Peyton's hair after her tiny arms had found the blonde's neck, had almost break Peyton's heart a little bit more.

She had said, _"You came back."_ She had said the words with a few too many tears in her eyes and in her cheeks. And certainly, in the smallest of voices that broke every so often as she spoke.

Peyton didn't respond but only hugged her back as tightly as she could, and kissed the top of her head more times than just one. She stayed at least five minutes crouched down on the floor with the girl's arms wrapped around her neck.

She certainly couldn't lift her anymore –_not even with Luke not around_– so after a good moment, Peyton simply settled sitting on the floor against the wall, and only naturally, with her little girl sitting on her lap.

JJ's whimpers had become silly hiccups by the time Peyton saw properly for the very first time in almost a month that pretty face of hers.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," Peyton said far too sincerely, and rather earnestly to JJ, and JJ only. She wasn't even bothering to acknowledge the presence of the other people that were with the two of them in the room.

In all honesty, she didn't want to be rude, impolite, or boorish. She just really couldn't care about them.

And as it seemed and was, JJ didn't care about them all that much either. She nodded her head at Peyton's words a couple of times before her hand reached up, and wipe away from Peyton's cheek a few tears she hadn't even known she had shed. "I missed you, too," She said back just as sincerely, and let her lips curl upwards when Peyton smiled in her direction, and before either of them could say something else, Peyton had already cradle the girl to her chest, and JJ's head had found its way to the crook of her neck.

After a beat when JJ let out a chuckle, Peyton looked down at her with a questioning look on her face, but still without attempting to hide just how much she had loved those little sounds coming out of her mouth.

Those had only been yet another thing Peyton had missed deeply about the girl.

"You're big," JJ pointed out before she let out another fit of chuckles, and this time around so did Peyton.

The blonde hugged her again and couldn't argue her statement for a good moment.

It was actually even impressive for _her_ just how big she had gotten in only a little over three weeks.

"I am _getting_ big." Peyton corrected pointedly anyhow, and all the two could do at that moment was go back to laughing.

She was big indeed.

Maybe a couple more minutes passed by, maybe a little more, anyway just a few seconds before Lucas walked into the room, Peyton had told the girl what she had been dying to tell her.

"We won't leave you again, _I_ won't leave you again...ever again," She had promised as sincerely as she had ever before promise something, and a part of her was actually sure JJ had believed her since in only mere seconds, the brightest of smiles tugged at the corners of her lips.

Peyton had smiled back, but without missing yet another beat, she turned the girl around slightly so that she was seeing at the spot where Lucas was. "Go on, say hi," She said simply into JJ's ear. "He'd missed you, too," She added before kissing a bit JJ's cheek, and helped her up a little from her lap.

Lucas didn't exactly wait until she was up on her feet completely before he was already scooping her up into his arms, and as close to his chest as he could.

Peyton hadn't lie one little bit; he had surely missed her. He had missed her a lot.

"We're taking you home, all right?" Lucas asked pushing away from her only enough to see her sparkling green eyes. JJ simply nodded her head before her lips found his cheek for a small kiss, and her tiny arms yet again found his neck.

And not really surprisingly, by the second time the girl hugged him, Peyton's arms had also found his waist for that big hug the three of them hadn't share in some long three weeks. Was in that very moment however, when "_Three days for a lifetime_," became a fact and not just a hope...

A reality

* * *

"Not ever?"

It was a simple question yet it held a lot behind and Peyton knew that much. Maybe she shouldn't promise things she wasn't sure she could honor, but if she knew one thing, and one thing only at that moment, that was how she simply wasn't letting that girl down again.

"Not _ever_," Peyton replied at last and with one strong nod of her head. "Not if I can help it," She added, and her head kept slightly moving up and down. Maybe that had actually been the right thing to say...or maybe it wasn't, but she still liked to believe it had been anyway.

It wasn't a lie so maybe that was enough.

She wasn't one to leave her ever again, that was a promise she'd keep for as long as she could, and that was what she'd promised JJ.

If Lucas hadn't been in the kitchen –_getting them "celebration" ice-cream actually_– Peyton knew he'd promise JJ the same thing if she had asked him the same question she had asked Peyton.

JJ was crouched down on the floor by the foot of the bed when Lucas stepped inside the room. Her head nearly jerked towards him at the door, but she still let out a chuckle when she saw it was_ just_ him. Peyton was sat up in the bed against some pillows, and seemingly, he had interrupted a conversation. In any case, he kind of didn't care all that much about that. He was bringing them ice-cream after all, they couldn't be mad at him, right?

And even if they were ones to be, it wouldn't last, they were a family now.

A real one.

And in his book, real families solved problems in the blink of an eye with a cuddle, a kiss, or a hug, that was simply the way things were now, and Lucas was sure of that.

"We found your secret," JJ called before Lucas could pronounce a word. The girl smiled rather mischievously in his direction, before hopping on the bed right next to Peyton.

The blonde cradled the girl to her chest, and laughed at the confused look in Lucas' face. Being completely honest, the boy looked quite adorable when he started pouting when he didn't know something.

"We kind of did," Peyton agreed at last as Lucas moved closer to the bed. He put the bowl of ice-cream by the nightstand, and then just sat on the edge of the bed looking at both girls through squinted eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lucas asked seriously –Or, at least trying to sound as serious as he could. "What secret?"

"Yours," JJ sang before turning around in Peyton's arms, and pulling from under her pillow Lucas' so-called '_secret_'

His jaw dropped slightly when his eyes caught sight of the book, and both JJ and Peyton couldn't help but chuckle one more time at him.

It really wasn't embarrassing at all, all Daddies-to-be supposedly had one according to the preface of the book, but the fact that he had hidden it under his side of the bed;_ that_ was why they were laughing.

He was kind of cute though.

Between the whole madness with the girl, and meetings, and paperwork, and hopes, and just everything, apparently naming the Bug had only cross Lucas' mind so far.

Peyton was glad anyway he had thought about it, and had even buy that alleged best baby names book. She was glad he was thinking about them; of course they were part of their family too.

An ever-growing part of their family at that.

"You even filled it with post-its, how many more kids do you think you are getting?" Peyton asked genuinely trying to get rid of that huge hint of tease her voice was carrying. She had failed though, and Lucas inability to come up with an answer –_whatever answer_– was becoming funnier by the second.

That was certainly a fact.

JJ chuckled breaking the small moment of silence that had settled, and grabbed the book from Peyton's hands flipping freely through the pages –_and multiple post-its, and far too many dog-eared pages_– letting out yet more chuckles every so often.

At last, Lucas matched her snickering – Actually, _their_ snickering. By the time he managed to snap himself out of his thoughts, Peyton was chuckling too at the names he'd picked.

They weren't that bad anyhow!

Without second thoughts –_yet with a smile on his face_– Lucas pulled the book from both girls' hands.

"Hey!" They cried indignantly in unison and now it was _his_ turn to laugh _at_ them.

"It's _my_ book," Lucas reminded them pouting playfully, and really fighting back laughter. "You two said so," He added, and if JJ weren't only six, he could have sworn the girl glared at him just the same way Peyton did so.

Being completely honest to himself, the fact that for the time being he was the _only_ man in that house of women was even a little intimidating. He didn't even want to think in all the things those two were going to put him through now.

Saying that he was longing already the time when the Bug would come along, was clearly an understatement.

He _needed_ a little back-up already.

Those mischievous grins in those two girls' faces were living proof of that fact.

"But it is _Peyton's_ Bug," JJ chimed in rather knowingly. Her head moving steadily up and down as she spoke.

Peyton followed her lead, and started nodding her head as well, biting playfully her lip as an attempt to kill the smile that so badly wanted to tug on her lips. "It's my bu–" She began quite eagerly, but shifting her eyes down trailed off far too thoughtful.

Lucas would have worried if he hadn't seen than silly smile growing at the corners of her lips only a few seconds later. "You okay?" He asked anyhow, and it wasn't precisely because _he_ was concerned –_he wasn't anymore_– JJ however, just a little bit.

Her eyes didn't narrow for any reason obviously. The girl cared for Peyton and that was _definitively_, not a secret.

"Yeah," Peyton replied without missing another beat. Her voice was firm, and she hadn't stopped smiling.

Lucas was simply loving that. It wasn't as if she hadn't smile in the last few weeks, she had. More times than one, she just hadn't smile like _that_ in quite a long time already.

He was glad to see that smile back, and he was actually even more glad at the _'What'_ that brought it.

She hadn't acknowledged it. Not really. She hadn't said a single_ real_ word about it since the day they left the Doctor's office almost a month ago.

Sure, she had said they had to move anyway, but she hadn't really talked about it.

Neither had he. Not because it hadn't been in his mind, –_it certainly had_– but he just knew she wasn't ready for that yet so he respected it.

She was ready _now _anyway, and for more reasons than one, Lucas knew _JJ _had got her there.

He was glad about that. He simply was.

"I..." She said again, but a coy smile growing on her lips made her pause again. She took a small breath, and simply shrugged her shoulder shifting her eyes so that she was looking in JJ's direction. "_Are _my Bugs," She corrected pointedly and the nervous chuckle that escaped her lips at her admission had been just impossible to keep inside.

It felt far _too_ different; one thing was knowing the fact, a polar opposite was saying it aloud.

JJ's eyes stayed narrowed however, and it was only obvious the girl was still a bit confused. "Bugs," She echoed thoughtfully, and her teeny tongue even stuck out a little. "Bugs," She said again before Lucas or Peyton could say something back at her. Then again, this time around her state came along with a little smile that slowly but surely was already finding its place on her lips.

Honestly, that smile alone was reason more than enough for both Lucas and Peyton to smile – Or better yet, _keep_ smiling.

"More than_ one_ Bug," JJ pointed out quite loudly at last when she finally put two and two together. Her eyes almost immediately shifted down to Peyton's stomach, and in all honesty, Peyton had no idea why, but she knew _exactly _what the girl was going to say. She still just looked over at her with expectancy in her eyes and nodding just slightly her head. "No wonder you got too big," She said giggling at her own words before Peyton pulled her to her side strongly and only matched her snickering.

That was the way they should have receive –_and celebrate_– the news a month ago after that Doctor's appointment; with giggles, and smiles, and teasing, and bugs and not just bug.

Then again, Peyton couldn't really be upset at any of that at moment, better late than never, right?

That was certainly a fact, and even though the idea that before their second wedding anniversary they were going to have not just _one_ kid as it had been the '_plan'_ but now _three_ was far too crazy, she honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

She just wouldn't.

* * *

"You know we shouldn't have let her sleep here,"

Peyton was honestly hearing the words that were coming out of his mouth but she simply couldn't believe them.

He was lying a bit. He just wanted to say what he was _'supposed'_ to say, after all he was only mere months away to be that girl's official dad, so he might as well started acting like one, right?

That was the thought that crossed Peyton's mind at his words, and she couldn't help it, she had to laugh at him a little.

Only a little and rather softly of course since the girl was snuggled peacefully in between the two, and even though Luke had said the words, he actually hadn't meant them. He was just as glad as Peyton was that the girl was right there right now.

It was as if she'd been the missing piece of the puzzle of their lives; expect that the puzzle didn't seem all that puzzle-y anymore.

It seemed and it felt kind of whole at last.

"You were gonna be the one telling her she had to go to her room?" Peyton noted all too quietly leaning in a little to his side of the bed. She was careful of course, the fact that she was happy the girl was there didn't mean she wanted to wake her, but in any case, only a few seconds later, Peyton's head had somehow found Lucas' chest.

His left hand was resting over JJ's tummy, and his other hand traveled all the way up to the back of Peyton's neck as he pulled her closer for a kiss.

It was chaste, simple kiss, yet it meant everything for the two of them at that moment.

In all honesty, that was their quiet kiss of victory, and not surprisingly, it was enough and more.

A few minutes passed by with their foreheads meeting, and their eyes locked. Peyton smiled, and even let out a small chuckle before shifting and resting her head back over his chest. She found a way –_an awkward way that was, but nonetheless a way_– to wrap a bit her own arms around JJ's little frame as well. She was sleeping way more than just soundly, as if she really hadn't sleep in years...that made them both feel maybe just as good as the teeny smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she slumbered made them feel.

"Which names did you think?" Peyton asked far too quietly into the air when Lucas' hands started playing with the curls on the top of her head. She hadn't say anything before, maybe thinking he was already asleep, but clearly, he wasn't.

"Thought you were sleeping," Lucas noted with a chuckle he couldn't help.

Clearly, they were kind of on the same page.

Peyton didn't exactly reply but started chuckling softly nodding her head as she burrowed it deeply into Lucas' embrace.

He naturally matched her snickering, but after just a moment sobered up without really stopping to smile. He honestly just couldn't help that smile. "You really wanna know?" He asked tilting his head down only enough so that he was seeing into her eyes.

Peyton stared back at him quite blankly before her shoulder simply shrugged. "Of course," She said simply, yet she was positive she meant it, she was also positive Lucas knew she meant it.

She wouldn't say the words if she didn't.

"All right," Lucas said smirking slightly and nodding his head along with his words. Maybe all of it a little too smugly, but he actually was loving the idea of finally being able to talk to Peyton about _that_ particular subject. "I...Okay but you have to promise me you won't tease me..." He trailed off at her sheepish look, and at the way her jaw dropped. Her eyes had widened too and he honestly didn't understand why. That warning was definitely _not _in vain. If Peyton _Scott_ was good at something –_besides a hundred other little things_– one of those was certainly teasing him.

"Say you won't, I...the bug is not even born yet, so any cliché say can't apply yet, you..." Quite suddenly, he stopped his rambling when Peyton started chuckling against his chest. "You're doing it already!" He cried dramatically looking down at her in disbelief.

He hadn't even said the names yet!

Then again, that was probably part of it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Peyton cried rather laughingly lifting her head enough to see his eyes and smile sincerely as she did so. "I just asked you for the names not how much you are going to spoil her," She called far too casually and this time around, _Lucas' _jaw was the one that dropped.

She had read right through him since the very moment he started rambling. She knew him all that very much.

When Lucas couldn't come out with a _'decent'_ kind of line to reply at her, Peyton couldn't help but beam smugly herself now. JJ stirred just a little bit, and although she wanted to keep laughing –_and keep teasing him for being so darn predictable_–, Peyton sobered soon enough because at the end of the day, all they had been through in the last few weeks had been for _her_, _because_ of that little girl. Honestly, the least they could do now was letting her sleep soundly for a change.

After a moment, after the girl had finished turning and her eyes stayed all too closed, Peyton looked up at Lucas' eyes with no words, yet with her eyebrow far too rose. She still wanted her answer!

"Abby," Lucas all but grumbled at last. His eyes were squinted –_not shocking at all, really_– but he was also kind of pouting and for a reason Peyton really didn't want to explain, not to herself, not to him, she reached up a little taking his lips into hers, and giggling against them after she had mumbled a muffled _'Why?'_

Lucas shook his head as though he was bracing himself to reply just '_Why'._ However, just when he was about to tell her –_yet again_– not to make fun of him, that mischievous grin on her face told him better not to waste his words in already lost battles. "It's Abigail really," He elaborated, and surprisingly enough, Peyton stated quiet as he spoke. "It…The book says, it–it means my father's joy," He explained shaking his head, and looking away almost as soon as the words finished coming out of his mouth.

In any case, maybe even a couple of minutes passed by, and he didn't hear anything back from Peyton.

Okay, so maybe it had only been a few seconds but for Lucas it felt a whole lot more considering it was Peyton with whom he was talking to.

She really_ should _be laughing at that moment.

Yet, she wasn't, and maybe Lucas was even a little bit concerned. His eyes shifted back at hers after a moment, and there she was, just staring back at him, with the cutest of smiles on her face. "Aren't you gonna say something? – Anything?" Lucas tried feeling actually quite lost.

Peyton let out a small chuckle at _those _words at last, and shrugged her shoulders still smiling. "I'm not surprised," She said simply shrugging yet again her shoulders. "It's kinda cute actually," She acknowledged his point when her hand found its way to his cheek. She stroked it a little too softly before her mischievous grin went back to her face. "But I still don't like it," She said far too sincerely before at last, letting out a fit of giggles she mightily tried to muffle against Lucas' shirt.

There, _there_ was the Peyton he had gotten married to.

Lucas laughed too anyhow –_softly, yet he couldn't not do it_– and kissed really strongly the top of her head. He should maybe ask why, actually maybe he would, just not right now.

Just not at that moment. He wanted to just hold her...laugh with her, and being just able to be happy, and complete with her and their..._children_ actually.

The thought alone made him want to smile – better yet, smile wider, and kissed her time and time again until the very moment she told him to stop.

She would never do that, and Lucas knew that much.

When both their chuckles died a bit, their eyes ended up locked, and the two of them had the sincerest of smiles set firmly on their lips at that moment. "What is wrong with Abby?" Lucas pouted anyhow after a moment. He was trying to sound serious. Yet, he failed. He was too darn happy to play silly games pretending he wasn't just as happy as he knew he was.

"It's cute." Peyton agreed fairly goofily nodding her head all too fast. "But I don't see me calling her Abby all day long around the house. And I certainly don't see _her _introducing herself as 'Hey, my name is Abby, I'm my Daddy's joy'…that's so not funny, Luke," She explained her point way too pointedly and actually serious.

That took Lucas a little aback, and he honestly hadn't thought the name all that through as she apparently have in...less than five minutes really.

"What about the boy?" Peyton asked simply, and had to fight back hard a chuckle at how his eyes were a little too wide. "You didn't think in a name for the bug? Come on, Luke," She said rather playfully, patting his chest, and teasing him in that very way he supposedly didn't like her teasing him like.

Yet, deep inside he kind of enjoy it. They both knew that much.

At her question anyway, Lucas had to think a little over it. It wasn't as if he hadn't search for names for their boy-bug, he had; he just hadn't find _'The One'._

After actually thinking about it, he was starting to wonder if it would have even matter. Abby seemed like the one for him –_not really, but he was actually fond of its meaning–_ and Peyton had dismissed it already without second thoughts.

He loved that about her though. She didn't keep things for herself anymore; any grudges, or hard feelings, resentments, or…fears dealt alone. She now share them with him whether he'd like it or not, and that...that was more than enough reason for him to kiss her again, and this time around, without letting go of her until the moment he simply _had _to.

"Allan maybe," Lucas spoke softly at last, and at that moment, she wasn't smiling smugly at his words, she was smiling alone.

"I could live with that," Peyton told him honestly before pecking his lips one more time. Far too fast but she honestly just wanted to do that. "But," She called after a good moment sounding rather soft. Honestly for Lucas it felt as if she didn't want him to hear her, and maybe she didn't want that, after all she had said _'But_'

"Just say it," Lucas fixed it for her, and flashed in her direction his best grin as if for a little bit more of reassurance. It was okay if she didn't like that name too. What actually mattered for him at that very moment, was the '_simple_' fact they were _talking_ about it.

Peyton waited a beat and a little bit more to reply. Her lips twisted, and she really couldn't not tell him what was in her mind at that moment. She really couldn't. "What's with the _'As'_?" She pointed out seriously, and with her eyes slightly narrowed. She didn't have anything against A names, she was kind of just curious.

And apparently, Lucas hadn't thought about that either, since along with the words coming out of her mouth, his eyes steadily fell into a squint. "I'm not sure," He told her sincerely, yet, rather thoughtfully.

"Then you should probably start thinking about it," Peyton retorted all too smugly, propping her elbows on his chest so that she was properly meeting his eyes. "Do you really want to do that to them? What if at school, you know? What if in the morning roll call…I mean, if their names happen to begin with As, then they'll be the first ones to be call, and what if we got a crazy morning and both are late, and then they get a ticket, and…what if they didn't do their homework either? If they have…I dunno,_ Z_ names, then they'll at least have time to make…" She paused her rambling far too thoughtfully before a smirk graced her face. "_Well, _they'll have time to make or _copy_ their homework," She corrected with a chuckle. "While the teacher calls all the other bunch of kids with less fortunate initials," She noted without laughing and that was scaring Lucas a little.

Not really, but that was anyway what he was trying to sell with his face at that moment.

She really had one heck of an imagination he was just beginning to discover.

Maybe it was the topic, and the fact that she cared enough about their bugs to even consider all those –_crazy_– little things she was talking about right now.

"First of all," Lucas began speaking all too cautiously. "Why wouldn't they do their homework?" He cried playfully, and at _that_, she laughed.

Of course, that had been the one part of Peyton's rambling he had pick up. They were _their_ bugs after all, actual parts of Lucas would go in them, he was sure there was no way in hell they didn't do their schoolwork with his genes.

Not with his. They'll probably be messy, thanks to Peyton of course, but they'll be responsible anyhow, and that was in the two of them.

Lucas actually was sure of that.

"Because homework's boring," Peyton replied far too flippantly. She flashed a grin when he pouted, and then she just leaned in kissing him yet again.

She wasn't sure why, but she simply was loving that goofy pout that day.

"And we gotta feel for them, you know?" She added, and chuckled when Lucas let out one of his own.

He still sobered all too fast, and she simply knew something she wouldn't like was coming. "It still doesn't work that way, and you should know that," Lucas noted before she could say another word. Her face remained puzzled though, and it was only natural she wanted a bit more of explanation. "Those lists are made with the kids' _last names_ remember? Our bugs are doomed to get an 'S' name one way or the other…I don't think they have much options really," He said cracking a grin Peyton couldn't match.

She stayed quiet for another moment. It was as though she was just putting two and two together. She didn't like it though. She really had hoped they could help their bugs a bit while picking their names. "I don't care," She called fairly childish after a moment. Her head started shaking, and Lucas started laughing softly at her.

She didn't like that either.

Actually, that was a lie, she kind of did like it, she just didn't want to admit all that often when _he _was right, and _she_ was wrong.

"I like _Z_ names a whole lot better anyway," She added pouting and this time around, it was Lucas who couldn't help but kiss her pout.

"Then _Z_ names we'll find," Lucas sang all too playfully against her lips. She let out a good bunch of quiet giggles, and Lucas didn't have a problem to match them.

He loved that sound.

"But they'd better be cute," Peyton warned still against his lips before she started chuckling again.

It felt nice to feel free enough, good enough, and just peaceful enough to finally be able to talk about that other little thing that had changed the '_plan'_ of their lives completely.

If well it was true she hadn't ever envisioned herself as the '_mama-bear'_, all super protective over their bugs, she couldn't help but feel a bit like that at that moment.

She was one-hundred-percent sure of quite a few things that night; she loved him. She loved Lucas just as much as she loved JJ, and the two bugs she hadn't met yet. She just did, and that was the truth.

She knew she'd do anything, _anything _for those people she loved. And maybe in those very seconds she stopped worrying about becoming a cliché; the 2.5 kids, the perfect husband, the perfect big house they had already spotted. She didn't care about that all anymore, she actually only cared about being there. Being there for her _oh-so_ perfect husband, and her _oh-so_ perfect bugs.

All of them, blood related or not.

That couldn't matter to her.

Not at all.

And in all honesty, she knew it couldn't really exist a place she'd rather be other than with them.

That was by all means, the truth of the matter and she was simply glad it was. At last, all that that once was lost had finally been found for good.

Any other way just wouldn't fit, and she couldn't be sure of that at that moment.

* * *

**AN**** : **I'm actually having a little trouble juggling this story and "Always on Your Side" at the same time…I'm not sure why, but anyway I promise I'm gonna try to keep the updates of this story coming too, and more often. This story's chapters are long, so I hope that makes up for the wait hehe!

Anyways, so this was chapter _eighteen_. I hope you'd like it, and if you did and want another update soon, let me know what you thought! Hehe! I'm kidding. I just hope you'd like it. I am glad they are family now, too. Though is not official yet, and we are actually getting a chapter of the day it'll become official. I'm borrowing a little bit of "Life Unexpected" to write that chapter, so hopefully it'd be up soon!

Thanks so much for reading!

**PS :** Oh, and yeah, they are twins! **HA!** I honestly had wanted to give them two bugs ever since _"Far Away"_ so I hope you're okay with that! Some of you even guessed earlier on, so GO YOU! ***lol***


	19. Here's To Future Days

**Author's Note :**Okay, so the moment I began getting a few _"Update reminders"_ little PMs, is the moment I began feeling guilty and as a mean 'writer'. I know what it is not to know what's happening next in a story you like so I'm sorry but hey! here's a new chapter at last!

Anyways I was in fact kind of 'holding back' posting this chapter …the thing is, this story somehow hits a little too close to home (Not this chapter, but from next one and on) so that hadn't been too easy to write (Who knew? I actually thought writing stuff you could "relate" to was easier than the rest stuff I write, but oh well…it isn't!) Anyhow I ain't spoiling anything to you other than…Hmm…Actually I ain't spoiling, period! lol I'm not completely sure about this chapter, but I still hope you like it.

Somehow when you are writing more than one story at the same time, you (well, not _all _of you, but at least me lol) tend to "borrow" little things from that other story (i.e. characters like Julian in this chapter) and write little heart-to-hearts with them hehehe! I hope you're okay with that! **Enjoy! ;)**

**Here's To Future Days**

* * *

"China doll,"

That was pretty much all he had sang before sitting by the porch swing, where Peyton had been sitting for the last half an hour or so.

She hadn't done too much to keep on with the conversation; she had barely looked up at his eyes, and nodded her head.

It were only two words, yet that was the very way she could describe herself that day.

They wouldn't let her do anything. _Anything._ And it wasn't only JJ and Lucas that were hovering over her at every free second they got, but everybody else too. Even Haley, even when she really didn't have the right to do so since not two weeks ago they all had learned how Peyton's very own bugs were getting a new cousin bug close their ages to have a pretty good bunch of play-dates as JJ had _so_ rightly put it. Haley should actually been treated the very way Peyton was treated, yet she wasn't. She was helping somewhere else while Peyton simply looked from the porch how everybody unpack their furniture, and go in and out their brand new house every so often.

The porch really wasn't that bad, the view, and the spring weather made it all a bit more beautiful, yet not being able to do anything by herself, was maybe getting a little too much to her.

Well, that had been until the moment Julian sat beside her. Then she had still stay in silence, but it was a different kind of silence, he wanted to tell her something, and Peyton knew that much.

"Just say it," She said with a chuckle she simply couldn't help.

Julian actually matched it, but for a few more seconds his eyes stayed in the front.

"I-I was just thinking the other day," He noted at last, and at his words, Peyton's right eyebrow shoot up, and she had to stifled yet another chuckle.

"About what?" She asked a bit too curiously. "About _us? _Kinky," She said finally giving in to laughter, when he turned to look at her with his jaw all too dropped. "What? Don't look at me like that! It's not as if you're a prude, and we _both_ know that," She pointed out firmly raising both her eyebrows this time.

Julian's eyes rolled slightly, but he also simply had to match her chuckling. If well it was true it had been a long time, that didn't mean either of them had forgotten history quite yet. "About us, yes, but it wasn't like that!" He corrected when both their eyes were already locked. Peyton's lips pursed as if she wanted to say something back, and she did, she still chose to bit it back and simply waited for him to say whatever it was that he had been dying to say. "I was just…You know I once thought of a ring," He noted maybe a little more quietly that he should have, but that still didn't stop Peyton from hearing his words, and for her own jaw to drop slightly now.

Her eyes widened a bit too, and for a few seconds she just stared into his eyes. "You mean a ring, ring?" She asked back, and unconsciously her eyes traveled down to her left hand, and the two rings in her ring finger. When she looked back up at his eyes, he was simply nodding his head slightly with his own eyes firmly fixed down on her hand as well. "Really?" She asked without really thinking before she began shaking her head. "I mean, why?" She tried asking again. "We…I mean, we…"

"I loved you," Julian interrupted saying the simplest and logiest of answers. His eyes slowly lifted up meeting hers, and when he did so, he could only shrug a little bit his shoulders. "I knew I loved you, and at the time that seemed enough," He explained, and taking Peyton aback, his voice was uncharacteristically small. "And it wasn't as if the two of us together were _too_ bad," He noted letting out a chuckle Peyton matched nodding her head.

She still couldn't help but been far too surprised at his words. She honestly hadn't seen that one coming. "We weren't," She admitted seriously once both their chuckles had died. "But I never thought abo–"

"I know you didn't," Julian interrupted her knowingly once again. "At least not with me," He said yet again sounding way too confident before his eyes traveled to Lucas walking into the house with a good bunch of boxes, and Jamie and JJ following close behind him giggling at something he had just told them.

Lucas winked a bit in Peyton's direction before disappearing through the door, and she really couldn't stop herself from smile.

Julian was right; it hurt a little to admit it, not precisely because of her, but because of him. But at the end of the day, his words couldn't have been truer. She never really thought in marrying _him_, because deep inside in her heart she never gave up to the idea of '_Someday_' marrying Lucas Scott.

"I–I don't know where you're…" Peyton began again but trailed off looking down at the floor for a few seconds. "You know I loved you," She said instead of continuing her prior question.

Maybe she did know where he was coming.

"But you and I…" She began adding but when Julian lifted up his face and their eyes met, she simply smiled and let him keep going.

"You did, and I did too, but we were never '_happily ever after'_ material, were we?" He asked, and shaking goofily her head Peyton agreed his statement.

"That doesn't mean I don't care for you," Peyton promised, changing her motion, and now nodding her head firmly. "I do, I still do, and you know that. I probably always will," She said actually sincerely, and she knew Julian believed in her.

"Ditto," He said back rather simply anyway, and nodding his head as well as Peyton kept doing. "But…that still wasn't my point Sawyer," He called after a beat, and yet again, Peyton's jaw dropped.

He honestly had the best of ways to ruin the moment for her.

She was opening her heart to him for Heaven's sake!

"You are kind of an ass," She stated looking all so firmly into his eyes, and widening her own terribly as she spoke.

Whatever the case was, not a few seconds passed by before she was already smiling again.

That grin in his face honestly didn't get old.

Not even after all those years!

Peyton was just about to speak again, tell him that if that wasn't his point, then what it was. But before she could, she was fairly taken aback, and this time around, her jaw not only dropped, it fell full speed to the floor. "I..." She said vainly shifting her eyes up to his.

"It's not for you dork," Julian called almost laughing before she said whatever she was attempting to say. He pulled back the ring all too quickly before Peyton could even take a good glance at the diamond, and before she knew it, he was yet again smirking in her direction. "My point was that when we were together I never bought it, I just..._thought_ I would," He explained at last, and even though Peyton was more or less understanding where the heck he was coming now, her mouth however stayed quite opened as he spoke.

Maybe a minute or two passed by before she finally snapped out of whatever daze she'd fallen in. In any case, instead of replying, or gushing over how very beautiful the diamond ring was –_because it was_– she instead chose to smack his arm _not _too softly. "You're proposing?_!_? Not two days ago wasn't she freaking out because you said '_I love you'_–"

"She said it back," Julian chimed in, trying to sound as serious as he could. "And it's been over a week," He clarified, but Peyton's features didn't soften one bit at his words anyway.

"Not the point," Peyton continued, and _her_ voice was firm. He was just trying all too hard not to laugh at her at that moment, and she honestly knew that much. "I'm not saying there's a _right _time settled before the guy gets down in one knee, but ...It's been barely four months, and I honestly don't think what you two have been doing is exactly '_dating_'..." She trailed off shaking her head, yet she did finger-quote her statement in the air.

Maybe she was overreacting a little more than just a bit, but who could blame her? If she was overreacting, it was because Julian actually seemed serious when he pulled the ring out of his jacket.

And seriously? Who honestly carries around –_quite_– diamond ring in his jacket in the middle of a moving?

What if Brooke saw it before she had to? What if he lost it? What if the kids got it?

In her eyes, he honestly felt far too crazy.

"Don't look at me like that!" Peyton cried when his eyes were firmly fixed on her face, and not a word came out of his mouth for what felt forever to her. "I'm not crazy! She's my best friend!" She called yet again smacking his arm.

Her voice was rather pitched though, and because of that single little thing, Julian couldn't stop smirking. Why was it such a big deal? He hadn't even proposed _yet_.

He took a deep breath, yet the smile –_grin, really_– in his face didn't disappear for one second. "I did get a ring for Brooke," He stated simply, yet firmly, and really, _really_ convincing.

He hadn't say a big speech, or had start talking to Peyton about what Brooke would say, or if he should do it or not, he said he had bought the ring and his tone alone told Peyton the boy was darn sure about his decision.

He genuinely was determined to marry her perky-brunette best friend.

"Can I see it again?" Peyton asked all too sheepishly, grinning coyly in his direction.

Even though it had felt as if she never would, at last her features softened, and she had finally, _finally_ understand what his real point was.

That was certainly Brooke, and Brooke only.

Julian handed her over the ring quite cautiously and Peyton took a good look at it for a few seconds before her eyes simply shifted up, and her head start moving steadily up and down.

She was even smiling a little!

"My threat stands though," Peyton warned before he could start beaming after her _'approval'._ "You break her heart–"

"You'll break my face," Julian filled in all too smugly taking back his ring –actually Brooke's, but his for the time being. "Got it Feisty," He smirked, and Peyton _so_ had to smack him one more time.

She still kept smiling, and even though she rolled her eyes before doing so, both her arms wrapped tightly around his neck for a good moment.

She rested her head on his shoulder, and his arms traveled all the way to her back. He was still smirking though; honestly he just couldn't help himself.

It wasn't as if he needed approbation from Peyton, that wasn't it, but that didn't mean he wasn't glad she had stopped the drama, and was finally doing what he knew she'd do all along.

Well, that...until she gasped. Quite loudly actually.

"You okay?" Julian asked sincerely confused as he slowly pushed away from her.

Peyton's eyes were down, yet a smile was tugging at the corners of her lips. That kind of meant she was okay.

At least, that was what Julian chose to believe for the minute or so that took her to reply his question.

"Rib," She called softly at last, and had to chuckle at Julian's overly baffled look. "Bug," She added simply again shifting her eyes down for a second before letting out yet another chuckle when realization hit him.

"Which?" Julian asked way too rapidly, and the boyish way in which he asked the question was all too priceless.

Maybe now it was_ she_ who was jumping steps. Actually, she certainly was, not five minutes ago she wasn't sure if she wanted him to propose to Brooke, now she was actually thinking how much of a good '_Daddy_' he'd be one day for his own bugs together with the brunette.

She still had no idea how to respond to his question.

"I don't know!" She cried back simply with a chuckle, and her shoulders shrugging. "It's not as if I can actually _see _them in there, you know? I just can...feel them, but..."

"You do know which one was, don't you?" Julian chimed in knowingly –_better yet, smugly_– when Peyton's voice trailed off.

She chuckled, and without hesitation, Julian matched it.

He knew her.

Not all the time that had passed really mattered.

He still did.

He still knew her.

"The girl," Peyton confessed sheepishly at last. "At least I think so," She added, and time again; the two of them began chuckling. "She...she's..."

"My guess is she's just like _you_," Julian interrupted nodding his head decisively. "Stubbo–"

"Hey!" Peyton cried indignantly before he could finish saying whatever he was about to say. "She just moves around more than my boy does," She said pouting only slightly, and in only mere seconds, her voice changed back to rather soft.

Julian wanted to tease her, he did, more than anything else really, but that coy smile on her face just couldn't let him.

Maybe he shouldn't say it, maybe he shouldn't even think about it, but she did look darn adorable when she said _my boy_. It made him proud for some reason, but maybe that was okay too.

Friends could feel proud of friends too, right?

He thought so anyway.

"You wanna feel them?" Peyton offered after a moment of silence, and upon realizing Julian definitely wasn't one to break it.

"The..." He trailed off, and she laughing grabbed his hand.

"Here's she I...I think," Peyton said already with Julian's –_big_– hand resting against the right side of her tummy. "That's the bug that's messing with my ribs anyway," She added laughing, and so did he.

Naturally really.

"And here," Peyton continued moving again his hand, and that time around he actually felt the _'Bug'_ kicking against his palm. "Is the buggy-boy," She said laughing once again when Julian had already done it. "He's not all that feisty, but he does kick a lot, too," She promised before the two of them gave in to laughter one more time.

Maybe he should have been helping unloading the bunch of boxes left to be unload, but in any way, she was glad he was there with her instead.

Maybe they could actually be friends in spite of their history.

_Real_ friends at that.

* * *

"Now, look at you," Lucas said to Peyton all too simply, yet all too sweetly at the same time.

As of a few minutes ago,_ Peyton's_ boy had been tucking _her_ girl in. And she had actually thought it all was rather cute since their makeshift bedroom turned out to be a mattress and a camping tent in the middle of their very new living room.

The girl however, thought it'd be fun if she just fell asleep long before her bedtime on the floor close to the fireplace where the three of them were just 'resting a little' before actually setting up a bedroom upstairs to spend the night.

Lucas had wanted, and _really_ wanted to go back to their now former home to spend just that last night. He had said how they would all be a whole lot more comfortable there since not half their stuff had been moved yet. He had then made a mistake though; he had said – or actually, it had slipped to him to say how not just him and JJ would be more comfortable sleeping at home on their beds, but _especially _Peyton.

There he'd messed up a little more than just a little bit.

She'd hated all day long being treated like a doll; so at the end of the day, she had just turned him down decisively. In all honesty, she just wanted to stay, and began making..._memories_ in the new house already.

And of course, JJ had backed her up. She had been far too sleepy when she '_asked'_ Lucas if they could just stay and eat a few marshmallows before dinner and at that '_request'_, he had caved in.

How couldn't he, right?

In the end, he still had made sure both Peyton and JJ –_and of course, his bugs as well_– were as comfortable as it was possible for him to fix.

And all in all, it really didn't matter that sleeping on the floor was precisely the way they were welcoming their new home.

It was_ theirs_ anyway, and that was all that mattered.

Peyton had still been pouting the moment Lucas walked back into the living room with yet another blanket to put over JJ's teeny frame.

She was looking at her laptop, and when he came in, she had actually ducked a bit her head. It had been as if she really had tried for him not to see her pout.

She had failed _oh-so_ miserably that it was a little too funny for Lucas not to laugh.

"When I went upstairs you were all right," Lucas continued noting upon his wife's silence. "And now you're pouting, what got into you?" He asked moving closer to her at last and laughing when the moment he reached her and tried to hold her in his arms, she growled pushing away from him.

In any case, only a few seconds later, she was matching his laughter and moving as closer to him as she could. "Not pouting," She insisted with her lips pursed and looking as firmly as she could at Lucas. After a beat, she turned her laptop around so that Lucas could see what she'd been seeing, and understand what really had got her pouting.

And in all honesty, that had been a little shocking for her, too; she was after all pouting over internet advertisement, but...she really couldn't help it.

"I…I _hate_ SUVs," She admitted all too quietly before he could begin making fun of her. "And I just…I don't want to have to drive one, that's so–…"

"S_o_ soccer-mom," Lucas agreed just the second before his lips met hers.

Unable to do otherwise, Peyton started giggling against his lips the very moment his touched hers.

She kept it quiet though. By the fireplace, there was still the sleeping little girl who very, _very _enthusiastic had promised Peyton she would help her get ready the bugs' nursery _first _thing in the morning.

Little did she know though,_ her_ bedroom came first, but looking as excited as she did when she _'offered'_ her help, Peyton didn't have the heart to turn her down.

The girl would also be excited the upcoming morning when she started seeing all the new things she –well, she _and_ Brooke, bought for her new room. Lucas had helped a bit, but since all of it was a surprise for the girl, he was the one in charge of keep her busy while the other girls shopped her brand new room.

In any way, that had been earlier that evening, now Peyton had just stumbled across the very worst advertisement about how unsafe her comet was.

But...it really wasn't, they would just have to...make a little extra room there for the bugs.

She just really didn't want to give it up.

"It's not right to drive those big monsters kind of cars when we can still drive ours, right?" Peyton asked after a moment when her snickering had died, and she'd begin acting quite frantic again. She looked quite expectantly at Lucas. As if with her stare on him she was hoping for a bit of understanding. However, before he could say his mind, she was talking –_arguing really_– again. "Those things should take a whole lot more of gas, and what about the environment, and the whole green-house and global warming crap, I bet those monsters contaminate a heck of a lot more! And besides, who is there to say big's better! I…I don't need to overcompensate anything thank you very much. I'm just fine with my little normal sized car, I…"

Before she could continue saying all that she wanted to say, Lucas chose to instead kiss her rambling. It wasn't as if he didn't love every little thing she was saying at that moment. He kind of did, so maybe he had shushed her out of love.

That could _so_ well be an option.

"They say big's safer, big's roomier, you know?" Lucas mumbled all too lovingly against her lips when they broke the kiss after a nice moment. She was still pouting and he could see that very clear, because of which, kissing her again was just the right thing to do before she started rambling again.

"I'm not getting one," Now it was Peyton's time to mumble her thought once the kiss was broke one more time. Her forehead was resting against his, and she was barely seeing down at those goofy sparkling blue eyes of his she couldn't help but love. "They are only three," She said all too certainly, all too _smugly,_ yet the moment the last word finished coming out of her mouth, she pushed away from Lucas far too thoughtfully.

For some reason "_Three"_ and "_Only"_ didn't go well in the same sentence.

Peyton still settled shaking her head, and pretending three wasn't really that big of a number. So they would be a family of five, what was the problem of that? Isn't that what many hope to have? Well, she got it; she was unintentionally fitting the stereotype. One thing she wasn't willing to fit though; that was certainly buying one of those big monsters.

She knew she'd need a new car, she did, _they _needed it, but why it had to be one that took over the whole street? It really didn't make sense in her mind, so she was still firm. "I'm not driving an SUV and neither are you," She added without really thinking but actually meaning it.

She hadn't intentionally wanted to sound too bossy, yet she kind of loved sounding that way. She had literally being bossed around all day long; it was only fair she get to be bossy now that it was just she and Lucas at last, right?

"We'd find a roomy enough car for the bugs and JJ without tearing down our brand new driveway with one of those, kay?" Softening her voice at last, Peyton smiled sweetly at Lucas and just waited patiently for him to say whatever he wanted to say after she was done telling him her mind.

"Okay," He said back all too sweetly before leaning her back in the mattress, and kissing one more time her lips.

Just kissing, nothing more, but those fifteen minutes or so that passed by were enough to make them both forget just about everything else that was happening and changing in their lives.

From new houses... and new cars, and new bugs, and new girls, to simply being the two of them and what it felt to have each other's lips in one another's for the time being.

Air had become an issue since they actually weren't teenagers in the backseat of her car anymore, but actually, soon-to-be parents with one of the bugs sleeping just mere inches away from them.

It was all a bit too surreal, yet that was their life, and none of them would trade it.

Lucas' arms wrapped around Peyton –_and his bugs_– the best way he could when she rested her body over his own. He was smiling. Smiling just to himself really. Even if Peyton wanted, she wouldn't be able to see it since her eyes were already closed, but he still was wearing the goofiest of smiles, and couldn't shake it away to save his life.

It felt far too dorky but he just couldn't help it.

"You do know we still have over three months to worry about what car we are gonna use, right?" Lucas asked into the air, but actually positive she was still awake.

It had been a long day, one in which a lot happened, and even though she was exhausted, because she was and Lucas knew that much albeit she in fact hadn't lifted a single box, he still also knew she was probably thinking now in all the little things that happened that day. From the moving guys getting late to their home, to having _everybody_ coming over helping them move. And of course, more likely than not, she was probably still thinking in the SUV drama she'd just created.

He knew her. It really was as simple as it sounded.

"Four," Peyton corrected pointedly. Slowly she shifted her head up a little so that she was meeting his eyes. "I don't buy all what doctors have to say," She said smirking just a little bit, before simply smiling sincerely. "Plus," She said shrugging one of her shoulders. "I kind of liked it when I thought they'd be born the day of my birthday," She admitted for actually the first time, and even though she said the words rather sheepishly, it was rather nice to let it out.

Lucas then simply smiled. Better yet, kept smiling matching that very same smile his wife was all so proudly wearing too. "I don't think you'd say that the day of your birthday when you'd be in a hospital room..."

"Say it," Peyton insisted fighting back a few too many chuckles when his voice faded. Her voice was daring, it really was, and he simply _had_ to say the words.

"Ugh," Lucas let out looking away from her eyes for a splint second before looking back down at her, and without aiming for it, sticking out his tongue in her direction.

There was his _boy_! But he still needed to answer, and Peyton let him know that much when she simply didn't move her eyes away from his.

Rolling his eyes Lucas began nodding his head. "Hurting, all right," He settled a bit too annoyed yet, tightening his hold on her.

That was honestly the hardest part for him the better part of time; the fact of _knowing_ she'd be hurting the moment their bugs happen to decide to get out of her tummy.

It wasn't precisely the kind of hurting he knew he should be worrying about it, yet he was and just couldn't help it.

"Maybe so," Peyton continued the conversation as if Lucas really hadn't given it too much importance to her latest question, though he so had. "But meeting the bugs the day of my birthday doesn't seem as a bad present," She said letting out a chuckle Lucas matched rather immediately.

"Beginning of the summer present doesn't sounds that bad though," Lucas noted only a moment later reminding her what they already knew really; bugs could be born in whichever of the many –_many_– due dates he and Peyton had been given through the appointments, but the fact that they'd be gifts anyway would never change.

He knew that much.

"True," Peyton agreed simply leaning up and kissing his lips softly before letting out an unexpected sigh. She closed her eyes _oh-so_ tightly, and began shaking her head strongly only a moment later.

She even gasped a bit; she honestly hadn't aim for that sigh!

"It's okay dork," Lucas settled for her before her eyes had even began to open. "I love you, too," He sang back even though she hadn't precisely said the words first, yet in a way she had, and he knew that.

Things could actually be that simple as long as Peyton was right there in his arms, and out of the corner of his eye, he could always catch a glimpse of that soon-to-be his daughter, little girl.

As long as he was sure of those two 'little' things, he'd be okay, the moment either changed; _then_ he would have to worry.

* * *

**AN : **So that was chapter nine-teen! Not too exciting a little transition-y but I kinda needed the fluff, so bear with me. Next chapter is already written…kind of anyhow, so I only need to re-read it/edit what it's there to re-edit, but it shouldn't take me that long to update again. I hope you've like this, and…Well, let's just say I really hope you've enjoy the fluff in this chapter; you never know when you'll lose it LOL! I'm only kidding!

This is my first post of 2011, so let's just hope it was a good one. I wish an awesome 2011 for all of you by the way! **;)**


	20. The Last Thing I Said Was

**Author's Note : **Hi! You wanna know something, I somehow actually liked how this chapter came out! I'm really hoping for you to agree! heehee ;) It's a bit *too* long, so you're warned, but I think it came out okay, so hopefully it won't be a big deal.

**Disclaimer :** Some of the Judge's words in this chapter came from epi 113 of "Life Unexpected" I honestly couldn't help myself, I have very little of a lawyer/speech kind of girl inside me, so I "borrowed" some lines from that episode. There are not my words, nothing is mine, so just so we're clear! (Those goes in italic for more clarification heehee! Oh, the first quote is in italics, but it's not from LUX though, that one I got it from a postcard once upon a time but still...that one is not mine either!)

Hope you like this and well, let me know what you think! **Enjoy! ;)**

**The Last Thing I Said Was...**

* * *

"_An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."_

It wasn't as if Peyton hadn't hope they'd get a nice judge. She actually had. She had hoped for one smiling little old man who would just see into JJ's little eyes, and grant their petition for adoption.

That hadn't precisely being the case; yet, the reality hadn't been that far away from her hopes anyway. They have gotten into the courtroom fifty minutes past eight. Their hearing was at nine sharp but they still had gotten outside city hall before their clocks had showed eight-thirty...Honestly, none of them wanting to be late.

It had been mostly a quiet morning. They did pretty much what they always did each morning. This time around however, the difference was that their plans for the day that day were life-changing plans.

Literally.

The girl would become their daughter officially. The judge would say what was in JJ's best interests, and as it had been said and said again, that was them. There was no doubt they'd gain custody of the girl, yet it never really stop being scary.

For none of them.

JJ might only be six-years-old, yet that girl wasn't one bit silly, and though it was true she didn't completely understand just how very important that meeting is, she did know it was a big deal.

She had seen that much in Lucas and Peyton's faces all week long.

She wasn't silly, and she had noticed that much.

Of course that morning –_although it began a little too early for a Sunday morning_– it had also been a bit too enjoyable for JJ since she got to rock the very best dress her soon-to-be _'Aunt Brooke' _made for her.

They were all dressed to the occasion. Sunday best fell short compared to all three outfits of the day. And it was even a little stupid, what would the clothes really matter when at the end of the day they would be parents? Officially?

For real and without the chance of backing out?

Of course that wasn't an option at all, it simply wasn't, but still…

Yet, in spite of the clothes, the nervousness, and everything that meant standing there in a rather empty courtroom waiting for the judge to appear, Lucas and she, maybe even JJ at some level too, knew just how that day was simply the beginning of the rest of their lives.

The girl would be theirs. Theirs and only_ theirs_ by the end of the day, and after long months of waiting, and confusion, and tears at times, she'd be their _daughter _at last.

They'd have a child by the end of the day. One of their own, and one they'd love and cherish for as long as they'd be able to do so.

They'd be _parents_ by the time night set in, and that fact, beat nervousness in the butt without one bit of hesitation.

Peyton knew that much, the very moment the judge walked in, and the three of them plus JJ's Social Worker stood before him.

He wasn't old, old. Yet, he wasn't all that young either. He seemed as if he'd seen a lot, and more that likely, he had. He'd looked at Peyton right in the eye before sitting on his chair, and for a reason she really couldn't explain, she liked that, and somehow knew things would go just the way they had to go.

For about fifteen minutes, only the lawyers talked and the judge saw the paperwork. JJ had been a little restless in that time though, and Peyton hadn't been one to miss it. The girl was right in between her and Lucas. She was leaned a bit more into Peyton's side though, but that was okay.

And in a way, Peyton thought she was the one that needed the closeness a bit more than JJ did. She needed having her by her side to be sure she wasn't going anywhere ever again.

Lucas' hand was still tucked into Peyton's and both their intertwined hands were resting upon JJ's lap.

The closeness was indeed needed for some reason, but maybe that was okay too. Maybe that was exactly what the judge needed to see.

When Janine stood up and motioned them to do so too, they three of them simply did so.

Lucas scooped the girl up into his arms, and Peyton was glad he did that too. She moved closer to his side, and took his hand into hers one more time. Janine started saying a few too many words they couldn't – or maybe didn't want to make all that many sense out of.

They just wanted for the judge to speak, to rule, and say the words they had been waiting all so badly to hear for what seemed like forever already.

She couldn't stop herself from squeezing Lucas' hand far too tightly when the words finally started coming out of his mouth.

Peyton wasn't exactly sure why she liked him. He wasn't even that good-looking or nice and pleasant to look at, yet…maybe it wasn't because of how he looked that she liked him...maybe it was because of what he said.

"_Today is a day to appreciate, one you will look back on and cherish. Your journey to get here hasn't been easy. The road has been long and winding...The path, hard to see at times, impossible, even. But now you stand here before me, ready to make an everlasting commitment...To yourselves and to each other. This is a day you'll celebrate. It's a day that's been a long time coming, years in the making maybe. Yet today is just the beginning. I've been doing this for a long time. I've seen a lot of heartache and disappointment because prayers are rarely answered, and usually, dreams remain dreams. But today your dream becomes a reality."_

There was then a good moment of silence. Just silence and all set of eyes fixed on the eyes of a judge who was only doing one of the things why he'd become a person of law ultimately; helping dreams come true somehow.

"On the twenty-first day of the fourth month, the great state of North Carolina finds that it is in the best interest of Jennifer Jae Cooper-_Scott_, to grant solo custody to Peyton and Lucas Scott. Jennifer, you are no longer a ward of the state. Congratulations to you all… you're a family."

Maybe one or two seconds of silence passed by before Peyton's nervous chuckle echoed throughout the big courtroom.

It could well be full with people at that moment. They could have brought along their friends, the rest of their family; all those people that of course are all so very important in their lives. Yet, they chose not to have them there anyway. They chose to become a family –_an "official" family that was_– before the judge and just the three of them.

They'd be celebration time with everybody else soon enough. Of course it would be, but for that morning however, they did need to keep it "simple"; being just by themselves at the courthouse.

It was already big they had just become that little girl's parents, there really was no need to make of it all a bigger deal than it already was by bringing along another good bunch of cherry, loudly people.

With having one of Lucas' arms wrapped around her waist and one of her own hands resting over the little back of that girl who was now _her _daughter it was as big as it could get.

It was much more than just enough.

Of that, Peyton was sure.

Then there were tighter hugs, smiles, and even a few tears. There were more smiles than tears though, and even so, the tears that were shed weren't sad tears at all.

The polar opposite really.

The judge left soon after, and maybe by that time he had also been smiling.

A few cameras' flashes were set off too, but not for one split second, Lucas let go of either one of _his _girls.

It honestly felt just right to finally been able to say that with absolutely accurateness.

They were his girls indeed.

It felt right to just hold them, to kiss the crown of their heads whenever he felt like it, to mumble "_I love yous"_ they probably didn't even hear but that felt quite awesome to say them nonetheless.

His head tilted down slightly after a moment when Peyton tried lifting up her own to find his lips.

Lucas just leaned down a bit more making it all easier for Peyton. Plus, she certainly rewarded him the very moment their lips met in that perfect kiss, and then the echoes of JJ's giggles traveled to his ears.

The moment his forehead rested against hers, and she sent up at him that sweet little smile, Lucas simply couldn't stop himself from mouthing that soft, wholeheartedly "I love you" before placing the girl back on his feet.

He set her anyway on top of the chairs so that she was a little higher and yet again, he was doing that way what Peyton wanted him to do without she even bothering to ask him.

It was still rather obvious how JJ had very little idea of what exactly had just happened. Lucas and Peyton were already her parents for all that she was concerned, now the whole riot didn't make much sense for her, yet, both Peyton and Lucas were smiling quite brightly, and just because of that, she was smiling just as brightly as well.

Both of them stood before her for a long while only looking into that little girl's sparkling green eyes. Peyton smiled up at Lucas and pecked his lips one more time, before moving closer to JJ, and pressed the fondest of kisses to that girl's forehead. The moment she pulled away after a good few seconds, she simply kept smiling when hers and JJ's eyes were locked. "You heard them kid, you're _ours_," She said simply, yet rather firmly, yet also carrying softness, and all kinds of endearment with her voice.

"You'll _always_ be." Peyton promised all too sincerely before Lucas pulled them both back into his arms, and yet again, JJ began chuckling.

She didn't know what it all meant, and she really didn't care; all that girl cared was how it _felt._

In all honesty, that was exactly _everything_ that mattered.

Not just for her, but for the three of them.

They were a family.

* * *

It really was okay. She couldn't understand just why the boy kept –_time and time again_– apologizing when Peyton had already told him it was all okay.

And it _really _was! It wasn't such a big deal. So he had to go to work? What was the big deal in that? It wasn't as if he hadn't gone before.

Well, sure, it was Sunday and they had just adopted –_the real thing_– a little girl only a couple of hours ago, but it wasn't as if he was going to be gone forever.

He would be back before Peyton –_or JJ...or the bugs_– could have actual time to miss him. She knew that much.

Why didn't he?

"You know Brooke will come over later," Peyton let out sounding far too smugly. He really was worrying too much! "She's surely not missing out the chance to congratulate us all, you know her," She kept insisting shrugging a little bit her shoulders. "Nate and Haley would probably stop by too anyway, so it really is okay, Luke. Just go, we'd be okay, I..." Before she could promise what she wanted to promise, Lucas let out a small chuckle at her words and leaned forward kissing all too sweetly her lips.

Effortlessly, Peyton matched his chuckling against his lips, but she still kept nodding her head as if wordlessly telling him they in fact were going to be just fine.

She believed so anyway, so she wasn't lying at all.

"You know I wouldn't go–"

"If you didn't _have_ to," Peyton filled in for Lucas before he could say the exact same thing that came out of her lips. "I get it,"

He loved her; that was the one thought running through his mind at that moment and for a reason he knew he couldn't explain, he simply didn't want to leave her alone today.

He had to go anyway, and even though he was glad Peyton was so darn understanding with him, he was still wishing and hoping he didn't have to go.

In the bright side of things, he had however, the satisfaction to know that once that Sunday was over, and post-production of his movie was finally wrapped up, none of it would be on his hands anymore. The movie would be out in maybe a month's time and there was nothing more he could do to make it...successful or anything such. He'd done his job, and he had put his heart there.

He had sacrificed hours, days at the time in order to fit the damned schedule, he had done all that for a little over seven months, so after that afternoon, the moment he reach home, all his energy was going to go solely to his family.

To the ones that were already there, and also to the two that had yet to come.

"I'd try to miss you," Peyton added all too teasingly, moving from the counter and standing right in front of Lucas. There was a _'Not'_ missing in that sentence, and they both knew that. "It'll be over soon," She said actually serious, pressing a soft kiss to his lips that soon after turned in something just a little bit more. His hands were quite fast finding its way down to her waist. He held her tightly, and pressed her close to him only slightly since his bugs were –_so to say_– coming in between the two.

She couldn't help but smile the moment their foreheads met. "I love you, you know that?" She said without really knowing why, but just feeling as though she _had_ to say it aloud. She couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips the moment Lucas smirked at her words.

He knew that.

Rolling playfully her eyes, she moved away from him, and walked down the hallway pouting a bit. "I'd take JJ to the studio in a while, we forgot there the things for her project, so if you call and..."

"And you two aren't here, then I'd worry anyway, that's just me, you know that," Lucas stopped her in her tracks, and chuckled the moment she chuckled too. She _did_ know him. "I'll try your cell-phone then, so take it," He all but ordered moving yet again to her spot, and dropping the sweetest of kisses to her lips. "You know I am sorry, right? I know today we should...you know, be together, and I..."

Peyton was fairly smart shushing him with her lips on his one more time. "I wanna see the movie too, remember?" She asked back chuckling the moment the kiss broke. "Don't be sorry, just go kick some butts, and be safe," Kissing one last time the_ side_ of his lips, she started walking her way up the stairs so that she could get JJ ready to go as well.

She honestly couldn't help the silly smirk she triumphantly was wearing as she walked away from him.

From time to time, tease him wasn't that bad of a thing. It made things a little bit..._funnier. _And honestly, they both knew that very well.

Even, if Lucas couldn't help but pout as he saw her goofily waving him goodbye in the air without even caring to look at him.

He shook his head, but couldn't help but smile as his eyes were still fixed on her.

The explanation was actually the simplest of things; he loved her.

One thing he was sure; he'd be _totally_ lost without her.

Before Peyton could made it completely into JJ's bedroom –_the one that by that day was already perfectly put together with ballerinas and all kind of little pink thingies everywhere_– she got to hear the front door closing, and Lucas' car pulling up from their driveway.

She couldn't help her smile either.

Moreover, when at entering the girl's bedroom, she found her still sound asleep by her bed.

That picture would never get old to Peyton. There had been too, far_ too_ many nights and even days when Peyton saw her sleep, and more often than not, what she saw wasn't the picture of a happy child as she was seeing at that moment. It had been the polar opposite more times than only one. Took Peyton a long time to know what it was actually like to see a child sleeping soundly... peacefully and with the corners of her lips slightly curl upwards every single time that her little head was ready for bed.

Peyton knew she wasn't her mother. Even though a part of her had already admitted she kind of was. She had been for a long time before that morning, and before the judge _'declared'_ them a family.

She had been that little girl's mom from the very moment she started caring for her not as a person would normally care for a child that isn't related to him or her, but as something _more_. As something that she simply knew would be in her life forever, and she couldn't let go of her to save her life.

She also knew she could never, not ever, replace JJ's mom. That would never change. The girl already had a mother from the very first moment Peyton knew her, and the fact that she wasn't in that world anymore didn't mean she had stopped being JJ's mother.

That would never change, and even if it were in Peyton's power, she would never make it change either.

In her power was to remind JJ how somewhere, far away or maybe not, maybe some place close she still have her first momma looking out for her the best way she could from wherever she happened to be.

Maybe she was being naïve, or a little too silly at believing that, but she honestly didn't care about that. Who was there to say to her that that wasn't truth?

Maybe it wasn't, but what if it was?

She was about to let out a chuckle to herself when JJ started making those funny little sounds only she could make when she was stirring.

Peyton didn't chuckle, but still let a smile tug at the corners of her lips.

She moved to the side of JJ's bed, and sat at the edge before the girl's eyes had opened up completely. Her hand found the small of her back, and at her touch, JJ let out a small chuckle that was somehow muffled by a yawn Peyton couldn't help but keep smiling at.

"We gotta go bunny," She told the girl in her sweetest tone, and chuckled at the way JJ _oh-so_ tightly closed back her eyes. "We haven't even begun your project, so..."

"Where's Luke?" JJ interrupted asking rather sleepily, yet reaching her point without further ado.

Peyton had to bit back a chuckle at the question. She honestly had. "You just missed him," She explained anyway helping her sit up on the end.

Took JJ at least a couple more minutes to regain focus of her surroundings but as soon as she did so, she simply smiled goofily at Peyton. "I'm sorry," She said giggling in the sweetest of ways, before moving on the bed so that she was closer to Peyton.

The blonde only smiled back at her and nodded a little bit her head. "I know what you meant," She said as she pulled the girl as closer to her side as she could. "We still gotta go ahead to the studio missy," She reminded her with a chuckle when JJ all too slowly started burrowing her head in the crook of Peyton's neck.

Letting out a long –_quite deep–_ breath, the girl looked up at Peyton's eyes. "I'm glad you're my Momma now," She said really casually, yet her voice was carrying that child-like innocence Peyton didn't have an option but to deeply believe her words.

In all honesty, she was more than glad she was her momma now, too.

Before Peyton could say the words aloud however, JJ was speaking softly again. "I think Momma would like you, too," She was smiling, and her head was moving up and down a little as she looked up certainly at Peyton.

In response, Peyton began nodding slowly her head. She stayed quiet though for a moment or two. A smile however, took less than a couple of seconds to found her lips. There were a lot of things she wanted to tell JJ at that moment; from a simple _"Thank you"_ to far more important and bigger things, as an _"I love you"_

She also wanted maybe to tell her just how very much it honestly meant she was saying those words. It wasn't as she actually had thought in what JJ mom would think of her or not, though she kind of had, but that really wasn't the point. The actual point was that JJ actually thought her mom would like her to be her little girl's mom too. What did JJ know, right? But maybe she did.

Peyton was finding quite a fuzzy warm feeling thinking she did so anyway. Whatever the case was, she still knew she'd do anything for that little girl cradled in her arms, so maybe that very fact would be enough for JJ's mom, too. "You think?" She asked anyway, looking down at JJ with her eyebrows rose.

The girl stifled a chuckle but she still managed to keep moving her head. "Yeah, I don't think she'd think you're boring," She noted and after a second she didn't exactly give in to laughter because of her own words, but kind of because of Peyton and the amount of tickles she started giving to the girl's tummy. "What?" JJ cried between a bunch of giggles when Peyton slowed down a little. "I said she _wouldn't_ think so," She pointed out but by that time, she honestly was enjoying a bit too much being tickled to genuinely been asking Peyton to stop.

She sort of wanted her to keep going because laughing wasn't really that bad of a thing.

The girl had learned that from Peyton, and that actually made them both feel rather proud for some reason.

Another few minutes passed by with the two of them simply tickling each other, and laughing at everything that was happening.

So what? Peyton was now the mom of a six-year-old. It really wasn't that big of a deal. It would maybe become a big deal in two or...hopefully two and half months when the bugs came along and it all will become more real. _Then _maybe_,_ it'd feel as a big deal.

As of now, as long as the bugs stayed in her belly and JJ was the only one she had to actually take care of -_so to say_- it wasn't _that_ big.

It was an understatement to say she was already enjoying it anyhow.

JJ may have not exactly call her momma that day, yet she kind of did, and that was enough reason to get Peyton smiling for the rest of the day, if not for the rest of the week even.

After many fits of chuckles, and a small snack before leaving, the two of them made it to Peyton's studio, and actually had to run a little to get to the door since somewhere along the way it had begun raining slightly.

JJ beat Peyton getting to the entrance, and to say the girl had laughed was yet another understatement. The rain wasn't even that bad, yet Peyton didn't want to get wet –_or go to the trunk to get the umbrella either_– so she had run; or at the very least, attempted to run. It wasn't as if she was big, big. She wasn't – _yet_. She'd have a few more months to actually get big, but even so, running was already not her strongest suit, and that evening that had become crystal clear, not only in her eyes; but especially in JJ's.

"I can actually ground you now, you know?" Peyton noted biting back more than one chuckle.

JJ run past her into her office, and smirked the moment she reached the older blonde's desk. "You won't," She stated all too smugly before walking round the desk, and sitting behind the desk on _Peyton's_ seat. "And if you do, it wouldn't be too bad, Luke told me," She said chuckling –_though rather correctly, Lucas had actually told her so_– before her eyes caught sight of her science project materials and of the little they had done already. "I think we are gonna get an A," She pointed out shifting her eyes back at Peyton who could only shake her head a little at her words.

That girl she was seeing at that moment was so different from the little girl she once met at the ER. She talked, and she loved to do so. She loved to laugh, and to tease, and to play, and to run just as every other child would.

Sometimes Peyton would even wonder what it would be of her life, of _both _their lives if she just hadn't made the same decisions she made once upon a time.

From the same decisions than made her leave her office late the day of the accident, to the day she asked Brooke to get JJ into her same room.

What if something had also happened to the girl in the crash?

What if Social Services had come and get her before Lucas and she could have done what they did for her?

A thousand scenarios would pass through her mind when she looked at JJ's little smile, and she couldn't help but think what exactly would be like if she couldn't see that smile she had gotten all so used to see.

She would be lying to herself if she said it didn't hurt just to think about that possibility.

She couldn't be happier that little girl was now her daughter. For some it may take some time to feel the kid they adopted their _actual_ kid, but for Peyton –_and actually maybe for Lucas too_– it had only taken a smile, and a hug from that –_now_– perky six-year-old to do the job.

Matching at last JJ's chuckle, Peyton nodded her head. "We _are_ gonna get an A," She agreed walking in the couch's direction and grabbing her soon-to-be finished rainforest diorama. "But I _can_ ground you for real," She argued, but not after a beat she was chuckling at her own statement.

Maybe a minute or two passed by and there was still only her laugh. JJ didn't say back anything, and Peyton was actually a bit surprised. In all honesty, the girl should have matched her chuckling. At least faintly. Yet she didn't. She stayed quiet, and just saw as Peyton carefully put her diorama on top of her desk. "Just say it bunny," She said as sweetly as she hadn't heard herself speak in years if not ever.

She couldn't help but smile at JJ and softened her whole features at the way she so uneasily twisted her lips. The girl stayed quiet for another moment though. She just held her stare on Peyton, before a teeny smile graced her lips at last, and she moved to the side of the studio where Peyton was.

"Do I have to call you mama?" JJ asked the moment she reached Peyton by the couch, and sat herself right next to the blonde.

To say the question had taken Peyton aback was certainly an understatement. The right words to say slipped out of her mind for a few seconds before she simply realized the answer wasn't that hard to say. It really wasn't hard at all. It was just the truth. "You don't _have_ to do anything that you don't want to," Peyton replied at last, and she sure as hell was hoping JJ could catch every bit of sincerity her voice was carrying.

In any case, she just wasn't sure if the face JJ began making at her words was because she caught it or because she didn't.

"You really don't buddy," Peyton continued anyhow upon JJ's silence. Before the girl could say anything –_just in case she actually wanted to say something_– Peyton pulled her small body to her side, and kissed all too strongly the top of her wet locks. "I love you, you know that, right?" She asked looking down at JJ, and the very moment her head started moving up and down, Peyton allowed a smile to tug at the corners of her lips. "That's right, because I do...You..." She began quite strongly, but trailed off smirking only a little bit. It wasn't as if she didn't think what she was talking with JJ at that moment wasn't serious. It was the total opposite really, but maybe her smirk and silly smile was because she was simply nervous for some reason.

She knew she shouldn't be. JJ was just six-years-old after all. There was really nothing to be nervous about, yet she kind of _really_ was.

After shaking her head slightly a couple times, Peyton fixed back her eyes down in JJ's. "You know how the Judge said this morning we are now a family?" She asked, and yet again, JJ nodded a bit her head. "We are, but...Do you remember that day, um...that morning I picked you up from school earlier and we went to the park just the two of us–"

"Yeah, I ate ice-cream and you ate yucky stuff," JJ chimed in, and for the first time in what felt forever for Peyton, she was really smiling, and even let out a small chuckle.

Peyton matched it –_naturally_. Honestly, she felt completely unable not to do so. "It wasn't yucky at all," She pointed out rather smugly. "But I'm glad you remember the day–"

"Why?" JJ interrupted one more time, and that actually was a good sign.

The moment JJ stop asking and interrupting and just stayed in silence with that goofy twist of her lips; _that _was the moment Peyton would begin to worry.

As long as she kept asking, and peeking out her head from under her own arms, Peyton would found herself just smiling goofily at how cute she always looked when she did so. It really was as simple as that.

"Because then maybe you remember what I told you that day, you know, about labels?" Peyton asked, and a chuckle had to be stifled at the way JJ widened her eyes.

She smiled though, and with that simply gesture, Peyton knew she in fact remembered. "Of course," The girl let out flashing her best grin in Peyton's direction. "About your records," She said shaking her head as though she honestly couldn't believe Peyton thought she could forget it.

"Yeah, about my records," Peyton agreed anyhow with a chuckle she simply couldn't keep inside. "You remember I told you that you were an awesome kid and that was it?" Both her eyebrows were raised as though in expectancy and the moment JJ's cheeks turned just a little bit more pink, Peyton smiled to herself, and nodded her head along with JJ's. "I told you you were awesome period,"

"Yeah," JJ agreed almost giggling, and still nodding her head shyly.

"And you are," Peyton insisted just in case the girl had happened to forgot it even though it was obvious she hadn't. "But now you're not _just_ an awesome kid," She called, and if what she was saying wasn't actually important, she'd probably be chuckling at how focus JJ seemed at what she was saying. "Now you are _my_ awesome kid," She stated with such seriousness that JJ's only choice was to trust in her.

And she actually should, Peyton wasn't saying anything that wasn't the truth.

"And that's not a label, that's just the way things are...now," She called before JJ could even smile at her words. It wasn't as if she didn't want to see the girl smiling, she did –_more than anything else really_– but this was important too. "Your mom would always, always be your mom, I told that too already," She said cracking a goofy smile.

Needlessly to say, JJ matched it, and her little head started moving once again. "At the hospital," She remembered, and now it was Peyton's turn to nod her head.

"At the hospital," The blonde echoed. "I wasn't lying, you know? Your mommy is always going to be your mom, and I don't want you to say things because some Judge say so, okay?" Peyton asked as softly as she could, and apparently, JJ genuinely agreed. Quite sheepishly, she was nodding her head, but just as sheepishly, she was smiling too. "I'm just...Well, yeah, I mean..." She stuttered without actually knowing why so after rolling her eyes and glare –_slightly, and way playfully_– in JJ's direction for '_making fun of her'_ Peyton managed to pull herself together once again. "I _am_ your mom now," She stated seriously taking JJ aback and actually herself a little too. She knew she wanted to say something like that; she just hadn't aimed for such straight to the point statement.

Then again, it was the truth.

"I am, but I am like...I don't know, kind of your _second _mom, okay?" She asked again, this time around softening her voice for some reason.

Sounding patronizing was honestly the very least she wanted.

Although she did want to chuckle, JJ managed to keep it inside for a little bit longer since Peyton seemed actually serious. "I think I like that," She said, and smiled when Peyton smiled first.

"You do, why?" She asked back simply because she wanted to hear what the girl had to say.

"Because then I'll be just like you," JJ explained but by the way Peyton's eyes widened, she probably needed to explain a bit more. "I have now _two_ mommas, just like _you _do," She said again before hugging all too tightly Peyton's frame – at the same time hugging the bugs, but that only made her gesture more important, right? JJ kind of loved them, too.

"I'm not going anywhere though," Peyton noted after moment. She hugged JJ just as tightly, and her statement was probably missed by the girl, but that was okay. She wasn't leaving her and that was what mattered. Not that she heard or not the promise, but the fact that Peyton was one to keep it...one way or the other.

"What about the buggies?" JJ asked after a good moment breaking the silence that had settled between her and Peyton.

Peyton smiled, but still couldn't keep inside the sigh that escaped her lips. In any case, with her eyebrows raised a bit –_and still with a soft smile on her lips_– she looked down at JJ's rather mischievous stare. "The bugs are _my_ awesome bugs too," She stated, and at her words, the two of them had to chuckle.

"Actually," Peyton called after a beat biting back her chuckles. "_Our _awesome bugs," She said acknowledging the facts. "We are a family, remember?" She called and couldn't help but laugh when realization hit the girl.

"Our bugs, then," JJ called anyway before matching Peyton's chuckling.

"–Hey, just a thunder," Peyton called all too suddenly when JJ literally jumped on her arms after a lightning strike rattled the windows. The girl looked up at her with her eyes rather wide, and the chuckles she had been letting out until that moment, disappearing completely. "You're okay," Peyton reassured her again upon her still frightened little face. "We are," She stated kissing the girl's temple, before pulling her to her side one more time.

A few more thunders echoed through the halls of her studio, and since JJ actually seemed scared, all that Peyton did was hold her as tightly as she could to her chest, and kiss the top of her head every so often.

"You know," She began talking fairly softly after yet another moment of silence. "You and the bugs, you three are kind of the same..." She trailed off smirking a bit when at her words JJ's head almost immediately lifted up meeting her eyes with nothing short of disbelief on her own face. "You are," Peyton insisted before the girl could retort anything. "Not only have they been growing in me for the past...six and a half months," She said unable to stop a small chuckle to escape her lips. JJ matched it, but not exactly because she understood what Peyton was saying, but because of the goofy way how she said so. "You have too," She said knowingly, and going back to serious as she stared into JJ's sparking green eyes. "Only that you haven't been growing here," She explained pointing out at her own tummy. JJ followed her forefinger, and smiled as it landed on the right side of her stomach where not only Peyton, but JJ and Lucas too, had spotted long-ago the rambunctious little-girly-bug. "But right here pretty girl," She said with all the seriousness of the world pointing at her very own heart.

JJ looked cautiously at Peyton's hand pressing softly, yet firmly at the same time her chest. She waited a beat, but then just looked up meeting Peyton's eyes. "You said I didn't have to call you anything I didn't want to," JJ said just as seriously, and all Peyton could do was nod her head. She'd said that after all. "But...What if I do want to," She said rather quietly, as if a part of her was actually hoping Peyton didn't hear her words.

Of course she failed though, and of course Peyton managed to hear her. "You're my awesome kid now and I'm _your_ Peyton, you can call me whatever you'd like sweet girl," She said as sincerely as she could possibly sound before kissing strongly JJ's forehead. "I'd be honored if you called me mama," She whispered against her skin, and smiled and scrunched her nose playfully when their eyes met. "I do love you bunny girl, but we still need to get home," She said chuckling, and_ so_ breaking the moment.

JJ chuckled anyway, and for those little seconds forgot the thunders and just sat back on the sofa as Peyton stood up with her –_attempt_– of serious face.

"We ain't getting an A if we don't finish that thingie so chop-chop kid, I'm driving us home, and we'd finish this, _hopefully_," She called widening her eyes a little too much. "Before Luke gets home, and we can surprise him," She said at last smiling.

JJ smiled along at first, but took her only seconds to start twisting her lips. "Why don't we wait till Luke gets us," She said quietly, and as Peyton grew to realize after a moment; she was being serious. "It's pretty bad out there," She pointed out looking only slightly in the window's direction and at the flashing sky for a second. "She told you he'd get us," She reminded her, and Peyton could almost swear she was pouting.

The blonde wanted to laugh; she actually did, but looking as darn adorable as JJ looked at that moment, she simply couldn't laugh at the girl. "It's just a storm," Peyton said as soothingly as she could, moving so that she was closer to JJ. She knelt down as best as she could in front of JJ, and locked eyes firmly with her. "_Just _a storm pretty girl, we'll call Luke when we get home. That way we'd be saving him the trouble to detour just because it's a little wet out there, deal?" She asked quite expectantly. She waited a beat, but when her legs couldn't take it anymore, stood up again, and settled scooping up the girl a little into her arms – _even,_ when she knew she shouldn't, but who could actually blame her, right? JJ was scared. _Her_ little girl was scared, and for better or for worse, Peyton was her momma now. Her job was to make it all alright for her, and that was exactly what she was doing at that moment as she hugged her. "We are gonna be okay, all right?" She asked looking down pointedly into JJ's –_slightly_– glistered eyes.

"We are bunny, is just a storm,"

* * *

**AN : **Not sure what to say tonight...Let me know your thoughts, and I guess you could guess one more time! *Puppy/innocent eyes lol*


	21. Complications of the Heart

**Complications of the Heart**

* * *

The better part of her body felt numb, her legs felt heavy as well as her arms did, but even so, the slight pressure over her chest, and the tickling that slowly traveled all the way up through her arm, caused her eyes to open slowly. Everything seemed blurry at first, only the shape of little fingers stroking her arms made sense in her eyes in that instant.

She stayed still for another moment though; closing her eyes again, and simply taking in everything that had happened in the last hours.

Slowly, yet surely, her right hand reached JJ's hair, and stroking it back a little was just the one thing Peyton felt as though she could do in return. It felt rather strange though; she knew she was moving her own arm, yet, it didn't feel as if it was hers at all. Instead, it felt as if it was someone else's, and Peyton was only borrowing it for the time being.

JJ didn't move at her touch for some moments either; she simply continued to stroke her arm, and Peyton could feel her breathing steadily against her own skin.

Silence settled between the two of them next, and for at least five more minutes until Peyton said the two words she was aching so badly to say aloud. "I'm sorry," She said simply, yet husky, and in the one tone of voice she could find in herself.

JJ didn't say anything back, but in any case, her head started shaking a little at Peyton's voice. Took her a few moments, but slowly and _very_ carefully she managed to sit up straight on the bed without intruding one bit with any of the wires that were hooked to Peyton's body.

"I thought you were gonna die," JJ said softly after she had make sure her own eyes were firmly fixed into Peyton's. "I'm glad you didn't," She added, and without any warning hers and even Peyton's lips too, started quivering slightly.

The girl closed her own eyes for a second before she moved closer to Peyton, and tenderly she wiped away a lone tear that had fell down to Peyton's cheek without she really noticing it. "They are very very little, and really pink," JJ said trying to sound as reassuringly as she could sound, without really knowing _'Why_'.

However, at her words, only more tears started forming behind Peyton's eyes, and in all honesty, there was really nothing she could do to make them stop. She closed her eyes again; taking JJ's little hand from her cheek, and into her own hands.

"Don't cry," JJ said almost pleadingly when a good bunch of Peyton's tears fell freely down from her eyes. "mm-mama don't cry,"

Peyton didn't say anything back right away; she simply shook her head in rapid jerks for a moment. She stayed with her eyes closed, and all JJ could do in that very moment was stare back at her without a clue of what to say or do.

When Peyton's eyes fluttered open at last, the first place she fixed them where in her now seemingly flat stomach. She swallowed hard the lump that in mere seconds formed in her throat. Taking a deep breath, she shifted her eyes back to JJ's, and at doing so, managed a small smile in her little girl's direction. "Did they let you see them?" She asked in a small voice fighting back more tears.

JJ nodded her head apprehensively at her question. "They never said I couldn't," She explained rather uneasily, but it still managed to make Peyton crack yet another sad smile.

"Luke was washing his hands while one nurse talked to him. I...I just came inside the room where they are now," JJ continued, not wanting for some reason for silence to settle again between she and Peyton. She might be little, but that didn't mean she didn't know just how bad everything that had happened was. "Do you want me to go call Luke? He told me that if I was _very _careful I could stay here with you, but that he still was going to be back in just a little while." She explained upon Peyton's silence. "I think he was worried you weren't going to wake up, too,"

"It's okay," Peyton said at last finding her words. She would be the greatest liar alive if she said she wasn't just dying to ask all and every question to that girl before her, but she couldn't do that. She couldn't do that to JJ. "I'll be okay here just with _you_ until he comes back, all right?" She said and not a word she'd said had been a lie. For some reason, she knew she simply would feel a hell of a lot better if only JJ was next to her.

'_When'_ that feeling had happened was something she really didn't know; she only knew it had, and being completely honest with herself, other than Lucas, Peyton wouldn't ask for anyone other than that little girl to be right beside her at that very moment.

Stretching out a little her arm, Peyton gestured JJ to come back into her arms, and at her motion, the girl didn't hesitate a bit before obliging. She did it carefully though, and Peyton wasn't one to missed it.

"They said she's a little littler than the boy is," JJ started speaking softly from Peyton's chest while she could only take some long breaths in order to keep herself from breaking down then and there. "They are both in these tall, weird, kinda beds. They don't have any covers though. They don't even have clothes, you know?" She said looking up a little at Peyton, who could only nod in return, biting slightly her bottom lip. "They just have diapers on, and you know? They have like little heart shaped stickers over their bodies; those are nice," She said offering Peyton a small smile. "They said both bugs have the same chance to be okay, but that they simply have to fight a little for it." JJ explained parroting _almost_ exactly what a nurse, and the doctor had told Lucas only a few minutes ago. "The nurse, she's _really_ tall," She said unable not to widen her eyes. "She told Luke that although the girl was a little sicker than the boy is, that doesn't mean she it not going to be okay. She said baby girls tend to be a lot more stronger than boys," She said with a small chuckle Peyton matched with a watery chuckle of her own.

"I think everything is gonna be okay," JJ finished reassuringly, looking up at Peyton's eyes for a split second before she buried her head back on her chest, and simply let her statement sink in.

There were a thousand things that were whirling around Peyton's mind at that moment; '_What ifs?_' were the ones that taunted her the most.

Again.

If only she hadn't been _so_ stubborn, and instead had only..._wait_. Wait until he'd come and get them, wait until it wasn't raining anymore, wait until someone else could've driven them home, wait just as she was supposed to do. But, she hadn't. She hadn't done it, and now not only_ she_ was paying the consequences but the ones she supposedly had to take care of the most.

If once upon a time she hadn't been sure about whose fault the accident had been, this time around she was one hundred percent sure it had been _hers._ She hadn't done what she was supposed to do and things had gone wrong because of _her_. Because she simply _had_ to do things _her_ way, and didn't care for what the others thought.

JJ was okay though, that was the one and only satisfaction Peyton had at that moment. That girl was resting upon herself without a scratch on herself. Shouldn't she feel relieved for that? She couldn't be sure, yet she knew she was. If something else had happened to that girl because of _her_...then she was sure there was no way in hell she would have been able to forgive herself.

"Thank you," Peyton said softly a moment later, stroking softly JJ's chubby cheek.

The little girl looked up at her with a small smile painted on her face. "Why?" She replied back just as softly when their eyes locked.

Peyton shook her head a little before shrugging her shoulders. "For happening," She explained simply, biting her bottom lip strongly when tears once again filled her eyes.

Just at that moment, before she could say anything else to JJ, or JJ back at her, the door slowly opened, and for some reason Peyton had to bow her head when Lucas stepped into the hospital room.

He didn't waste any time though, as soon as his own eyes caught sight of Peyton's _open_ ones, he walked as fast as his feet allowed him to walk towards the bed, and without second thoughts wrapped both his arms around her frame. JJ sat up at his presence, and simply watched with a little smile as he kissed her in all possible spots of her body.

She didn't say it that often, especially not to them, but for more reasons than one, she always felt like smiling when the two of them where in each other's arms.

"God, Peyton," Lucas mumbled against her forehead, as he dropped a long lingering kiss there. "You scared me _so_ much," He said feeling the salty taste of his own tears on his lips. He did no attempt to wipe them away though, but simply kissed the top of her head until he was sure enough she was actually there, and with her eyes wide open.

"I...I am…so sorry, Luke," Peyton merely cried looking up for the first time into his eyes with tears of her own in hers. "I am so sorry, I..."

"Shush," Lucas said simply, yet, strongly shaking his head. "Don't say that, just...Don't," He said looking firmly into her eyes, and trying as hell to keep his own emotions in cheek upon the tears that freely fell from her eyes as she looked back into his. "This wasn't your fault," He stated cupping her cheek with one of his hands before he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against hers. "It wasn't," He repeated even strongly after resting his forehead on hers. "I...You are okay and that's all that matters. You, and JJ, you two are okay, and the...the bugs will be okay too,"

"You don't know that," Peyton said back shaking her head, and pushing away from him only for Lucas to pull her back closer to his body. "They...I,"

"I _do_ know," Lucas cut her short firmly. "I do know. They are _you_ and they are me, and only because of that I know they are going to pull through, all right?"

She shook her head again at his words, but once he forced her to look up at his eyes, and she saw, front and center just how much he really believed what he was saying, she made herself stop crying, and instead nod her head.

"Good," Lucas said strongly matching her motion. "Good," He said once again before kissing her forehead one more time.

When Lucas wrapped once again his arms around her shoulders, and pulled her closer to his chest, Peyton felt JJ taking again the same position she had a few minutes before. Without thinking about it, Peyton simply reached her own arm out, and pulled her closer to her side and Lucas'.

It wasn't just the two of them that were going through the accident; it was all _three_ of them, JJ more than included. In that moment it didn't matter how they have come to be one, all that mattered was that they were in fact a family now, and as _that_, they were going to pull through everything that was happening.

Together.

* * *

"I tried to stop it, I did, but I just..."

"Hey," Lucas said shaking his head, as though really needing her to stop. "You don't have to do this," He told her uneasily, yet it only caused Peyton to shake her own head.

"I do," She said back almost pleading him to just let her tell him all what she didn't even understand herself yet. At Lucas' small nod, she tightened her hold on JJ for some reason, and simply continued explaining, "I just didn't see him. It wasn't as if I wasn't looking at the road, I was. She...JJ was already falling asleep so I wasn't even talking to her. I was just driving, and then...I don't know, all of a sudden when I was about to round up the corner was when that boy appeared and I just couldn't hit him, I...I couldn't do that, so I turned the other way, and...and then I just couldn't make the car stop," She said with a sigh before at last looking up and meeting Lucas' eyes. "I couldn't hit him,"

Lucas let out a sigh as well, and then could only nod his head. Twice in less than one year, he'd gotten the call that his wife had been in a car accident and in her way to the nearest hospital. Apparently, what people said sometimes, than not because you've gone through something once, means you won't in the future, was true. However, this time, it had felt ten times worse for Lucas. It wasn't just Peyton who had been in yet another car accident, but she, and his daughter, and his two unborn babies. Reaching the hospital and finding out she was in the OR already, where doctors were delivering his babies through an emergency c-section, had pretty much make his stomach dropped and in more than one way, made all that he'd once dread to come true.

They've told him then that JJ was okay, but that she was asking endlessly where Peyton was. It had been a no-brainer going then with the girl who needed him the most at that moment, but still he never, not for a split second, could stop worrying and fearing the worst for the other three.

They had then also told him that even though they had tried to stop her labor, nothing they've tried had actually worked, and for the babies', as well as for Peyton's sake, the smartest idea had been to deliver the babies. None of the doctors had said much else, only that they'd do everything in their power to keep them all alive.

That part was what got Lucas worrying out of his mind. The chance of actually lose them had been there.

He could've _actually_ lose them.

Yet, maybe fifteen minutes later, another doctor, a woman had walked back into the waiting room where he was. Lucas had been there with JJ, holding onto that girl as if she were his last hope. The doctor had still tell him that if he wanted to go inside the operation room now, he could do it.

For the very first time that evening, Lucas had felt hope at those words.

He had then just kissed the top of JJ's head strongly, and told her how he was going to make sure Peyton and the bugs were okay. She hadn't argue a bit, but only told him that she didn't want them to die.

Lucas had nodded his head at those words.

That had been the one thing he could do, so he just did it. He didn't want them to die either, and ultimately they didn't.

None of them did.

He hated to say it, but...at least not yet.

"I know you couldn't," Lucas replied at last, fairly quietly, yet looking firmly into Peyton's eyes. "You couldn't harm him, I know that you couldn't, and I...I...-"

"How are they?" Peyton asked with a sigh, finally asking the one question she'd been dying to ask, but simply hadn't had the nerve to ask quite yet.

Lucas let out a breath, and just closed his eyes for the slightest of seconds. "They are hanging in there," He told her simply managing a small smile. "The doctors said they are actually quite strong babies, and I _do_ believe them. You should have only hear how hard the two of them cried when they took them out–"

"They cried?" Peyton asked in such small voice Lucas found it even hard to believe it was she who was talking back at him.

He however shook his head, and hurried to reply. He hadn't done the one thing he should have known she needed: good news. "They certainly did. Both of them, and _hard_," He reassured her with a nod. "They are little, but they are whole and although they are helping them to breathe right now, they are doing it, and the doctors said that with only the right treatment and their share of fight, they are going to be just fine if we give them the time."

"The baby girl was crying too when I came in," JJ added softly, realizing Peyton actually smiled when she heard the babies had cried. She didn't understand '_why'_ really; they were crying after all, but she still hoped it would help. "And pretty loud too," She said with a smile when Peyton shifted her eyes looking into her own.

"Oh, because she actually went all sneaky into the NICU, I didn't even notice she was there until she told me just how very cute they were," Lucas said with a small chuckle, winking in JJ's direction before shifting his eyes back at Peyton. "They said you could go see them as soon as you're strong enough to do so…" He said, and it was actually impressive how fast it took for his voice to go back to somber. "You just had surgery, but they said you're doing all right. That…it had been just, I don't know, the shock of it all that got you into labor, they couldn't have done anything differently," He explained feeling rather uneasily, and Peyton simply nodded.

"I-I wanna see them," Peyton stated sounding rather feebly, but still as firmly as she had sound that evening. There honestly was no questions as to whether she wanted to see them or not. She honestly_ needed_ to.

"Then we'll go see them," Lucas replied back simply, getting up from the bed already.

Between asking her doctor for permission for the three of them to come down, and bring back up a nurse and a wheelchair to get Peyton down, it only took him around twenty-five minutes to get all set up.

Peyton had said very little as they headed downstairs to the NICU where their babies were. She'd only hold quite strongly onto JJ's hand, and took deep breaths every so often. Lucas knew all this hadn't been her fault at all, but for some reason, he also knew he needed to remind to her that much every time that just like know, he felt as though she was forgetting this all had been an accident, and in truth, no one's fault.

As they reached the door, and all three of them could actually see already both isolettes at the end of the dim room, Lucas stopped in his tracks, and knelt down at Peyton's eye level. "Ready?" He asked simply, although he honestly was trying to prepare her for what she was about to see.

Peyton took yet another shaky breath looking further into the room before locking eyes with him. "No," She said sincerely with a sigh before nodding her head, and smiling sadly in his direction. "Let's go."

Her voice was quiet, yet it did the job, and told Lucas everything he needed to hear from her; she was scared, more than ever before he had felt her being. She didn't want to see them, yet at the same time, she knew she should, she knew she_ wanted_ but it was still hard to face that knowledge.

Lucas knew the feeling maybe a little too well, but then again, in that same moment he also knew a whole lot that she still didn't. Those in there were _their_ bugs. The two little somethings they have made together and have somewhat see grow for all that time. It hadn't been enough, sure, but they were both here anyhow, and that was the part Peyton should see.

The part in which both bugs are alive and fighting like hell to stay that way.

That was the part she _should_ see, and in Lucas' power was that she saw that much sooner rather than later.

When they reached the isolettes, a nurse was already standing by one of them. She was behind it, and if Peyton hadn't seen her feet underneath as Lucas wheeled her in, she probably wouldn't even know there was another person in the room.

She was fighting the need to look up, and that certainly wasn't lost on anyone. Not even in JJ.

The girl stayed the whole time by Peyton's side; her little hand was perfectly tucked into the blonde's one, but the moment they reached the bugs, the girl couldn't help but let go of Peyton's hand and walked her way closer to one of the bugs.

She chuckled slightly, and really quietly, yet at that sound, Peyton's head slowly made its way up. "She's sucking at her thumb," JJ pointed out a little too loudly, and letting yet another chuckle escape her lips.

The baby wasn't exactly sucking at her thumb, yet that teeny hand of hers was tightly made into a fist and all too close to her mouth underneath the endless wires she was hooked up at.

Peyton swallowed hard, yet didn't – actually _couldn't_, allow any of her tears to fall.

They needed her strong. She honestly owe them that much.

Took her only few seconds before her eyes traveled to the second isolette; he seemed a little shyer, both his hands were also up, yet his were covering his eyes and all his face mainly. Peyton's hand traveled inside the plastic yet warm thingy that kept her teeny bug inside. She took one of his fragile arms into her hands, and brought it down so that it was resting against his tummy instead that against his face. There were no words spoken, just a simple, slight touch that made it all feel as real as it could be in that moment.

She was a mom.

She actually was one, and even though from the very moment she woke up that morning she knew she'd be one officially by the end of the day, she honestly never, not in a million years envisioned that scenario.

Peyton then let her eyes fell close for more than a moment; her fingers still lingered inside the isolette, and even though a part of her told her she needed to let go, she couldn't.

She felt guilty, not only because they were there –_outside herself_– before they should have, but also because she was touching her boy, and not her girl.

How was she supposed to be enough for the two of them?

Actually, she couldn't even let her mind go there. She needed to be enough, not only for those two tiny ones, but for JJ and Lucas, too.

They all needed her, and if something Peyton had ever before vowed to herself, it sure as hell hadn't been as strongly vowed as how in that moment she swore to herself not to let them down again.

Not ever again.

And not either of them.

There was then a "_ma'am"_ and an _"It's okay"_ that echoed in the air after a moment. Peyton listened muffled sounds of their voices, yet those few little words did make sense in her mind.

The nurse was talking to her, and about _her_ bugs and about the fact that she honestly just couldn't take her hand out of the isolatte.

After a beat, Lucas kissed the side of her head, and Peyton could genuinely feel the moist of his tears_. That,_ without a shadow of a doubt, broke her heart just a little bit more.

Her free hand traveled to his cheek before he pulled away, and turning around enough, she pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

That one wasn't a kiss out of love or want or lust; that kiss was out of _need_, out of shame, and as the quietest yet desperate of apologies.

He whispered another "It's okay," into her ear as he finally drew away from her face.

Peyton nodded, and out of the corner of her eye she saw JJ in her tiptoes next to the tall isolette; Peyton saw how JJ's little hands were attempting to go into her other baby girl's isolatte just like she was doing so with the boy.

In that moment, Peyton somehow realized how she _was_ going to be able to be there for all of them and be enough; she wasn't alone.

She really wasn't.

They'd all be there for the bugs and for each other, and one way or another; it ought to be enough.

It _had_ to be.

* * *

**...**

**AN : **This story IS in fact _back_, I'm just not sure how much of good news that is. How many of you wanna kill me right now? In my defense, I'm with Luke; just because it happened once doesn't mean it will or will not happen again...? So oh well...I hope you get why I did it. With this one we reached Chapter21; we have only a few more to go.

Let me know what you think!** ;)**


	22. Lifeline

**Author's Note : **Hey! Update Time(again lol)! Today I was an A+ example on procrastinating...There was a lot of school work yet to be done for this week, plus life going on, but! I still managed to edit (hopefully sucessfully) this chapter. I wasn't quite in my comfort zone while writing it, but I still hope you enjoy reading it.

Hm, enough of me tonight, Grammy's night - oughta watch the re-run, talk about procrastinating! heehee! **Enjoy! :)**

**Lifeline**

* * *

It wasn't as if time wasn't passing by; it was. It certainly was. It just didn't pass at a real steady pace. Some days would feel like forever. Everything would happen, but at the end of the day she'd be standing beside the same pair of isolettes with her bugs still inside there just...hanging on.

It wasn't easy, it never got easier seeing them there, and as Peyton had concluded weeks ago; it never would.

They were so little, and inoffensive. They have never harm anyone, or done anything wrong besides kicking each other's heads every so often while they were still inside her. Yet, now, a plastic crib was everything they knew of the world.

Forty days had passed by since the day they were somewhat forced to be born. And what actually hurt, was that so far, that roomy, mainly empty sterile NICU room was everything they knew.

By that day, they should have been able to know places, to be in their own room, to play with each other and their toys, to properly know their family, their _sister_. To be able to get actual cuddles.

To be _actually _held.

Over a month of her bugs' lives had passed by in which Peyton could actually count the times she had been 'allowed' to hold each one of them.

Eleven days after they were born she and Lucas were able to hold them for the first time.

Peyton had only held the girl that time, and it probably was for just ten minutes, probably less if she were one to actually be honest with herself. But still…they held them that day and that had been pretty much everything that mattered then.

They were both off the awful vent now and seemingly improving by the minute.

That was what the nurses told Peyton and Lucas anyhow, and honestly, believing their words –_whether they were completely accurate or not_– was by far the best option they got.

The problem however, was the moment something happened that somehow prove the nurses wrong. They were just trying to be optimistic, and supportive, and carriers of hope the best way they could, but...who was there to tell Lucas or Peyton that the bugs were going to be okay the moment one of them simply decided to forget how to breathe? What happened when the whole lot of loudly alarms would set off and in more ways than one, would remind Peyton –_and also Lucas and whoever else that happened to be in the NICU when it happened_– that both babies were there for the long haul and things could certainly go wrong at any time.

When it was about the bugs nothing was certain at any point, and that was yet another of the things that hurt the most.

They were twenty-eight weeks preemie twins with grey-like eyes and with the most visitors who couldn't really go inside and see them.

Everybody had come and everybody had gone after offering the little or much they could offer. Only immediate family was allowed into the so-called private NICU room the bugs had been in from the start. It was supposed to help '_bonding_', and in many ways, most days that was a good thing, yet that room wasn't home, and the fact that the better part of those bugs' family couldn't go in there was partly the reason.

JJ was a little over six and half years old, she was officially the bugs' sister, and a _very_ insisting little girl. Of course, she was one of the few people that were allowed into the room.

But beside her, and Lucas and Peyton, and the babies' grandparents when they could, no one else could go into that room.

Sometimes it felt as though the bugs weren't the only ones living in an isolette.

Either way, the room, the visitors, that was most of the time what mattered less. The two little ones were what mattered. To that day, they should have still been inside Peyton. They shouldn't be out yet. Their due-date was over twenty-one days away still, and that thought alone killed Peyton a little bit more every time she thought about it.

They were twin bugs that shouldn't be here yet.

But then again, soon enough, after all the alarms had set off, the bugs would also then _remember_ how to breathe again, and along with them so would Peyton...and Lucas, and even JJ than had been there for a couple of those spells.

If well it was true they shouldn't be outside her tummy quite yet, Peyton still wouldn't trade for the world any of the moments when she'd seen their tiny chests raising and falling steadily as they breathe.

They were alive, and as long as they stayed that way and JJ kept filling their room with come-home-soon letters and signs, Peyton had reason enough to wake up every day.

To pull through each one of those days until all of them could make it home.

When Peyton left for home that night, she went away not happy about leaving her bugs behind, but at least _"knowing"_ they were _"okay"_

She should have remembered though, how in that NICU, that word had little if no meaning whatsoever.

To top it all, the hospital didn't call them when it happened. They didn't call _her_.

The next day was Saturday, so even JJ was toting along with Peyton into the bugs' every day room that next day.

There were no alarms ringing in her ears when she walked in that Saturday morning, there was just silence and just that, plus the fact that her boy's isolette wasn't beside her sister's told Peyton immediately things had gone wrong somehow.

She stood still by the doorway for more than a moment. Her hand holding on maybe a little too tightly to JJ's, but she still couldn't help herself.

A couple of nurses where there, but they didn't acknowledge Peyton or JJ's presence until Lucas walked his way into the room as well. The moment he stood behind Peyton and the girl, he unlike Peyton, didn't hesitate one bit to ask what the hell had happened.

A ton of Doctor's lingo was spoken next, but neither Peyton, nor Lucas could actually breathe again until the other side of the room was pointed out with one little bug still struggling to breathe in there.

Apparently, this time around he had needed the _"little"_ extra help to remember just how to do that _"simple"_ task he was still learning how to master: breathe.

He was back on the vent, or in Vapotherm, or something like that the nurse told them. All what they said really didn't matter, all that matter was that the boy was alone and struggling to stay alive all by himself.

"He shouldn't be alone,"

That one was the one thought running through Peyton's mind, and the one thought she managed to say aloud. "He shouldn't be alone," She repeated, and this time around, even though it was just a murmur under her breath; Lucas did manage to listen to her. The nurses did too, and especially, JJ also listened to her words. Peyton was shaking her head, and even though she was talking about the boy isolated at the other side of the room, her eyes were firmly fixed on the floor.

She honestly couldn't look at him and just deal with the impotence she was feeling at that moment. She was his mom for God's sake, but she couldn't; in reality, she couldn't do anything for him.

He was there, alone, and struggling to just stay alive and there was nothing for her to do other than...watch.

And not even that, since she couldn't find the nerve to doing so in herself.

The moment she felt Lucas' hand over her shoulder her head started shaking even harder, and it was in that very same moment that she realized she was crying. She cursed, she did, and she didn't care, she cursed, and stepped out of the room saying the one thing she couldn't not say.

"He shouldn't be alone"

She didn't look back, and just closed the door behind her. She heard JJ going after her, but she then also heard Lucas grabbing her before she could go out of the room as well.

Peyton needed a moment away, and even though in that moment that was the less thing she wanted to think about, she was thankful Lucas knew her well enough to know that much.

She didn't go further though. If well it was true she needed a moment, she needed to be away if only for a few minutes, that still didn't mean she could stay away from them.

From either one of them.

Her head rested against the cold wall just outside the NICU; people passed by, she could feel them, she could feel their stares on her, she could hear their whispering, yet she couldn't care a single bit about any of them.

Her tears kept falling, and although selfish, she knew she needed Lucas by her side at that moment. Actually, she needed _them_. She needed Lucas' arms strongly wrapped around her frame at that moment, just the very same way she knew she needed JJ's tiny arms wrapped around her neck the best way that little girl could.

But then...then she would think in the bugs, and how they hadn't yet get any of those hugs, and the chance they never would was still there.

They still couldn't make it, and that day Peyton learned the hard way that much.

That was the very least she wanted to face, yet seeing her baby-boy back into that machine that pretty much breathed for him had been far too hard to bear.

"What if they die?" She asked nearly crying the moment Lucas stepped outside the room as well, and wordlessly pulled her into his arms. His head was shaking; she could feel that much, yet that didn't seem to comfort her one tiny bit. Hers started shaking then too. "What if they die?" She asked again, this time a whole lot more strongly, and lifting her head enough from his chest so that their eyes were meeting. "What if they die and it's all my fault?" She said with tears in her eyes yet meaning every single question she was asking at that moment.

What if that happened?

"What if_ I_ killed them?" She asked and in that moment Lucas' head wasn't shaking anymore, he was looking at her with sorrow in his eyes, but with anger too. He really looked angry, and in all honesty, Peyton had been taken aback at that. She was about to speak again when Lucas turned her back to her, and his features hardened in a way Peyton hadn't seen him before.

"Wh–"

"Shut up," Lucas merely ordered turning around, and fixing his eyes more than firmly on hers.

Peyton was sure never before he had actually said those words to her. And had he said them, it more than likely had been playfully, and not nearly as serious as he told them to her at that moment. Her eyes narrowed and she wanted to say something back even though her tears couldn't stop falling, and her voice would probably break anyhow.

In any case, not a whole minute passed by before Lucas' voice snapped her out of her thoughts one more time. "Shut up, you need to stop talking," He said strongly again, and this time around, he chose to move closer to the spot she was at. "I don't need you doing this; I don't need you saying those things, I _need_ you to shut up and _be_ their mom," He said firmly even though his own voice was attempting to crack. "You didn't kill them; _you_ brought them here so just..." Lucas didn't have the chance to finish his statement before Peyton lunged forward and burrowed her face into his shoulder gripping onto him as tightly as she could.

"_You_ brought them here," Lucas reassured her time and time again as he just let her shed her tears on him. He wasn't bother, and part of him was even relieved she was at last letting everything she was feeling out in the open.

Out in the open for _him_ to soothe.

He held her, he only held her tightly to his chest, and stroked her back a bit kissing her head every so often. He would have kept doing that if only a perky-little girl's chuckle hadn't force him to open his eyes.

Peyton's opened as well, and for a reason she honestly couldn't explain, the moment she turned around slightly, and her eyes caught JJ –_and her goofy smile_– she simply felt as though she _should_ stop crying…and so she did.

"He won't be alone,"

The girl stated, and she didn't even bother to wait for them to finish sinking in her words before she was scurrying back into the room.

Both Lucas and Peyton followed after her, without really knowing why, or just what it meant what she said, but still blindingly trusting that smile on her face.

The moment they walked back into the room, Peyton walked in before Lucas, and the first thing her eyes caught sight of, was her very own baby-boy being unplugged from his endless wires.

She should have been worried, she knew she should, yet, she wasn't. Not the slightest bits.

"I told you," JJ sang before she ran back in Peyton's direction and without any warning jumped up into the blonde's arms. Peyton scooped her up and just kissed the side of her head all too strongly as they all saw their boy being carefully placed right next to his sister in her isolette.

"I'm not gonna lie," One of the doctors began. She hadn't been there when all of them first stepped into the room, or maybe she had been, and Peyton had just missed it, she couldn't know, yet at that moment her eyes were fixed on that doctor and her baby only. "He's in pretty bad shape, he is, but..." The doctor let her sentence trailed off as she finished settling properly the teeny baby. "But this should help him," She said as nicest as a doctor could sound, and at last meeting Peyton's eyes. She smiled in the blonde's direction, and then shrugged her shoulders.

Maybe that wasn't what a doctor; a medicine practitioner should have done, yet for some reason made Peyton feel in that instant as though she wasn't alone in that fight. That doctor wanted just as much for both bugs to be okay and go home, yet, just like Peyton, there was just so much she could do, and putting them together into the same isolette had been her best guess as to what could actually help them, and at the same time, help those tiny thingies' family too.

In a way that shrug let Peyton know that the doctor was hoping just as much as they were for the bugs to be just _fine_.

"I bet she missed him," JJ pretty much chirped shifting in Peyton's arms so that her eyes were steadily fixed into Peyton's. The girl was smiling, and in all honesty, smiling back was everything Peyton could do at that moment.

She couldn't know why, she couldn't explain it at all, but she was amazed anyhow in how fast the feeling inside her changed from feeling herself completely broken to almost happy in mere seconds.

Maybe it was JJ's smile, maybe it was the fact that her two bugs were together again at last.

Maybe it was the fact that her boy's sats started increasing, and also began to even to his sister's almost as soon as both babies' foreheads met.

Maybe it was also the fact that even the doctor and nurses were smiling at the sight of the two of them together, and no alarms were setting off or anything like that.

"I think they missed each other too," Peyton agreed at last nuzzling JJ's neck sweetly, and sighing when Lucas moved closer to the two of them, and wrapped his arms all too protectively around her waist. He kissed the side of her head fondly, and she just closed her eyes at his touch.

She felt guilty, she did, but deep inside she knew he had been right, and that she also needed to hear him saying every single word he'd said.

"We brought them here," Peyton corrected him anyway. She turned her head slightly, only enough to catch sight of his eyes on hers. "_We _did it, and I…" Looking down for a moment, she let her sentence trail off. Not ten whole seconds passed by however, before a goofy smile was already tugging at the corners of her lips. "I promise I'd shut up," She said smiling even though she genuinely was meaning the words she was saying.

Not wanting to miss yet another beat, Lucas leaned his head down slowly, and in the softest way, pressed his lips against hers. "I love you, and we…" Now it was his turn to let his sentence trailing off for a moment. He didn't look down though; he kept his eyes steadily fixed on Peyton's. "We're pulling through this …all of us, you just got to understand that…" Smiling he paused one more time. His eyes, and Peyton's, and even JJ's too traveled almost out of instinct to the small isolette.

"That we can't and should not do it alone,"

* * *

She stood by the doorway for the longest of times. She didn't say a word; she just smiled to herself, and chose to ignore the fact that at least four nurses where still there in her bugs' room.

In a way, Peyton had gotten used to that; not exactly to _"ignore"_ them, but just to be okay with the idea that for her babies' sakes, it was for the better they stayed in the room. So even though by the morning of her forty-one day in the NICU she hadn't completely grow to like the idea, by that same day's afternoon, she simply didn't find in herself the might to mind.

They were there taking care of her bugs so in all honesty, Peyton couldn't complain about that.

In fact, they cared, and cuddled both her babies when she and Lucas and JJ weren't around, so for more reasons than one, she owed them much more than she could express.

So before walking further into the room, for the first time, Peyton offered a soft smile and a nod in the nurses' directions. She did so, and felt okay with that too. More so, after she reached her bugs and saw front and center the two of them still cuddled together.

Peyton couldn't help but bit playfully on her bottom lip at those tiny pair of grey-blue eyes looking up at her all too curiously. "Look at you Zoë," She said simply; yet carrying with her voice all the hope she hadn't let herself show until that day for some reason. "They said you're getting good with your hands bug, but you still gotta take it easy, okay?" She said with a small smile letting her little girl tuck her very own –_big_– finger into her teeny hand. "You need to eat and you can't do that if you keep pulling out your feeding tube baby," She said shaking her head slowly, yet far too impressed at how focused Zoë seemed as she spoke to her. It felt a bit surreal, yet not in a bad way. Peyton wasn't precisely scolding the girl, though she kind of was even if she would never –_ever_– admit she was.

In her mind, she was just telling her baby girl to be good, and just a little bit less feisty as the nurses already tend to describe her _little_ personality.

Literally.

"You know the doctors said you two need to get at least up to five pounds before we get to go home?" Nodding her head slightly she let that silly smile to tug at the corners of her lips again that day. "Yeah, you're already at three…barely, but still Zoë-bug," She said caressing her little girl's soft cheek, before stroking as well her boy's cheek and forehead. "You're a bit behind Zach, but I bet you'd get there soon enough too buddy-boy,"

Maybe the fact that for the very first time she was being able to be there for the _two_ of them at the_ same_ time was what made that little moment much more bigger and important as it seemingly was. Her right hand was on Zach's left cheek, and her left one was on Zoë's right cheek. Zoë's eyes were still wide opened while Zach's were still closed, but he seemed peaceful, and content, and that was more than reason enough to keep Peyton smiling probably for much more time that just that afternoon.

She stayed quiet for a good moment just staring at the two of them, and at the way Zoë's hand reached Peyton's own hand over the girl's own cheek. She didn't move her hand away for one second; she just kept smiling as the minutes started passing by.

The nurses were still there, rumbling quietly and from time to time checking the bugs' monitors to make sure everything was still running smoothly.

Luckily, it kind of was. No alarms had set off in the course of the whole afternoon, and even though Peyton knew setbacks could happen at any time, she also was sort of sure the two of them would pull through just nicely.

"Luke's taking JJ for something to eat before Brooke gets her, she...she's staying with our girl tonight and we're staying with the two of you. She really wanted to stay as well, but...I don't know... maybe once you two get a bit stronger they'd let JJ stay here for a little while longer too. I bet she won't be the only one that would like that," Smiling a bit more she gave them both one last stroke to their tiny bodies before taking her hands out of the isolette.

"A few days before you two were born we went shopping for these," Peyton began explaining to the bugs even though her back was to them as she took out of her handbag a small box. "We didn't know your names yet that day so it weren't engraved, but today I just thought I should..." She turned around facing again the isolette and moved closer to it. She had already asked permission, and there was in fact anything wrong to put the bugs their tiny bracelets.

They would be a little loose for a while, but hopefully the two of them would grow into them sooner rather than later.

The day they bought them JJ had told Peyton how even though they were boy and girl bugs, she was still going to need something to tell them apart so they'd decided with the small pieces of jewelry.

They were rather simple really; a thin silver bracelet with both their initials engraved on the front, and their whole names on the back.

"_Zach Alan Scott"_ in one bracelet and _"Zoë Ann Scott"_ in the second.

There really hadn't been much discussion about the names once they were born, the names just happened, and for some reason they also happened to fit.

Lucas had gotten his _"A"_ names –_though Abby definitely didn't pass the screening_– and Peyton had as well gotten her _"Z"_ names. It really hadn't been too hard choosing their names; they were forced to choose sooner than they expected once, but somehow were the bugs themselves who made the name-choosing a whole of a lot simpler.

"This one is for you Zoë-bug," Peyton said all too sweetly, fastening the girl's bracelet to her ankle – Peyton was well aware that if she put it on her wrist right away, the girl wouldn't hesitate to put it into her mouth. That was just the way she was. Or at the very least, the way she was beginning to be.

Smiling when Zoë's eyes traveled down to her leg, Peyton shifted her eyes so that she was now focused on her baby-boy. "And this one is for you Zachy," She said just as sweetly, even though the boy was still fast asleep. Which was actually a good thing; he had had a few rough days so having a little rest next to his sister was maybe exactly what he needed.

That didn't mean however, that Peyton would be one not to give him his present. He was his bug just as much as Zoë was, so of course he got to have his tiny bracelet on his ankle as well. In his case, Peyton didn't put it there precisely because she was fearing he would try to eat it, but simply because even though both bracelets had been sterilized, that didn't mean little mucky thingies couldn't seep through without them knowing, so having in mind the _"Better safe than sorry" _say, she put his bracelet too in his ankle.

That part of his leg was surely further away from his mouth and nose than his hands any day.

"You put them on," Lucas noted –_almost singing actually_– and Peyton couldn't help but smile.

Better yet, _kept_ smiling.

She didn't turn around, nor took her hands out or eyes off of the isolette. She smiled, and just waited until Lucas reached her, and wrapped both his arms all too tightly around her waist. "And she's awake," He noted again the moment his eyes caught sight at last of his bugs.

Peyton wordlessly nodded her head. She waited a beat, but then just shifted in his arms so that she was seeing right into his eyes. "I _need_ them to be okay," She admitted in a small voice, yet she was sure he was listening to every bit of sincerity she was also offering with her voice. "That's all I know, and that is all I wanna know, so you..."

"I'll keep remind it to you," Lucas promised before she could continue talking. He couldn't help but smirk the moment her lips curled into the sheepish of smiles as she finally looked up into his eyes. "I need them to be okay just as much as you do, and..." He let his sentence trail off for a few seconds as he dropped the softest of kisses to her lips. "And they'll be," He promised one more time, and she smiled. "Time and again I'd say the words until they are not just words, but facts, because chances are Peyton Sawyer..." He said sounding as sure of his words as he hadn't felt in what seemed to be forever. "That they are gonna be _fine_...And they will be; they are your kids remember? They got those stubborn genes of yours," He said as seriously as he could before Peyton huffed, and even the two nurses in the room let out the quietest of chuckles. Lucas then just shrugged his shoulders looking at Peyton rolling her eyes, and then at his left at the couple of nurses. "She is," He insisted nodding his head goofily before Peyton smacked his chest.

When Lucas looked down back at her eyes, she still had that '_annoyed_' look on her face, yet she was also smiling, and not even ten seconds later she moved forward and wrapped her own arms tightly all around his waist again. "I love you," She promised firmly, and for a moment, all Lucas could do was nod his head.

"I know," He said at last as he kissed strongly the top of her head. "I love you, too."

* * *

**AN : **Babies' Names! I'm sorry I couldn't come out with a smarter one for Zoë's middle name, but I in fact did want the bugs to have the same initials, and well, in the end it kind of fit...Their first names are random names I simply just love for twins (those run in my family, so...lol) and both their middle names go after Anna and Keith, so I hope you'd like them.

BTW, I did have twin nieces in the NICU once upon a time, and really, not nice, but at the same time it can be really comforting after a couple of months when you actually realize they are going to pull through and be okay, so yeah...I hope you have like this chapter. Please let me know what you think! :)


	23. Yours, Mine and Ours

**Author's Note : **Rain outside makes a bored-_me_, which is...NOT fun, yet update is now done and...done! Chapter's kinda jumpy, I hope you get the main idea, and hopefully even like it! Thanks so much for the ones who read/reviewed etc the last couple of chapters (all the others too, but so to say lol) since having people coming back to the story even after a semi-hiatus was nice and well, got me writing! It'll all be over soon, so I truly, truly hope you enjoy it! **:)**

**Yours, Mine and Ours**

* * *

Exactly nine days before the day of her birthday, Peyton had gotten what she would call from that day on, a long over-due _early_ birthday present. It had all began scary; Lucas falling asleep with Zoë in his arms and her _oh-so_ mischievous little girl pulling out from her nose that very cannula that supposedly, was what kept her breathing and alive. But apparently, she had had different plans, and somehow, she along with her brother, had decided nine days ago, that it was time to go home at last.

Nine days ago, the doctor had explained them all what she needed so both bugs could be free to go home; she had talked about endless recommendations or better yet, _warnings_. She had even called JJ a little "carrier of germs." Peyton hadn't liked the comment one single bit, and instead of agreeing with the doctor, she'd corrected her pointedly. There was no six-year-old more careful around those babies than JJ, because of what; the older blonde had made sure to let that clear to the doctor.

Then again, soon after, the doctor had continued talking about the bugs. She had talked to them all about a test; one Zoë and Zach were supposed to take in their remarkably big car seats, and one that have them pass, would get them one-step closer to home.

It seemingly was an easy test; both babies had to stay for ninety whole minutes properly sat on their brand new car-seats, and keep all their sats leveled for as long as the test lasted. If they did it, they would actually be given _"green-light"_ to go home for once and for all.

That day, nine days ago, had been the first time the doctor had said the words. Of course she had given far too many recommendations, but that still didn't take away the fact that for the very first time in almost three months, the doctor had said the words both Peyton and Lucas – and JJ, had been waiting to hear all so badly.

She had said indeed that the bugs could go home.

Once the test began today for the two babies, it didn't take long for Zach to go back to sleep; it had already been set, between him and Zoë, he was the _"mellow"_ and _"sleepyhead"_ from the two of them. During the test, he seemed to be less than worried about been sitting for the first time on that seat. He was awake for a few minutes looking around, but not ten minutes later he couldn't help but yawn, and shortly after went back to sleep…_with_ his oxygen over 90 as the doctor had told them was the ideal for the bugs.

On the other hand, Zoë was the one that didn't seem all that comfortable. She didn't sleep, but fussed a bit until completely settled herself into that chair. Surprisingly enough, it were her sats the ones that dropped to 76 not twenty minutes after the test began. She kept them that way though, and the doctor had said that was a good thing.

Once the ninety minutes passed by, none of them failed the test per se –_Zach passed it with flying colors apparently_– yet they were set to go home with oxygen at least for a few hours a day, preferably at night only, the same way as with a monitor – _just in case_.

They'd have doctor appointments at least every other day, but that honestly wasn't a bad thing.

It wasn't a bad thing at all.

By the end of her birthday day, they could _all_ _actually_ go home. How could that possibly be a bad thing?

"Careful,"

It wasn't surprising, yet Peyton couldn't help but look over at the girl with her eyebrows knitted. JJ had genuinely just told her to be careful with her bug? Of course Peyton was being careful, but it still didn't harm to know that JJ cared enough for the little one to even remind Peyton to be careful as she dressed her and got her ready to go home at last. "I am being careful," Peyton replied pointedly, yet flashing her best grin in JJ's direction the moment the girl ducked her head smiling sheepishly.

"You did good Zoë," JJ cooed after a moment, leaning down and dropping the sweetest of kisses to Zoë's forehead. "She did good, right?" She asked again, looking up so that this time she was meeting Peyton's eyes.

"She did well," Peyton reassured looking at JJ right in the eye, before looking down at Zoë and at that goofy scrunched face she was wearing. "You did good, bug," She reassured her too before also dropping a kiss right in the middle of her forehead, the very same way JJ did so only a few seconds ago.

"Zach did too." JJ noted again, as she sat up straight on the table so that she could look properly at everything around her.

Peyton nodded her head with a smile, but inside she still knew that wasn't enough answer for her girl.

Soon enough of course, JJ was asking again. "Then why did they have to take him away?" She asked, and Peyton could almost swear she was pouting.

She still understood where JJ was coming. She wasn't too pleased either they had taken her boy away too soon, but at least he was with Luke. "For just _one_ last test to his head,"

"They are taking another picture in there," JJ said almost giggling, and with both her hands covering her mouth.

Nodding her head once again, Peyton allowed herself to chuckle slightly too. "Yeah, one more picture for the boy," She said with a smile, before lifting Zoë up from the changing table when the bug was finally all set to go home. "You–"

"She looks pretty," JJ pointed out before Peyton could say the very same thing to Zoë. The two of them chuckled again, and Peyton didn't have any other option but to nod her head as well.

Zoë looked pretty indeed.

Cradling the tiny bug to her chest, Peyton let herself smile for like the hundredth time that day. "We're taking you home, baby," She said letting Zoë take her finger into her hand, but still _not_ letting her take it into her mouth. "That stays with me," She called goofily trying to take her finger back. Zoë however, had different plans already, since she refused quite strongly to let go of her momma's finger. "All right, you can keep it, but you can't eat it," Peyton warned, and couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips the moment JJ started laughing at her words.

She was actually trying to be serious!

"But I still don't get it," JJ all but whined after a moment when her chuckles died down slowly.

Peyton kinked an eyebrow, and wordlessly asked her to elaborate.

"Zach and Zoë, why do they have to keep the c-ca–"

"Cannula, baby." Peyton chimed in helping her little girl with that seemingly big word for her still.

JJ smiled in the cutest of ways before ducking her head a bit. "Yeah, that," She said sheepishly looking back up at Peyton and Zoë. "Why do they have to keep the c-cannula thingy if they can breathe now?" Plopping herself down from the changing table she'd been sitting since Peyton started getting Zoë ready, JJ settled herself on the floor only to look up far too pointedly in Peyton's direction.

She honestly didn't understand.

Peyton thought for a moment, and after looking down at Zoë for a few seconds, she came out with the truest answer she could give to her other little girl. "Because they still could forget," She said, and in all honesty, she was trying as hell not to sound sad as she said the words.

JJ thought over Peyton's reply for a moment as well, and then just sighed all too heavily. "But it is kind of hurting her cheeks, isn't it?" She asked, and now it was her turn to sound sadly.

"Only a little bit," Peyton replied only a few seconds later, as she also stroked gently Zoë's cheek. The sticky pads thingies that held her cannula in place were in fact hurting a bit her skin, but she actually _had_ to keep the oxygen for just a little while longer.

Hopefully, in a couple of weeks' time the two of them would be able to get rid of the awful oxygen for good, and at last be normal bugs.

Though they already were; but just so to speak.

"Momma," JJ called after a moment of silence, and for some reason, this time around her voice carried rather small through the room.

Peyton looked over at her as she spoke, but for another small moment, she stayed quiet herself. There weren't really that many the times JJ called her _"momma,"_ still. Sometimes Peyton was still "_Peyton,"_ some others she was just "_Ma,"_ but even so, though Peyton always tried not to make a big deal every time JJ said the words, it was always without a doubt, a big deal. She couldn't smile this time when she said it though; it was obvious her girl was struggling to explain herself, but she still wanted to do so, and Peyton could actually tell that much.

Tilting a little her head to the side, Peyton motioned her little girl to sit with her and Zoë back on the rockers.

JJ obliged, and actually, far too carefully settled next to Peyton as if not to disturb Zoë who had only a few seconds ago drift off to sleep with her momma's finger all too close to her mouth, _yet_, not quite into her mouth of course.

The girl rested the better part of her body on the free part of Peyton's chest, but still snuggled in a way that let her see the blonde's eyes a little too well. "You...You'd still be my Momma, right?" She asked, and before the words had finish coming out from her mouth completely, she was already looking down. She sighed, and for some reason Peyton had to match it. Either way, before Peyton could say anything JJ was speaking softly again.

She wasn't sure why, but just the way her voice was nothing louder than a whisper was breaking Peyton's heart a little.

"Brooke says the bugs need you a lot, that they still could get very, very sick, and that I should be good and not mess with you and Luke, and that..." JJ tried to continue her rambling but Peyton's forefinger softly pressed against her lips caused her to stop.

JJ waited a beat, but taking a small shaky breath, she shifted up her eyes so that she was meeting Peyton's. The girl's lips were a little bit twisted but in any way, Peyton made herself smile. "Shush," She all but ordered. "I love you bunny," She told her honestly after making sure their eyes were firmly locked. "You do know that, don't you?" Letting a silly tiny smile grace on her lips, JJ managed a nod of her head. "That's all that matters Pretty girl. I love _you…_and Zoë, and Zach just the very same way. I really do," She promised and not for a second, she shifted her eyes from JJ's; she had meant those words more than anything else she'd meant recently.

"I love you too, Momma," JJ whispered back before both her arms wrapped all too carefully around Peyton's frame, and her head was resting over the blonde's chest. Peyton smiled, and with her free hand snuggled JJ closer to her side, but before she could say the words back, JJ spoke softly again.

"And I love you too, Zoë," She said far too sincerely looking at Zoë in Peyton's arms before a few seconds later her eyes shifted up, and fixed in Peyton's. "That's okay, right?"

At the question, Peyton genuinely had to bit on her bottom lip to stop herself from tearing up then and there. "It is way more than okay sweet girl. I...I'm _so_ proud of you, you know that?" Peyton asked despite the fact that that was actually the first time she was saying those words aloud to JJ. It felt strange; of course she was proud of that girl. From the very moment she met her and because of such strong little girl she is, but somehow Peyton had never really before utter the words.

Whatever the case was, a small smile tugged at last at the corners of her lips when JJ's head slowly began moving up and down. "I do," She said smiling and rather meekly before burrowing her head back into the crook of Peyton's neck.

That time around, Peyton didn't even try to say the words back. She didn't need to. She really didn't. She settled with kissing her little girl's head strongly, and just closed her eyes, and sunk in her words.

All of them.

That was honestly everything she could do at that moment.

* * *

It was snickering what Peyton heard when she reentered the NICU after finishing packing her bags. Lucas and JJ had gone ahead from her settling everything that was left to be set in the car before going home.

Peyton was supposedly alone in the room taking advantage of the bugs' nap to get all those last minute arrangements done, but before she could even get a good glance of the bugs sleeping in their shared crib, she'd found herself with _snickering_.

It was nice though. She hadn't seen him in forever, and all in all –_even though it wasn't official yet_– of course he was going to be – at least_ one_ of her babies' godfather.

"They had gotten _so_ big!" Nathan breathed before his eyes had actually met Peyton's. He was focused, and really focused on the sleeping babies before him. He was smiling; smiling broadly, and even from the distance, Peyton was able to tell it was sincere.

She moved closer to Nathan, and even though she did let out a chuckle, before she could say or do anything else Nathan's arms were tightly wrapped around her neck.

Peyton laughed once again, but honestly couldn't find in herself the might not to hug him back. She'd missed him, she actually had.

"Haley called," Nathan began when he finally let go of Peyton and the two of them sat on the rockers in front of the bugs' crib. "She said they were finally getting out of here, and I…I just had to come," He said shrugging his shoulders, and looking away for some reason.

"That's okay." Peyton said back far too simply, and sounding a hell of a lot more smugly than she'd aimed to sound.

She couldn't help herself really, she felt happy, and for the first time in months, she was _completely_ happy.

"I'm glad you came," She added before Nathan could pronounce a single word.

He smiled in return and nodded a little bit his head. "I'm happy for you," He promised sincerely yet the moment he felt the air tensing a little too much, a chuckle_ had_ to be let out. "They certainly _do _look like twins now," He pointed out, and Peyton scoffed looking over at the bugs a little.

She never, never ever thought she'd dress them mainly the same as they were dressed right now, but it really wasn't her fault. What was she supposed to do when Brooke showed up with all and every tiny little matching clothes made for her bugs _especially_? Turn the clothes away certainly wasn't a smart idea when it was Brooke Davis with whom she was dealing with.

And besides, dressed alike or not, they did look darn adorable in those alleged camo suits; Zach rocking green among the shades of grey and brown, and Zoë rocking a light pink herself.

Little did Peyton care they still had to grown a little bit more into the clothes; they looked cute period.

Even though Nathan was stifling a chuckle and Peyton knew that much, she still managed not to glare at him at the comment.

Nathan then waited another moment in silence, but the second that boyish smirk graced his lips; Peyton simply knew the boy wasn't dropping the subject quite yet.

"Just ask," She said rolling her eyes playfully, and shaking her head.

"Do they?" Nathan asked fairly cryptically. Peyton's eyebrows rose and he shook his head _still _smirking. "Them, do they actually act like…twins? I mean, you hear all this stuff…"

"They do," Peyton replied before he could finish asking the question. He looked over at her with his eyes wide at the interruption, and she simply sent him a knowing look shrugging her shoulders._ She_ was their mom, she certainly knew better this time around. "They are not the same at all though," She added, and couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips at her own words.

Wearing a rather bewildered look on his face, Nathan didn't have an option but to shake his head goofily. She had pretty much contradicted herself, he had listened that much!

"None of them is easy," Peyton began explaining. She shook her head incredulously looking over at the crib. She couldn't have said truer fact. "They like things certain way, and lately…they love to just be hold, you know?" She asked shifting her eyes again so that she was looking at Nathan.

He really didn't know, but even so, he felt as though he had to nod his head. Every part of him was anyhow loving that _happy_ smile Peyton had been wearing since the very first moment they locked eyes that evening.

"They won't eat if it's not Luke or me who's feeding them; both of them would be fussing all. day. long. if only their _own_ stuffed animal is not in the _'right'_ place by their crib," She stressed far too pointedly making Nathan laugh. "They both love and fall asleep _really _easily when JJ sings to them. But still…"

"What?" Nathan asked genuinely curious the moment Peyton's voice faded.

His voice wasn't carrying concern though. After all, she was still smiling.

"Zoë still beats my boy by far, she…God, she's such Daddy's girl, you really just have to see her," Peyton said fairly incredulously shaking her head. "She'd be crying, but like _really_ crying," She emphasized nodding her head firmly. "And she really doesn't calm down until Lucas gets her; not me, not Jay, _Luke,_" She said scoffing sarcastically before standing up from the chair. "She's still awesome though," She called quietly already by the crib and looking down quite sweetly at both bugs.

A good moment passed by before she turned to look at Nathan with her eyebrows rather rose. "Are you staying there? Or are you _actually_ helping me getting them out of here?" She asked actually seriously, although it was obvious she was fighting back more than one chuckle. "Luke and JJ should be here soon, so…" She said gesturing with her head towards the bug's crib when all Nathan did was stare back at her.

At last Peyton let out a chuckle when he laughed shaking his head and standing up from the rocker still looking quite baffled.

"You get her," Peyton pretty much ordered when Nathan had already joined her by the crib. He looked down at Zoë and couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips. "She's more of a boy's kinda girl," Peyton noted chuckling after Nathan had already beat her at it.

Nathan was rather careful picking Zoë up and then cradling her all too close to his body. It was certainly not the first time he was holding his niece, yet it was indeed the very first time he was holding his niece with no wires hooked at her. "Hi," He couldn't stop himself from cooing as Zoë slowly opened her eyes and took Nathan's forefinger into her hand.

"Told you," Peyton scoffed under her breath before she picked up her boy as well. Unlike Zoë, Zach did fuss a little at being picked up from the bed.

Nathan was _really_ close to smirk triumphantly, but before he could dare to do so, Peyton was already glaring in his direction.

"_He_ likes his tummy," Peyton explained pointedly and with her eyes quite too wide. "_Zoë_ doesn't. She liked when you picked her up cause she likes to sleep in people's arms, Zach does too, but…he just likes better his tummy when sleeping," She said knowingly, and rather smugly gesturing Nathan to the crib Zach had been sleeping just a second ago _over_ his tummy.

Meekly Nathan nodded his head, yet on his way out of the room he couldn't help but smirk at last when Peyton wasn't looking at him anymore. Zoë preferred_ his_ arms over her crib after all.

"Hey, Nate," Peyton called uncharacteristically softly just the moment before Nathan stepped through the door.

He turned around looking at her smirking, but softened his features upon the way she was looking back at him. It wasn't as if she looked serious or had stop smiling, she just seemed a tad too solemn for his taste.

"Haley," Peyton said simply, and by the way his eyes fell down to the floor at her words, she simply knew he'd understood exactly what she meant by only saying that. She smiled sadly at that though, and that was because she really didn't understand _her_.

"She…" Nathan began, but wordlessly yet shaking her head, Peyton caused him to trail off.

"It's okay, you know?" She called quietly, yet one way or another her voice managed to stay firm. "I'm not going to break down because you guys are having the chubbiest and healthiest little boy or girl in the world. In fact," She said before Nathan could say something, as she well knew he wanted at that moment. "I can't wait to meet that baby whenever he decides to come out, but I…She's just my best friend too, you know?" She said simply, before starting to walk in the door's direction one more time.

Nathan took a small breath looking down at Zoë in his arms before he simply followed after Peyton. "I really don't know what it is," He stated even though Peyton's back was to him. "She thinks in you guys every day, every single day she calls Luke to ask about the babies and JJ and you, and I know she's dying to come, but…but I really don't know why she _can't_. I just guess she feels guilty somehow," He said shrugging, and the moment Peyton turned around looking at him, he could only shrug his shoulder helplessly one more time.

He really didn't understand Haley all that much either.

"I know," Peyton granted quietly. A few seconds of silence passed by between them before she simply sighed and smiled looking up at Nathan. "She really shouldn't be though. Just look," She said looking down at Zach in her arms and smirking a bit as she did so. "We're anyhow going home before she did," She said with a chuckle Nathan actually couldn't be gladder to hear.

He really hoped Peyton knew Haley didn't come, not because she didn't care for her and the bugs, she did, she had just genuinely figure it couldn't be easy for Peyton to see her all big and pregnant while her bugs were still at the hospital.

Then again, maybe Peyton did know, and maybe that was also one of the reasons she was smiling as she finally, finally exited that NICU with her bugs, and what the heck, right? With her best friend in tow as well.

* * *

"What?"

Peyton looked over at him, but shaking a little her head she twisted her lips, and instead of replying, snuggled deeper into his broad arms.

Lucas didn't give up though; he wanted to know what was in that head of hers, so he kept trying; he nuzzled her curls sweetly with his nose and made her giggle quietly with the action. That was pretty much what he had aimed to do, so looking down at her eyes; he kissed her lips gently as if in victory. "What?" He insisted playfully, and Peyton had no other option but to let out another chuckle.

She closed her eyes tightly and took a breath before sitting herself up a little on the bed. She looked firmly into his eyes and kissed back his lips one more time simply because she felt as if she had to. Perhaps, that was just her way to brace herself to the words that were about to come out of her lips. "Brooke asked me today if they were '_off the hook_,'" Peyton uttered quietly, looking over at that bed for _two_, that tonight however, was filled by _five_…two of which, were almost literally, brand new to the world and to pretty much everything else around them. "And I mean, she didn't exactly ask the question like that, but that was what she meant…" Peyton added uneasily, before her eyes shifted away from JJ and the bugs, and she unconsciously began fidgeting with her hands.

Lucas' eyes traveled down to his lap where JJ's sleepy head rested far too comfortable over, and also to the spot of the bed where Zach and Zoë also slept peacefully, though of course, Zoë's arm was in no other place _but_ over her brother's face. The rough way and all, but Lucas had learned already how if he didn't want fussy, screaming babies, the smarter idea was to let them slept as they both willed; _even_, when that meant Zoë using Zach as a backup pillow. "What did you say?" He asked, at last finding his words, and at last, as well, making her look up into his eyes.

Peyton obliged, but shook her head, too. "Nothing,"

Lucas didn't utter a word, but simply smiled gently at her as his eyes fell into a squint.

Peyton matched his smile at first, but then she sighed heavily and it faded away. In silence, she moved back closer to Lucas' side, and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. Her eyes were both fixed in all three of _her_ children, yet she couldn't manage the smile though she was sure as hell that might as well be her favorite sight ever. "I told her that they were _not_." She began explaining solemnly. "I told her everything you and I know now; I…I told Brooke that the doctors had tried their best with them. I…I told her how they had ran tests after tests on the two of them and take endless scans to their heads, but that…even though things seem to be okay _now _with them, that doesn't mean things are going to _stay _okay. I told Brooke that…I…I told her that because they were born _so_ soon their brains weren't completely developed so no one actually knows how things are actually going to turn out for them,"

The statement was hard for Lucas to hear, but he also knew, it had been tenfold harder for Peyton to say. He closed his eyes for a second but could not refute her words; she'd said the truth.

"She also asked me something else though…" Peyton said softly again drawing Lucas attention to herself. He still looked rather pensive…for Peyton it was as though he was still trying to sink in the words she had just said, but she still anyhow needed him to know the whole story first. "She also asked me what had been the hardest part,"

This time around, Lucas didn't hesitate to ask what he already knew she wanted to tell him. "What did you say to her then?"

"That I couldn't hold them," Peyton replied, and just like Lucas, there was not one bit of hesitation in her voice this time. She wasn't looking at him as they spoke, and he wasn't looking at her either, but…both of them knew more than well however, what each other were thinking in that instant. "I told Brooke that the hardest part was to know that those two were _my_ kids, _mine,_ and I still couldn't hold them whenever I wanted to…"

There was then a moment of silence; it was not awkward or uncomfortable whatsoever, it just was. Peyton glanced over at JJ and her bugs in the bed and then looked up slightly meeting Lucas' eyes. "I _can_ do that now,"

Letting a small smile tug at the corners of his lips, Lucas nodded his head. "You can," He agreed simply, before taking a deep breath himself, and lowering his head allowing their lips to meet in that perfect soft kiss. "Happy Birthday," He uttered simply and rather sincerely against her warm skin and that was all and more than he could say at that moment.

His eyes were strongly meeting hers at that moment, and he could vividly feel the pain of all those never-ending nights in that cold hospital room, looking helplessly at those little pieces of them, lessening as he looked tonight right into her eyes. The pain was now somewhat replaced for twinkles in her eyes again and wholeheartedly chuckles would soon again come out of her mouth, Lucas was kind of sure of that…

Perhaps they'd been tested by someone in the last few months, the universe, fate – God, by whom wasn't really the point; they'd been greatly tested, and it took a lot to be '_okay'_ again, but…that night, it was_ just_ _them_ for the first time in over three months. It was he, and Peyton and the other three little people that made their lives complete. Maybe it hadn't been easy – it had not been at all. Maybe all of it was messy – it all was still messy for sure, but then again…things had also been messy almost two years ago when Peyton wrote in the river court – for the whole world to see, how she would love him forever. Things were messy back then, things were messy now, but…things had found its way to come around the last time, chances were, things would come around this time, too.

Looking into her eyes that night, Lucas had the conviction they would one way or another. They simply would.

* * *

**...**

**AN : **What do you say? Ek, if you want you can call this pointless fluff! heehee! For me it has a point anyhow! Hehe! **:)** There was a Brooke/Peyton moment I roughly wrote, but since the chapter was already too long and I wasn't convinced by that part, it didn't make the cut, YET! Nathan did it, and I really wanted him there so I hope you'd like this chapter! Told you it was a bit too jumpy, and you probably didn't manage to understand some things that somewhat referred to past (old) chapters, but in any case, it was a nice chapter to write! Hope you are looking forward for what's next, and oh well...the closure of this one too! Eh, I totally get sentimental when we reach this time in a story! This one is my "second" almost done; I'm allowed to be corny, right? LOL I'm totally kidding! Let me know what you think of this! :)

**PS :** RANDOM! haha! _"Calling out to the astronaut. I need some of what you got. I need...to be high..."_ Dude, I can't take SomethingCorporate out of my mind this week, it's AWESOME! lol


	24. Right Here…

**Author's Note : **_Update! _Since I got really carried away closing this story, now we are getting a two parter with a _littleee_ jump in time. I wanted to 'explore' some 'new' things in the end, so this couple of chapters happened. I really hope you get to enjoy them. I feel actually stronger about the next one, but oh well...I tried the same way with this one. Let me know what you think, and thank you so so much for reading!** :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Right Here… (I)**

* * *

"Maa-maa-ma-maaa"

It wasn't as if she didn't like being called that way, she did; she loved it actually. Yet, when it came as whines, she wasn't too fond of the name per se.

Much more when it wasn't just _one_ little bug who called out her name frantically, but…_two_.

Peyton didn't even turn around from the counter at their calls of _"distress_" at first. She stayed put for a moment, and tried with all her might to kill the smile that so badly wanted to tug at the corners of her lips.

She was their mom after all. She _had_ to stay serious.

Or at the very least; try to be.

In any case, the moment Peyton did turn around, her eyes didn't catch sight exactly of any of the bugs at first, but immediately, her daughter's ones. Peyton didn't say a word, but simply shoot at JJ a _"Who?"_ look the girl knew rather well by that day.

JJ didn't say anything back for a few seconds either, and in all honesty, Peyton simply knew she was having the same hard time fighting back laughter.

"Him," JJ said seemingly simply at last, but that "_Him"_ pretty much meant that _this_ time around, _Zach _was the one that had started the whole riot between the two.

Not missing a beat, and before any of the bugs knew it, Zoë was already being scooped up into her mom's arms.

There was not a giggle or other words then, just a _"look."_ Yet _another_ look. This time however; in Zach's direction. "Leave her alone,"

Three little words that were more than enough to make Zach stop in his tracks, and a chuckle to escape from Zoë's lips.

The little girl didn't have much more time to beam about her mom's tone though; soon after a look was also sent in her direction, and at that, she simply had to kill back her silly smile too.

"Buugbuuugbooo," She babbled far too sweetly for Peyton to resist.

It was impressive, it wasn't even a word, yet in mere seconds, Zoë's little voice made Peyton's front crumble down into the tiniest of pieces.

"Bug's bugging you, boo?" She asked looking sweetly at Zoë in her arms.

The girl thought for a moment; her head crooking to one side in that particular way she only did when she was thinking _"serious matters"_

"Ouais," Zoë stammered out with a teeny pout, and this time, it wasn't she who couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

It was JJ. "Showoff!" She pointed out laughing before moving to the spot in the kitchen where Peyton and the two bugs were.

"Oui," Zach agreed with his big sister, _clearly,_ not to be undone but his _little _sister.

Peyton couldn't help but laugh at that one. Honestly, that was exactly what she did the most now. There was certainly not a dull moment in her house when any of the kids –_or _all three of them happened to be there.

More so now when the little ones were having nothing short of a blast at picking up words from_ JJ's_ French lessons.

Peyton put Zoë back down on her feet and couldn't help but keep smiling at the girl's far too coy smile. She loved to show off, she did, but she also felt shy all too often when the fact was pointed out so openly.

Moving her eyes to Zach at Zoë's side, Peyton couldn't stop herself from scooping up the boy into her arms now. Some days that was her biggest problem really; not having enough arms to have _all_ of her bugs –_at the same time_– into them.

"What were you doing, bug?" She asked, and it only took Zach a second to start matching his sister's coy smile.

"Boo ont pway," He admitted simply and rather soft, timidly looking up into his mom's eyes. "She on't," He said again, and Peyton honestly felt as though she had to pat her boy on the back.

He actually sounded a tad too sadly as he spoke.

"Boo won't play with you, huh?" Peyton asked back anyway, and both she and JJ had to let out a chuckle at how fast his head started shaking his head from side to side.

"No bonne," Zoë chimed in far too stonily for a girl who wasn't even two years old yet, but as one that anyhow knew rather clearly what she thought was good, and what simply wasn't.

Looking at her mom, Zoë shook her head a couple of times, before she –_clumsily_– ran in her big sister's direction, and clung all too tightly to her dress. After all, her mom was cuddling her brother, she also needed the bit of love, and in all honesty, JJ never failed to give her just that. "Sheesss," She said looking up at JJ with those big grey eyes of hers widened as much as she could.

At her words, JJ killed her smile, and Peyton was certainly not oblivious of that. The girl looked at Zoë a little lost for a moment before she just put two and two together. "No _princess_ Zoë, it's ballerina boo," She corrected playfully; taking Zoë's left hand, and making the little girl spun on her spot a couple of times. "Ballerina," She added with a giggle she simply couldn't keep inside.

After giving his mom a sideways smile that seemed to be more of a goofy twist of his lips, Zach plopped himself off of Peyton's arms, and joined both his sisters on the floor. He didn't think about it twice; as soon as he'd reached Zoë and JJ, he took into his hands Zoë's free hand, and started dancing goofily beside her.

Peyton smiled, and even chuckled at JJ's inability not to match the giggles that almost immediately started escaping both bugs' lips.

It actually was a little overwhelming. Not a full month ago, Peyton had been worrying about the bugs maybe having some sort of disability. The doctors were the ones that were troubling them saying time and again things like how close their second birthday was, and yet not real words had come out of their mouths.

That had changed dramatically in the last couple of weeks though. It certainly had, and at the end, after many tests and no real results that explained why the bugs didn't talk yet, the doctors had just told Peyton – and Lucas and JJ; how they might as well just wait and see. How after all, both bugs were already caught up in all other facts that mattered, so it was maybe just a matter of wait a bit longer.

In spite of everything, they _did_ walk and run and play around just as any other toddler would. Even a whole lot more than a regular toddler sometimes.

And that was also okay, but the bottom line was always the same; they still needed to talk, and thankfully, one day they simply did it.

Peyton was with them in the kitchen while JJ was in the family room getting done some of her schoolwork. The girl had been far too focus since for some reason, math simply wasn't her thing, yet in the one second Peyton took her eyes off of them so she could answer the door, the bugs reached JJ and all of a sudden started _"pleading"_ her to play a bit.

Even though Zoë had been very insisting tugging at her pants from under the table, the same as Zach didn't stop to sing that peculiar _"pwsss"_ that sounded more as if the boy had to pee badly, JJ hadn't cave in so easily to their pleas. She had told them both how she was _"too busy"_ with her homework, and that the two of them should go eat or their momma would be mad.

Not Zoë not Zach bought her serious front all that much though; they simply, after making sure Peyton wasn't close-by to take them back to the kitchen again, they continued to tell JJ just how very much they wanted her to play with them.

Zach had then taken one of JJ's pencils and said _"Shoool,"_ a few too many times.

Zoë matched Zach's first word, and started saying –_over and over again_– a "_please"_ that sounded a whole lot more as if she was saying _"pissed"_ but that her sister still knew exactly what she was really saying.

Not five whole minutes passed by before JJ was already on the floor playing with them and asking them every so often what was every single thing that surrounded them as they played with the bugs' alphabet blocks. She had asked them what the name of her notebooks and books was. They had said something with many _"Shs"_ in return but that still was something.

JJ had then asked them for Peyton and they had said _"maa-maa_" with big sets of smiles on their faces. She had asked them for their aunts and uncles, and they had pointed out to JJ's family scrapbook, and then when the book was already on JJ's lap and they were settled at both the girl's sides, the bugs had pointed out at each member of their family with their fingers as they also attempted to get their names right.

For some reason _"Brooke_" ended being a name a little too hard for them to say, so in the end, JJ had to settle with them calling her _"Poo"_ since the _"B"_ and the _"R"_ together seemingly was impossible for them to pronounce right.

Either way, not a second passed by when either one of them hadn't been laughing and smiling.

Zach had been scratching the back of his head when Peyton walked in fairly quietly into the room. She hadn't said a single word. She had simply stood by the doorway and with a watery smile watched as Zach, after a good moment of mussing over JJ's question; let out the goofiest of _"Dada's"_ before bursting into laughter the moment JJ told him how he had done it right.

Zoë had then began whining since of course she wanted to be praised just like her brother was by her sister, but then the words for her simply didn't form so easily.

She had stood up from the floor, and scowled much alike the way her mom more often than not still did. Her arms had been crossed firmly over her chest as JJ hugged Zach and congratulated him time and again. In any case, scowling or not scowling, in that moment was when Zoë had caught her mom into her eyes. She then had cried that _oh-so_ very clear _"momma" _that had made Peyton's presence in the room far too obvious at last.

To say Peyton had struggled to hold both bugs after they ran in her direction and gripped to her in that way only_ they_ could do it, was clearly an understatement.

She had been laughing too. Of course she had been, and out of the corner of her eye she had seen the goofy way JJ had shrugged her shoulders before joining the three of them by the doorway, and perched herself to Peyton as well.

After that afternoon seventeen days ago, the two of them were simply chatterboxes little bugs who would repeat each and every word they would hear.

That very day Zoë had also greeted her dad with a much-awaited –_long overdue_– "Luv Daddy" followed by the most slobbery kiss Lucas had ever received before from his littlest little girl.

Zoë had been up into his arms as she started rambling on and on about who knew what, but that still made not only Lucas and Peyton's heart to swell with pride, but JJ's too for more reasons than one.

Maybe it had been a coincidence the bugs decided to start talking with her and her only. But maybe it wasn't a coincidence, and the fact that that girl who wasn't even nine-years-old yet had _always _been there for them…from the very start, actually meant something for those bugs that were just now beginning to talk and say just what they were feeling.

"No"

Even though sometimes, Peyton would actually wish that the moment they spoke to her, they weren't precisely going against her.

"Yes," She said back sounding just as stonily as Zach was speaking.

The little boy's jaw actually dropped slightly, and he turned his head around searching for his sister's eyes as if for a little _"backup."_ JJ however, just looked at him helplessly, and a bit uneasily shook her head.

He actually _had_ to listen to Peyton.

Sighing, Zach turned around again looking firmly at his mom. "Kay," He said fairly coyly before dropping two small kisses; one to Peyton's cheek and the other of course to JJ's. He then just headed upstairs after Zoë just as his momma had asked him to do a little over ten minutes ago.

"Do you remember my mellow sweet little boy?" Peyton asked fighting back laughter, and sounding far too incredulously.

JJ didn't bother, and simply let out a good fit of chuckles before moving closer to where Peyton stood. "Hardly mom," She replied laughing before Peyton wrapped her arms all too tightly around her small frame. "At least he's getting over his lisp," She added, but Peyton didn't say anything back for a moment.

She just held JJ close to her body and rested her chin over her girl's shoulder. She'd surely be lost without that little one right there that day. "Brooke should be here soon, you ready or want me to help you?" Peyton asked softly at last. Her eyes were sideways fixed on JJ's, and the girl for a few seconds honestly didn't know what to say.

She could say yes, she would probably say yes anyway, but for some reason she just didn't want to be ready today. "My hair's still messy," She called with a sheepish smile pointing at her actually not-so messy hair.

Peyton laughed a bit but didn't let go of her just yet. "I'll help you rabbit," She said simply kissing the side of JJ's head strongly and lingering there for a little bit more than a moment.

She felt selfish, she couldn't help it, she did, yet feeling otherwise would be just as wrong, and of that, Peyton was sure.

At last, she let go of the girl, and patted playfully her butt as she walked her way towards the stairs.

Peyton told her a _"Be right there,"_ before JJ began walking away, but after a short moment, and after heaving a long sigh, JJ turned around on her spot again. "Mom?" She called softly as if maybe hoping Peyton wouldn't hear her.

Of course she did though, and when she turned around facing JJ, Peyton was naturally still wearing her most happiest of smiles. It really had been the perfect day so far. She had woken up with the most awesome of husbands at her side, and with the most amazing of bugs scattered all around her bed. The one thing Peyton could think of ask at that moment, was maybe that _"something"_ that would make her little girl smile just the way she _should_ be smiling.

Peyton still didn't say anything in return, just locked eyes with JJ, and waited with a small smile as the girl elaborated her question.

"Would you…" A small sigh got in the way of her voice, but after matching softly Peyton's smile, JJ shrugged slightly her shoulders. "Would you pick them for me today?" She asked far too quietly. "I know she'd like it better if you do so momma," She said before looking down, and before actually making sense of it, her mom's arms were gently wrapped around her body again.

That was a hug that she needed, and JJ was actually glad Peyton knew her that well.

Then again, JJ really didn't need reminders about that fact; she actually had known how much her mom knew her and cared for her, from the very moment, once upon a time, that very same blonde had pulled her up onto her lap and hugged her to her chest that very way _only_ moms could.

* * *

"I…I still don't…"

"You would never like it," Peyton filled in for her girl knowingly. Her voice stayed soft though, and quite soothingly as well.

With her hands resting gently over JJ's shoulder, Peyton gave her little girl a small squeeze as though telling her to look up at her. JJ swallowed hard, and Peyton was certainly not one to miss that. She made sure to have a soft smile on her face when JJ looked up at her eyes though. That was really the most she could do at that moment to comfort her. "It never _really_ would," She insisted sadly, yet she couldn't not do it.

There was one thing she had sworn to herself she'd never do; that was never lie to the people she loved.

That included Lucas and JJ and certainly the bugs as well.

If it was true she hadn't always held true to some of the promises she had made, sure –l_ike swearing once she'd never dress the bugs alike only because they were twins_– but that didn't mean at all she wouldn't hold true to this one precisely.

She would never lie to them. That would only bring them more heartache and pain, so she simply had promised herself she would never do it...Not even when the truths she would say were a little too painful to bear with.

JJ sighed; she sighed deep and a little sharp before her eyes shifted down, back to the cold stone before her. "What…What you used to tell her?" She asked Peyton again even though her eyes stayed down.

Peyton thought in silence for a moment. Her lips twisted uneasily, but taking a deep breath of her own she crouched down so that she was at JJ's level.

"I mean not now," JJ began elaborating her question needlessly. Her head turned around just enough to have her eyes meeting Peyton's. It wasn't lost on Peyton either of course, just how glistered her little girl's eyes were. "I know what you tell her now, but…before, when…you know? What did you tell your momma when you were like me?" She asked fairly quietly before her eyes shifted away from Peyton's.

"I'm still like you, rabbit," Peyton said softly, leaning in a little and giving the side of JJ's head a small kiss. It was a reassuring one, and one her girl needed. "But you are right, you know?" She said before she sat down on the ground, and motioned JJ to do so as well by patting slightly the ground beneath them. JJ obliged nodding slightly her head.

At first, she was going to sit right next to Peyton, but it only took a _'small'_ scowl from the older blonde to tell JJ how she wasn't supposed to sit there but on her momma's lap. It honestly didn't matter the girl was nearly nine years old, she was still mama's little girl, and more than likely, that was the way things would always be if Peyton could say so herself.

"How come?" JJ asked back at last. She leaned back against Peyton's chest, and lifted up her head enough to see right into her eyes.

"I don't really tell my mom now the same things I used to tell her when I was as little as you are," Peyton began explaining looking just as firmly into JJ's eyes. "You know I used to be a little angry at her back then?" She asked and JJ's eyes actually widened a bit at her admission.

Peyton still smiled at that, and letting out the smallest of chuckles, she looked away from the girl's eyes for some reason. She fixed them on her front instead. She fixed them firmly on JJ's mom grave. Sighing, she let the memories somewhat come back to her mind. She didn't think about it that much. She didn't like it. It made her feel guilty somehow, but then again, if she genuinely wanted –_and she did_– for JJ not to feel those feelings once she grew up, then Peyton simply had to fight back her own feelings for the time being, and just tell the girl everything that she needed to hear.

It got harder with the years though, and Peyton hadn't been oblivious to notice that. JJ had been hardly six when her mom passed away; now she was growing up, she was almost nine, and apparently, growing along with her, her questions were doing so too.

They never stopped coming, and even though Peyton had prepared herself –_or at least thought she had_–for the million questions she knew would come eventually, every time they did, they never stop to hurt a little too much and break her heart in pieces at everything she knew her little girl was feeling.

"Why?" JJ asked again. This time around, her voice carrying a tad too apprehensively. It was as though she already knew the answer, and that scared her somehow.

"Because she wasn't here anymore," Peyton replied sincerely, and she wasn't one bit surprised when JJ's head started moving steadily up and now.

"But I was wrong," Peyton called before JJ could say a word of her own. It wasn't as if she didn't want to hear what the girl wanted to say – because she did. But before she did so, Peyton just wanted her to have all the facts. "I was mad at her when I really shouldn't have, and I…I also felt bad with myself when I let myself felt that kind of things for my mom, you know?" Peyton confessed far too sincerely, and at her words, yet again JJ's little head began nodding.

"That I _need_ you to know…you really shouldn't be mad at her," Peyton told her, not for the first time, but maybe yes for the first time her girl was actually able to sink in properly her words.

"But why?" JJ asked one more time, yet this time, she couldn't stop her voice from cracking. The girl swallowed hard the lump in her throat, and even though she wanted to push away from Peyton, Peyton simply couldn't let her.

She certainly couldn't.

"Because it really, _really_ wasn't her fault," Peyton told her earnestly before painfully catching sight of JJ's eyes filling up rapidly with tears. She didn't want to let them fall and Peyton was able to tell that much. "It wasn't Jay, it really wasn't baby girl," She told her time and again, kissing every so often the side of that girl's head. "It took me a long time, a really long time to see it, but I now know for sure how not your mom, not _my_ mom would have left so soon if only they could have done something about it,"

At her words, even though JJ knew were sincere words, she couldn't help but start shaking her head. She didn't say the words for a moment, but simply cried silent tears steadily shaking from side to side that head of hers. "You don't know that; you…you _can't_ know that," JJ said at last, and for a small moment, Peyton granted her point nodding her own head a couple of times.

She wasn't being completely honest then though; she kind of _did _know.

Peyton waited a few minutes to speak again. She waited in silence; holding on to her little girl tightly and wordlessly reassuring her things would be all right if only she stayed long enough curled into her arms.

The moment JJ calmed enough, Peyton shifted her in her arms so that their eyes were meeting. "I _do_ know," She told her rather simply, yet not lying the slightest of bits.

Lifting up her hand, JJ wiped a few tears off of her cheeks before shrugging her shoulders and asking a quiet "How?"

Matching her motion, Peyton shrugged one of her shoulders, and smiled knowingly. "I just do pretty girl," She said knowing fairly well how that certainly was not enough of an answer for JJ. "I got you, and I got Luke and the bugs as well, don't I?"

JJ's eyebrow furrowed, yet she wasn't looking at Peyton as if she were crazy or with too much skepticism. She was looking at her just a little confused. "Yeah, but…"

"I'm a mom too, bunny," Peyton told her as though that was just the obvious of answers, and in more ways than one, it was. "I'm yours, and Zach and Zoë's mom, and…and I'm Luke's wife too. I…I would never, never _ever_…" She stressed far too pointedly. "Leave _any_ of you have I actually the chance otherwise," She promised firmly, and at the same time sitting JJ up a little so that she was properly looking into that girl's eyes. "You trust me, don't you?"

Letting a couple more tears fell from her eyes, JJ managed a small nod of her head. "Yeah…yeah, I do,"

"I know you do," Peyton said back nodding a little bit her head as well. "That's why you know I'm not lying to you, I…I never would," She promised one more time. "And I never, not ever would leave you, all right? One way or another you will always have me. Always. I can really promise you that much,"

Maybe surprising, maybe not, but at that moment when Peyton looked right into JJ's eyes, she didn't manage to see a bit of skepticism this time around, and only because of that she smiled. She smiled before she pulled her little girl to her side, and kissed strongly the top of her head as a few too many tears kept falling from her eyes.

Sure, she hated every single time JJ would cry on her, but every now and then, she would deal with it in spite of herself because that was exactly what her girl needed.

Letting it all go if only for the time being

A few minutes passed by, and bit by bit JJ began breathing slowly again, and her tears also dried up upon her colored cheeks. "Momma?" She said in something just above a whisper shifting so that she was meeting her mom's eyes.

Her voice was rather husky, and her eyes were beyond puffy, but in spite of it all, Peyton smiled at her offering her a small nod of her head.

"I'm sorry," JJ said even though she was well aware that was the last thing Peyton wanted to hear from her. She said it anyway, and deep down she knew she should. She was somewhat sorry about her feelings. She knew she loved Peyton. She did. But she also loved her mom and not a day had passed by when she hadn't wish for her, but…then there was Peyton and Lucas and the bugs. She had a family she loved and cherished more than anything else in the world, yet sometimes she'd wish for just a little bit more.

For just one more day with her mom; with her_ first_ mom that was.

The girl was saying _"I'm sorry"_ because making sense of her feelings was simply too damn hard for her to do, and Peyton could understand that much. Maybe that was why she didn't reply at JJ's comment, but only nodded her head.

It wasn't a nod of assent.

It was more so a nod of understanding, and that was the very way JJ thought of it.

"You're my momma and I love you, and you're the best momma and I know you're not lying, and I know…I know, but I…"

"You miss her," Peyton filled in simply, yet fairly knowingly before JJ could ramble on more. "You miss her and you want me to tell you something?" JJ barely nodded her head against Peyton's chest, but that anyway was more than enough for Peyton. "You always will." She said sincerely, yet she couldn't stop the apologetic smile that came along with her words. "And it'll hurt; every time you'll think of her it'll hurt you, but…" Sighing, Peyton trailed off for a moment looking up at the clear blue sky above them. "But over time it'll hurt a little less each time. One day you'll wake up and it'll only hurt a little bit,"

"Does still hurts _you_?" JJ asked as she also lifted up herself from Peyton's hold so that their eyes could meet.

Somewhat reluctantly, Peyton let go of her. Still, the moment their eyes met, she found herself smiling softly again. It indeed still hurt. "Only a little bit,"

No more words were exchanged for a good while. They stayed together by JJ's mom grave in silence for a few other minutes until one lone raindrop hit JJ right on the nose. She had let out a small chuckle, yet it had been a chuckle nonetheless.

A chuckle that for some reason, Peyton had been more than terribly glad to listen.

"Can I go and wait you with Daddy outside?" JJ had asked after the two of them had already said her goodbyes to the girl's mother. Usually, JJ would go with Peyton to the blonde's own mom's grave. Yet today was different, and it wasn't as if JJ didn't want to go on with her, she did actually, she was just thinking maybe Peyton needed her time alone with her mom today, and surprisingly enough, she wasn't wrong.

She did need that.

Peyton agreed kissing the crown of her head strongly before letting her go in Lucas' direction. In any case, for her surprise, before JJ started walking in the opposite direction, she give her mom the tightest of hugs. JJ didn't let go of Peyton for a good few minutes, but eventually when she did, she just smiled softly looking up at Peyton. "I wish Mommy had met you," She told her sincerely before heaving a sigh, and letting go of Peyton's waist.

She hadn't been lying, and she was sure Peyton knew that very much.

* * *

**AN : **_"To be continued..."_ You know? LOL : I liked more the second part that the one with the bugs, but oh well...For what it's worth, my nieces turned two too last January. Even right now, they are still these thingies who talk in _their_ very own language only the two of them, plus really really few people of our family gets. Honestly, it's a weird mix of baby's jibberish with English, French, and bit of Italian...it really is quite funny to be with those two heehee!

Anyhow, I hope you'd like this chapter, please let me know what you thought, and well...thanks for reading one more time! :)

**PS :** Next chapter will get a lot that we didn't this time { i.e Lucas...and even a little Brooke. Of course more of the bugs and JJ too heehee **=)** }


	25. …Right Now · Final Chapter

**Author's Note : **Ohhh you guys! We'd reached the end! *lol* I actually liked how this chapter came out a little bit better than the last one, so I hope you agree! It's the ending after all heehee! **:)**

For the second time, I gotta give away a TON of thank yous to all of you who stuck with this story until now! The story was kinda bumpy and some days I was definitely in not my best-writing-mode but you still read so THANKS! *heehee* Chapter came out a little bit long, but I really really hope you can manage to like it! Thanks one more time for being so incredibly awesome and reading my stuff!** :)**

**Enjoy! **

…**Right Now (II) {Final Chapter}**

* * *

"God,"

It was a simple word, it really was. Hardly three letters, yet it was a word Peyton didn't say all that often. Not the way she said it today anyway, and certainly, not for the same reasons she said it today either.

She couldn't help but bit slightly on her bottom lip, and for a few seconds –_before reality actually kicked back in_– she was seriously having trouble keeping laughter at bay.

Deep down she had always known those bugs were trouble. Not in a bad way of course, but they were. They weren't easy. They were stubborn and strong headed as no toddler Peyton had ever met was. Then again, she really hadn't met that many, but _her_ bugs were still not some easy bugs.

Yet, one thing was knowing the fact and another completely different, was seeing them hovering over Brooke as if she was just another of their toys and today they just had found her rather _"amusing_" to play with.

Brooke was laughing though; just the very way the bugs were, but honestly, that wasn't the point.

"God, get off of her!" Peyton pretty much cried, at last finding her words and trying as hell to sound serious. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked taking Zach off of his aunt and putting him back on his feet before moving back to Brooke, and taking Zoë off of her as well.

Zach didn't reply, but by the way his eyes widened, it was obvious the boy wasn't expecting at all for his momma to show up. He stood in silence, and quite frozen simply staring at his mom as she scolded away.

Certainly, he wasn't going to be the only one being chastise a little today.

"Pwing," Zoë said nodding her head when her mom got her into her arms.

Peyton looked down at her eyes far too incredulously, before putting her on the floor, and shifting her eyes so that she was looking at Brooke. She began shaking her head disapprovingly, and honestly, she just couldn't help it. "I told you you could stay with them, but you couldn't carry them around! You can't!" She scolded seriously, even though inwardly not even she was buying her own front.

She was certainly laughing inside at all three of their faces. They weren't all that good hiding out their shocked faces, and though she wouldn't admit it –_not right away anyway_– Peyton did love those sheepish grins all three of them were wearing.

Brooke didn't have a chance to reply Peyton's statement though; before she could, the blonde was already turning to catch sight of Zoë again. That little girl's words hadn't quite sunk in in Peyton until that moment. "And perching onto your Aunt is not _playing_ Zoë," She scolded once again, and this time around, Zoë wasn't as mellow as her brother was when being chastised.

Her eyes actually rolled slightly, and her right hand flew immediately to her hip. "Poopee like it," She stated all too seriously before moving back to her aunt's side, and perched to her arm one more time. "We like pwing," She said again in Peyton's direction, nodding her tiny head at the same time a little _too_ decisively.

"Of course you do," Peyton said fairly sarcastically knowing how it really didn't matter how sassy Zoë showed to be, she was in fact far too young to catch on on her sarcasm quite yet. Shaking once again her head, Peyton grabbed the girl's hand, and placed her right beside her brother again. "Aunt Brooke's not a toy," She told them both as seriously as she could, and the moment Brooke let out a chuckle –_it really didn't matter how she tried to stifled it–_ Peyton turned at her, and sent her a glare. She was actually trying to make a point to those two. "She's not, and…God Zoë, she's _Brooke_ not 'Poop'," She said giving in to laughter at last.

Brooke matched it, yet the bugs didn't quite catch it, and just stared at each other.

Unbeknownst giving both women yet another reason to laugh.

Sanity kicked in far too soon for Peyton anyway. She looked pointedly at Brooke, and for a few seconds simply continued to scold her just with her stare. "I told you," She said again, and for the first time since she walked into the room, she didn't want to laugh. "They aren't babies anymore," She said focused solely on Brooke, but of course, Zoë couldn't stay quiet at her statement.

She genuinely just couldn't.

Quite decisively, she moved back to her mother's side, and looked up at her far too seriously. "A uno baby," She corrected with one strong nod of her head.

Scoffing.

Honestly, scoffing was the _one_ thing Peyton could possibly do at that moment. "You're certainly not a baby anymore Zo," Peyton broke it for the girl who in only mere seconds formed a scowl on her face, and her jaw actually dropped.

"_Eeeee_," Zoë said pointedly through gritted teeth, before turning around and looking over –_all too sweetly_– at her aunt. "Zoeee, uno baby," She insisted nodding her head slowly, yet fast enough to let her aunt know she wasn't joking one single bit.

She was still a baby, and her name was certainly _not just_ "Zo"

It was _Zoë._

Even though her eyes were firmly fixed on Zoë and her very smug front, out of the corner of her eye Peyton couldn't help but catch sight of Brooke and of how badly the brunette wanted to laugh. In all honesty, Peyton didn't want to be mean, she didn't. Then again, she really couldn't stay quiet at that one. "_Yours_ is gonna be tenfold worse and you know it!" She said flashing quite a grin she genuinely couldn't keep inside.

Brooke shifted her eyes up to meet Peyton's, and even though she was still smiling and only mocking to be _"hurt"_ by that statement, deep down she knew it was rather true. "Ugh," She said growling at last, and squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds.

More likely than not, without knowing '_why',_ Zach was the first one letting out a chuckle at Brooke's face. He fast moved to his mom's side the moment she and Zoë laughed too, and even though a little painfully, Brooke did so too.

Hers was going to be a hell of a lot more…not worse precisely, but maybe yes a little more _"demanding"_

Her mom would be Brooke Davis after all, right?

The door swinging open somehow made Peyton snap out of that moment she had let herself fall into. It hadn't been as she had forgotten about Luke and her girl, she hadn't, she just had let the bugs take her mind off of things for a little while.

She smiled looking at the two of them by the doorway, but she also sighed.

She couldn't help it.

Those green eyes of JJ were still puffy, and that couldn't go unnoticed by Peyton.

The girl still cracked a smile the moment both Zach and Zoë ran to hers and Lucas' direction, Zach gripping to her legs, and Zoë's to her father's.

That was the smile Peyton could never get enough of, but that still sometimes, not that often, but often enough, happened to linger to come back.

Especially in days like today of course.

Peyton couldn't really blame her. She after all, had gone herself through plenty mother's day without having one, and it was never easy.

Sure, JJ had her, but today however, Peyton began to think as though she wasn't enough. The ride home from the cemetery had been by far the quietest rides the three of them had shared for as long as they had been together. JJ's eyes had been focused on the road the whole time as Lucas drove them. She hadn't set her seat in the middle of the backseat so that she could be part of Peyton and Lucas' conversations. She had stayed in the back just in silence, and in reality, Peyton wasn't sure what have got her like that. Before she reached JJ and Luke by the parking lot at the cemetery, she had been almost sure their visit had gone "_all right_." Not perfect of course, but not as bad as to have the girl as withdrawn from her as she had ever been before.

Peyton didn't want to push her though. She felt as though she couldn't push her, so for the time being, Peyton decided to let it go.

She could always hope her perky little girl to be back in the morning when not so many reminders about moms and what she didn't have were set at every place she'd look at.

* * *

"You know, I knew you'd be here,"

At the words, she let her eyes fell close for a moment as she also let out a sigh. "How come?" She asked simply and not even bothering to look up at his eyes.

"Because you're my little girl and I know you," Lucas said back just as simply, and only stating the facts. He sat right next to her and wrapped his arms around her frame pulling her to his side. "I'd always known you," He promised all so smugly that JJ simply had to roll her eyes.

It was all in jest though, and she was glad enough to know Lucas knew that much.

He kissed her head, and she nestled closer to his chest as though needing the closeness.

And in fact, she really did.

"I didn't mean to make mom…you know?" JJ began but for some reason the words just wouldn't form.

Her voice was solemn, and Lucas could tell she was sorry for something she really hadn't done. "You didn't do anything to your mom, she…she's just a little worried," Lucas fixed it up for his little girl giving her forehead yet another fond kiss. JJ smiled, but the uneasiness on her features was far too obvious for Lucas to just dismiss it. "Can you blame her?" He added, and this time around, his voice was carrying a little concern too.

Closing yet again her eyes, JJ managed to shook softly her head against Lucas' chest. "I remembered," She whispered so softly that Lucas almost missed it.

He didn't though, and at her words, he couldn't help when his eyes fell into a squint. "What's that?" Lucas asked looking down at her softly closed eyes, and keeping his voice quiet as well.

"Mom," JJ said bluntly yet keeping her voice small. "Mom and Peyton," She said again letting out a shaky breath that Lucas didn't like one single bit.

"Hey," He said soothingly pushing away enough from her so that he could see those eyes of hers. A lone tear fell from her eyes, and his hand almost immediately flew to her cheek wiping it away. He lingered his hand over her skin, and for a few seconds JJ only closed her eyes again and shook her head a few times. "You don't have to carry with this alone rabbit," Lucas reassured her, honestly without a clue of what really was going on; but nonetheless, wanting badly to make things all right for his little girl. "I'm right here, just tell me,"

Lucas was sure the girl wasn't going to say anything before she was one hundred percent sure about it, and rightly, a few minutes came and went in which all she did was breathe as steadily as she could. Her eyes stayed down on her lap, and even though her breathing was indeed a little sharp, she wasn't crying.

She was trying as hell not to do so, and Lucas was able to tell that much.

"That night," JJ began again. Her head slowly shifted up, and taking a deep breath, she managed to meet Lucas' eyes at last. "Momma, she…she was driving and…I was on the back of the car," She said slowly, and swallowing hard every so often.

Lucas stayed quiet, but one of his hands did found his girl's free hand. He took it, and didn't let go of it as she continued speaking. That was honestly the one way he could think to give her support.

"Momma looked over at Peyton…she was at our side, you know?" JJ asked Lucas with a small nod of her head. She kept her voice as even as she could, and she actually smiled softly at Lucas as she asked the question.

Faintly, Lucas returned her the smile, and slowly nodded his head as well. It had been almost three years ago, yet of course he couldn't forget about that night even though he hadn't precisely been there.

"Momma said," Sighing JJ had to let her sentence trail off for a few seconds. "Momma said…'the way she looks at you'," JJ said earnestly, and for the first time that night, her eyes didn't have any intention to be in any place other than Lucas' eyes. "She said; the way she looks at you, and then I…then I turned to look at Peyton when she was actually looking at me, too." She stated but for Lucas it felt as though even JJ was finding crazy the words she was saying. As if she really didn't believe them even though she knew they were true.

"She's gonna make a good mom, that was what my momma told me before she started up the car," JJ added and this time she couldn't stop her voice from cracking. She felt a lump in her throat, and even though she avoided Peyton for the better part of the day, the one thing she needed the most at that moment were her arms around her. "She…" JJ tried to speak again, but Lucas shushed her, kindly taking her back into his arms, and hugging her as tightly as he could.

"Shush," He mumbled into her head dropping small kisses there every now and again. "Shush," He said again even though his heart was slowly breaking at the way JJ's body started shaking slightly beneath his.

"You know it is a little mean you two keep having mid-night outings without me…"

It was a goofy statement; one Peyton really didn't think before saying, but one that she wished she hadn't said nonetheless. Took her very little to realize that much the moment she properly caught sight of her husband and daughter.

A _"Hey"_ and a _"What the heck?"_ was certainly on the tip of her tongue, yet before she could actually address her point, a pair of small arms grapping far too tightly around her waist stopped her from saying a single word.

In spite of herself, Peyton stayed simply quiet at that. Her hands traveled instinctively to JJ's back, and fighting back her own emotions, Peyton began stroking it softly. "Shush," She whispered every so often even though she was sure her words would do little to nothing at helping out her little girl at that moment.

"I just don't understand why she told me that," JJ had said between sobs not five minutes before crying herself to sleep.

By then Peyton had already moved them both back to the porch-swing. She had sat there and only held the girl into her arms for as long as she needed her to do so.

JJ's sobs had not only drain the girl, but Peyton too. And if she could say so herself, she would say Lucas as well. He stayed stoic, yet he was far from okay and Peyton knew that much.

"I don't remember,"

Those had been the three words that came out of Peyton's mouth after Lucas had already informed her everything that was actually troubling their little girl.

Lucas shot at her a confused look Peyton simply could not mistake.

"I remember the red light, I remember when I stopped the car, I…I even remember how upset at you I was…" Peyton explained and without her wanting to do so, a chuckle escaped her lips.

It was somewhat bitter though, but there was really nothing she could do about that.

"And I remember looking over at _JJ_," She stressed, and almost immediately as the words finished coming out of her mouth, her eyes shifted down to the girl in her arms. "I remember her smiley face through the window, I remember her piggy tails, I even remember the way she was dressed, but I don't really remember looking at her mom at all. I…I was just focused on her and thinking about how much I was hoping to get one as cute as her despite of _you_," She said firmly and rather seriously.

Lucas was clearly taken aback by her words, but she couldn't help it. She had to say it aloud if only that one time. She had been mad at him that evening, was it really so wrong if she told him that much?

She sighed anyway looking away from his eyes and it was in that moment when Lucas saw the lone tear that fell from her eyes.

He didn't say anything; he simply reached up his forefinger and wiped tenderly the tear off of her cheek.

"I never meant any of it to happen," Peyton spoke softly after a few minutes of silence. Her eyes fell close, and instinctively, she leaned over to Lucas' side.

Still breathing a little sharp, JJ continued to slumber in between the two of them, yet the better part of her body was resting upon her mom.

"But I just wouldn't trade her for anything," Peyton stated, reaching the point when holding her emotions back clearly got out of her hands, and her voice cracked.

"That doesn't make you a bad person," Lucas promised, and this time around, he did need for her to look back at him properly as he spoke. "It–"

"Doesn't it?" Peyton interrupted pointedly. "If I wish her mom hadn't die that day? _Every_ day," She replied strongly even though she couldn't help the tears that steadily filled completely her eyes.

She didn't let them fall though.

"Every day, but I still can't imagine a world without her, I…" She let her sentence trail off closing her eyes again, and shaking her head slightly.

"You are her mom," Lucas filled in for her, tucking his finger under her chin, and making her meet his eyes. "You've been her mom from the very moment you first held her, and that doesn't make you a bad person. You weren't one to blame in the accident, you were _not_, and the fact that you _chose_ to be there for JJ is what makes you an amazing person and not the other way around," He stated despite the fact that Peyton's head kept shaking as he spoke. "Not everybody would have stepped up the way you did, yet you did, you did it, and together we're giving that girl a life she probably wouldn't have if it hadn't been for you…" For a few seconds he stayed quiet, somehow letting his words sink in.

Lucas took a breath and after kissing strongly the side of Peyton's head, he said the only words that made sense in his mind at that moment.

"It is okay to be selfish,"

* * *

"Shush, go back to sleep," Peyton pretty much whispered when JJ slightly stirred against her own body. She looked down at the sleeping little girl with a small smile painted on her lips. "It's late," She pointed out one more time in a whisper before bending her head down and giving JJ's forehead a small kiss right in the middle.

JJ stayed quiet for a few seconds. Her eyes traveled to her side, and she couldn't help but smile at the way Lucas slept. He would always look the very same way. Whenever he didn't have Peyton –_or one of the bugs_– wrapped into his arms as he slumbered, one of his hands, if not both, would found the back of his head.

Then again, that same smile JJ put on her face at the sight fell far too fast as she heaved a sigh. "You're not sleeping momma," JJ pointed out herself looking up at Peyton. Both her mom's arms were wrapped around her body, and softly Peyton's head was resting against hers too. She wasn't sure when she had gotten there, but in spite of everything, she was glad anyhow both Luke and Peyton were at her side.

"Got a lot in my mind kiddo," Peyton replied her honestly, and even though her voice carried certain amount of sorrow, she was still making herself smile.

"It's all messy momma," JJ noted and even though she should probably be chuckling at her statement, she wasn't. She was serious and Peyton understood completely why.

Honestly, her statement couldn't have been any more accurate.

"It is all messy baby girl," Peyton echoed nodding slightly her head. She took a deep breath, and soon after her motion changed and instead of nodding, her head began shaking. "You know what I first did when I knew I was pregnant?" She asked, and it was no secret JJ had been taken aback at the question.

She just hadn't seen it coming.

"Nope," JJ replied quietly and also shaking her head slowly.

"I cursed at Lucas," Peyton said as sincerely as she'd ever before said something. JJ's eyes went far too wide at the admission, and at that, Peyton let out a small chuckle.

Her little girl's eyes must have been wide, but she also made herself wear a smile as she waited for Peyton to go on.

At least at first.

"What did Daddy do?" JJ asked softly before Peyton could reply, and was in that moment when it hit Peyton the girl wasn't even nine years old after all.

Peyton would forget about it though. She certainly would. Maybe it was because of the bugs and the fact that they were indeed toddlers and attention-stealers, and then JJ would always also show as such mature little girl.

And she was, but then again, that didn't mean she should be treated like it every time.

'_Daddy put them there'_ was on the tip of her tongue, yet shaking her head Peyton decided to go with a different choice of words. "Daddy hadn't done anything wrong, but I was still…"

"Mad?" JJ tried her best guess when Peyton's voice faded.

Peyton looked down at her in silence for a few seconds before her head started shaking. "No, not mad at all, I was just…scared I think," She said just coming to the conclusion herself as well. "I was scared because I really didn't know what to expect. I…I wasn't even sure if I could do it, if I could be a good mom to them, you know?" She said and if she could say so herself, she'd swear JJ was smiling back at her as if in understanding.

She really didn't understand, but she still wanted to be supportive with Peyton.

That was simply something she'd learn to do in her time with her, and in all honesty, that was something she simply loved doing for Peyton.

That was as her very own way to say "_Thank you" _to Peyton_,_ only not with the words exactly.

"You're an awesome mom, momma," JJ reassured her nodding her head quite decisively.

Peyton smiled and matched her motion with her own head. "I didn't know that then and I…" She trailed off for a second biting nervously her bottom lip. "I didn't have _you _to tell me that then," She confessed, and for a moment, the two of them stayed in silence with the few words simply lingering in the air.

"I hate what happened to your mom," Peyton broke the silence when at last the words began forming. "I hate you're going through this, I…I hate you are struggling to figure out just what you are feeling, and I…you know I would have never wish this for you," She promised, and this time around, JJ nodded her head because she did know that. "But you gotta listen to me when I tell you this, and you _got_ to believe me," Peyton warned firmly and even though the room was dark, she made sure to widen her eyes as if for more emphasis. She knew the girl was looking right into her eyes anyway, so it'd do the job. "I am your mom, and not a day has passed by since I met you when I hadn't been thankful for you in my life. You were this little piece I needed right here with me when I didn't even know I did." She stressed, and even though she tried to fight them back, tears were slowly beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "I didn't know you were missing in my life until I get you. Until…until you made me a mom, baby," She said biting her lips slightly for a moment.

"You showed me _so _many things, you_ taught_ me so many things; you still do. I was afraid I wasn't going to be a good mom, but _you_ made me otherwise. You…You made me the person I am now…I…You happened to my life and…you changed it completely, you changed _me_. You made me see things so differently. You made me appreciate more all the little things. Every time you smiled at me or Luke I felt as though I was been given the best gift in the world–"

"You're crying momma," JJ interrupted softly the moment the first lone tear fell from Peyton's eyes. The girl reached up her hand and tried to wipe it away but before she could, Peyton took her little hand into her own.

"I don't think I'd told you about happy tears yet, now have I?" Peyton asked with a smile even though a few other tears kept falling from her eyes.

Even if concern was painted all over JJ's features, JJ still managed to shake her head a couple of times.

"What happened to your mom wasn't right, it wasn't _fair_; it wasn't." Peyton stressed making sure JJ could listen to every bit of sincerity her voice carried. "Yet it happened," She said unable not to sound sad, but still keeping her voice firm. "And now you got _me_ just like I got _you_, and that…that is something to be thankful for. It doesn't matter how we got here, we did, and God kid, you're one of the best parts of my life, and I…I'd be lost without you," She said sincerely, nodding a little bit her head at just how true that statement felt inside her. "_Completely_ lost, so…If it hurts missing your mom; that is okay, because she's your mom, but you still gotta know that I'll always, _always_ be on your side. No matter what, Jay," She said earnestly, and this time around, it was her turn to wipe a lone tear off of JJ's cheek. "It is okay if you wish your momma was alive, that…If I could I'd make that happen for you baby girl; without thinking about it. You know I will…And, even then, _especially_ when you are wishing that, you're going to have _me_ there by your side. I…I'd be there to remember you just what it is like to be _truly_ loved, because you wanna know something? That was _exactly_ what you did for me. You showed me the truest love, and…the one thing I can do to thank you that, is simply love you back. So that, that is what I'll do…I _always_ will,"

It wasn't as if Peyton have thought of just the _"right"_ answer to her words, yet the moment JJ said back an _"I love you, too,"_ she simply knew that was the answer she needed.

Not the one she wanted or hoped the girl would say, but the one she genuinely _needed._

A few minutes passed by, and it wasn't Lucas stirring what made Peyton and JJ broke the embrace they'd been wrapped in for those minutes; it had been a couple little feet, and a slight tug to the blanket that covered hers, JJ's and part of Lucas' body too.

As soon as Peyton turned around looking at her side _properly_, she saw both bugs standing hand in hand beside the bed; Zach's eyes fell down to the floor somewhat shyly, while Zoë's stayed up looking rather expectantly at her mom. Peyton was sure the one thing that girl had left to do was stomp her foot down. After all, her free hand was resting on her hip and everything!

Peyton anyhow smiled at them before she smiled down at JJ. There were still a few dry tears staining her little girl's cheek as well as her own, but even though Peyton thought she was being a bit too naïve, she knew things were simply all right now.

For_ all_ of them.

She could genuinely see that much in the way JJ was smiling up at her when she also caught sight of the bugs.

"There," Peyton called quietly, yet she couldn't help her voice chirping a little. "Not too bad, not too scary, not too…messy, just the life we got baby girl," She said quite earnestly before dropping a kiss strongly to JJ's forehead, and then began pulling both bugs up onto the bed.

Soon after not only them were merely on top of Lucas chirping _"Up, up, up, pwease,"_ but naturally, also JJ.

Given the hell of a job all three of them –_plus Peyton_– were doing waking him up, Lucas didn't have an issue interrupting his "peaceful" slumber so he could be _"up, up"_ for his bugs, and girls.

A few minutes passed by between giggles and tickles and JJ trying to get out of the bugs just the right explanation as to how they actually managed to get out of bed, but the moment Peyton's giggles slowly died down, and for a few seconds she simply stayed quiet, Lucas _had _to knit his brow.

She was still smiling, yet she was quiet and looking fairly pensive.

Letting a smile of his own tug at the corners of his lips, Lucas leaned over to her side, and kissed all too softly the side of her neck.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

He said rather huskily into her ear, and for a few more seconds there was only silence in response.

"I…" Peyton began, but honestly _had_ to let her sentence trail off. She was about to tell him how she wasn't sure if her thoughts were worth that much, but the truth was by far the opposite. They worth a lot. At least this one did anyway. "This," She said simply turning so that she was looking right into his eyes. There was this twinkle in her eyes, and though Lucas had seen it before, he would be never fully amazed at how good it actually made him feel. Slowly a bigger smile was growing on her lips, and effortlessly Lucas began matching it as well. "Guess we actually pulled through," She said, and couldn't help but shrug her shoulder along with her words.

Lucas thought for a moment, before he also shrugged his shoulders. "We did," He agreed rather simply before leaning in, and giving her lips the softest of kisses.

Maybe he should have been surprised when a few too many giggles and taunting _"Oooohhs"_ echoed into his ears, but he really wasn't. That was his life, _their _life. So they had noisy children who like to tease them when they kissed? So what? It wasn't as if those same giggles weren't most days the best part of his day.

They were.

Whether they were laughing at his expenses or not, they still were.

"I'm glad we're here now," Peyton mumbled with a small chuckle against Lucas' lips, before she pulled away from him, and pulled Zach instead playfully to her side.

Lucas did the same with Zoë, and to say JJ was squished between the four of them was clearly an understatement.

Both bugs were at her sides and took them both very little to start giggling again, and to wrap their arms around their sister as she tried to _"free"_ herself from them and "_all the squishing_."

She lost that battle by far, yet not for a second was she not laughing.

The moment Peyton's and Lucas' eyes met again, above the kids and the river of giggles that were escaping their lips, Peyton simply sent at him a soft smile. "And it feels _right_ too," She added, and even though her voice was a tad solemn, Lucas knew that was not a bad thing.

Things were right, and things were just how they were supposed to be.

So life wasn't easy. It could be hard sometimes. That was a fact they knew they would have to deal with, but…that really wasn't at all what mattered at the end of the day.

Tomorrow could bring heartache and pain, but tomorrow could also bring smiles and dreams come true.

Dreams they hadn't even known they'd dreamed, but that regardless couldn't bear a world without them.

Life sneaked up on them one night when a few too many tears had been shed. It had sneaked up on Peyton and her family one ill-fated night, but today that wasn't a bad thing. Their life could well be a fairytale from that day on, or…it also just couldn't be.

Maybe it was strange, but she was okay with that possibility because…At the end of the day, none of the things that _really_ mattered in her life had come easy. Why would that change?

So people sometimes say how nothing in life worth having comes easy.

Maybe they are right.

–_Fin–_

* * *

**AN : **For the last time with this story; thank you very very much for reading! **=)**


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